Dating a girl with a boyfriend??

[memphis12]

Well ive never been in this situation before. So first of al tell u the situation.

My sister has a best mate who i have always had a soft spot for but ive never felt that way, probably because i never see her enough or because i always have a girlfriend or whatever. Anyway... she has fancied me for while, but has boyfriend and has never cheated on him in 2 and a half years, she hasnt even txted another lad never mind kissed.
So the other week we kissed for first time, my sister had been tellin me that this girl (hannah) liked me loads and her crush or whatever was getting alot stronger. So we kissed on night out, but that was it. Few days later we met in secret somewhere where we wouldnt be seen. I then realised this girl was very special and extremely nice and genuine.
She came to my house to watch film and we kissed, talked and then she went silent for last hour, she txt me after leaving and said she was so nervous and shy because she likes me so much and thinks someone like me wouldnt like her.
Next time we met was at her house where she was alot more comfortable and we spoke alot more. she txt my sister sayin she thought she would just fancy me but didnt think she would like me as mush as she does. This week we all went out together on night out and we kissed and held hands all time (she always wants to hold my hand and cuddle me when we're together) I slept at her house but still no sex as i dont think its fair on her lad.
Now it has come to the point where i get butterflys feelins all the time cos i miss her that much and like her that much. My mates and my mam were scared that because im nice lookin lad and a bit of a player i just want a challenge and once she has finished with him i will just lose interest because i always just go for challenges then get bored... but this is very different as she is not normal type i go for as i always go for the slim stunners! but she isnt.. but ive fallen for her i think.
When we woke up yeterday morning together after that night out she was just holding my hand and cuddling me, she has even started txtn me when her lad is there .. i told her yesterday that i want to go with her properly... she still thinks i dont fancy her and im just taking piss and she will hurt him for nothing... she is quite insecure...

So could u give me your views on this situation please and also how many of you's have been in semilar situations and what has happened?

Cheers

 

[Bussey]

Is it just me... or is hanging out with your sister and picking up her friends a little weird :S... Maybe its just me.

Whatever man, **** what is the problem? She likes you, you like her... **** the other guy, if he can't keep her interested, **** em! Stop worrying about some other guy, you're here for YOU.

I don't see the problem here at all. (The only problem I see is if your sister is like 6 years younger then you lol)

 

[Legend]

dude love triangles suck. I would bounce out and let the other guy have her. There are to many single available women out there to let pass you bye. Dont waste anymore time on this one. Im not going to let a female string me a long ever again. I refuse to let that happen again.

 

[memphis12]

yeah i know.. the thing is.. i always have very pretty girls and always get bored with them... she is pretty but not stunning! but i like her company so much.. i never act like this with a girl.. i have butterfly feelings all the time.. and want to see her all the time. The thing is her boyfriend.. he knows alot of tough ppl and wil make things very difficult for me and also she will prob get a kickin (and i know u think she deserves it, but he aint no saint) the problem is this... ive fallen for her, and from what i gather she fell for me along time ago... but she is quite insecure so cant understand why someone like me would want to go with her or want to stay with her. She goes so shy when she is at mine and so nervous and sometimes she cant even speak.. and her friend told me she wasnt even like this with her lad.. and that she likes me so much that it makes her nervous and shy... how the hell do i get this girl basically!! lol

 

[Vibe]

First of all, if she is with a guy who would give her a "kickin," you're doing her a service by taking her from him. I mean - if this guy is not holding her attention and she is totally smitten with you, their relationship is not going well anyway. Two years is a long time to just "toss."

If you really want her, reassure her. She has low self esteem and seems very insecure. Let her know that you'd love to date her exclusively but you can't keep going on seeing her while she has a boyfriend. Let her know how you feel about her, but make sure she knows you won't be strung along. She has to make a decision.

She may pick her boyfriend...but If you really want something, you have to be prepared to lose it.

~Vibe~

 

[memphis12]

Cheers 'vibe' ... well i do like her alot, i got her to my house yesterday because i told her i wanted to 'talk' .. she finished work early as she wanted to know what it was, now she thought it was going to be me ending it.. so i said "look i really like you, but i cant do this anymore" her face dropped and looked like she was going to cry.. she never spoke for the whole 25 mins of being at my house... I told her that i wanted us to go out .. and that i like her alot... She txt ma sis when she left and said that she hadent spoken cos i had embarressed her and also because she doesnt know why she is so shy around me and becasue she likes me so much.
We txt a bit last night and she sent one saying "i dont want to finish becasue i dont want hurt by you, but........ i shouldnt stay with my lad just becasue im scared of hurting him"
I sent really nice txt but also had to say i cant guarantee i wont hurt her as there are no guarrantee's in life but she has everything i am after and more! and could really see us working!
She txt today to see if i was going to this place she works at with my sister and asked how i was keeping, i waited long time to reply and then just replied with "not coming now, and yeah im good.x" very blunt - but want her to know that she has to be single to be able to txt me and stuff....

 

[Bussey]

Lol, what the ****... This is soooooo AFC!

Let her know how you feel about her,

This is a garbage post! Seriously there is nothing to discuss here. You are just making yourself look like a ***** Memphis.

how the hell do i get this girl basically!! lol

YOU ALREADY HAVE HER! FOR **** SAKES YOU TELL US SHES LIKE IN LOVE WITH YOU AND YOU LOVE HER SO WHAT THE **** KIND OF QUESTION IS THIS?1?!?!?!?

I swear this site is going downhill... I've posted like 12 times saying THIS IS A PICKUP FORUM, and now we get people like you who get girls but don't know how to get this less hot one that loves you....

Here I have a question... I have all these people I know, and they say they can get girls, but then when one likes them they all freeze up! I think what they need is a good cry and a hug among friends... We really need to discuss our emotions more and get more in touch with our feelings. What should I do?

 

[Vibe]

Originally posted by Bussey
Lol, what the ****... This is soooooo AFC!



This is a garbage post! Seriously there is nothing to discuss here. You are just making yourself look like a ***** Memphis.



YOU ALREADY HAVE HER! FOR **** SAKES YOU TELL US SHES LIKE IN LOVE WITH YOU AND YOU LOVE HER SO WHAT THE **** KIND OF QUESTION IS THIS?1?!?!?!?

I swear this site is going downhill... I've posted like 12 times saying THIS IS A PICKUP FORUM, and now we get people like you who get girls but don't know how to get this less hot one that loves you....

Here I have a question... I have all these people I know, and they say they can get girls, but then when one likes them they all freeze up! I think what they need is a good cry and a hug among friends... We really need to discuss our emotions more and get more in touch with our feelings. What should I do?

Hey, dude. So you seem like the kind of guy who is here because he can't seem to get close to people and has no outlet for all those repressed emotions he's had since he was a kid. How does that make you feel?

In case you'd forgotten, people have feelings. They're there and there's not much anyone can do about it. So better to deal with them than just ignore them until they come back and bite you in the ass. Seriously, dude. How far do you really get with all that self-righteous, vein-popping bull****?

Not everything is a clear-cut, black and white answer. Obviously memphis knows what to do but if he needs a little support, I don't mind giving it to him. Live and let live, man. Lighten up.

~Vibe~

 

[memphis12]

well even though you were calling me on that last reply it made me laugh out loud! hey! i can get the women and am no 'afc' .... but you just said this is a site for picking up girls and for keeping them, from the posts i have read! I havent got the girl!!! she has just txt me two mins ago wanting me to go to this halloween party tonight! at her house as her mam and dad are way for week. I told her that it would be bad idea because her lad would be there, but she replied saying that there will be loads of people so he wouldnt notice! and whats she doing txtn me when she is meant to be having fun at party and her lad is coming! just told her it wouldnt be nice seeing them together and them going to bed at end of the night.
I havent got this girl.. nto by a long shot! this is first girl i think im not going to get! i have only been like this once before, and i ended up being with for over 5 years.
So again .. i stress i havent got this girl! i want her so bad though and thats why am on here.. if thats ok with u like..?

 

[memphis12]

cheers vibe... i agree... i do know wat to do and usually get girls with hardly any effort or more than often no effort. But this girl is different and its messing with my emotions like no girl has done b4.. so all help is greatly appreciated. cheers.

 

[Vibe]

Originally posted by memphis12
cheers vibe... i agree... i do know wat to do and usually get girls with hardly any effort or more than often no effort. But this girl is different and its messing with my emotions like no girl has done b4.. so all help is greatly appreciated. cheers.

The sad fact is that most girls who say they will leave their b/f for you will not. You will really have to convince her by showing her that she is really missing out on something much greater than what she has with her current lad. A little push-pull would work well for that. Social proof yourself at the party. She will see how awesome you are and it will remind her how much she digs you. When she goes back to her b/f, she'll feel especially empty and unhappy because she knows that you are right there and she could just be with you. So yeah - as long as you go to the party and don't give her TOO much attention, it should really increase her attraction for you.

The other thing you can try is just let her know that leaving her b/f IS an option. She shouldn't live unhappily to save someone else's feelings, etc. My favourite way to do this sort of thing is to have the conversation with someone else, ABOUT someone else right in front of her. That way you're not too direct but she still gets the message. Make sure the other person agrees. She wants it to be true. She wants someone to convince her to leave her b/f. She just needs that extra push.

~Vibe~

 

[Sapiens]

Not to be an azz, but why would you want to date another man's woman? When there are so many available out there?

There is a saying: the older you get, the more you respect others property. Point being, do unto other as you would have them do unto you.

My 2 cents,

-Sapiens

 

[Bussey]

:crackup: :crackup: :crackup: AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA

So you seem like the kind of guy who is here because he can't seem to get close to people and has no outlet for all those repressed emotions he's had since he was a kid. How does that make you feel?

Lol, interesting. You know me so well. Are you stalking me? Makes me laugh because you know nothing about me.

I havent got the girl!!! she has just txt me two mins ago wanting me to go to this halloween party tonight! I told her that it would be bad idea because her lad would be there and whats she doing txtn me when she is meant to be having fun at party and her lad is coming!

it wouldnt be nice seeing them together and them going to bed at end of the night.

I havent got this girl.. nto by a long shot! this is first girl i think im not going to get!

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wow, SHES ASKING YOU TO GO TO HER PLACE!

You bail cause you ***** out and are scared of her.

SHE TELLS YOU ITS OKAY LOTS OF PEOPLE WILL BE THERE (SHES BEGGING YOU)

You bail cause you ***** out and are scared of her. Then you get even more AFC and worry about her sleeping with someone else, (which if you wanted WOULD be YOU not him)

AND LAST OF ALL, YOU SHOOT YOURSELF IN THE LEG WITH "this is first girl i think im not going to get!"

WHAT THE **** IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!!?!? SHE IS THROWING HERSELF AT YOU AND YOU ARE WORRIED YOU WON'T GET HER! **** man.. I don't think you're the player you think you are... This just reeks of desperation and AFCness... No offense, but if you haven't already closed this chick whos basically signed herself to you... you really need to read the bible or get into some therapy.

 

[Vibe]

Originally posted by Bussey
Lol, interesting. You know me so well. Are you stalking me? Makes me laugh because you know nothing about me.

I didn't ask if it makes you laugh. I asked how it makes you feel that you come off that way?

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wow, SHES ASKING YOU TO GO TO HER PLACE!

You bail cause you ***** out and are scared of her.

SHE TELLS YOU ITS OKAY LOTS OF PEOPLE WILL BE THERE (SHES BEGGING YOU)

You bail cause you ***** out and are scared of her. Then you get even more AFC and worry about her sleeping with someone else, (which if you wanted WOULD be YOU not him)

AND LAST OF ALL, YOU SHOOT YOURSELF IN THE LEG WITH "this is first girl i think im not going to get!"

WHAT THE **** IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!!?!? SHE IS THROWING HERSELF AT YOU AND YOU ARE WORRIED YOU WON'T GET HER! **** man.. I don't think you're the player you think you are... This just reeks of desperation and AFCness... No offense, but if you haven't already closed this chick whos basically signed herself to you... you really need to read the bible or get into some therapy.

Okay, I'm gonna have to agree with that. You ARE letting yourself get pretty intimidated by this girl. I understand that you're really into her, but if you want her, you definitely have to be sure of yourself. I understand the problem though. You know you could have her, but you don't want her under these circumstances. The hard part is getting her to leave her b/f - it's a tough shot. It's 50/50 whether she will leave him or not, but the best thing you can do to help your case is get her thinking that it's a viable option (and an opportunity for something better).

~Vibe~

 

[memphis12]

rite... how can i be the one bedding her if her lad is there/?? and i ahve told u she has boyfriend.. sure i put that somewhere.. oh yeah the heading! so she wud be going to bed with him! again i havent got her, i sent txt saying i wouldnt like to see them together bla bla,. like i said.. and then sent one sayin nothing will happen tomorrow night when she is out cos i have genuine feelings for her now.. and she needs to decide.. and she said "i understand, will u still talk to me" so i replied "yeah i guess, i guess u dont like me as much as i thought" and she replied "i do.. thats the thing" .. my girlfriend, as in just friend thinks she doesnt want to come out of secure relationship for someone like me who finishes a different girl eveyr month.. but its different..

 

[backbreaker]

Let me put you on the game my friend...


You are with what I would classify as a "FREAK"


No, I don't mean freak in the sexual manner... Imean in someone you don't need to take too seriously...


She seems great?

It's not her that seems great... it's the newness of the "realationship" that seems great... It's the feeling of falling in "Love" all over again that has you feeling the same way...

(That's why I always have a rule... I NEVER date a girl until this "newness" wares off, and nothing but your true feelings are left standing.. took me 5 months to date my last GF,b ut it was a smart thing to do)

once this newness falls off, she will get board and find someone else to fall in "love" with all over again.

I've been in a very similar situation as you are know when I was younger... only difference was I was ****ing the girl every other night and every night after work (we worked together)...


You are putting up no resitance... 2-3 weeks from now at the pace you are going you are going to wonder "where's the love?"... Every once in a while, say NO... Do a hobby, be busy, go out with friends.. eVerytime she wants to see you, you can't make yourself available, I don't care how much fun you are having.

IF her BF was a jerk like you say he is, and you are such a great find (not saying you aren't, but you get my point) then there isn't a decision to be made, she would have long left her BF...

I can't say it enough times, stop paying attention to what women SAY and start paying attention to what they DO..

Think about it like this... every woman has what I call a "drama meter"... Unilke men, who are very rational thinkers, women can, and do, go out of their way to create drama. Women have to have something to talk about. Not necessarly with MEN, but usually it does have something to do with men.

This for her is uncessary drama.. the fact that she is with a guy who she says she doesn't want she raise a huge red flag.

Plus, you don't have his side of the story, just hers... You don't know WHAT he would/could say about her that could be damaging.]



why doy ou give a **** if she is sleeping with her.... BOYFRIEND... I mean, that si one of the privliages of having a GF is that you get to **** her brains out...

And when they break up, even if it's for you, The sex doesn't stop... it dies down.. this is a scientific fact.

You need to **** this girl and quick...

Remember, part of the reason she was attracted to you at first was because she didn't know you.. now that she knows you, ,she knows an AFC guy who begs and gets mad when she has sex with her BF

 

[backbreaker]

Originally posted by Sapiens
Not to be an azz, but why would you want to date another man's woman? When there are so many available out there?

There is a saying: the older you get, the more you respect others property. Point being, do unto other as you would have them do unto you.

My 2 cents,

-Sapiens

It's not his property.. it's his Girlfriend...


Wife=property

Girlfriend= Girl I am ****ing on a constant basis.. we eat and **** from time to time as well

 

[memphis12]

freak... well thanks .. lol.. well am not someone you take serious to be honest as i change my mind more than a normal person, im often called fickle.
She has had alot of chances to go behind this lads back, and first time me and her met we didnt get on, in fact i was me, just having a laugh and doing wat i do, but she didnt know how to take me and took me seriously.
She got to know me little bit better on the ocasional convo when we were out. She then started to have 'crush' on me and even the other day she said "if im being honest i just fancied you and thought to myself: i would love to shag him!. but now i find myself likeing u more than i have liked anyone"
She is one of mys siters best mates and also some other girls i know mates. so i know the score, she has never cheated and this is totally out of charater for her, so i believe she is genuine.
When she found out i liked her, her response was: "you's are taking the piss, no way wud he like me" and she is insecure and her lad is just plain average" maybe the novalty will ware off when she finishes him, but in my heart i believe i like her .. alot! i was meant to be meeting a really pretty, canny lass the next night after we first met and i belw her off which is very uncharacteristic of me.. so must have something there. But even if i do change my mind we should at least try and see how it goes. She obviously dont love this lad anymore.. so....

 

[backbreaker]

WAKE UP

the only reasons sh eliked you is because she didn't think she could GET YOU


Know that she HAS you, the game is over

 

[memphis12]

well..... i did what i said i would do and i didnt speak to her on night out on sat, just smiled... so.. nearly end of night and me sis txts me sayin that hannah really likes me and is gonna finish her lad.. so i end up stayin at hers. Next day she does what she said she would and she finished him yesterday. The thing is she didnt txt me to tell me she had finished him! my sis did.. so i thought well if she wanted me to know surely she would have told me. Anyway.. she has said that she wants to keep it cool for bit and doesnt want people knowin as it will hurt him so much (which is understandable) but we have ben sneakin around anyway. So now i get feeling that she will just want to be single for bit.. i asked her on sat night if she wanted to be single and she said "no i want to be with you" but thats when she was drunk. So now i just dunno if i give her space and time.. becasue she might then think am not interested... and yes i do sound like one of those afc's or whatever you said.