Dating a divorce woman with 15yrs old kid....

[Gangster Of Love]

The thing is...it is BEYONG my imagination and comprehension how a man that is in his mid 20s and going to college is focusing on the kind of woman he is focusing.

If he wants to date or just have fun...he has UNLIMITED access of 18-25 year old woman. UNLIMITED access to sex.

It is being in a cow farm...but instead of eating steak...he is eating hot dogs.

Hahaha. When you put it that way, makes a lot of sense. All I suggested was he go out and bang the college hotties, and anyone he wants, and not get too caught up with any in particular, regardless of age.

 

[Latinoman]

Many men try to use the "want to gain experience" thing as an excuse to date older women (note: 3 years older is not an "older woman" from a mature Forum perspective).

But how can a man "gain experience" when he is hoping that "older" woman shows him the lead.

Guys...you want to learn how to lead...then go out there and take charge! Don't expect a woman to teach you how to attract women or certain how to lead women.

You gain experience by dating the women in their 20s. And you gain that experience by doing that in your 20s. So, when you are in your 30s, you know what to expect from those women in their 30s.

Wasting your 20s with older woman is not going to prepare you to date women in their 20s. It is not going to allow you to understand why women mature certain way or experience their changes. In fact, it will make you inexperience with women's prime age: her mid to late 20s.


If you want to date older women...do that after you have GAIN considerably experience with the prime women (20s). And do that at your own risk too...but at least understanding what you are getting into. And avoiding getting stuck (e.g. a man that has never eaten steak would consider a hot dog a gourmet dish).

 

[Latinoman]

Hahaha. When you put it that way, makes a lot of sense. All I suggested was he go out and bang the college hotties, and anyone he wants, and not get too caught up with any in particular, regardless of age.

You and I know that a 33 year old woman STILL a relatively young woman. (35+ is what I consider matured).

So, that's not the reason I am being hard on him. The reason is that in his particular situation he is a College Student. Single. Knows how to dance. And he comes in here asking for advice on how to deal with this other woman.

 

[WestCoaster]

Latinoman is on fire, last two posts are tremendous. Also, the hot dog in relation to steak analogy is spot on. I thought I was cool in my late 20's dating an older with kids mommy -- wrong! I was no hero, I was an idiot.

Also, most DJ's here have a difficult time separating "casual" relationships from getting in too deep. I don't know about our intitial poster here, but once guys start getting the nooky, they don't know how to spin the plates and oneitis steps in.

I'd rather have oneitis with an age appropriate/single/no kids 20 something than a divorced 30 something with kids baggage ... actually I'd rather not have oneitis at all, but you get the idea.

 

[amoka]

still into me....

Fellas, I think this lady is too into me. Well, she took a 'long-break' yesturday from work to come to my other dancing class. I wasn't expecting her there at all. When I asked her, she said she just to a "long-lunch break". Really she is hot. I should give her a call sometimes this friday and ask her out. A woman her age, should I ask her for a coffee or ask her to perhaps cook so I can come eat at her place. What do you all suggest?

 

[WestCoaster]

I can tell you're already going down the path of oneitis, what should I do, blah, blah, blah ... just ask her out wherever you want to go.

And my guess is you could find hotter and SINGLE/NO KIDS in your age bracket if you'd listen ... but you won't. We'll soon read threads on how she's playing you, the kid is getting in the way, etc.

Focus on someone more age appropriate. She's into you to play you.

 

[amoka]

I can tell you're already going down the path of oneitis, what should I do, blah, blah, blah ... just ask her out wherever you want to go.

And my guess is you could find hotter and SINGLE/NO KIDS in your age bracket if you'd listen ... but you won't. We'll soon read threads on how she's playing you, the kid is getting in the way, etc.

Focus on someone more age appropriate. She's into you to play you.

Message well received....

 

[Latinoman]

I can tell you're already going down the path of oneitis, what should I do, blah, blah, blah ... just ask her out wherever you want to go.

And my guess is you could find hotter and SINGLE/NO KIDS in your age bracket if you'd listen ... but you won't. We'll soon read threads on how she's playing you, the kid is getting in the way, etc.

Focus on someone more age appropriate. She's into you to play you.

The interesting thing is that if I was in his shoes...I would have probably be doing that woman a long time ago. However, I would have been doing that, while working on several other women.

Now, once again, I'm tough on him, because time gone is time lost.
Maybe all she wants is just sex. That's fine. But maybe, she sees him as a possible provider (College Student with a future). Hmmmm.

However, I truly believe that he is in the road to Oneitis. And the reason is very clear...he has LOT of access to prime-rated women...but he is here asking advice about how to get this one. And that's the issue I personally have.

If this was a Forum on how to give men advice on how to get laid...I would certainly be giving that kind of advice. But this is a Forum designed to get men out of AFCism and in the direction of DJism.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

Haha. If she went to look for you, she is wanting to bypass all that other stuff you keep over analyzing. Where do you invite her out to, should you go to her house so she can cook? etc. etc.

How about next time she goes to see you or you see her, get her in your car and tell her to start massaging your arms and shoulders. Take it from there. You will bypass all the other stepts. At this point, if you do not take it physical soon, she will look for someone else.

 

[Latinoman]

Haha. If she went to look for you, she is wanting to bypass all that other stuff you keep over analyzing. Where do you invite her out to, should you go to her house so she can cook? etc. etc.

How about next time she goes to see you or you see her, get her in your car and tell her to start massaging your arms and shoulders. Take it from there. You will bypass all the other stepts. At this point, if you do not take it physical soon, she will look for someone else.

EXACTLY!

I will be blunt...I would be doing her in the damn dancing studio too. Or somewhere near by.

 

[SoCalMike]

EXACTLY!

I will be blunt...I would be doing her in the damn dancing studio too. Or somewhere near by.

LOL

I hear that. Older women with children are usually very horny and easy to lay because most mid-20's to mid-30's men don't want them. So they are often deprived sexually.

My advice to you is to lay her, and then if she starts trying to get serious say "whoa, hold your horses, I just want this to be a casual thing". Either that or don't bother at all. You do NOT want to get tied into this at your age it WILL NOT WORK. How about when she's 40 and you're 30? common now... think of the long term. It's just not plausible.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

According to a poll last week on clubmom.com (I know, unscientific), 63% of mothers who responded said they had sex once a week or less. They're not sexually deprived, their sex drive falls through the floor. The myth of the horny older woman is yet another feminine social contrivance with the latent purpose of leveling the playing field with younger, hotter women that have the biological advantage over women who've passed their expiration dates.

From a personal standpoint I've hit it with 41 y.o. women when I was 22 and I can say from experience that, while these women were definitely easier to hook up with, the intensity of the sex was considerably less than any 20's age girl I had got with at that time. Though they were hot, none of them were better looking than the 20 y.o.s I was getting with at the same time. Trust me, older women are simply easier to get with, but the sexual frequency and intensity will always be lacking by comparisson.

 

[Centaurion]

Trust me, older women are simply easier to get with, but the sexual frequency and intensity will always be lacking by comparisson.

Operating in absolutes are a dangerous thing.

I have met several 'mature' women (35+) that totally blows away your average girl in the sack.

 

[WestCoaster]

All you need to know about this post is Latinoman's steak/hot dog analogy.

Young men -- including your's truly here back in the day -- waste too much time on the first gal that winks their way. Older divorcees are either looking for saviors or sex partners. It's not worth the emotional energy, even for a quickie.

Besides, if you want a quickie, why not focus on the excellent 20-30 age group that is right in front of this guy?

Also, gals in their 20's are much better to be in LTRs with than 30 something divorcees. Trust me, done both in my 20's.

I'm giving out this advice because I've been there and it was a huge mistake. In your 20's, focus on women in their 20's. These women are at the prime of their lives emotionally (they've yet to become bitter and/or divorced), baggage-less (usually not with kids), goal striving (if they're in college or trade school, they're developing their intellect and skills), and usually physically fit.

I'd kill for a time machine, to be honest, to go back and re-write my stupidity in my 20's.

When I went back to grad school after 15+ years of working in the media profession, I was reawakened to the beauty and excitement of younger women. I forgot that women actually smiled, laughed, had fun, enjoyed life, and truly enjoyed being around men instead of hating them. (Trust me, the Pacific Northwest is the man-hating capital of the Earth.)

Window of opportunity: In your 20's that window is large and open. As you get older, it gets smaller and starts closing. I'd suggest taking advantage of the young age-appropriate/no-baggage women that are at your fingertips right now.

I'll be p-ssed if you don't.