Dating a Co-Worker

[gr8one]

I decided to break my own rules about a month ago. I had just gotten back from Hawaii, and was feeling very confident. A friend of mine told me that a girl who I have always considered cute, was no longer engaged.

I happened to run into her later on that day, and she confirmed by asking me if I had "heard what happened." I politely said no, and had her give me a brief summary, etc.

After I left I began to think about my plans for later on. I was supposed to attend a Car Club meeting/ BBQ that night, and didn't want to show up alone.
When I got back to my Office, I shot her an Email from my desk. I asked her if she was busy later, and if she wanted to join me. She said yes, and we went out.

It quickly turned into a pretty good date, and we ended up making out later that night.

Long story short, Things have been a bit awkward. I was being blown off frequently, so I backed off. As predicted, she came around looking for ME!
We have gone out a few more times, but I still have trouble getting her to open up.

As far as effort goes, I have put forth about 90% of the "Work" in this Relationship. I am thinking about calling it quits.

Which brings us back to my initial dilema. I don't want things to be weird everytime I see her. It has happened already, when she blew me off initially.
I tried so hard not to show any emotion or displeasure towards her.

She has hinted to the fact that there may be other guys in the running. I don't feel like I should have any competition, heheh, because like the name says, I am the Great One! LoL

Finding another lady to direct my interests towards is pretty hard around here. I am stuck in an insanely small town in Oregon.

I am always willing to find one though,...

 

[flexion_]

Well if she just got out of an engagement then expect flakey'ness.

 

[gr8one]

Yeah I expected that. She's been treated like crap in most of her past relationships, so of course, after the way I've treated her in such a short time, she must be feeling overwhelmed!

My "female friends" have told me about her, and have given me some insight to how she deals with her problems, and such.

They have advised me to just keep my distance and not let myself get played!
I often forget that girls can be players too. So I am going to take it one day at a tme and not sweat this chick.

Gonna put her on the back burner so to speak.

 

[grinder]

Quite a few threads on here about work relationships and, as you know, universally, a bad idea unless the job is disposable or you are leaving.

Not too many responses here as it literally has all been said before. Wise move backing off. Way easier said than done....especially, knowing she will test you, and, of course, since you work with her you are kinda trapped. You know that backing off will increase her interest and you will be tempted to cave in, unless you've got somethng else going on.

 

[Latinoman]

She's been treated like crap in most of her past relationships

Really? Were you there?

after the way I've treated her in such a short time, she must be feeling overwhelmed!

Huge mistake! You are rationalizing her unacceptable behavior.

They have advised me to just keep my distance and not let myself get played!

Not let yourself to be played? Hmmmm...you see the issue here? This is a woman that you painted as being mistreated. A woman that your female friends warned you about possibly trying to play you.

I often forget that girls can be players too.

That's pretty obvious.

So I am going to take it one day at a tme and not sweat this chick.

But, you are swating her already!

Gonna put her on the back burner so to speak.

Good idea. And good luck.

 

[Latinoman]

Quite a few threads on here about work relationships and, as you know, universally, a bad idea unless the job is disposable or you are leaving.

Still a bad idea. Regardless of the job. References are very important when you are seeking new jobs. You will be surprise how people sometimes talk about former co-workers. And those are REFERENCES!

If you do something like this...you must do it very very privately.

 

[squirrels]

Don't date girls at work. You won't be able to focus on your job when you know there's viable p00nani in the vicinity.

Trust me on this one.

 

[gr8one]

Great advice Latinoman...
"No $hit!" Sometimes we all need a third or fourth opinion to see the big picture.

Dating a co-worker has always been on my list of No-No's...but this girl is Frickin' Hawwwt, and I am a warm Blooded Male!

:yes:

 

[izza]

Gonna put her on the back burner so to speak.

This is a pet theory of mine, which may be a bit crazy, but here goes: a woman watches a man to decide how to feel. If a man overpowers a woman with affection, the woman runs away. If you put a girl on the backburner in the wrong way, she says "he doesn't care," mourns and moves on. I know you don't feel that's true, but I've watched it happen to myself a hundred times. Aloofness has limited effectiveness with women (it works well but only up to a point). Whereas for men, there is nothing we want more than a woman who doesn't want us! Most women want to connect. It's true that there are some head cases that only want to be abused; most women react to me being cold and aloof by being cold and aloof. Don't get your hopes up, but don't give up. Forget the other men, if you're so great she'll stay with you. Right? That's what I thought.

Dating co-people is such a bad position to be put in. I have always been terrified of doing it.