For some reason, a goodly portion of us males were programmed to expect that 'dates' are the norm, and not a Reward, as they should be.
However, in any logical fashion, does it make sense that you're TREATING a girl before she has even earned it? No wonder dating stats are low for the majority of men, and those who are in the 'know' offer those as REWARDS later.
A date, in the purest form (unless she's paying), is something offered to a woman, or amongst you 2, in the long-run, either after long-run bonking, or a LTR. In any event, does it make sense to make a day of the Aquarium, or sauntering about the big city, generally on your expense without any committment?
Hell, nah!
If you can't chill under the most basic of situations, like a movie, taking a walk along a boardwalk, @ the beach, or a park...how will you ever enjoy the fruits of a great date?
Don't reverse the 2 situations. Success for me improved ten fold when the normal situations were AWESOME and THEN, and only THEN, did we pursue more elaborate dates, like a night out at a hotel, dinner, movies, concerts, bar hopping, or cookouts.
Moreover...by keeping them low profile, you get an understanding of how deep her interest is. If she says'..."I only do this___, this___, and this___," then she's a serial-dater. I've known those women. It's EASY to get a woman's number if she's partially interested and you take her out on your dime. She's curious enough about you and sees no downside with a meal/movie involved. Not to mention, it's not as easy to kino when you're at a restaurant eating or your @ the movie's with the clunking armrests in the way. Yet, if you're at home, walking, or at the beach, the focus is ENTIRELY on how you 2 click. Make no mistake, she and you, can't hide behind anything, you can't make off the cuff comments to fake conversation. It's piss or get off the pot. Interest is known IMMEDIATELY in these situations, as it should be.
Why waste your time in the future, when you can find out how she is now? Don't put off to tomorrow what you can do today. Granted, if she'd make an awesome friend because you share an interest go for it; don't burn bridges. But if there's no possible way to be romantic, know now, as any man should.
And most of the time...a girl who is truly 'down' with you, will more often than not ask to just chill. They don't care about what they do, they only care about who they are with, throwing out the nerve racking pasttime of where do I go on our first date?
My suggestion: Your or Her house.
An outing...will be more memorable when you to know her.
Case-in-point:
As a young fool, I met a cute gal at none other than my grandmother's retirement community. She managed the bar/restaurant and was completely drop dead gorgeous italian gal. Not having done my 'due diligence', I assumed the 'let's go for drinks thing' after she was through. Well, she was nothing of a drinker, but more a coffee/latte/espresso fanatic and LOVED the BoSox.
Mistake #1: Not knowing the proper situation, I let her assume the perception of me, rather than me establishing it.
Mistake #2: It was loud. I couldn't chat with her as you should any stranger, and very obnoxious, as the bar was having 'Kareoke night'.
Mistake #3: A date occurred. Granted, at the time we both lived at home, but it would have been far more interesting to get her number and meet her during the day. The night date doesn't quite establish me as reputable as I otherwise am, especially on a first meeting. And lacking any kino...it fizzled.
Suffice it to say, we did have another date, but there was no chemistry there on a personal level and it pretty much ended.
So, in summation...don't offer the date. That's your 'Ace up your sleeve' for the future. Get to know her (if that's what you want). You need face time, not phone time. Even coffee is ok. But nothing big. Perhaps a quaint place with a theme. After you understand her interest, you can do a date thing that will deepen your bonding.
*Pick something she and you have always wanted to do together as a first time experience. New experiences are always better than rehashing old ones.
*If she's really interested, you or her can elect a date or event (I like those better) that gets you psyched. I've had girls introduce me to things who always ask "Isn't this great" and when energy is high, there's no better feeling.
Good Luck, Men.
A-Unit
However, in any logical fashion, does it make sense that you're TREATING a girl before she has even earned it? No wonder dating stats are low for the majority of men, and those who are in the 'know' offer those as REWARDS later.
A date, in the purest form (unless she's paying), is something offered to a woman, or amongst you 2, in the long-run, either after long-run bonking, or a LTR. In any event, does it make sense to make a day of the Aquarium, or sauntering about the big city, generally on your expense without any committment?
Hell, nah!
If you can't chill under the most basic of situations, like a movie, taking a walk along a boardwalk, @ the beach, or a park...how will you ever enjoy the fruits of a great date?
Don't reverse the 2 situations. Success for me improved ten fold when the normal situations were AWESOME and THEN, and only THEN, did we pursue more elaborate dates, like a night out at a hotel, dinner, movies, concerts, bar hopping, or cookouts.
Moreover...by keeping them low profile, you get an understanding of how deep her interest is. If she says'..."I only do this___, this___, and this___," then she's a serial-dater. I've known those women. It's EASY to get a woman's number if she's partially interested and you take her out on your dime. She's curious enough about you and sees no downside with a meal/movie involved. Not to mention, it's not as easy to kino when you're at a restaurant eating or your @ the movie's with the clunking armrests in the way. Yet, if you're at home, walking, or at the beach, the focus is ENTIRELY on how you 2 click. Make no mistake, she and you, can't hide behind anything, you can't make off the cuff comments to fake conversation. It's piss or get off the pot. Interest is known IMMEDIATELY in these situations, as it should be.
Why waste your time in the future, when you can find out how she is now? Don't put off to tomorrow what you can do today. Granted, if she'd make an awesome friend because you share an interest go for it; don't burn bridges. But if there's no possible way to be romantic, know now, as any man should.
And most of the time...a girl who is truly 'down' with you, will more often than not ask to just chill. They don't care about what they do, they only care about who they are with, throwing out the nerve racking pasttime of where do I go on our first date?
My suggestion: Your or Her house.
An outing...will be more memorable when you to know her.
Case-in-point:
As a young fool, I met a cute gal at none other than my grandmother's retirement community. She managed the bar/restaurant and was completely drop dead gorgeous italian gal. Not having done my 'due diligence', I assumed the 'let's go for drinks thing' after she was through. Well, she was nothing of a drinker, but more a coffee/latte/espresso fanatic and LOVED the BoSox.
Mistake #1: Not knowing the proper situation, I let her assume the perception of me, rather than me establishing it.
Mistake #2: It was loud. I couldn't chat with her as you should any stranger, and very obnoxious, as the bar was having 'Kareoke night'.
Mistake #3: A date occurred. Granted, at the time we both lived at home, but it would have been far more interesting to get her number and meet her during the day. The night date doesn't quite establish me as reputable as I otherwise am, especially on a first meeting. And lacking any kino...it fizzled.
Suffice it to say, we did have another date, but there was no chemistry there on a personal level and it pretty much ended.
So, in summation...don't offer the date. That's your 'Ace up your sleeve' for the future. Get to know her (if that's what you want). You need face time, not phone time. Even coffee is ok. But nothing big. Perhaps a quaint place with a theme. After you understand her interest, you can do a date thing that will deepen your bonding.
*Pick something she and you have always wanted to do together as a first time experience. New experiences are always better than rehashing old ones.
*If she's really interested, you or her can elect a date or event (I like those better) that gets you psyched. I've had girls introduce me to things who always ask "Isn't this great" and when energy is high, there's no better feeling.
Good Luck, Men.
A-Unit