dated a 20 year old, what is the next move?

[warpy]

he folks,

about a week ago i took this hot girl's (hb8) digits. called her a few days later for a 2 minute chat to show interest because i was very busy that week. and i set a date for saturday also i found out she was 20. anyways we went out, was fun but it did feel like i am older than her. i am 27 and i guess 7 years makes a big difference atleast with this girl.i have asked around to see what my friends would do, they all say they would definitely date a 20 year old, but most never had a 20 year old so thats not realy a good advice heh.

i am not saying i am the a serious guy or anything, i am actually not. but even though there is a definite gap between our ages. one that i dont feel with 23 year olds. so my first question is how can i bridge this gap?

my other problem is that its been a while since i have dated someone for the first time, i know that i should escelate the kino and see how she reacts.
but i could realy use some advice on that, cant help thinking at times she is a kid and i am crossing my red line if i do something like this with her, crazy.. i know.
she is trying to qualify to me by saying she dated 27-29 year olds before but still..
so what i am realy asking is how i am going to escelate the kino to the point we all realy want to go , did anyone had this kind of age gap before, i could realy use some words of wisdom from anyone with this kind of experience.

thanks in advance, W.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

7 years is not that big of a difference. If she is attracted to you, she will brag to her friends about the age difference. Sounds like you are the one who's making it a big deal.

If she has a sense of humor, tease her about it, in a fun way. Make her qualify herself to you even more. She already sees you as the prize, so don't loose that. If you show that you are the one who's insecure about it, she will treat you like she treat the boys her age. Remember to always be fun. She is young, she probably thinks all guys in their late 20's are wanting to settle down, etc.

I dated a girl 10 years younger. Met her when she was 18, kissed her, but didn't date her until a few months after she turned 20. She told me " You are the only guy who doesn't kiss my ass."

Get her to your place. Casually for a movie, or for her to cook for you. A good way to begin kino is to get her to massage your arm. If she's into you, it will escalate. How to get her turned on and move to intimacy is an entire post, so I won't get into it here.

 

[warpy]

@GOL those are indeed words of wisdom, i have to agree that i am a tinsy bit insecure about it but i am sure it will go away, about the teasing part, i was doing it on that date heh. we went to a place where they had this pub and a coffee place and i said "i guess we cant enter that place today lol".
i definitely dont want to settle down, at this point i want to get a whole lot more hands on experience with the ladies.

one thing that is actually on my mind which is the first kiss which will probably happen after a date, with girls i know its quite easy to get that going but since i have only known her for a little bit, i need to find my way into going for it, possibly without getting a rejection heh. i saw this line in the movie, "dont ask to kiss, just do it, be a man" and i realy think that is a good advice lol, for a movie. what i realy need is to find a couple of nice ways of doing it without thinking. i already have one idea in mind, its my b.d coming soon and i could say "dont i deserve a birthday kiss" <pause> get closer.. money shot. all advice is appreciated.

thanks again.

 

[Cableguy]

I'm 33 and dating a 20 year old. Damn I love young girls.

 

[warpy]

right on!

so how do you feel about the age difference, never an awkward moment ?

 

[Cableguy]

The age difference has never been a serious issue. She's more mature than alot of chicks my age. She can't go to most of the bars and clubs I go to so I never have to worry about her popping up when I least expect it.

 

[Freddy1]

36 dating a 19 yr old.

 

[tuxen]

As everyone else said, 7 years is nothing!

As for escalating, get her over for dinner, bottle of wine, movie.

While watching the movie, exchange massages.

At some point, grab a pillow smash her in the head, pin her down, and start tickling her. etc etc, you should be in the bedroom in no time

 

[warpy]

okey heh got the point

there is a friend's party tomorrow, thinking about inviting her well to see how she is realy. a friend told me its not a good idea, but after reading some of these replies i think its alright.. thoughts ?

 

[NorPacWolf]

Two young people in their twenties dating is cool. I've dated several 18 year olds. I found them to be quite mature: intelligent, kind, well spoken, interesting. I've also met women in their forties who didn't quite have their act together.


Wolf

 

[Gangster Of Love]

warpy, I would not invite her until after you have established you are a love interest for her and she to you. Meaning, until you at least kiss her and you are not in the position where you are still just friends. You don't want to spend too much time with her in an environment where you will not be able to escalate. I would get together with her, attempt to escalate, establish where you two stand, and then invite her to meet your friends.

Most of the time, people won't totally be themselves among strangers, mainly because they don't know how they are gonna come across to the others and the person they are interested. This is where you gotta consider that she is 7 years younger.

Do let her know, by mentioning it if she asks, that you went to a party, etc. Gauge her reaction, then invite her to get together with you.

 

[warpy]

"Do let her know, by mentioning it if she asks, that you went to a party, etc. Gauge her reaction, then invite her to get together with you."

meaning, if she reacts in "why didnt you invite me" sort of way then it was the right choice ?
i could mention it to her that i am going to this part on thursday and see how she reacts, then judge by her reaction if its safe to invite or not.

the real reason behind this, is that i have a huge exam on thursday and i might be able to get with her on the weekend at all. and i dont want to postpone it to next week.. once a week is good, once in 2 weeks is kind off bad.

does anyone also know a good thread on how to throw in the first kiss without getting rejected off the bad. picking up signs its good. for public places, car, saying good bye after you drove her home, etc etc..

thanks for the advice everyone !

 

[tuxen]

Do you want this chick as a girlfriend, or do you just wanna pound her?

If you want a girlfriend, take her to the party etc.

If you wanna pound her, just invite her over for the dinner/movie/wine.

As for escalating kino for the kiss, at some point when the mood is good, just ask her:

'are you ticklish'

<whatever she says isnt important>

Give it about 5 minutes, and attack her. Usual response after a while is they'll try to tickle you back in which case you either straddle her, or the other way round, and kissing is naturally the next progression.

This takes out some of the fear of rejection because if you get a playful response from the 'ticklefight', you know she won't reject the kiss.

Mind you if you do the party thing, kiss her at the party, rather than when you take her home. This way by the end of the night you may have escalated to the point of pounding her.

 

[ER!C L!VE]

Enjoy it while it lasts! Don't bring up the age difference. Don't talk about the 'good old days'. Keep everything positive and talking about current events and the future.

Damn, it's a good time on SoSuave when men in the Mature Man section can discuss dating girls 1/2 their age and not get flamed to death. 2 years ago it was a different story. :cheer:

Cheers!

 

[Vulpine]

The next move:

Find 5 or 6 more of them to date.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

Enjoy it while it lasts! Don't bring up the age difference. Don't talk about the 'good old days'. Keep everything positive and talking about current events and the future.

Damn, it's a good time on SoSuave when men in the Mature Man section can discuss dating girls 1/2 their age and not get flamed to death. 2 years ago it was a different story. :cheer:

Cheers!

ER!C L!VE, I agree, but don't jinx it. Just wait 'till that older lady gets a hold of this thread. You know, the one who only dates younger men, yet is repulsed when an old guy hits on her or her daughter.

Vulpine is right, looks like Warpy is already too in his head with this particular girl. Get yourself more of then to work on, and stop putting so much emphazis on this one. Seen many a men develop one-itis doing this very thing.

Warpy, Tuxen is right, you need to decide what you want from this girl. With that being said, I would move into escalating physically, and sleeping with her ASAP regardless of what type of relationship you want. It is just good business to establish that, plus you'll be the one in control. You don't want a 20 year old kid being in control in this interaction, believe me, you will go crazy if you fall into the category of frustrated men who don't know how to deal with a young woman who has growin' doubts and doesn't let him know where they stand.

As long as you keep contact, and there is high enough interest, you not getting together for another week will only build her anticipation. Yes, if she asks why you didn't take her, you will know her intereste is high, regardless of the fact you didn't invite her. Just works that way. Just tell her you don't know if she's cool, and mature enough (teasingly)to meet all your cool friends. Then quickly move into the qualifying questions. "Are you mature", "Do you know how to cook?", etc. All along you need to gauge her interest by how she reacts and keeps the convo going. Do this after the party. After it already happened.

The fact that you have a huge exam on thursday will only help your cause. If she asks why you didn't invite, etc. tell her you are not sure if she's a dork (teasingly), then tell her, "just so there is no hard feelings, I'll see what I can do about getting together this week, since I have a huge test this thursday." Tell her you might be able to see her for an hour or so. THIS WILL DRIVE HER NUTS. If she's interested.

Are you asking how to escalate towards the kiss, because she is young, or because you just don't know how to regardless of age. You do it just like you do with every bird of any age. That is why you must get her alone, no parties yet. You escalate just like Tuxen, myself, and others already told you. By being playful, the tickle, the "massage my arm" routine, the hit her with a pillow playing, etc. This probably won't happen at that party.

 

[Latinoman]

Enjoy it while it lasts! Don't bring up the age difference. Don't talk about the 'good old days'. Keep everything positive and talking about current events and the future.

Damn, it's a good time on SoSuave when men in the Mature Man section can discuss dating girls 1/2 their age and not get flamed to death. 2 years ago it was a different story. :cheer:

Cheers!

Men were getting flamed 2 years ago in here for dating younger women? I don't understand why!!! After all, that has been the norm (men dating considerably younger women) for hundreds of year.

The only flames I can imagine would be from WOMEN posters...and I don't see many in here.

 

[Freddy1]

Enjoy it while it lasts! Don't bring up the age difference. Don't talk about the 'good old days'. Keep everything positive and talking about current events and the future.
Cheers!

Great advice!
It makes me feel a whole lot better.

 

[warpy]

The next move:

Find 5 or 6 more of them to date.

vulpine you rock, love your posts man.

 

[warpy]

As long as you keep contact, and there is high enough interest, you not getting together for another week will only build her anticipation. Yes, if she asks why you didn't take her, you will know her intereste is high, regardless of the fact you didn't invite her. Just works that way. Just tell her you don't know if she's cool, and mature enough (teasingly)to meet all your cool friends. Then quickly move into the qualifying questions. "Are you mature", "Do you know how to cook?", etc. All along you need to gauge her interest by how she reacts and keeps the convo going. Do this after the party. After it already happened.

i did not call her all week, but i did talk to her for 2 minutes on IM to show her my new art.
i guess it builds anticipation, i shouldnt have talked to her on IM, but what the hell .. it happened already.

The fact that you have a huge exam on thursday will only help your cause. If she asks why you didn't invite, etc. tell her you are not sure if she's a dork (teasingly), then tell her, "just so there is no hard feelings, I'll see what I can do about getting together this week, since I have a huge test this thursday." Tell her you might be able to see her for an hour or so. THIS WILL DRIVE HER NUTS. If she's interested.

yeah i got just the thing, i will be near her house on friday, i'll tell her i can only see her for like an hour after because i have another exam next week.
right on !

Are you asking how to escalate towards the kiss, because she is young, or because you just don't know how to regardless of age. You do it just like you do with every bird of any age. That is why you must get her alone, no parties yet. You escalate just like Tuxen, myself, and others already told you. By being playful, the tickle, the "massage my arm" routine, the hit her with a pillow playing, etc. This probably won't happen at that party.

mostly because its kind of tricky for me to do it with girls i have just met. i think her age should take some minor factor in this.i will do the tickle fight/massage routine though.

Do you want this chick as a girlfriend, or do you just wanna pound her?

If you want a girlfriend, take her to the party etc.

If you wanna pound her, just invite her over for the dinner/movie/wine.

As for escalating kino for the kiss, at some point when the mood is good, just ask her:

'are you ticklish'

<whatever she says isnt important>

Give it about 5 minutes, and attack her. Usual response after a while is they'll try to tickle you back in which case you either straddle her, or the other way round, and kissing is naturally the next progression.

This takes out some of the fear of rejection because if you get a playful response from the 'ticklefight', you know she won't reject the kiss.

Mind you if you do the party thing, kiss her at the party, rather than when you take her home. This way by the end of the night you may have escalated to the point of pounding her.

definitely pound. tickle fight it is. i'll remember that.

Enjoy it while it lasts! Don't bring up the age difference. Don't talk about the 'good old days'. Keep everything positive and talking about current events and the future.

Damn, it's a good time on SoSuave when men in the Mature Man section can discuss dating girls 1/2 their age and not get flamed to death. 2 years ago it was a different story. :cheer:

Cheers!

lol still not half my age man, heh.