Date won´t kiss on 2nd date

[Juanto]

So, I met this polish girl on a meetup, and on the same night we basically had our first date (after the meetup I took her alone for drinks, and then a walk). I initiated kino on the first date (she reciprocated hugging me and holding my hands), and went for the kiss at the end of the date, where she gave me the cheek. She texted me later saying she had a great time and would like to do it again.
3 days later had a second date, went for drinks again, 2 different locations. In 2nd venue after starting kino and her holding my hand, I tried to kiss but again rejected. We left the bar and went for a walk, she had her arm around me and vice versa. I backed off a bit on the kino, waited a bit more and went for kino again. Tried kissing for last time, again rejected. I acted cool and said "its my job to try, its yours to resist, I understand". Didnt try again after that. Whats puzzling for me is that she reciprocated kino, I made sure to show her I wasnt interested in only friendship. She also mentioned going out for dinner the next week, although she did mention she likes men to be "patient".
Later the evening, when she got home, she texted saying "arrived safely home, sleep well my friend. Hugo Boss (my parfum that she sniffed that same night) is nice.... Have a great week".

Was this the message of "death" to me?

 

[marmel75]

Haha...yeah she wants you to be patient while she strings you along for a free meal and then you never hear from her again...

You are wasting your time here, IMHO

 

[Juanto]

Haha...yeah she wants you to be patient while she strings you along for a free meal and then you never hear from her again...

You are wasting your time here, IMHO

Well at least she didnt get any free meal from me to this day, only went for drinks and today she insisted on paying 50/50. My gut feeling tells me she either isnt very interested or that she is very structured. But both are bad options anyway, and after the last message it seems pretty clear, dont think this could be a **** test could it

 

[marmel75]

Well at least she didnt get any free meal from me to this day, only went for drinks and today she insisted on paying 50/50. My gut feeling tells me she either isnt very interested or that she is very structured. But both are bad options anyway, and after the last message it seems pretty clear, dont think this could be a **** test could it

I don't see it as one, but go out with her again if you want to. Personally I'd drop her for a couple weeks and pursue other options if you have them and then come back to her in a few weeks. She'll get the message.

 

[Juanto]

If she contacts me again for something, should I just tell her directly im not interested in friendship and therefore reject her idea of going out?

 

[Shift]

I'd go out with her again but only if she contacts you first. Low key date, stroll through the park or something. Like the other guys are saying I wouldn't make her a priority. If she won't even kiss you on this next date I wouldn't put any more time into her. Just my opinion, I'm not a pro though lol.

 

[icantgetlaid]

There was a girl who didn't kiss me on 2nd date who ended up being a long time plate.

I would meet her again for a drink or something low key ... when you see her escalate escalate escalate and accept nothing less. If she doesn't reciprocate after this 3rd meet up then I would next with confidence.

 

[Trump]

So, I met this polish girl on a meetup, and on the same night we basically had our first date (after the meetup I took her alone for drinks, and then a walk). I initiated kino on the first date (she reciprocated hugging me and holding my hands), and went for the kiss at the end of the date, where she gave me the cheek. She texted me later saying she had a great time and would like to do it again.
3 days later had a second date, went for drinks again, 2 different locations.

Bro in my opinion 2nd date should be your house/her house so you can easily escalate. Shouldn't be going from location to location on a 2nd date either. Should only be one location.

In 2nd venue after starting kino and her holding my hand, I tried to kiss but again rejected. We left the bar and went for a walk, she had her arm around me and vice versa. I backed off a bit on the kino, waited a bit more and went for kino again. Tried kissing for last time, again rejected. I acted cool and said "its my job to try, its yours to resist, I understand".

It's her job to resist you? Lol. Bro her job is to look sexy enough to keep your attention so you are willing to have sex with her. Not to fight off your advances.

Didnt try again after that. Whats puzzling for me is that she reciprocated kino, I made sure to show her I wasnt interested in only friendship. She also mentioned going out for dinner the next week, although she did mention she likes men to be "patient". Later the evening, when she got home, she texted saying "arrived safely home, sleep well my friend. Hugo Boss (my parfum that she sniffed that same night) is nice.... Have a great week".

Was this the message of "death" to me?

No. Just invite her to your place and cook dinner and watch a movie or something. Make the move. If she still resists, wish her a good night and have her contact you.

 

[devilkingx2]

So, I met this polish girl on a meetup, and on the same night we basically had our first date (after the meetup I took her alone for drinks, and then a walk). I initiated kino on the first date (she reciprocated hugging me and holding my hands), and went for the kiss at the end of the date, where she gave me the cheek. She texted me later saying she had a great time and would like to do it again.
3 days later had a second date, went for drinks again, 2 different locations. In 2nd venue after starting kino and her holding my hand, I tried to kiss but again rejected. We left the bar and went for a walk, she had her arm around me and vice versa. I backed off a bit on the kino, waited a bit more and went for kino again. Tried kissing for last time, again rejected. I acted cool and said "its my job to try, its yours to resist, I understand". Didnt try again after that. Whats puzzling for me is that she reciprocated kino, I made sure to show her I wasnt interested in only friendship. She also mentioned going out for dinner the next week, although she did mention she likes men to be "patient".
Later the evening, when she got home, she texted saying "arrived safely home, sleep well my friend. Hugo Boss (my parfum that she sniffed that same night) is nice.... Have a great week".

Was this the message of "death" to me?

okay here's what you do. go out on the third date with her if it's an option, if not, next and NC forever, don't waste your time.

on the third date pick 1 of these options:

1. a really cheap date (take her to a fast food joint or bowling or to play pool)

2. don't buy her anything, she pays for herself (it doesn't matter where you go if you're doing this one)

3. both (make her buy her own big mac)

act normal on the date, you didn't notice and don't care about how the last two dates went, go for more kisses and such, if you don't get some action, a bare minimum of a makeout with some groping, consider this a complete failure of a date.

remember, you're not 12, she's not a homschooled sheltered girl, she's not a nun or the pastor's daughter, she's not a traumatized victim of anything or a space alien who doesn't get how human relationships work, there's no reason you shouldn't get a kiss long before date 3, don't put up with getting nowhere past that.

frankly she's not relationship material from the sounds of it, a girl so non-sexual(or worse, controlling/manipulative) sounds like a recipe for disaster

 

[bigneil]

Dating milestones 2016:

1) She flirts
2) You let your romantic interest be known right away
3) She compliments you
4) She kisses or at least hugs you
5) She writes her number down
6) You send initial text
7) She replies to initial text (large percentage fail here)
8) You are able to entertain her via text for a few days (some say not to text too much, but early on, most girls with high interest will text you a LOT, let her do most of it)
9) You are able to get her to initiate a text conversation on a given day (she should initiate about twice a week and you should text about 5 days per week)
10) You offer a date (Example: I'm staying at the Ritz Carlton next Saturday night and I'll be dining at their five star restaurant called X if you want to join me. I'll be there at 8)
11) She accepts
12) She says she is excited (I find that women who are going to put out almost exclusively use this exact word)
13) You go MIA for 1-2 days right before the date
14) She sends date reminder (never send a date reminder yourself)
15) She shows up for date (give her a kiss on the cheek when you greet her but don't mess up her makeup or hair)
16) She touches you first during the date (I am hands-off until this milestone occurs)
17) She mirrors you when you are seated at the bar (lean toward her the same angle. Never rotate 90 degrees to face her. Never rotate more than she does)
18) She maintains comfortable contact (example - your knees are touching as you sit together)
19) She kisses you good night
20) MOST IMPORTANT - After the date she sends a text thanking you. Never text her until this happens
21) Even if sex happened, minimize any talk about sex after the date. Remember, she might say she was drunk, and is likely in a different state of mind

 

[devilkingx2]

Dating milestones 2016:

1) She flirts
2) You let your romantic interest be known right away
3) She compliments you
4) She kisses or at least hugs you
5) She writes her number down
6) You send initial text
7) She replies to initial text (large percentage fail here)
8) You are able to entertain her via text for a few days (some say not to text too much, but early on, most girls with high interest will text you a LOT, let her do most of it)
9) You are able to get her to initiate a text conversation on a given day (she should initiate about twice a week and you should text about 5 days per week)
10) You offer a date (Example: I'm staying at the Ritz Carlton next Saturday night and I'll be dining at their five star restaurant called X if you want to join me. I'll be there at 8)
11) She accepts
12) She says she is excited (I find that women who are going to put out almost exclusively use this exact word)
13) You go MIA for 1-2 days right before the date
14) She sends date reminder (never send a date reminder yourself)
15) She shows up for date (give her a kiss on the cheek when you greet her but don't mess up her makeup or hair)
16) She touches you first during the date (I am hands-off until this milestone occurs)
17) She mirrors you when you are seated at the bar (lean toward her the same angle. Never rotate 90 degrees to face her. Never rotate more than she does)
18) She maintains comfortable contact (example - your knees are touching as you sit together)
19) She kisses you good night
20) MOST IMPORTANT - After the date she sends a text thanking you. Never text her until this happens
21) Even if sex happened, minimize any talk about sex after the date. Remember, she might say she was drunk, and is likely in a different state of mind

i like this guide, nice work man

 

[Reykhel]

She's Eastern European, that in itself is a red flag that she's a potential user...

She wants to go out for dinner next week and wants men to be patient...........signs of a user. I wonder how many other men she's saying this to. Which ones are paying her rent.

The first night wasn't a "date". I'm not sure why you're framing it like that in your head. You went out after a meet up event, it was a continuation
of that event. You may have escalated to something but why believe it was a date.

What people never seem to take into account when it comes to kino/touching are CULTURAL DIFFERENCES. Granted this is an american site so I suppose generally everything is seen through american eyes

What country is this taking place in and is she a resident?

 

[bigneil]

The first night wasn't a "date". I'm not sure why you're framing it like that in your head. You went out after a meet up event, it was a continuation
of that event. You may have escalated to something but why believe it was a date.

Yes, she has to call it a date. Saturday night I was having dinner with a girl who said "I told my friend I had a date" so I clarified "Is it?" and she said "Yes! I told her I was going out with a guy I've had a crush on for months!". There are two answers to the question "Are we dating?" 1) "YES!!!" 2) (anything else means no). So I always clarify but only if they mention it first. This is especially true with strippers. They will laugh at you (at least secretly) if you call it a date and they don't think it's a date (and VIP doesn't count as a date).

Think about it this way: how does she describe you to her best friend?

 

[pyros]

"Two" dates, several rejections...I see...

Well, I would not contact her again, and I would not ask her out again because it is more than likely going nowhere.

Anyway, IF SHE CONTACTS YOU AND SUGGESTS TO MEET, I would go out with her if I really really like her or if I dont have anything else to do.
So, if she does this and you end up going out again...I would not even touch her during the date...and at the end of it when she'll be expecting you to try to kiss her again I would just stare at her and wait. If she gets the message she will kiss you, if she doesnt, I would just say good-bye, and I would certainly not go out with her ever again.

 

[Juanto]

The reason she is doing this covertly (for now) is because she's enjoying your game. It's interesting to her, but she isn't really interested. I have dealt with this before too.

I prefer to deal with women covertly, myself. I would never overtly broach the subject with her, unless she did.

Wasnt this quite overt from her side? She actually wrote "friend" on the text

 

[Juanto]

It's her job to resist you? Lol. Bro her job is to look sexy enough to keep your attention so you are willing to have sex with her. Not to fight off your advances.

I know mate, I was just trying to act cool after she rejected me and not get butthurt. Also said after, I find you very attractive so I will try again later, with a smirk on my face

 

[Juanto]

She's Eastern European, that in itself is a red flag that she's a potential user...

She wants to go out for dinner next week and wants men to be patient...........signs of a user. I wonder how many other men she's saying this to. Which ones are paying her rent.

The first night wasn't a "date". I'm not sure why you're framing it like that in your head. You went out after a meet up event, it was a continuation
of that event. You may have escalated to something but why believe it was a date.

What people never seem to take into account when it comes to kino/touching are CULTURAL DIFFERENCES. Granted this is an american site so I suppose generally everything is seen through american eyes

What country is this taking place in and is she a resident?

Good points Reykhel. Dont know why exactly I framed it as a date the first time, only because we did go after alone for drinks and walk, just felt like a date at the time after some escalation. But having said this, she did reject me on both ocasions, date or no date.

This is taking place in Portugal, and she moved here 2 weeks ago for a year long sabbatical after working 10 years in the UK. She is now staying at a AirBnB place.

 

[daddymonsterpoodle]

So correct me if I am misinterpreting this. I you have only been on one real date with this girl. You held hands and tried to kiss her at the end of the date and got given her cheek instead. Are you both 12?

She is not very interested. Any woman who says she likes patient men is lying. You are friend zoning yourself!
You are also doing a pretty poor job of arousing her interest. Make the next date (if you think it is worth having one) exciting and fun, and not boring drinks again. Don't wait for the end of the night to kiss her. Hell, and at this stage what have you got to lose?

 

[Juanto]

So correct me if I am misinterpreting this. I you have only been on one real date with this girl. You held hands and tried to kiss her at the end of the date and got given her cheek instead. Are you both 12?

She is not very interested. Any woman who says she likes patient men is lying. You are friend zoning yourself!
You are also doing a pretty poor job of arousing her interest. Make the next date (if you think it is worth having one) exciting and fun, and not boring drinks again. Don't wait for the end of the night to kiss her. Hell, and at this stage what have you got to lose?

I didnt wait for the end of the date to kiss her, far from it. I started escalating very soon during both dates (if you consider the 1st one a date).

 

[Reykhel]

Good points Reykhel. Dont know why exactly I framed it as a date the first time, only because we did go after alone for drinks and walk, just felt like a date at the time after some escalation. But having said this, she did reject me on both ocasions, date or no date.

This is taking place in Portugal, and she moved here 2 weeks ago for a year long sabbatical after working 10 years in the UK. She is now staying at a AirBnB place.

Yeah so she'll be looking for a few fellas like you to pay the tab. She'll have a rolodex.

She knows your sniffing and she's keeping you just at arms length...........

Invite her for a bottle of wine at her AIRBnB place or your place............or arrange to meet her for one drink near your
place or near her place.......and have a bottle of wine in a bag with you.....have the drink and tell her you'd bought the
wine on the way, you should go back to hers to sample it.....

If you don't get any play.......then move on