Date with my ex

[Mr_Pink]

Saturday afternoon I've got a date with my ex. She's gonna come over to my house, we're gonna watch the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre, then go eat dinner, and see the new one. Then possibly to a Haunted House afterwards. Here's where my problem is though:

Since we've broken up, she's said how she wants to remain friends. However I want to get back together with her (I dumped her btw), so eventually I can get physical with her. So I figure the best way to show her that I'm intrested in getting back together would be to be flirty when we're together. So since we've got the whole horror movie thing going on, I can do the cliche arm around the back, so good kino stuff, and while in the car bring up sex and such. Just put a flirty vibe on things (which would be good, since while we were dating I wasn't flirty at all, so it would show my intent), while still leaving things friendly enough.

However, come the end of the date is where I've got my confliction. I could go for the kiss close, but that may be too much too soon. So, I was thinking of just telling her that I want to give things a second shot. How would you DJs suggest I close this date??

Oh, and since I know someone will say it, no my ex is not my only prospect at the moment. However she is the one I'm most intrested in, since the breakup wasn't something I wanted to go through with in the first place, but felt like I had too...

-Mr. Pink

 

[elvis aint dead yet]

Biggest question i have and you should also have is,


WHY DID YOU BREAK UP WITH HER IN THE FIRST PLACE?


If there was a legit reason, do not overlook that fact. It's usually a reason that causes a more disasterous second breakup.

 

[Mr_Pink]

The first break-up was a culmination of a bunch of tiny things that we should have dealt with but never did. Her wanting to go to Homecoming with her friends, then spending only a couple of minutes with me at the dance was the final thing.

However, it only got bad because we didn't talk about these problems. If we would have, we would still be together. And the break-up was more of a temporary thing. We decided to take some time apart then approach things anew to allow for this stuff between us to get better. She was crying a ton during the "break-up" conversation, so I figure it upset her a lot. So possibly this is her wanting to give things a second shot too??

-Mr. Pink

 

[Julian]

If you dont get any punani from her on saturday kick her to the curb. Thats a pretty big date your having.

 

[elvis aint dead yet]

Well i can't tell you what to do, so if you want to give it a second chance and she does, then by all means, go for it.


However, in my experience, those small little things, usually turn into large out of control things later on.

As they say, that corney thing she used to do when you first met her turns into an annoying nuicance later on.

Just watch out...

Too many people get back together too quickly and wind up either a-stuck with a kid not long after getting back together or
b-miserable together but stay together and try to make it
work again.

 

[Mr_Pink]

I never had sex with her the first time, so there's no way I'm getting any Saturday....

 

[elvis aint dead yet]

How old are you and how long where you two together?

Maybe i'm gonna sound like an A-hole, but i'm sorry, there is no way in HELL i'd get back together with some chic after we broke up if we didnt have sex the first time around, whats the point?

If it didnt work the first time and you got NO SEX OUT OF IT, why try a second time stuck with blue balls?

 

[Mr_Pink]

I'm 17, she's 18. We dated for 2 months. We didn't do anything physical since her last bf forced her into having it with him, and immediately dumped her, so she's shy about sex now. Can't blame her either....

 

[elvis aint dead yet]

Sorry to sound mean, but most girls claiim, "MY EX FORCED ME, i didn't want to" because most girls don't want to sound like sluts.

I'm sorry, but if she's 18 and your 17 and you went out for two months, why even bother trying to get back together.

It was too short a time to really get too close, and if you two never really hooked up, she's either got real problems or just using you as a tampon.

 

[Mr_Pink]

No, I know that this guy forced her into it. I had been real close friends with this girl for a year before we dated, and when it happened she came to me because she felt like she had been raped. We are real close, the 2 month thing is besides the point.

 

[elvis aint dead yet]

she came to you first after what happened?

And you say you've only known her for a year or so,

are you not her tampon friend? When crap goes on in her life, she comes running to you?

Then when you go out with her, she doesn't even hook up with you?

I just think it sounds like she's using you, thats all.

 

[Mr_Pink]

Well, you're entitled to your own opinion, but you havn't really helped answer the question. How to close the date???

 

[DJStudent]

Ex should be left in the past. You guys broke up for several reasons, getting back together would mean the problems are still there. I would never waste my time on my ex-girlfriends. If they just wanted to chat, I don't mind being respectful. But if they want to go out with me, I have better things to do than get back into the same **** I got out of.

 

[Mr_Pink]

Anyone actually care to answer the question??

 

[elvis aint dead yet]

simple.

If you went out with her for two months, have known her for over a year, and yet, you stilll have not hooked up with her, what makes you think your going to hook up with her this weekend or any other weekend?


Go out, have fun, but don't expect anything from her.

 

[Cremasta]

G'day Pink,

I'm sure you'll get enough people saying forget her and I think I might have been one of them, but I'll leave that for now hey?

Anyway, if this girl wasn't still feeling something for you... if you had hurt her that badly, then she wouldn't have agreed to meet up with you. There is most likely still something there on her part.

The only thing I can suggest is to not wait until the end of the date to kiss her. Do it sometime during the date. In fact do it right at the very start when you first meet her. Walk up to her, give her a big hug and kiss her right there. I don't know about others, but to be honest that has always made things a lot easier later on in the date for me. It doesn't have to be a big tonguey, just a light peck on the cheek (or the lips depending on how brave you are feeling).
Try to talk to her a bit during the movie, get your face real close to her (because you don't want to disturb others with your loud talking of course!). If there is tension there, she will feel it too and reciprocate a lot better than that awkward 'end of date' kiss.

Don't talk to her about getting back together yet, look at this as a bit of an interview. Wait till later and you've had a chance to think about things. Do that at another time if and when you get some real buying signals from her.

 

[R6rcr]

I agree with Elvis here.
It sounds like this chick sees you as a friend more then anything else. I would not expect anything from her. Just go out and have a good time. Let her make a move, but show her though your actions thats what you want. Also i think you are to nice maybe that is why you never hit it in the first place.

 

[Revlis]

Mr_Pink, try a little subtle kino during the "date" and watch her reactions. You basically have to find out where she's coming from during the day by doing little tests. If she seems to enjoy a little touch then do something a little friendlier later on.

To me I think she sees you as a friend and is hoping that on Saturday you're going to prove that to her by spending some friendly time with her.

Good luck, protect your heart!

 

[Mr_Pink]

Thanks for actually answering the question. I hung out with her for a bit after school today, and our plans have changed. Instead of it being a solo thing, she's gonna invite a bunch of her friends that I don't know, and I'm gonna do the same with her. So, instead of focussing on her, I'm gonna see if I can get some work done with her friends. See how that goes.

-Mr. Pink

 

[TesuqueRed]

She decided to bring friends--??? She's guaranteeing this is a LJBF date.

This may be an issue of semantics, but it's her job to flirt with you, not yours. I'd suggest you be fun and lively, provide stimulation, lead, use kino, etc., and end the date earlier than you want and do it on a high note. Leave her wanting more.

Now that she's changed the dynamics here, I suppose you can be friendly with her, but show attention to other women there and see if she tries to compete for your attention. ---not sure about this idea, other DJs will probably be able to advise you better on this than I can. It's using a blend of social proof and jealousy, I suppose...by all means, don't play for her attention or look hurt about the date being hijacked (which is what she did--it was your date, and now she's taken lead.)