Date with a lawyer tomorrow!!

[Mr. Me]

MNIN, here is why she bailed..

All she wanted was sex from you and not a relationship

If all she wanted was just a ONS, probably never to see him again after that, why would she concern herself with the names in his cell of what other women he might be seeing?

It would only be a concern if she was looking not to get played. You don't need that for a ONS to happen.

Did you go on the date with him or are you the HB8 lawyer? I'm just curious, because you talk like you were present for this entire date.

Dear Curious, Just like a detective never needs to be a witness at the scene of the crime when it was committed, neither do I need to be present in order to put the puzzle together.

I did earlier post that I felt MNIN had made an improvement over his last time, but now I'm not so sure. It seems to me he repeats the same pattern:

1. Get very excited about a new prospect;
2. Sees small, seemingly positive movements in a very magnified way;
3. Ignores flags he sees;
4. Isn't aware of other flags;
5. Doesn't handle the flags appropriately;
6. Is cognizant of some of his actions that work against him, but discounts their impact;
7. Gets dumped.
8. Wants to keep in contact regardless and keep it going;
9. Then excuses away the end result with labeling the woman and blaming her and claiming he was never that interested anyhow (to the contrary of his intial posts of enthusiasm over the new gal);
10. And then wants to know how to still get a response out of her and beat a dead horse.

So in that regard, this is the same old, same old. No change, no improvement.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

Here is my critical analysis of things he should improve:

1)He put a woman he picked from an internet dating site or message board in a pedestal. I don’t care if she is a lawyer or a Congress Lady…she came from the internet. He did not meet her in a Conference and he did not meet her in a board of directors or the Metro Station or the bus station. But that’s not the problem, the actual problem is that he devaluated himself by adding too much value for her. Women can read body language a LOT better than men. In fact, he still thinks she is “out of his league”.

2)He made a statement that implied sexual inexperience. Even if he is joking…calling himself virgin is NOT a turn on. If you don’t sleep with her the first night…at the very least you want her to fantasize about what you are going to do to her in a sexual matter. Trust me…thinking of a man that is awkward and inexperience in bed is NOT sexy.

3)He should have not allowed her to drive his vehicle (a clear indication she picked the place for dinner and consequently put her in a position of better controlling the environment).

4)He was not clear what he wanted from the first date.


He did some good things too:

1)He managed to get her trust to the point that she allowed him in her place.
2)She paid for the meal. He lost no $$$...
3)He and she made out. That is a clear indication she had some level of attraction.

She didn't drive my vehicle. She drove hers. The virgin thing was a huge mistake, she believed it and I meant it as a joke. I read about saying you are a "virgin" on here, just to play around. But when she believed it, I didn't know what to do. So I downplayed it and she thinks I didn't get laid for over a year. I froze and didn't know what to say to correct the joke.

 

[iqqi]

She didn't drive my vehicle. She drove hers. The virgin thing was a huge mistake, she believed it and I meant it as a joke. I read about saying you are a "virgin" on here. But when she believed it, I didn't know what to do. So I downplayed it and she thinks I didn't get laid for over a year. I froze and didn't know what to say to correct the joke.

I think that is ok, because if the joke went over head, that isn't your fault at all. So don't take that too hard, it wasn't YOU, it may have been your delivery, but most likely she just didn't get it. Maybe she is a tad uptight in real life.

Mr. me said: If all she wanted was just a ONS, probably never to see him again after that, why would she concern herself with the names in his cell of what other women he might be seeing?

It would only be a concern if she was looking not to get played. You don't need that for a ONS to happen.

I don't know... because she was just BUSTING HIS B@LLS??? .

 

[My Name is Nobody]

Did I mention what her former occupation was?

Interrogator for the US military. Fun.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

Not too often but once every couple of days, I find LMS hits it perfectly on the head. This is exactly the case in this scenario. I think LMS summarized the situation 100% correctly.

As for MNIN, I was originally going to give him a B+ for making progress as well. He started off putting her on a pedastool because of her job, but he didn't get hung up on her. However I noticed 2 things, first is he still has some self esteem issues. Maybe its because its something that I'm picking up on lately. But what I find is that he's trying to compensate, now that its over, he acts like she is the bottom of the earth



Its like its his way of making himself feel better after it didn't work out. Its a common rookie mistake.

The second thing is obvious and its the reason why it appears he progressed. The reason he hasn't been obsessed with the other girl that he dated for a week or two, and the lawyer girl, is because his feelings are still tied up to NYE girl.

MNIN, you need to deal with those feelings and put them to rest (in the graveyard by grieving and moving on) before you can enter another relationship and expect it to work out. They will haunt you and every relationship until you deal with them. You will not be able to move forward in life until you do so.

I've been in your boat and I carried those feelings around for years, until I realized that, thats what was holding me back. However your lucky, you've got the knowledge and the support here to help you over come this quicker.

You can do it, it just takes self reflection. Its up to you how your life proceeds, what you going to do about her thoughts in your head?

Hey MacAvoy even though you called me a troll, that was a great post. I feel like I'm talking to a shrink... you analyzed the situation very well... I mean the part about NYE girl.

 

[MacAvoy]

The only reason I called you a troll was because I jumped to conclusions too quickly in that case, you behaviour exibited the exact same traits of a troll, and I was frustrated myself with the forum and took it out on you.

For that I apologize and it was for that reason, that I had the mods delete the thread shortly after I made it. Its also the reason why I've piped in now and again on your threads. You are making progress but like myself and others have mentioned, you've got some underlying issues that keep rearing their ugly head.

But we all do. I still have issues that cause me to repeat certain behaviour. What it comes down to though is effective management, I've learned to manage most of my negative traits, to where I take the enjoyment from the negative ones that I choose to allow out, and minimize the impact of others that tend to get out of control.

I personally enjoy my warped sense of the world, maybe its rationalization on my part but I'm happy with who I am and what I do so I don't care what anyone thinks of my jadedness, because I know I'm happy and for the most part, I'm a good person.

But as it relates to you, you've got to really sit down and do some heavy self reflection and its not something that happens over night, it comes through education and time. I'm not one to be big on promoting self help crap but I've always been interested in psychology, I've read books just for kicks on the subjects, I try to maximize my potential and what I can achieve, however at other times, I throw that all out the window and just enjoy the other aspects of life.

Its about finding a balance that your happy with. The balance that makes me happy, won't be the same for you. Its something that you have to come to grips with.

 

[iqqi]

I am so impressed with mac so far today.

 

[MacAvoy]

I am so impressed with mac so far today.

Does that mean your going to give me that BJ that you promised me via PM?


lol j/k, I can say the same for you today. I was actually quoting you earlier this morning in a different thread and agreed with several other of your posts. I like to think its because your not being your usual adversial self and are actually giving great advice. (I have on my rose colored glasses).

 

[iqqi]

Does that mean your going to give me that BJ that you promised me via PM?


lol j/k, I can say the same for you today. I was actually quoting you earlier this morning in a different thread and agreed with several other of your posts. I like to think its because your not being your usual adversial self and are actually giving great advice. (I have on my rose colored glasses).

AND you are being very honest too! With yourself! Kudos. I haven't decided what post to give rep points to just yet.

You missed the monthly flaming old boys vs iqqster thread a couple nights ago. its the locked one on this page.

 

[Last Man Standing]

If all she wanted was just a ONS, probably never to see him again after that, why would she concern herself with the names in his cell of what other women he might be seeing?

It would only be a concern if she was looking not to get played. You don't need that for a ONS to happen..

This may have been before he said he doesn't have sex on the first date -- see my previous post. Also because of this...

Did I mention what her former occupation was?

Interrogator for the US military. Fun.

Ok, confirms my previous post! She is super-masculine and with your statement you were less than masculine! She needs a Super-Super-Super masculine male to balance her masculinity likeness!!

Not too often but once every couple of days, I find LMS hits it perfectly on the head. This is exactly the case in this scenario. I think LMS summarized the situation 100% correctly.

I'm always right kid - Always!!!

 

[MacAvoy]

You missed the monthly flaming old boys vs iqqster thread a couple nights ago. its the locked one on this page.

So ... translating your w0manese ... you had your PMS session and now your ready to play nice? :cheer:

 

[jophil28]

The virgin thing was a huge mistake, she believed it and I meant it as a joke. I read about saying you are a "virgin" on here, just to play around. But when she believed it, I didn't know what to do.

This is the problem of learning and reciting wiseass "lines" that you pick up here or from the gurus . The context and SETTING needs to be just right when you say them and that takes skill and practice.

Saying that you are a "virgin" at your age (27) was clumsy because it MIGHT have been true in her mind.

A guy my age can say that stuff knowing that it will come off as C&F .

 

[Tazman]

You missed the monthly flaming old boys vs iqqster thread a couple nights ago. its the locked one on this page.

lol, I bet you enjoy every minute of it too. I also find it amusing that you bait the same group of people over and over again, but they can't resist responding so you ultimately get what you want anyway. I actually enjoy your presence here because you are a definitive example of what we deal with everyday, it keeps the senses sharp!

 

[ketostix]

lol, I bet you enjoy every minute of it too. I also find it amusing that you bait the same group of people over and over again, but they can't resist responding so you ultimately get what you want anyway. I actually enjoy your presence here because you are a definitive example of what we deal with everyday, it keeps the senses sharp!

The only problem besides her intentionally being annoying is iqqi actually believes the AFC/matrix "advice" she gives, and worst of all some guys actually believe it too. She was totally leading MNIN wrong in this thread, but I think he got wise to it. If no one pointed out just some of the errors in her advice (there's so many it'd be impossible to address them all) then who knows how many people she'd be influencing and leading astray.

 

[MacAvoy]

The only problem besides her intentionally being annoying is iqqi actually believes the AFC/matrix "advice" she gives, and worst of all some guys actually believe it too. She was totally leading MNIN wrong in this thread, but I think he got wise to it. If no one pointed out just some of the errors in her advice (there's so many it'd be impossible to address them all) then who knows how many people she'd be influencing and leading astray.

If what you say is true, then the AFC's get what they deserve for listening to the advice from a women.

 

[ketostix]

If what you say is true, then the AFC's get what they deserve for listening to the advice from a women.

But that's the key. Iqqi uses wyldfire's claim that, "people disagree with me just because I'm a woman." That's not the only reason but that alone is reason enough.

 

[MacAvoy]

My point is, she wouldn't have the recognition around here if everyone didn't constantly get into a p1ssing match with her.

 

[iqqi]

iqqi iqqi iqqi damn that's my name don't wear it out.















Anyways, there were other MALE posters that were in agreement with me about most things.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I forgot what we were talking about.

 

[MacAvoy]

I forgot what we were talking about.

One legged hor's!