Date went well until.. we got outside and she saw my car then it went south quick

[pete101]

Wait a minute, you're saying she's a gold digger because she wanted to go eat some pizza?

Never said she was a gold digger per se

She makes good money Def more than me prob I would say £60-80k/yr given where she lives and places she goes to i know her profession they pay well def nothing under £50k at her age of 29 her rent per month is like £2k

Just she was asking me a lot of questions and kept asking tryna fish for info about best places for x y z knowing full well she wont see me again so trying to extract as much info from me as possible

 

[pete101]

The *best* pizza joint, the best restaurants, best cars, etc OP's girl was a status hound

Yeah exactly but again she makes good money herself much more than me lives in richest part of town but pays for it herself she is in finance so earns very well not just some PA

 

[pete101]

Why did you even mention your car before the date? If she asked you you should’ve ejected or taken the queue and taken Uber. You shot yourself in the foot showing you were insecure about your wheels even before meeting her.

I thought naively telling her what it was in advance would help when she saw it i even explained to her why because i cant be having some luxury car as clients wont like the idea they are funding my lavish lifestyle so i need something neutral but you're right it comes across insecure and i need to uber it from now on

 

[pete101]

You tried to bat above your average,annd struck out - unless you have something she wants that she cannot get elsewhere you’re facked - know your audience, play to your strengths, don’t overshoot.

Can you leverage knowledge, information expertise in your favour to level up?

I have so many things she wants to know and learn hence her tryna keep me round for the friend zone + tryna extract as much info as possible in the car knowing she prob wasnt gona see me again

Not for her i mean in future can i use this to my advantage some how esp if they are sapiosexuals?

I feel i just get used for information, maybe i need to make them work harder for this info like what's in it for me

 

[pete101]

I think the fact that she cut the date short was a sign that she wasn't really interested. You chose a bad venue for your date, you don't want to sit with other people at a big table, you want to be isolated a bit and sit next to her, not face to face, it's important.

She looked a bit materialistic and high maintenance but we don't know her well enough to say she is this or that. If she was materialistic, then good riddance.

I used to drive a beat up Mitsubishi Lancer 2003, didnt have a 6 pack and I had no problem getting laid, Im now living in a University dormitory, I dont have much money but I bang the hottest girl of the university, no doubt. If you're insecure about the type of car you drive or your flat or bank account women will feel it, but if you consider that these things are not very important (of course having some money is important) then you will impose your frame and reality and women wont care at all, the ones who do care, you drop them.

Good luck!

Yeah if i were to do it again i would choose a diff place to sit side by side

The place was candle lit, it essentially was a more expensive coffee date without coffee, i go places for decor and ambiance as creates better atmosphere for kino'ing and kiss closing

I chose this place because i knew she was high maintenance and def wouldnt accept a coffee date but i didnt want to take her for drinks because she wouldnt go to some pub she would expect a nice bar

This was a trick way of me making her think it was a nice place but a cheap date with her none the wiser

Yeah cutting the date short was def a sign so i have to think how could i have done better prior to that i def talked too much about myself my goals for the next 2 years didnt ask her enough about herself

I feel nervous in these situations talk too much overcompensating mainly cos i dont know what to talk about still that helps me move it in the direction i want

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

"My car? Yes, I know it looks like nothing, that's the idea. I need to blend in, not stand out. In my profession, that could be the difference between life and... you know?"

 

[BeExcellent]

Can you leverage knowledge, information expertise in your favour to level up?

I have so many things she wants to know and learn hence her tryna keep me round for the friend zone + tryna extract as much info as possible in the car knowing she prob wasnt gona see me again

Not for her i mean in future can i use this to my advantage some how esp if they are sapiosexuals?

I feel i just get used for information, maybe i need to make them work harder for this info like what's in it for me

Advice from the old lady:

There is something to “class”. Having myself grown up in an affluent area around affluent people I’m here to tell you it can matter. My family did not prioritize status, and honestly I didn’t in my younger years and don’t now, but I am cognizant of it, because I’d say it matters to the vast majority of women. And I’m certainly aware of it whilst negotiating social environs.

My best gf grew up in the country club lifestyle. Her first husband was also from a country club lifestyle family, they married and had the country club lifestyle together. Except he became a raging alcoholic she couldn’t be seen in public with and he became an embarrassment to the family, the kids and other things. She is now engaged to (surprise) a wealthy gregarious man who is a scratch golfer and they enjoy (surprise) the country club lifestyle. He came up hard scrabble but made it, and even he wrestles with feeling inadequate at times because he didn’t grow up privileged. She adores him, supports him & loves him no doubt, but her standard included a country club life type man. She actually appreciates where he came from because he had to succeed through his brains, wits and abilities rather than having the advantage of family influence.

And she’s 110 lbs beautiful blond with a sharp mind great figure and fun personality, so she had enough value to be choosy like that.

This girl out earns you, lives in a nicer area than you and probably understands matters of class and taste better than you. How is she going to submit to your leadership if her life demonstrates higher success than yours? She assumes she knows more than you. Can you blame her?

How are you going to support her during pregnancy and early young child rearing years? Yes, this is something young women looking toward motherhood all evaluate very early on. There is no need to continue if you don’t meet whatever standard she has. Accept that and move on.

My father was concerned many years ago when I was dating my first husband precisely because I out earned him. It was his only concern as a caring father. In the end his concern was legitimate. I was more capable at life than my first husband, all things considered.

Even now I substantially out earn my second husband. Our garage looks like the odd couple, his 21 year old Honda sedan and my late model exotic worth 6 figures even though several years old. And I don’t take advice from him on business or child rearing since I have the life experience in those areas, not him. So we have an agreement essentially to stay in our lanes relative to life before meeting. Not every relationship can survive that sort of thing.

The only way you level up is improve yourself and your results in life. The world at large judges you on your results and categorize you accordingly. Women also do this. It’s not a gold digger thing. She wants a man at least as accomplished as she is and that is frankly not unreasonable.

 

[Reincarnated]

My 09 Gray Civic (which is now sadly starting to show rust) has never hindered my ability with a gal, although if this somehow were a problem, I'd immediately know I've found a loser of a girl.

The truth is half the guys driving "nice" cars (think base model new BMW or Audi) probably have a vehicle that is worth more than the value of their investment/retirement accounts. Unfortunately many of the most important indicators cent br seen with the eye.

 

[manfrombelow]

OP,

The fact she initiated cutting the date short prior to seeing your ride was an obvious sign that she, for whatever reasons, was not romantically and sexually into you. She didn't BUY who you were as a potential male first, your ride, if it was really that bad (I doubt it), only confirmed what she found as unattrative about yourself.

It's the most crucial thing here that you must accept and swallow, instead of blaming it on your car, in order to go further and refine your Game better.

 

[manfrombelow]

It is difficult to kino from across a table so cant escalate (maybe only go places can sit side by side)

I feel like im coming across too nervous and unconfident and compensating trying to be c+f which is not congruent so they feel.something is off

Bad logistics is ALWAYS the man's fault, at least in the initial days of the courtship.

Next time (and with next women of course), make sure to pick a venue that you're able to sit side-by-side with her to make kino happen when needed. Don't let this one failure (as miserable as it seemed) falter your journey.

Remember, whenever a DJ shows up a layed pvssy, it means he's failed at least 5 others. There's always "survivor bias" in all these stories being told here.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Advice from the old lady:

There is something to “class”. Having myself grown up in an affluent area around affluent people I’m here to tell you it can matter. My family did not prioritize status, and honestly I didn’t in my younger years and don’t now, but I am cognizant of it, because I’d say it matters to the vast majority of women. And I’m certainly aware of it whilst negotiating social environs.

My best gf grew up in the country club lifestyle. Her first husband was also from a country club lifestyle family, they married and had the country club lifestyle together. Except he became a raging alcoholic she couldn’t be seen in public with and he became an embarrassment to the family, the kids and other things. She is now engaged to (surprise) a wealthy gregarious man who is a scratch golfer and they enjoy (surprise) the country club lifestyle. He came up hard scrabble but made it, and even he wrestles with feeling inadequate at times because he didn’t grow up privileged. She adores him, supports him & loves him no doubt, but her standard included a country club life type man. She actually appreciates where he came from because he had to succeed through his brains, wits and abilities rather than having the advantage of family influence.

And she’s 110 lbs beautiful blond with a sharp mind great figure and fun personality, so she had enough value to be choosy like that.

This girl out earns you, lives in a nicer area than you and probably understands matters of class and taste better than you. How is she going to submit to your leadership if her life demonstrates higher success than yours? She assumes she knows more than you. Can you blame her?

How are you going to support her during pregnancy and early young child rearing years? Yes, this is something young women looking toward motherhood all evaluate very early on. There is no need to continue if you don’t meet whatever standard she has. Accept that and move on.

My father was concerned many years ago when I was dating my first husband precisely because I out earned him. It was his only concern as a caring father. In the end his concern was legitimate. I was more capable at life than my first husband, all things considered.

Even now I substantially out earn my second husband. Our garage looks like the odd couple, his 21 year old Honda sedan and my late model exotic worth 6 figures even though several years old. And I don’t take advice from him on business or child rearing since I have the life experience in those areas, not him. So we have an agreement essentially to stay in our lanes relative to life before meeting. Not every relationship can survive that sort of thing.

The only way you level up is improve yourself and your results in life. The world at large judges you on your results and categorize you accordingly. Women also do this. It’s not a gold digger thing. She wants a man at least as accomplished as she is and that is frankly not unreasonable.

But do you share a checking account that your earnings are auto deposited into?

 

[Learning Curve]

I went just now on what i thought was a really good date

Interest from the start IOI's laughing at my jokes

Yeah i could have done things bit better maybe used better topics but overall it was good from my pov

My only thought was she cut the date short cos it was getting late and she has work tomorrow so fair enough

I offered her a lift home she accepted, but when she saw my car the look on her face told me what i didn't want to know.. look of dismay and disappointment

What is weird is i even told her what car i drove cos i cant have a nice car when visiting clients as it looks like im spending all their money funding my luxury lifestyle

The only thing that i thought was a bit off was when i suggested books she should read she wrote it down on her phone even though i said i would tell her later - maybe i missed the signs early she wasnt interested.

I kino'd she complied it is hard to do proper kino when they are sitting opposite you on a table

The convo in the car was ok but i noticed she was asking me questions for information about stuff like i know where the best pizza place is in town and other food and when i said we'll go there some time she didnt acknowledge what i said but still asked where places were that rang alarm bells

Normally you would think gold digger superficial snob, she earns well herself and lives in an expensive part of town i was even thinking when i drove there if the date ends should i give her a lift home or walk her to the train station even though it is freezing -2C right now

She messages me an hour after i dropped her thanking me for tonight but she doesnt feel a romantic connection and would like to be friends and how does that sound

Lol no chance. Im not even responding.

Essentially what i did is what some multii millionaires do to test women to see if they are genuinely into them or care about materialistic things or lifestyle

She can afford to go expensive places she earns well enough just i feel a bit bad about all of this like not being worthy enough but again i see her POV if she is accustomed to a certain lifestyle and everything that goes with it then she isn't going to be seen with a relative pauper (even though things are going well for me)

Am i wrong to feel this way? Cos i see her perspective but at the same time this makes me not trust women as i feel quite jaded and bitter about this whole scenario

Yep dodge a bullet.

You should be happy and thankful.

But i don't understand what you mean by saying "i can't drive a luxury car because my clients will think i use their money to fund my luxury lifestyle"

If you own a business and you make money and you offer a service or something of a value why you care what your clients think or anyone thinks?

Go buy what ever you want to buy if you think you deserve it and stop running your life depended on what other people think.

 

[manfrombelow]

Yep dodge a bullet.

You should be happy and thankful.

But i don't understand what you mean by saying "i can't drive a luxury car because my clients will think i use their money to fund my luxury lifestyle"

If you own a business and you make money and you offer a service or something of a value why you care what your clients think or anyone thinks?

Go buy what ever you want to buy if you think you deserve it and stop running your life depended on what other people think.

No need to split hair.

None of us was present at OP's date with the chick.

But, the fact she was the one that cut the date short communicates that OP simply failed at seducing her, sexually and romantically. Because women who are into you sexually and romantically don't cut dates short, because they don't want to risk losing you.

Sometimes our ego makes it hard for us to accept that someone doesn't find us attractive enough. But it's life. It's an unreasonable and unrealistic desire to expect every-single-one you're going on dates with will fall for you and want to fvck you eventually.

 

[BeExcellent]

But do you share a checking account that your earnings are auto deposited into?

Haha. Ya, no.

 

[The Duke]

Even now I substantially out earn my second husband. Our garage looks like the odd couple, his 21 year old Honda sedan and my late model exotic worth 6 figures even though several years old.

I am assuming he was driving the same old Honda when you two first started dating. Did that alter your impression of him in the early stages?

And your husband is smarter when it comes to cars! ;-)

 

[The Duke]

Yep dodge a bullet.

You should be happy and thankful.

But i don't understand what you mean by saying "i can't drive a luxury car because my clients will think i use their money to fund my luxury lifestyle"

If you own a business and you make money and you offer a service or something of a value why you care what your clients think or anyone thinks?

Go buy what ever you want to buy if you think you deserve it and stop running your life depended on what other people think.

Because it creates a powerful impression that you will be negatively judged by. You don't want to create the perception that you have more than they do. Its not good for the financial end of your business. They will automatically start thinking you are charging too much for your services.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Haha. Ya, no.

Many people would consider that a lack of trust and intimacy. Jus’sayin

 

[Dr.Suave]

Many people would consider that a lack of trust and intimacy. Jus’sayin

I guess you got her there. Let see how our dear local Queen Bee @BeExcellent Spins this one.

 

[The Duke]

I get what you’re saying, but why do you think realtors drive nice cars?

Most realtors are fakes. All pretending to be someone they aren't. I wouldn't call any of them businessmen/women either.

Own a business sometime and everyone will think you are loaded and rolling in cash.

 

[BeExcellent]

I am assuming he was driving the same old Honda when you two first started dating. Did that alter your impression of him in the early stages?

And your husband is smarter when it comes to cars! ;-)

Yes he was driving the same Honda when I met him. He’s happy with that car, it’s super reliable, inexpensive to maintain, meticulously clean & well kept, and he put a killer sound system in it (sound system worth almost what the car is worth, lol.) Slightly ghetto vibe there, lol.

I didn’t care about the car so much as the neatness and cleanliness of it. My lawyer dad always drove cars till they croaked and my pickup for my rentals is a GMC Sierra crew cab with 300K miles on it now and it’s still perfectly serviceable. I’ve had it since 2010. So I’ve never been a chick hung up on cars as status symbols, I drive one, yes. But I have it because I like the luxury & the performance of it. But it’s stupid expensive to own. My husband makes fun of me for that but he likes to drive it too once in awhile. For 2 years he was scared of it and being responsible for it, lol.