Date Cancelled, need advice.

[dannyboy]

Hello all,
I have been on about 6 dates with this girl (marriage material).
She invited me to her birthday and met her friends, etc. She says she enjoys my company and I believe her. But she plays to many games. Last night she cancelled for the second time but counteroffered for lunch the next day. I said i'll let her know, still ha I have not called back and do not plan to. Any advice on how to proceed. I still have not even kissed her. Don't make fun I have had opportunities but did not take em. She is a "RUlES GIRL" but I don't mind because I enjoy the game. Help me to take more control with ease. Thanks in advance my fellow DJ's

PS she say's she likes nerds and she does not like arrogant guys but I,m sure she does not even know what attracts her.

 

[Starman]

hahahahah so she is saying you are a nerd?

There are such things as arrogant nerds..like bill gates, university professors, master chess players, etc..

If she counteroffered..thats a good sign..dont wait too long to respond to a counteroffer..because then she will have to counteroffer your counteroffer..in order to be on top..

Im not sure if you have read the rules..but it says something like never accept a mans first invitation..or let him call you..never call him blah blah

so if she is a rules girl..she basically wants you to pursue her..

but women who tend to follow the rules tend to wind up with the AFC behavior guys..then they get bored

 

[Disco]

6 Dates and no kiss. How do you know your not headed for the FZ? I had a friend that hung out with this girl that he liked for 5 months. They appeared to me as friends and in her eyes they were. I hung out with her twice and bagged her. He got pissed but learned a valuable leason about being a take charge guy. You have to do something with her physically soon. Her canceling on you is a sign.

 

[dannyboy]

Not to toot my own horn but I know that i'm very good looking and i have a good job $300K + yr went to NYU and drive a 2003 996 turbo and I still have a shyness problem dude I think it's becuase I was addicted too percocet and vicodin for 2 years and recently stopped.

 

[ASav]

Originally posted by dannyboy
Hello all,
I have been on about 6 dates with this girl (marriage material).
She invited me to her birthday and met her friends, etc. She says she enjoys my company and I believe her. But she plays to many games. Last night she cancelled for the second time but counteroffered for lunch the next day. I said i'll let her know, still ha I have not called back and do not plan to. Any advice on how to proceed. I still have not even kissed her. Don't make fun I have had opportunities but did not take em. She is a "RUlES GIRL" but I don't mind because I enjoy the game. Help me to take more control with ease. Thanks in advance my fellow DJ's

PS she say's she likes nerds and she does not like arrogant guys but I,m sure she does not even know what attracts her.

Rules girl. So she's saying that her parents run her life and no guys that she is attracted to (arrogant) are willing to put up with the **** she has to deal with.

Sorry to hear this. You must tell her that you are not a rules guy. The only rules you follow are created by your heart. That should get you in there a little quicker

Just kidding dude. Obviously she's not interested in sexing you up at this time. If that's all you are interested in then its better to NEXT her than to continue with the nonsense.

 

[vegajed]

6 dates, no kisses yet and you are saying marriage material???

VJ

 

[Disco]

I had the same problem about a year ago from an addiction to a stronger more socible substance. Good Luck buddy.

 

[stormwriter]

Is her name Melissa by chance??? haha.

Sounds just like a situation i was in, with her playing some mild games and being a Rules girl. This girl told me how and why she became a Rules girl. Usually they don't admit it.

OK, you better ASAP capitalize on ATTRACTION if its there. Six dates is going preeeeeeeeety damn far without getting physical, and i'm sure you know this. I respected the Melissa girl i was with, cause she was LTR material, so that meant i kept my hands off her. It just frustrated her, cause they WILL NOT make the moves, and even though they WANT YOU TOO, they won't give you any indication. F**King Rules girls.... argh.
In my case, this girl was so passive -aggressive about it that she went to the bathroom, and came out in her underwear, and sat on the couch and watched TV. Didn't give me any hint, or didn't pounce on me. I just thought she was too hot, so she took off her clothes. (She lately told me "COMING OUT IN MY UNDERWEAR WAS THE HINT, YOU IDIOT!") But i digress....

I'm worried that you are establishing a precedence of friendship, and not being, for lack of a better word - A MAN.

Goddam Starman, you are DEAD ON:
"but women who tend to follow the rules tend to wind up with the AFC behavior guys..then they get bored"

That's exactly what happened to me with the Rules girl.

So, Dannyboy, you are still in the game, but you BETTER START PICKING UP YOUR GAME, cause you got the FIRST SIGN of a chick with a lowered Interest Level.

 

[Ofus]

WHY haven't you kissed her yet???? WHY!?!??

I usually lose interest in a girl after like 1-2 dates if I don't get at least a kiss.

KISS HER ALREADY!!!

In fact, you need to make up for lost time. You're way behind bro. You need to take it as far as you possibly can (i.e. keep advancing physically with her as long as she's letting you, don't FORCE anything)

Good luck, and may the schwartz be with you!

 

[Quick]

You don't know if a girl is marriage material after 6 dates. You've just found nothing to disqualify her yet. Especially when she's a Rules girl, and especially when you haven't gotten sexual at all yet.


In order to have control, you need to be able to say "no" more than she is. "The one who cares the least (or feels less pressure) wins". You also have to be willing to walk away from her if she's not getting with your program. If you're not willing to walk away you have no control. And as far as your money and car, that just means you're a bigger catch and you have more leverage. So DON'T LET HER DICTATE THE PACE OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP. Control would be defined as doing what you want to do. Unless paying for 6 dates without so much as a kiss is part of your plan, you're not playing a game, you're getting played.

If you think she's changing the dates for no reason (that IS one of the rules), then you need to start declining her counteroffers without making one of your own. Say "sorry, I can't make it that day" and then hang up soon after. Call her up the next week and offer for a specific date. If she changes it again, you decline her counteroffer, tell her that's the only time you're free, and hang up again. Send the message that either we go out when I want or we don't go out at all. You then have the power again and she'll think more than twice before turning down a date with you if her IL is truly high.

 

[dannyboy]

Thanks for the replies

 

[DJMaC23]

What kind of job do you have that you make $300,000+?

 

[dannyboy]

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