Dark side of sleeping with a lot of women

[Scaramouche]

Dear Solomen,
You have provoked a lot of interesting responses,all of which suggest to me,that we are in an interesting social stage of development,which is a Male driven response to State involvement with relationships and computor driven changes to response times in human interractions.....The present reality is serial Monogamy.....The Pill,and anti biotic responses to STD's in the Sixties spawned this....In the near future,there will be an even looser form of relationships....The next great change will come when Medical Science has made some similar Quantum leap in response to the new resistant forms of STD's...this will be exacerbated by an increase in our life span as we conquer such scourges as Cancer,Diabetes and even obesity...Still remember What the Mans poet Kipling wrote 130 years ago,"The More he has known of the others,the less will he settle for one".

 

[Solomon]

nice

Wear a condom...that will protect you from MOST stuff. I know it may not be "cool", but do it until you're with a tested and trusted partner.

Catching an STD over a one nighter to FUcc up the rest of your life isn't cool at all agreed
Eventually you will get...not necessarily TIRED OF...but USED TO...f**king the same girl over and over again. That's why committed relationships based on sex are stupid.
agreed, but If you take Game to the limits and understand it, you can be in a happy relationship or even marriage i.e. Fingz, Guru100, Rollo tomassi are
The bottom line is that you cannot "escape the game". If you get married to "escape the game", the game will eventually find you and suck your wifey right out from under you.
agreed
The "game" is ever-present...and it's about more than sex, it's an integral part of being human, of how we interact with each other. Those who decide to "stop playing" are punished with melancholy, regret, frustration, etc.

Guys like us don't change, Saul. We either stay sharp or we get sloppy. We don't change. -Rusty, Ocean's Eleven

That's why when I see these girls on Plenty of Fish who say they're "tired of the games", I tell them, "The games are probably tired of YOU, too".

I love that rusty quote, and I think right now honestly speaking my game is getting sloppier, to the point were the only time I truly enjoy myself is when I go out and get plastered, when I talk to women now a days, I skip the small stuff and within 2 minutes tell them how i would "fucc them in the ass" needless to say a lot of my sets crash and burn

Dear Solomen,
You have provoked a lot of interesting responses,all of which suggest to me,that we are in an interesting social stage of development,which is a Male driven response to State involvement with relationships and computor driven changes to response times in human interractions.....The present reality is serial Monogamy.....The Pill,and anti biotic responses to STD's in the Sixties spawned this....In the near future,there will be an even looser form of relationships....The next great change will come when Medical Science has made some similar Quantum leap in response to the new resistant forms of STD's...this will be exacerbated by an increase in our life span as we conquer such scourges as Cancer,Diabetes and even obesity...Still remember What the Mans poet Kipling wrote 130 years ago,"The More he has known of the others,the less will he settle for one".

Mr. Scarmouche

Thank you for your insight, I've read a lot of your posts, their usually short and to the point, and I respect that you read my stuff and see "the bigger picture" that a "youngun" such as myself is trying to see.

I've been reading a lot of Pook's blog, and he made an excellent post on this subject basically saying the same thing you said except in "pook fashion" If Men were to practice Sexual discipline,(yup I said it) and hold ourselves to a higher standard, in turn women would be forced too as well because the modern women aka skank wouldn't be a coveted as she is now.

Sexual discipline is easier to talk about then do, especially if you have a high sex drive, but like Neil Strauss said in "the game" if man can harness that energy for a greater good, then just "busting a nut" we would be more productive.

 

[bigjohnson]

The next great change will come when Medical Science has made some similar Quantum leap in response to the new resistant forms of STD's...this will be exacerbated by an increase in our life span as we conquer such scourges as Cancer,Diabetes and even obesity...Still remember What the Mans poet Kipling wrote 130 years ago,"The More he has known of the others,the less will he settle for one".

I'm convinced that if I can maintain my financial resources and live to be 65, which will be roughly 20 more years, that by 2030 I can expect to live to a healthy 100. That will be around the 2060's, and if I manage THAT who knows what the number will be.

Those of us in out 40s or maybe 50s now are likely to be a unique generation where some "died young" of various causes, or were unable to afford top notch treatments, and the remainder survived long enough to survive even longer. Those who are in their 20s now will almost surely see that day, those older than their 50s, will be more challenged to do so.

On topic, what would a healthy 92 year old bachelors "number" look like, and how will he view women? I plan to find out.

 

[Warrior74]

I'm convinced that if I can maintain my financial resources and live to be 65, which will be roughly 20 more years, that by 2030 I can expect to live to a healthy 100. That will be around the 2060's, and if I manage THAT who knows what the number will be.

Those of us in out 40s or maybe 50s now are likely to be a unique generation where some "died young" of various causes, or were unable to afford top notch treatments, and the remainder survived long enough to survive even longer. Those who are in their 20s now will almost surely see that day, those older than their 50s, will be more challenged to do so.

On topic, what would a healthy 92 year old bachelors "number" look like, and how will he view women? I plan to find out.

LOL. Only if we find some new resources or discover an exoplanet that can support life and find a fast way to get there. I don't think our masters will be letting too much life extension out of the secret black boxes. Of course the west is in decline in replacement population but the rest of the world is not. Consider Iraq the first of the resource wars, no...i dont think humans living longer is in anyones best interest but yours and mine.

 

[bigjohnson]

...i dont think humans living longer is in anyones best interest but yours and mine.

I agree, it won't be for the masses but (maybe you and) I are in the top few percent of Americans in terms of wealth generation and easily in the top 1% of Earths population. When the technology is ready try to be in a position to be able to afford it, it won't be for everyone.

 

[Razor Sharp]

@OP,

The problem that most compulsive players have is that women, and more importantly NEW P*SSY becomes the primary focus of their lives. When you are that bent on getting laid you tend to become indifferent about where your life is heading. In a sense you stop loving/taking care of yourself. And how can you love any one woman, when you are incapable of loving yourself (penis excluded)?

It's all balance my man. When you are young it's healthy to sleep around a bit, but sometimes you gotta sacrifice that party time for bigger goals - suffer a little bit now so you are better off tomorrow and have bigger goals than finding destinations for your wang. At the end of the day we are just talking about a wet hole here - guys need to stop fronting like the sun shines out of that thing. Have bigger aims and aspirations in life. Treat yourself with respect and VALUE your sexuality. That will help you walk the fine line between being a heartless womanizer and a conscious player of the game.

I think that once you "see the strings", it's very hard to "fall in love".

^^ So true it f*cking hurts.

The very term "Falling in love" denotes an act of weakness, or involuntary submission. I never liked it and still dont. If/when I do find Ms. Right and decide to settle down, it will be on my own two feet with eyes wide open. More of a "rise into love"

I honestly have tried to set "game" aside. I've been trying all this week, for example, to just go through a first date conversationally, to "be cool" and do the casual conversation thing. And I can honestly say now...F**K casual conversation.

The girls say they want this and they don't want that...what they want is to be swept off their feet. They want to be "taken advantage of" mentally and emotionally...they love the ride.

I swear to God...I can take a girl out to dinner, open doors for her, and have great conversation with her and she will be like, "eh, don't know when we can hang out again", but I'll call my friend's wife a stupid fat b!tch, grope her at the nightclub, and make lewd jokes about c*mming on her t*ts, and she'll tell me a week before her wedding night how much she's attracted to me.

That's some real sh*t right there. Agreed 100%

But here's an outside angle. When you were trying to "be cool" and just talk casually, I think you were just being incongruent with your true nature. You are a badboy at heart and essentially censored yourself to appease a female.

No judgement here, I've done that stupid sh*t more times than I can count. I'm just sayin that women can sense when you are being genuine. Yes they fall for liars, but only the ones who believe their own lies, if you get where I'm coming from.

Maybe you should continue your plan of "dropping game" in favor of being your authentic self, which just happens to be a little rough around the edges, ill-behaved and naughty. As you have already seen women respond well to this. You can be laidback and casual without losing your real swagger. I think that you will see, chicks get off on a slow but steady mind-f*ck.

Whatever the case it makes for an excellent filter against the types you are just not compatible with.

Also, never underestimate the power of instant disqualification. If you don't like how a date is going stop wasting one more second of your time. Let her know it's not working out, wish her luck and just BOUNCE

That will radically increase your odds of finding someone decent (or at least more compatible), cause we both know that "love" waits for no one. This sh*t is a numbers game, plain and simple

 

[BeyondCharm]

In the world of idealism, there are pros and cons to everything. If you are looking for a philosophy on when "enough is enough", you won't find one from someone elses experiences. I understand what Rollo said about not dating enough women. Oneitus is all too common when you have a scarcity mentality, and then your actions and lifestyle come from a place of desperation, rather than certainty and knowing of oneself.

The most important thing you can do in the process of dating is to learn about YOURSELF. That is the primary reason you want to date many different kinds of women. It is not merely for "notches" on the belt, it is to learn through action and experience what you want, what you will tolerate and what you don't want and won't tolerate.

Learn who you are. To quote a Zen Master Dogen Kigen from his book the Shobogenzo, "Flowers will fall even if you love them, weeds will grow even if you hate them, that is all."

 

[Solomon]

@OP,

The problem that most compulsive players have is that women, and more importantly NEW P*SSY becomes the primary focus of their lives. When you are that bent on getting laid you tend to become indifferent about where your life is heading. In a sense you stop loving/taking care of yourself. And how can you love any one woman, when you are incapable of loving yourself (penis excluded)?

It's all balance my man. When you are young it's healthy to sleep around a bit, but sometimes you gotta sacrifice that party time for bigger goals - suffer a little bit now so you are better off tomorrow and have bigger goals than finding destinations for your wang. At the end of the day we are just talking about a wet hole here - guys need to stop fronting like the sun shines out of that thing. Have bigger aims and aspirations in life. Treat yourself with respect and VALUE your sexuality. That will help you walk the fine line between being a heartless womanizer and a conscious player of the game.

This is all great and good but what if you don't know what your purpose is? and trying to figure it out. What if you been a player so long that you don't know how to turn that "on" switch "of"?

 

[Razor Sharp]

When it comes to "purpose" people tend to get it twisted. They think it has to be some deeply secret and spiritual part of you that can only be found through incantations, holy ceremonies or bashing your own head in until you figure it out. They also think it has to be some lofty goal that improves humanity and could win you a Nobel Prize or something.

That's bullsh*t

Purpose is passion, and you can feel that about anything - even collecting coins. It doesn't matter what it is as long as it's something you really enjoy doing. A good measure of this phenomena is in the compression of time. Any activity that forces you to lose track of time, or feel like it has zipped right past you is a potential passion/purpose.

If it's something you can make money off, that's even better because there could be a future in it for you. My cousin loves video games. He enjoys them so much that he taught himself to program and actually MAKES them now. He works at EA games and earns a 6-figure salary for playing around all day. This dude was always broke as f*ck and came from nothing. Nobody handed him that opportunity. He went out and got it.

Whatever your personal case may be, you should constantly be learning new sh*t in various fields of interest till you find a few things that really motivate you. When you put all your eggs in the Game basket, you are essentially selling your soul for p*ssy. And there is nothing manly about that.

Don't get me wrong, game is something that you should always try to keep sharp. But if you have no other source of inspiration or insight, then you are not bringing much to the table. This often pulls you into a vicious cycle of not being effective yet still trying to prove your manhood. It's a downward spiral from which many men to not escape. P*ssy becomes a holy grail and because of this attitude, it will elude them. When they do finally get some it will just be a huge disappointment because no f*ck, no matter how good, can live up to such high expectations. That's what happens when you put a body part on a pedestal.

As far as switching it up, there is an OFF button. It's called PERSONAL VOLITION. You simple have to want to change your mind enough and it will. That's just how this works - govern your mind/emotions or they will rule you.

 

[Greasy Pig]

I've hit three figures with chicks I've banged and I have to say that in the past few years, as soon as I do my load, I have an overwhelming desire to either get out of her house or get her out of mine ASAP.
It's been troubling me but I think this attitude is born of the large number of meaningless ONS I've had.
I even feel this way when I sleep with 'decent' girls who could be more than just a sex partner.
Maybe some guys do become indifferent about women after being with so many and seeing them at their worst.

 

[Zarky]

wow where are you finding all these chicks?

 

[bigjohnson]

P*ssy becomes a holy grail and because of this attitude, it will elude them.

You also get guys who figure out how to get laid regularly and then neglect to develop the rest of their lives. Sort of pathetic but I guess each to his own.

 

[TheAsianLoverReturns]

Yes it happens, for me it happened after I f*cked the 20th. Now I'm in the high 30's, not bad considering 3 years ago, I was a virgin.

They don't mean anything to me.

It allows me to focus on other pursuits. How can I contribute?

I have a knack for making money. I have realized that one must achieve financial independence in order to focus on greater pursuits. In time I can create a vast fortune and perhaps create a foundation to eliminate a great scourge of humanity, cancer.

For selfish reasons yes, for the selfish need to leave my mark in the world.

 

[bukowski_merit]

@buk merit, hey bro good to see you still here, man real talk I love women, you know this, I truly do, I'm not the guy who you see posting "all women are slvts" like the "Big Jumbos" I actually go out and meet women,

Sol... Forgot about this post. I know you actually go out man, i actually read your blog from time to time... Good stuff...

Not questioning if you're a woman hater. Just saying how i get by with my knowledge. Even with all this knowledge i've gathered (on top of the fact that i've been on the darkest side of evil's door with women, and seen women who act like angels - turn into cheating, lieing, serpents, with me; on their bfs/husbands).

How do i trust women? I don't worry about trusting women. (this has taken YEARS; but im pretty much where i want to be with it).
How do i feel passion for women? I let go of my fear of love.
How do i get away with loving? I let go of my desire to own.

Not telling you to follow that path; that's just the path i've chosen.

to be honest I think the root of my problem is that I haven't met a women who has intrigued me and challenged me to the fullest, a woman who has captivated me( a lot of women are boring, and very superficial) and is into me with her whole heart(sounds corny I know).

Doesn't sound corny at all... It's just that - if you're looking for a woman who will intrigue you, challenge you, captivate you, and will love you with all her heart - you're going to have a hell of a time finding that. And when you do - you're going to have a hard time not letting her become a prize in your own mind.

You also have to not be afraid to let yourself go and fall, without becoming too attached to her (easier said than done). You might meet a woman who intrigues you some, but then start finding "red flags", etc. This will influence your decisions on her, preventing you from feeling true passion.

As i said - i feel passion for every woman i fvck. Don't be afraid to be romantic. Just make sure you're following the romance with hard d!ck! Romance without hard d!ck is worthless!

Just try it with the next girl you fvck close! Doesn't matter if you're not that attracted to her or not... Just be a little romantic (not sappy sh!t)... It should get you to feel closer to her... It does for me... When a stroke a woman's hair out of her eyes and look into them; and i see a look in her eyes that says "im loving this and submitting to you" - it does great things for the spirit... Even if i know i'll never see her again once she wakes up in the morning and steps...

When i do meet someone I seem to "fall for" I always drop the ball, and revert back to "beta" behavior and ignore the red flags i.e. they have issues or not into me etc.

This is the side-effect of "looking" for those things you look for; rather than just creating them in whatever female you're with. I don't know; i think you're going to have a hard time finding a woman with all those traits you wanted who DOESN'T have issues and red flags. A lot of those traits you want are traits female players have.

However having game opens your eyes, I feel like a psychologist sometimes when I talk to chick cause I know instantly what goes on maybe I need to brush up on my frame control cause God knows I've lost mine

Hmmmm... yeah, i don't think you should be in a psychologist frame; not healthy to be evaluating each woman and trying to figure her next step before she does. Better to let her try to figure out your next step. That's not to say some calibration isn't needed.


---

Think about it the other way too. If you get into a relationship with a woman who has been with several dudes, wouldn't they view you as just another d1ck or walking wallet and be unable to form the same sort of connection to you as she could if her numbers were miniscule?

several?

i don't expect purity from women.... If you go looking for that - it's going to severely harm your ability to maintain strength when others would be weak. ESPECIALLY if you're talking about something long term.

Madonna/***** complex basics.

 

[Kailex]

I think of it like this:

If my life is being fulfilled in every aspect of my OWN personal space (job, hobbies, gym, etc...), then what does it matter if I see the "dark side". Women are not the hub of my inner self, they are just another extension that the hub reaches out to.

I live my life fully and I enjoy every aspect of it.
Saying there is a dark side of sleeping with a lot of women is like there's a dark side to being really good at the game of basketball or a dark side to being REALLY physically fit or a dark side to knowing what wines to drink.

It's all the same to me now and it's the one aspect of my life that I don't overthink anymore. So, you recognize the patterns of BS from women now? So what? GOOD. Now you know what to avoid and not to put up with. Same as recognizing how to break down that 2-3 defense the other team is throwing at you. Same as recognizing which wines to avoid with a good steak. Same as knowing which exercises NOT to do every other day.

You can either recognize this "dark side" and let it own you or you can choose to be its master. I choose to break down that 2-3 defense, to learn about wine, to exercise better and to bed better women each and every time. The beauty of it is that these are just small details in the bigger picture of my life. I don't get my mind bogged down by these details but I let them be a part of my life and I enjoy them greatly.

 

[thegator39]

I have a question for everyone...has anyone dated a woman that showed strong interest in you, liked you for you, understood you, even the locker-room mentality that guys have, in other words, returned the love and didn't play games? The second part is, if a woman was a 7 plus in looks, and offered all of this, would you want monogamy with her or still be tempted to sleep around due to wanting variety?

 

[3countriesPlan]

I have never fukked as many girls as I have this year.. one girl was extra special but I kept fukking new girls.... now shes gone and ya the dark side is I got addicted to fukking new ass and now the one girl I really liked is gone... it can be a addiction

 

[cassanova35]

i can't put a number on how many women iv'e slept with but, one thing i do know is i love challenges, if the women is not giving me some kind of challenge then i tend to get bored very quickly. But in general i get bored very very very quickly. Don't know if thats due to lack of focus and concentration or the fact that i subconsciouly need some form of mental stimulation, as well as physcial. I guess im just plain ol weird !