Dark side of sleeping with a lot of women

[Solomon]

For those that have slept with a lot of women, do you find yourself not caring at all for the women that you sleep with what so ever? Do you believe that having sex with a lot of women can hinder future relationships because of how you view them consciously/sub-consciously?

For instance, in the book "The Game" Mystery could pick up women but he was a train wreck when it came to relationship. His relationship with Katya was very toxic and unhealthy(but Mystery seems to be nuts in general). There was also a guy (forgot his name) in the game who would bang, a new girl every day. He worked at a club. Eventually he gave up pick up, and went to Jerusalem to become a priest or something like that, another guy in the game became a Buddhist because he yearned for more (I believe it was Extramask). Personally speaking, I get bored when I'm in relationships. Especially if the girl isn't a challenge, but then I don't find banging a bunch of randoms fulfilling either.

The ironic thing is that most of those guys who are so great at picking up girls fail miserably when it comes to being in a relationship with someone they have feeling for, and the more they like the girl or gulp... actually love her, the more pain is waiting for them.

thoughts?

 

[Bluntmaster]

I have banged 20 girls and I find myself loving the ones who now make me wait 5 dates for a kiss.

 

[hithard]

For those that have slept with a lot of women, do you find yourself not caring at all for the women that you sleep with what so ever? Do you believe that having sex with a lot of women can hinder future relationships because of how you view them consciously/sub-consciously?

For instance, in the book "The Game" Mystery could pick up women but he was a train wreck when it came to relationship. His relationship with Katya was very toxic and unhealthy(but Mystery seems to be nuts in general). There was also a guy (forgot his name) in the game who would bang, a new girl every day. He worked at a club. Eventually he gave up pick up, and went to Jerusalem to become a priest or something like that, another guy in the game became a Buddhist because he yearned for more (I believe it was Extramask). Personally speaking, I get bored when I'm in relationships. Especially if the girl isn't a challenge, but then I don't find banging a bunch of randoms fulfilling either.



thoughts?

All those guys made banging girls their life purpose. Hence once they achieved it they found out life wasn't exactly fulfilling. Girls are there as a secondary not as a main mission in life.

 

[squirrels]

Solomon,

I don't consider myself "great" at picking up women. I have slept with somewhere in the 50-60 range number of women, yet only a very few of them were on the night I met them.

However, I do attest that with learning game alongside the number of women I have slept with, I find it hard to become attached. I am not sure why this is, but I now find myself almost unable to fall in love. I wonder if this is how the alphas go through life?

I never used to be that way. I was attached to several women when I was much younger. And it hurt very much to lose them. But then, it is often said that when you get attached to a woman, they lose interest.

That's the rub.

I think that once you "see the strings", it's very hard to "fall in love".

I mean before you know all about the game and sexuality and how to manipulate it, you see a girl and you get those pains in your stomach and you don't really understand them...and the girl is feeling the same kind of thing...and it just feels so "magical"...all of it.

Now when you feel that "magic", you understand what's causing it...more importantly you KNOW HOW to cause it.

When you see that, you can't help but be disappointed with the naivety of people in general.

I honestly have tried to set "game" aside. I've been trying all this week, for example, to just go through a first date conversationally, to "be cool" and do the casual conversation thing. And I can honestly say now...F**K casual conversation.

The girls say they want this and they don't want that...what they want is to be swept off their feet. They want to be "taken advantage of" mentally and emotionally...they love the ride.

I swear to God...I can take a girl out to dinner, open doors for her, and have great conversation with her and she will be like, "eh, don't know when we can hang out again", but I'll call my friend's wife a stupid fat b!tch, grope her at the nightclub, and make lewd jokes about c*mming on her t*ts, and she'll tell me a week before her wedding night how much she's attracted to me.

I'm 30 f*cking years old for God's sake. :cuss:

I think what we're looking for is a woman who CONSCIOUSLY understands what we're doing and APPRECIATES it, rather than a woman who's taken in because she's doing what she does naturally. A woman who is ultra-feminine and will "play back at us", but not out of instict or what Cosmo says...just for the FUN of it. A woman who, when we run game, says, "I see what you're doing there...and I LOVE it".

Conscious people are rare. Conscious, sexually liberated people are EVEN MORE rare. And as you get older, most people who are still "single" are beaten up and drained and don't WANT to be conscious. You hear the phrases, "Tired of the games", "looking to settle down", etc...that's what that means. Instead of bothering to LEARN how their sexuality works, these people have disowned it. Sometimes I feel like I'm one of them these days.

I want so much to treat a girl like a princess one night and have her appreciate it. I want to treat a girl like a slvt on the same night and have her appreciate it. I want to alternate between the two without women thinking I'm schizo...with them REALLY, REALLY understanding what I'm doing.

What I find is a lot of people either too scared to open up or just too goddam DUMB to get what I'm trying to do.

Women are AFCs too. Don't let anyone tell you different.

 

[bukowski_merit]

For those that have slept with a lot of women, do you find yourself not caring at all for the women that you sleep with what so ever?

I've slept with a decent amount of women, and might be a bit strange in my ability to feel passion for just about every woman i've been with (even a ONS.)

It's a controlled passion though that i try not to give to 1 woman.

Meaning I make the relationship/interaction more important than the woman. So that if my relations with one particular woman starts to go bad - i can bring in someone to replace her without losing a moment of sleep (this is easy in theory, but i sometimes find myself remembering a few in particular.)

My frame is: I have a relationship with the female sex (not one woman) that is continuous.

I was at a bar this past weekend; girl started talking to me. Very cute girl; freshly out of a relationship. Within 10 seconds i was stroking her face (literally; she asked me a question - and when i answered - i was touching her). Same as i would one of my FBs i've been seeing for 2 years (FBs even though we say "i love you" to each other).... Within 5 minutes she was sitting on lap, with her arm around me. I was stroking her back.... That's normal to me; some guys would probably feel weird showing them much "love/passion" to a female he didn't know.

But to me - it was real and she became part of my relationship with the female sex, same as a girl i've been seeing for years.

Maybe i sound crazy though...

Do you believe that having sex with a lot of women can hinder future relationships because of how you view them consciously/sub-consciously?

I actually believe it helps more than hurt. But only if you're learning some form of relationship dynamics to balance the Pick up skills. A lot of guys who get heavy into Pick-up - fail because that's all they focus on. They fall in love, but never learned the tools of not becoming betaized.

For instance, in the book "The Game" Mystery could pick up women but he was a train wreck when it came to relationship. His relationship with Katya was very toxic and unhealthy(but Mystery seems to be nuts in general).

Mystery would probably do better now, but seemed very unlearned on how to maintain relationships back then. The #1 rule being to SCREEN SCREEN SCREEN. Katya was obviously a high drama freak; and mystery allowed himself to fall in love with her (which is understandable; high drama freaks are very addictive.) That was a bigger mistake than any other he made after that.

Personally speaking, I get bored when I'm in relationships. Especially if the girl isn't a challenge, but then I don't find banging a bunch of randoms fulfilling either.

thoughts?

This board can make people jaded. Once you learn this stuff - it's hard to trust or believe in love.

It's a struggle to love and to feel passion when you expect a dagger at any minute.

But it is possible.

The key is to not let your knowledge of women turn you against women.

 

[Duffdog]

Ive slept with many chics... I don't even know how many because I never felt like counting. Its true, pretty much every hot girl you meet was a slut before you, so why care about her for that reason only. I finally found a girl who is very virtuous and attractive at the same time...but guess what, she was also a slut. Big deal, there are no "virgins" anymore in the world. Most chics think that they can **** everything in the world and still be perceived as "pure"; only naive guys believe that there are pure girls in this world who are attractive.

Interestingly enough, in Islamic cultures where they value virginity, the most popular plastic surgery is "virgin restoration"...lol!

Before my current gf, I felt like every girl I fvcked needed to be pushed down the stairs after I was done with her. I'm used to every attractive female I meet now being a slut. Its just how females are, so I don't question it or hide from it. My advise is to just pick out one you like to look at with no baggage and go. They are all mostly the same.

 

[Zarky]

I enjoy banging as many women as I can and feel that each new one is an adventure. I have MLTRs as well and enjoy the 'love' aspect of them although I could never give up banging new poon.

I don't feel the need to search for meaning or fulfillment in life because I've come to the conclusion that there is none and I'm ok with that.

 

[squirrels]

My frame is: I have a relationship with the female sex (not one woman) that is continuous.

I like this perspective.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Solomen,
Very provocative Post.......Having lived primarily in One Town for what is becoming a long life,my observations of people around me,their children,their grand children,their broader family,lead me to conclude that much of what we are,is determined by adolescence,maybe by seven years and quite possibly genetically....."Give me the child and I will give you the man".....This belief has been reinforced by a lifelong connection with the Land,with animals any Farmer will take it as common sense that an aggressive bull will father stock that are difficult to handle,a good working Dog will have easily trained Pups....A childs relationship with their parents,and the Culture at home have a large influence on future relationships....In particular if a Man has a bad relationship with his mother it will be very difficult to establish a good relationship with a Lady friend in the future....Few of the posts mention the very real dangers to a Man in the States involvement in relationships.It really is a minefield out there.....Forget about the lonely Old Man syndrome....My Son was married,he contracted Leukemia within six months his wife had flown the coop taking his assets and child with her....My best mate became ill with Hydro Cephalus,he signed a Power Of Attorney to his daughter he emerged from Hospital 12 months later to find a $3 million business stripped,his furniture and possessions missing along with his partner of sixteen years....I believe,a certain healthy skepticism about "Love"together with building a sound Financial base,will protect you better than putting faith in any one apart from your Maker.

 

[Solomon]

Good shyt guys

All those guys made banging girls their life purpose. Hence once they achieved it they found out life wasn't exactly fulfilling. Girls are there as a secondary not as a main mission in life.

Couldn't agree more, and I became one of those guys, it was to prove to myself (and validation from others)that I could bang cute/pretty women but for the life of me I couldn't keep them around. It seems the harder I tried the more "Beta" I became.

Solomon,

I don't consider myself "great" at picking up women. I have slept with somewhere in the 50-60 range number of women, yet only a very few of them were on the night I met them.

However, I do attest that with learning game alongside the number of women I have slept with, I find it hard to become attached. I am not sure why this is, but I now find myself almost unable to fall in love. I wonder if this is how the alphas go through life?

I never used to be that way. I was attached to several women when I was much younger. And it hurt very much to lose them. But then, it is often said that when you get attached to a woman, they lose interest.

That's the rub.

I don't consider myself great either, maybe at one time I did a year or so ago but how quickly things have changed. When I was AFC I use to get "butterflies" and excited to go meet a woman, it was genuine. However I got ****ted on so much that I turned into the "bitter AFC" that guys here talk about, then I learned game. Now when I go on a date, I may get slightly nervous but I don't remember the last time I was genuinely excited (a year ago maybe but when i saw her that faded fast, it was a online dealy). Honestly the colder i was in the game, the more ass I got, but the more detached I became. This was the case with my X, guys like Rollo or Roissy woulda been proud. I did everything an "Alpha" was suppose to do and I never had to think about it because It came so naturally to me then(even though I was cold hearted), she even would tell me that "you intimidate me, I've never had a guy who took control like you" and loved me, however I truly was a selfish prick at the time, and had drunk my share of seductions poison, I didn't wake up until I lost her but even then it wasn't cause I missed her its cause my fragile ego took a blow at the time(I thought I was invincible).

I was always under the impression that it was a phase and that eventually I would move to the other side and meet a good, virtuous woman and settle down and have a family. My parents were the benchmark. They were honest, god-fearing immigrants that had only made love to each other. I was one product of that love.

Then I had a rude awakening. The good, virtuous woman was going the way of the dinosaur. They were becoming extinct. They realized the power of their pvssy over men and began to change the rules. The price of pvssy sky rocketed while the quality went down. It could now totally ruin my life emotionally, physically and financially. It was a "Eureka!" awakening.


With deep sadness I realized that the female gender was now being dominated by slvts unconsciously stumbling through life oblivious to the harm their warm, wet hole was causing to both genders. As men, we are guilty for things becoming this way. Still, women are equally as guilty for allowing it.

Am I cynical? Yes, but hopefully it's through rational reality.


Cheers!

This is what scares me, and I always agree when you state this. We as men have always been looked as leaders and women followed, but when did the roles reversed?

I don't even check my facbeook anymore, because I get annoyed by the constant attention whoring (its got so bad now, where girls are putting up pictures of their ass shots, God knows if they got family who can see)

@buk merit, hey bro good to see you still here, man real talk I love women, you know this, I truly do, I'm not the guy who you see posting "all women are slvts" like the "Big Jumbos" I actually go out and meet women, to be honest I think the root of my problem is that I haven't met a women who has intrigued me and challenged me to the fullest, a woman who has captivated me( a lot of women are boring, and very superficial) and is into me with her whole heart(sounds corny I know). When i do meet someone I seem to "fall for" I always drop the ball, and revert back to "beta" behavior and ignore the red flags i.e. they have issues or not into me etc. However having game opens your eyes, I feel like a psychologist sometimes when I talk to chick cause I know instantly what goes on maybe I need to brush up on my frame control cause God knows I've lost mine

eeh

In honesty

Solo

 

[Zarky]

So if you sleep with a lot of women, it becomes harder to love them. So what? The moment you love girls they sh!it on you anyway. I don't know if money can buy love, but love can't buy you sh!it.

I do agree with that. I'm not really looking to love, I'm looking for women who love ME.

 

[jophil28]

....My Son was married,he contracted Leukemia within six months his wife had flown the coop taking his assets and child with her.....

" For richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health."

The woman's interpretion here seems to be that she is entitled to be richer because he became sicker..!

 

[Colossus]

I think it's just a natural progression. The more women you sleep with, the more indifferent you become, the more you realize the myth of beauty and purity coexisting in one girl and the more predictable they become.

For me reality hit me in the face when I realized the myth of two people loving each other with equal intensity and sincerity. I'm not omniscient, so maybe this does exist, but in my rational estimation it does not.

In some ways I think women need to love a man slightly more than he loves her. Because it has been my experience as well, when you truly love them they sh1t all over you. As much as they pine for it, they arent satisfied.

My old friend's father used to say: "it's not about the one you love the most, it's about the one who loves YOU the most". I think he was on to something.

 

[Solomon]

That's well said. And I think a man in that position will either eventually bore of the girl, or he'll find it endearing and a good reason to stick around. Conversely women almost without fail will bore of the man who "loves her the most." Hence the need to stay one step ahead, if you are a man, and not backslide into betahood.

Great, so either way were fucced, if she likes us to much, we get bored (as the case in my x) if we like her to much, we have to game our "ass's" off to keep her.....

uuuugggh

 

[Zarky]

This is one of the biggest myths used to demonize game. While a PUA may have less experience in a long term relationship, it doesn't necessarily follow that he cannot adjust his game accordingly.

I think even that is playing into the stereotype. I date lots of girls and have lots of long term relationships. I'm currently in both a 6 year relationship and a 2 year relationship, just ended another 2 year relationship, and from 2004-2008 I had a 4-year relationship. Sure these are/were MLTRs, but both my PU skills and my LTR skills are just fine.

EDIT: It's always funny to me when I spout these numbers and people go, "Uhh.. the math doesn't work out right..." Our society is so inherently conditioned to think people can have only one relationship at a time that it's crazy.

 

[Solomon]

I think even that is playing into the stereotype. I date lots of girls and have lots of long term relationships. I'm currently in both a 6 year relationship and a 2 year relationship, just ended another 2 year relationship, and from 2004-2008 I had a 4-year relationship. Sure these are/were MLTRs, but both my PU skills and my LTR skills are just fine.

EDIT: It's always funny to me when I spout these numbers and people go, "Uhh.. the math doesn't work out right..." Our society is so inherently conditioned to think people can have only one relationship at a time that it's crazy.

Zarky I'm curious, do these women know that your dating several women "semi-serious" at the same time?

and if so don't they get jealous or feelings get caught after awhile? I mean if you been with someone for 6 years then someone else for 2 or 4, don't they ever ask to be exclusive? do you allow them to date other men as well?

just curious

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

I honestly think it's part (or should be part) of a Man's maturation process. The most self-deluded AFCs I've ever known are almost invariably the men with the least sexual experience.

This is a tough story to tell, but my brother-in-law was a casualty of this. The guy dated and knocked up my wife's sister when he was 19. They "did the right thing" and got married, and later had another kid. They struggled financially for quite some time, but he was a dedicated white knight AFC with ONEitis for his admittedly beautiful Barbie-esque wife. He was obsessively possessive of her as is to be expected from a guy who's only sexual / intimate experience in his life was with one woman. They were married for 20 years before my sister-in-law fell in love with a millionaire who owned a resort condo they were managing and began distancing herself from her husband, then eventually pressed for separation and divorce. This set him in motion to eventually hang himself at age 40.

That's the abbreviated version of that story, so try not to get lost in a sense of outrage or indignation. Yes, he was the victim of female hypergamy, and yes, I can relate 5 or 6 more stories from my own experience similar to this that would be just as ƒucked up, but the common thread among all of them would be men who only dated one woman or only clung to monogamy as their only hope - literally being unable to live without her in a few instances.

This is the dark side of NOT sleeping with enough women. One more benefit of Plate Theory is that it helps men to understand that keeping one woman, one sole source of sex and intimacy isn't a life or death prospect. In fact I would argue that dating / sleeping with many women should be an integral part of a Man's maturation in order to maintain a healthy future LTR / marriage. Western culture is littered with men who got blindsided by their "soulmates" who thought they were doing the right thing and playing by the rules. Without the confidence in the knowledge that a guy can and has in the past successfully attracted and became involved with other women, he psychologically surrenders himself to his LTR/wife's frame.

Confidence, the kind that is most attractive to women, is derived from realized options, potential options and acknowledging a proven ability to generate more options if need be. This principle applies to more than just women, but even when you're applying it to business, that confidence is always a demonstration of higher value.

 

[mrRuckus]

Think about it the other way too. If you get into a relationship with a woman who has been with several dudes, wouldn't they view you as just another d1ck or walking wallet and be unable to form the same sort of connection to you as she could if her numbers were miniscule?

 

[Solomon]

I honestly think it's part (or should be part) of a Man's maturation process. The most self-deluded AFCs I've ever known are almost invariably the men with the least sexual experience.

This is a tough story to tell, but my brother-in-law was a casualty of this. The guy dated and knocked up my wife's sister when he was 19. They "did the right thing" and got married, and later had another kid. They struggled financially for quite some time, but he was a dedicated white knight AFC with ONEitis for his admittedly beautiful Barbie-esque wife. He was obsessively possessive of her as is to be expected from a guy who's only sexual / intimate experience in his life was with one woman. They were married for 20 years before my sister-in-law fell in love with a millionaire who owned a resort condo they were managing and began distancing herself from her husband, then eventually pressed for separation and divorce. This set him in motion to eventually hang himself at age 40.

That's the abbreviated version of that story, so try not to get lost in a sense of outrage or indignation. Yes, he was the victim of female hypergamy, and yes, I can relate 5 or 6 more stories from my own experience similar to this that would be just as ƒucked up, but the common thread among all of them would be men who only dated one woman or only clung to monogamy as their only hope - literally being unable to live without her in a few instances.

This is the dark side of NOT sleeping with enough women. One more benefit of Plate Theory is that it helps men to understand that keeping one woman, one sole source of sex and intimacy isn't a life or death prospect. In fact I would argue that dating / sleeping with many women should be an integral part of a Man's maturation in order to maintain a healthy future LTR / marriage. Western culture is littered with men who got blindsided by their "soulmates" who thought they were doing the right thing and playing by the rules. Without the confidence in the knowledge that a guy can and has in the past successfully attracted and became involved with other women, he psychologically surrenders himself to his LTR/wife's frame.

Confidence, the kind that is most attractive to women, is derived from realized options, potential options and acknowledging a proven ability to generate more options if need be. This principle applies to more than just women, but even when you're applying it to business, that confidence is always a demonstration of higher value.

I see what you saying Rollo, but what if you do that, settle down and get tired of fuccing the same chick(after having done spun plates for so long)? because you rather get that "new *****"? Even the hollywood guys with their model girlfriends get tired of fuccing her and cheatI.e. Tiger woods who had a hot wife, Ashton Kutcher. Man right now the field is ugly I tell ya, with STD's running rampant and new STD's springing up every decade (HPV is still fairly new) is sleeping with "many women" the bizz?

 

[squirrels]

I see what you saying Rollo, but what if you do that, settle down and get tired of fuccing the same chick(after having done spun plates for so long)? because you rather get that "new *****"? Even the hollywood guys with their model girlfriends get tired of fuccing her and cheatI.e. Tiger woods who had a hot wife, Ashton Kutcher. Man right now the field is ugly I tell ya, with STD's running rampant and new STD's springing up every decade (HPV is still fairly new) is sleeping with "many women" the bizz?

Wear a condom...that will protect you from MOST stuff. I know it may not be "cool", but do it until you're with a tested and trusted partner.


Eventually you will get...not necessarily TIRED OF...but USED TO...f**king the same girl over and over again. That's why committed relationships based on sex are stupid.

The bottom line is that you cannot "escape the game". If you get married to "escape the game", the game will eventually find you and suck your wifey right out from under you.

The "game" is ever-present...and it's about more than sex, it's an integral part of being human, of how we interact with each other. Those who decide to "stop playing" are punished with melancholy, regret, frustration, etc.

Guys like us don't change, Saul. We either stay sharp or we get sloppy. We don't change. -Rusty, Ocean's Eleven

That's why when I see these girls on Plenty of Fish who say they're "tired of the games", I tell them, "The games are probably tired of YOU, too".