Dancing when life is rock bottom

[Pandora]

“Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain.”

I was thinking today about rock bottom. I have a friend that has hit rock bottom and we have all been there before. Im starting to accept the fact that in life you are going to have good times and really soul crushing bad times. Is it possible to get to the point of being able to dance in the rain. This is probably one of the most important life skills to master. I want to be able to be so zen, that when the inevitable bad times come, i am accepting. I look back in the past at all the other times i hit rock bottom. I made it through all of them. I wish i had endured them with more grace. In retrospect they don't look like such a big deal.

I know some posters like Warrior74 have made posts about their hard times. Warrior74 i would like to get your input brother. I want to know if it is really possible to learn to "dance in the rain". Imagine if as men we mastered this skill. Nothing in life could phase us. It is the ultimate inner game.

Its funny becuz when im about to enter into a dark time, the first contacts i cut off is women. Most leave anyway. Some women do support you through a rough time to be fair. Contrary to what people state most of my guys friends stick by my side. They might not be there financially but they are their to support.

I feel like if you can master "dancing in the rain" that life becomes your oyster. You can do anything. But is it possible to be objective and calm when ur about to hit a really bad spot in life??

 

[Pandora]

Interesting thought to preempt things. It probably depends on how invested you are in the girl aa to whether you can afford to preempt the break up or not,


I radically misjudged my own ability to detach during my previous harship when maybe I shouls have been trying to prolong that much needed support. But like you said, probably a moot point anyway, in most cases they are out the door regardless...she didnt exactly leave me much choice.

I dont like to be seen as weak in any way. When i going thru a hardship its prob best to suffer alone. I feel like women will lose some respect for you regardless of whether the hardship was your fault or not. When you say she didnt leave you much choice? Does the mean she left you?

BTW how did u handle the hardship? Was it with stoicism or did she see you sweat?

 

[FieldDay]

Have you ruled out a "leap of faith"?

This is the traditional way of dealing with rock bottom

 

[Rubirosa]

I dont like to be seen as weak in any way. When i going thru a hardship its prob best to suffer alone. I feel like women will lose some respect for you regardless of whether the hardship was your fault or not. When you say she didnt leave you much choice? Does the mean she left you?

BTW how did u handle the hardship? Was it with stoicism or did she see you sweat?

I agree..........Some regrets I have in life are when I was going through a tough time and I shared too much with other people. I guess this is part of being a human with emotions, but the bottom line is that the bad times passed, but the impression I left as a wuss stayed forever...........

 

[Warrior74]

“Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain.”

I was thinking today about rock bottom. I have a friend that has hit rock bottom and we have all been there before. Im starting to accept the fact that in life you are going to have good times and really soul crushing bad times. Is it possible to get to the point of being able to dance in the rain. This is probably one of the most important life skills to master. I want to be able to be so zen, that when the inevitable bad times come, i am accepting. I look back in the past at all the other times i hit rock bottom. I made it through all of them. I wish i had endured them with more grace. In retrospect they don't look like such a big deal.

I know some posters like Warrior74 have made posts about their hard times. Warrior74 i would like to get your input brother. I want to know if it is really possible to learn to "dance in the rain". Imagine if as men we mastered this skill. Nothing in life could phase us. It is the ultimate inner game.

Its funny becuz when im about to enter into a dark time, the first contacts i cut off is women. Most leave anyway. Some women do support you through a rough time to be fair. Contrary to what people state most of my guys friends stick by my side. They might not be there financially but they are their to support.

I feel like if you can master "dancing in the rain" that life becomes your oyster. You can do anything. But is it possible to be objective and calm when ur about to hit a really bad spot in life??

Is it possible to be objective and calm when your about to hit a really bad spot in life? From my experience, you normally don't get fair warning that a bad spot is coming or how bad it is going to be. If I would have known that I was going to lose my job, nearly go to jail for child support, be hungry for weeks on end and not see my kid for a year I could have at least prepared going into it. But when it came as one blow after another it can damage your self esteem.

You gotta roll with the punches they say, but the first few punches might knock you on your ass because you didn't know they were coming. Having been knocked on my ass before, I think now I can handle it objectively and calmly. It's just a matter of putting in the work consistently to get out of the hole. You either die or make it out. Doesn't matter how long it takes. You just keep climbing your way out.

Learning to Dance in the rain? Well. I can't say that it's easy being down or that I'm happy about it. But I have learned to take joy in the things I have and the things I can control. I take joy in my relationship with my daughter. I take joy and pride in my work. I take joy in my friends and spending time with them when I can. And lately I have started taking the time to pause and feel good about every single small achievement I make. I stopped dismissing my little wins because they weren't big wins. 16 days without smoking baby! whoot! If I take another major blow tomorrow and say lose my job and go back to square one. It's okay. It's just a job and I'm not that emotionally invested in someone elses company anyway. I'll find something else and keep going.


That being said, I keep my joy inside. I'm not going to parade it around for others to know about. If you know me, then you know what makes me happy. If you are a client or acquaintance, there is no reason for you to know. If you are a woman, it's none of your business as women are the thieves of happiness.

 

[Pandora]

but the bottom line is that the bad times passed, but the impression I left as a wuss stayed forever...........

Yeh exactly. Same thing happened with me. I want to cultivate a mindset to deal with it bad stuff in a manly way. That takes life experience i guess.

 

[Pandora]

Having been knocked on my ass before, I think now I can handle it objectively and calmly. It's just a matter of putting in the work consistently to get out of the hole. You either die or make it out. Doesn't matter how long it takes. You just keep climbing your way out.

Got it. That''s real mental strength. I know people that get knocked down and never get back. I want to cultivate the mindset of the person who keeps fighting. Thanks for sharing man.