Dancing classes

[Masculinity]

I don't like other guys getting close to my girl because I know how guys think and how sneaky they are. I don't know what to make of this conversation I'm about to share.My girlfriend from two years with whom I have been in long-distance relationship (I"m in CA - She's in NY) for 3 months texted me saying this:

(actual texts)
Gf:This kid from class just asked me to take ballroom classes with him next year I know it sounds kind of weird, but it made me really happy because I don't have any guy friends and he's really nice . I'm pretty sure he's gay though so nothing to worry.
Me:You're gonna take ballroom classes with some dude?
Gf:Lol, yeah not till next year though cause he's going abroad next semester, but it'll be fun! I probably won't be very good but whatever.
Me:Ohhh
Gf: Don't be mad...he's just a friend...you know I love youuu
Me: I know you love me. It's not about that, I just don't want some dude putting his hands on you, gay or not. And besides, you promised not to dance with anyone so if you do and break your promise I'll break mine.
Gf:What? It's like the same thing when you danced with that girl at the salsa club. It isn't grinding, it's ballroom...and it's a year away who's to say it's even gonna happen. It just made me happy that he asked me because I don't have any guy friends here.
Me: It's still dancing...grinding or not. What I'm saying to you is exactly what you told me after I danced with the girls at the salsa club. I'm glad to hear you made a new friend, but that happy if you don't keep what you say, especially if her turns out to be straight. Well, I can dance with chicks if I wanna then and you can't tell me nothing!
Gf: Do you want to? I haven't broken any promises and just said he asked me. I want you to be happy for me...you know I've been sad.
Me: You can't ask me to be happy about some dude touching you and if you do it then yes, I'll do it too(dance with people).
Her: Ok, well no need to worry cause nothing is happening...I just wanted to do something fun because I haven't done anything all semester other than school and work...if I had a car I would be able to go hiking and do other stuff like to go to reiki(some weird"take away pain" touching bull).shares, but I don't, therefore I haven't done anything and it's just nice to meet someone who has similar interests as me and wants to be my friend.
( I didn't reply for an hour)
Gf: DJJJJJJJj
Me: Hold on
Gf: Kk, some drunk guy just asked me to his frat formal and I said no way Jose! and he was like "what?"...he didn't get it, lol
Me:You've gone to college parties and stuff and you're going on a cruise with your family in the winter so it isn't as bad as you make it seem. I understand what you mean about finding people with similar interests and things like that and I honestly want you to be happy and have fun. See it from my point of view though: I love you and I want nooo one else to even get close to you cause I want you all for myself =]
Me: (regarding the drunk guy) haha, that's funny. Was he white? (the joke is white).
Her: Yeah, but you have to let me get close friendship wise...just like you're close with your girlfriends! You shouldn't worry about stuff like that because you know how committed I am to you
Gf: Yeah, he was and he was from one of the "hot" fraternities that I hate more than others
Me: I have never tried to keep you from making friends
Gf:I know, but it seems like you don't want me to be friends with this guy...
Me: I don't want his hands on you
Gf: Ok, they wont...it's a long ways anyway I was just excited he asked me
(end of conversation)

I didn't buy what she said because she mentions being excited a guy asked her to dance with him and then she says "it's in a year so who knows if it'll happen," but then she says "it's a long ways anyways, I was just excited he asked me." She works at this huge college stadium in the university store.
About 8 months ago, some dude tried to get her # and she told me this: "Her: Some guy just tried to trick me into giving him my number, lol"
Me: What did you do?
Her: I smiled and I told him nooo I have a boyfriend
Me: Why would you smile?
Her: Cause it feels nice that someone else finds me attractive

Ps: I have been a pretty confident guy, but relationships f*** you up. I don't know what to think about what she is or isn't doing since she "enjoys" male attention so much when I'm not around. I also don't know how to react to this issue or what to say to her because I don't wanna be an AFC.

Can someone give me a hand?

 

[ARrocket]

Look dude...you're acting way too insecure.

First off, guys on here are gonna bash you for being in a long distance relationship. Because you are not with her physically, these "what if" scenarios pop into your head. You can't allow that to happen.

You honestly sounded like a whiny lil b!tch during parts of that conversation. With the whole "you broke your promise so I'm gonna break mine too!" Lame dude.

At some point you're just gonna have to learn to trust her. You have to. She says she's committed to you. Obviously you can't believe everything someone says, but for your own sanity and the health of your relationship, you're just gonna have to give her the benefit of the doubt.

You can bring up the subject of you not wanting his hands on you, but do it in a joking manner. I think that route would make things better for the both of you. The way I see it, you come first. So make sure you're happy. Agonizing over some dude who wants to bone your girl isn't going to make her happy. If she's a worthy girl, she'll do the right thing (that means not cheat on you, it doesn't mean she can't take the class). Just chill out, focus on your friends and other things that are within your vicinity, and continue living your life.

 

[joe henny]

1. You sound like a b*tch
2. Who cares if it's a long distance keep doing it if you want
3. She is attracted to the guy and feels guilty that she might eff him. In her female mind she seeks to justify her actions by telling you. Allso this is a test. If you whine and cry she will view you as weak and if you don't say anything she will still cheat

4. Your in a long distance relationship, she can and will do so many things you don't know about. Who cares though take it as a break in your head and have fun effing other girls just don't tell her

5. You tell your gf way too much stuff...you don't act like a man

6. Regardless of what you say she can at any moment be getting boned and sucking d1ck. So put yourself in that mindset because 9 times out of ten if a woman knows she can get away with cheating she will.

Hope I didn't break your heart by telling you that your gf is going to cheat on you, but it's the truth. She shows all the signs, she seeks to have male friends which is ludacrious but of course she finds ways to justify it by saying "I need male friends" This is balonie but of course you will believe it because your blinded by love. TRUST ME IV BEEN THERE. She's probably a big time freak and you don't even know it because she is embarassed to show it to you. She sees doing something with someone else on the low as a chance to experience her fantasies.

Good luck

 

[Masculinity]

Look dude...you're acting way too insecure.

You honestly sounded like a whiny lil b!tch during parts of that conversation. With the whole "you broke your promise so I'm gonna break mine too!" Lame dude.

You can bring up the subject of you not wanting his hands on you, but do it in a joking manner. Just chill out, focus on your friends and other things that are within your vicinity, and continue living your life.

First of all, this cold, cruel and straight up criticism burns, but it's constructive and that's awesome.

The part about the friends and continuing living my life makes sense.
Now, this may be obvious, but for some reason I don't see where I was insecure. What could I have done differently to avoid sounding like an insecure little b!itch?

 

[Masculinity]

1. Check

2. Check

3. She is going to be in a club with a skimpy-sexy outfit before you know it.
- believe it or not, girls in relationships dress more provocatively and flirt more than single girls

4. Check. Better yet, move on.

Good luck!

I agree with #'s 1, 2, and 4. I am ready in my mind to let go if it comes down to it, because I know what could happen. Trust me, I have already let go of her in many ways, but without showing it.

Regarding # 3 though: She isn't the kind of girl that would do that. I am really amazed by how faithful she is and all the things she does. Now, I keep getting these repeating comments about being a little insecure b!tch. I take responsibility for it and that's exactly why I posted this. I know I'm blinded for some f***ing reason. How can I sound more manly and much less AFC in future interactions?

 

[Masculinity]

1. You sound like a b*tch
2. Who cares if it's a long distance keep doing it if you want
3. She is attracted to the guy and feels guilty that she might eff him. In her female mind she seeks to justify her actions by telling you. Allso this is a test. If you whine and cry she will view you as weak and if you don't say anything she will still cheat

4. Your in a long distance relationship, she can and will do so many things you don't know about. Who cares though take it as a break in your head and have fun effing other girls just don't tell her

5. You tell your gf way too much stuff...you don't act like a man

6. Regardless of what you say she can at any moment be getting boned and sucking d1ck. So put yourself in that mindset because 9 times out of ten if a woman knows she can get away with cheating she will.

Hope I didn't break your heart by telling you that your gf is going to cheat on you, but it's the truth. She shows all the signs, she seeks to have male friends which is ludacrious but of course she finds ways to justify it by saying "I need male friends" This is balonie but of course you will believe it because your blinded by love. TRUST ME IV BEEN THERE. She's probably a big time freak and you don't even know it because she is embarassed to show it to you. She sees doing something with someone else on the low as a chance to experience her fantasies.

Good luck

She's only been with two guys and she's really committed to me - she shows all the signs. I just found the guy came out of the closet with her and that's why he got talking to her to fast.

Regarding points 1, 3, and 5:

1. How do I sound like a b!tch and what can I do to avoid it again?
3.The guy is gay and a loser - I don't think he is going to touch my girl. However, I am aware I might have messed up by giving the answers I gave. Your point seems like a dead-end street though: If I don't "whine" she cheats and if I do then I'm weak - it sounds unrealistically negative.
5. What could I have avoided so that I sound like the man I am and how am I telling my gf way too much?

 

[joe henny]

She's only been with two guys and she's really committed to me - she shows all the signs. I just found the guy came out of the closet with her and that's why he got talking to her to fast.

Regarding points 1, 3, and 5:

1. How do I sound like a b!tch and what can I do to avoid it again?
3.The guy is gay and a loser - I don't think he is going to touch my girl. However, I am aware I might have messed up by giving the answers I gave. Your point seems like a dead-end street though: If I don't "whine" she cheats and if I do then I'm weak - it sounds unrealistically negative.
5. What could I have avoided so that I sound like the man I am and how am I telling my gf way too much?

Okay look she said I think he's gay...She said that to calm you down. She's trying to manipulate you homie, that's what women do and dont go telling her that either homie. Just act as if nothing phases you...I learned thif from my uncle: If you really don't want them to cheat, then every time they tell you something crazy like that just let them know "okay that just opened up our relation ship more. We are now on that level so I will be doing the same thing with out any complaints.

Act calm about it though. This will kill her she will get her act straight because she'll be so worried your fvckin another b1tch. But if you symp out she will think your cant find another woman and that youll put up with her cheating. IDGAF WHAT ANY ONE ELSE SAYS I KNOW THIS FOR A FACT. Even my ex admitted that when she told me she thought I would stay and that I couldn't find any one else....I don't think so b*tch! Remember dog stay calm and handle.

 

[amoka]

Look dude...you're acting way too insecure.

First off, guys on here are gonna bash you for being in a long distance relationship. Because you are not with her physically, these "what if" scenarios pop into your head. You can't allow that to happen.

You honestly sounded like a whiny lil b!tch during parts of that conversation. With the whole "you broke your promise so I'm gonna break mine too!" Lame dude.

At some point you're just gonna have to learn to trust her. You have to. She says she's committed to you. Obviously you can't believe everything someone says, but for your own sanity and the health of your relationship, you're just gonna have to give her the benefit of the doubt.

You can bring up the subject of you not wanting his hands on you, but do it in a joking manner. I think that route would make things better for the both of you. The way I see it, you come first. So make sure you're happy. Agonizing over some dude who wants to bone your girl isn't going to make her happy. If she's a worthy girl, she'll do the right thing (that means not cheat on you, it doesn't mean she can't take the class). Just chill out, focus on your friends and other things that are within your vicinity, and continue living your life.

Best response.