Damnit guys here's my problem

[Ricky]

I have a feeling I'm not the only one out here that is at this point

1) First I was an AFC with no women
2) Then I changed my attitudes and behaviors, now getting dates, laid, etc wasn't quite as hard. In fact getting, numbers, dates and first night lays has been frequent enough that I feel I am doing ok on that step.
3) Now I have dated quite a few women but all the relationships tend to fall apart. At the end of each one I feel kind of pissed off or upset at what happened. After the sting of each failure, I feel all the other failures before it. I did just get out of a 3 year LTR, but some other ones fail after a few months as well.

It is frustrating. I want to meet a higher quality of woman. Yes they are good looking, but many of them have problems.

I am frankly tired of meeting women with baggage, women who don't put forth an effort, women who are needy, women who aren't what I want. Women who are selfish, women who are not as intelligent or motivated as me, women who are users.

If I could find one girl that was halfway decent I would settle down with her. I am sick of this.

 

[diablo]

So what do you want us to do about it? Put an ad in the classifieds for you?

 

[DeathDealer]

Those women you listed that you were tired of, you start off by filtering those women out. You will succeed.

I have a friend who used to go after 8s9s, then he had to deal with their high maintenance makeup, using him for money/rides. Then he just started filtering them all out and going with what he was "most comfortable" with.

All those women you listed you cannot handle them, maybe because they can only have relationships with equally messed up men or jerks in general?

 

[Ricky]

You are fricking right. They are just not worth the headaches.

I dated a drama queen/princess for 3 years. I don't need it anymore.

 

[Kaine]

That's the dating game isn't it?

Set your standards up a little higher and make sure you get what you deserve in your women before commiting.

What happened with your 3yr LTR? Where there any redflags?

As expected her IL in you dictates her actions towards you (this applies to normal women), can you identify when things started to fall in the sh1tter? Did she transform into a drama queen over time?

 

[dereklearnslow]

Are these the rules for women?

http://www.topdatingtips.com/dating-rules-for-women.htm

They seem to contradict everything taught here...

No wonder men and women are so fcked up. We play these stupid games with each other. I weep.

 

[saki]

damn man, stop complaining and just enjoy getting the poon! thats all women are really good for anyway

 

[squirrels]

Stop trying to find the girl of your dreams in bars and clubs.

I'd say out of every 1000 girls you see in a bar or club, maybe 100 are actually dateable. And then maybe 20 of them are girls you would enjoy any kind of long-termer with.

Not that they don't go out to those kinds of places, because they do, but you're rather unlikely to "stumble across" one out there with all the trampy little party-girls running around.

There's this social stigma out there that "club-hopping is the PLACE TO BE" for people of our generation. The catch is that the weaker-minded you are, the more you buy into that media hype. So you're going to have a struggle of finding a good, individual-minded woman in a place like that.

Here's to the good life, or so they say
All those party and games that all those people play
They tell me that this is the place to be
All those beautiful people and nothing to see


At the same time, if you're looking for a quick-lay or a short-term casual sex-buddy, you can't really BEAT that atmosphere. But you're not going to find a quality girl in a standard dating forum that relies on intoxication as a means to connect people.

 

[GREAT WHITE SHARK]

I feel the same brother, this relationship thing really sucks.

And the more I think about it, the more I am convinced that living a kind of loner, self respected, living my own dreams and happy, is the best thing a man can do.

Some day a good woman will come and we will build a family and etc.. but the more important is for me to be happy.

So dont worry, waste some energy with those girls, have some fun... but go fishing the weekends.

 

[penkitten]

Originally posted by squirrels
Stop trying to find the girl of your dreams in bars and clubs.

I'd say out of every 1000 girls you see in a bar or club, maybe 100 are actually dateable. And then maybe 20 of them are girls you would enjoy any kind of long-termer with.

Not that they don't go out to those kinds of places, because they do, but you're rather unlikely to "stumble across" one out there with all the trampy little party-girls running around.

There's this social stigma out there that "club-hopping is the PLACE TO BE" for people of our generation. The catch is that the weaker-minded you are, the more you buy into that media hype. So you're going to have a struggle of finding a good, individual-minded woman in a place like that.

Here's to the good life, or so they say
All those party and games that all those people play
They tell me that this is the place to be
All those beautiful people and nothing to see


At the same time, if you're looking for a quick-lay or a short-term casual sex-buddy, you can't really BEAT that atmosphere. But you're not going to find a quality girl in a standard dating forum that relies on intoxication as a means to connect people.

i agree with squirrels on this one ricky

 

[Maverick001]

Guys,

Being in an LTR necessarily means that the girl's baggage, problems and hang-ups become yours as well as vice versa.

If in the qualifying stages you've decided that you not only can handle your problems but the girl's as well then things are golden.

If at a later stage something hits you from the girl's side out of the blue that a major point of contention then you've got to decide to work it out or eject.

If you knew what shortcomings the girl had before you entered into a LTR with her then complaining about it afterward is of no use because IT'S YOUR OWN FAULT THAT YOU'RE WOUND UP.

Just my 2 cents.

Cheers,
Mav

 

[Ricky]

Guys the girl that's bringing me down is my friends wife sister. So I didn't meet her at a bar. I had a good feeling about her to start.

Last weekend, she unloaded some major baggage, I freaked on the inside but played it cool with her, she asked me to open up more with her and I got defensive and now we are where we are.

We had a date this weekend, she cancelled but tried to move it to another day that I couldn't make.

Now with next week being Thanksgiving, we are both uncertain if or when we can go out.

You know how it is, things lose momentum quickly when you just start dating. I am not sure what's she;s thinking but it's not looking good.

I honestly want to go out with her again even after hearing all her baggage and freaking out. She says she wants to get to know me better too. We will see.

My aneurysm and rant about women was really just frustration.

In the end no matter what happens with a particular girl, I always want to feel like I am the one choosing, I am the one with the upper hand. I always want to feel like I'm winning.

 

[Kidd]

Originally posted by dereklearnslow
Are these the rules for women?

http://www.topdatingtips.com/dating-rules-for-women.htm

They seem to contradict everything taught here...

No wonder men and women are so fcked up. We play these stupid games with each other. I weep.

**** those stupid games. Any chick who does this to me will not hear from me.

 

[Alpine]

Seems to me the DJ approach can sometimes store up trouble for you.

Say your not Mr Perfect, your not completely in control of all your behaviours and emotions, you not rich and your sh1t stinks just like hers.

Wouldn't it be nice when the going gets tough that you could let your guard down, admit you can't handle all her problems as well, and for a LTR sometimes you're going to have to emotionally lean on her every now and then.

Or does that make you a Pvssy?

 

[Ricky]

Yeah Alpine it would be nice to find a girl to be honest with.

It seems like you really can't be truthful to them until you date them for a while though.

But I just got **** for not being serious enough after only 4 dates.

Crazy stuff.