damn oneitis!

[randalll]

is there actually much you can do if you have a case of it?

any posts about it, that you can direct me to???

im just gonna end up giving this girl the power if i carry on the way i am..

i know it's a big problem and a proper DJ wouldnt have it, but i cant really be bothered going hanging out with other women a lot of the time, people say im way too picky about what women i talk to and hang out with. so when i meet a decent one, i just lose some control cos i dont have many, if any, others im interested in.

 

[randalll]

thanks Wolf thats helped a lot man.
the case ive got atm isnt too serious but i had a bad situation a couple of years ago and told the girl i like her! ...never again!
im just gonna tackle this one the right way from the start, its the kind that will develop if left!

 

[Daddy The Pimp]

Man, it can happen to anyone, I myself was a victim of a VERY bad case of it. It was at the stage where I thought I was the only one who had it so bad, and when other guys were talking about their times with it, I thought that mine was obviously worse. Had to include that because you will probably think the same thing, but trust me there are people with it as bad as you, and probably even worse in some cases. Girl "x" used to be the first thing on my mind in the mornings and the last thing in my head at night.

Here are some keys to unlocking the jail cell you have put around yourself as a result:

. Distance

In my experience the above is the MOST IMPORTANT. You will go through a cold turkey like phase but will eventually get over it.

. Meet other women (second most important)
. Focus the passion on something else
. FIND something else you are passionate about
. Realise you aren't the only one
. Realise she's not as special as your mind is tricking you to believe
. Realise it's all in your head and can be giving similar effects to beer goggles
. Chances are you are a better individual than her

For me , it works best when i go out and approach other womens . When i get 2-3 girls attracted to me i forgot about her and i totally feel like im the KING OF THE WORLD .

 

[DonGorgon]

"Onitis" is the only thing that can save the state of modern marriage... but both the man and woman have to have it..

 

[In Motion]

Oneitis SUCKS, when you get it you are ****ed. Im just getting out of this horrible decease, what helped me was just thinking:

"FVCK this, she isnt that special. I just have to stop wasting my valuable time on her."

Just treat her as a friend or fvckin ignore her. Tell yourself its over! As of tomorrow you will no longer look at her the same way that you have done. Shes is nothing more then a friend(?) or just some random girl. ITS OVER.

I know this can be hard to realize but you just have to do it. Fvck her! Its your turn to live!

 

[ARrocket]

Oneitis SUCKS, when you get it you are ****ed. Im just getting out of this horrible decease, what helped me was just thinking:

"FVCK this, she isnt that special. I just have to stop wasting my valuable time on her."

Just treat her as a friend or fvckin ignore her. Tell yourself its over! As of tomorrow you will no longer look at her the same way that you have done. Shes is nothing more then a friend(?) or just some random girl. ITS OVER.

I know this can be hard to realize but you just have to do it. Fvck her! Its your turn to live!

Careful with "treating her as a friend;" You have to have the distance, for a couple of months at least.

 

[Technical1]

Oneitis is deadly fantasy addiction stuff, get out of that headspace by any means necessary! Either you get yourself out or reality will drag you out kicking and screaming with years of your life lost. The paradise dreamed up in Oneitis is never realized: so no, it cannot "work". Even if things turn out well you're still fvcked. Maybe really fvcked because then you have kids and get married early and you're back here at SoSuave at 35 minus a couple hundred K.

One way is to make sure you will never see her again, and punch yourself each time you think of her. Its strange to realize, but a girl you have caught Oneitis for is actually the biggest danger to your life that you face.

 

[Lord Shinra]

I use an old trick.
When I had oneitis, I just pictured her using a squat toilet and not wiping properly. I kept at it until I was repulsed by her image, and began to slowly ignore her until she was a relic of my past.

Now I get phone calls every month from my former oneitis, which I with pleasure "reject".

 

[reset]

punch yourself each time you think of her.

Damn can't I just get a patch?

 

[Maxtro]

I HATE oneitis! Oneitis only happens to men who are lacking in options. I've had oneitis for the same chick since October of last year. We had a class together last semester and we are a class together this semester.

I really want to get rid of the damn feeling. Good suggestions on how to get rid of oneitis.

. Distance

Yeah thats the absolute best way to get over oneitis. Simply don't see her anymore and the feelings will fade. Thats how I've gotten over all cases of oneitis that I've had. Unfortunately it sucks knowing that I'll have to add her to the pile of girls I've had oneitis for but I've never gotten. I think she's number 11 or 12. What sucks even more is that I still know all their first and last names, and where I knew them from.

The semester is over at the end of May so I have about two more months of suffering with oneitis. Once that passes, she will be nothing more than another painful memory

. Meet other women (second most important)

Meeting other women isn't quite good enough. You have to actually be doing stuff with them. Will my oneitis go away if I'm having sex with another girl? I'd like to think so. Unfortunately I'm not screwing anybody and I don't see it happening for a long time.

Basically if a guy is seeing other girls, then it's really difficult to even get oneitis.

. Focus the passion on something else

Yeah, if you have something to keep your mind busy then you won't be thinking about her. The less you think about her the lower your interest in her will drop.

I don't have many passions so only a few things cause me to take my mind off of her. Unfortunately when I'm at school or doing homework I'm usually so bored that my mind drifts over to her.

. FIND something else you are passionate about

Same as above. I need to have some passions but it's not that easy. You can't exactly tell somebody, "Get a passion."

. Realise you aren't the only one

I'm not totally sure what you mean by this. Here is what my guess is. I'm certain that I'm not the only one that has oneitis on her. In the class that I have her in she is a 10 and every other girl is basically an 8 or lower. There are 4 other guys that try to hover around her. I know that every guy in the room would love a piece of her.

. Realise she's not as special as your mind is tricking you to believe

I don't know about that. The fact that she is one of the most attractive girls I have ever met. She has a great personality. The only faults that I have seen is that she sometimes acts a little too goofy and immature for a 20 year old.

. Realise it's all in your head and can be giving similar effects to beer goggles

I'm certain that my very strong desire to have a girl is greatly magnifying the normal interest in her that I would have. If I wasn't so desperate she would be nothing but another hot girl.

. Chances are you are a better individual than her

I don't know her well enough to make that kind of call. I haven't seen that many negatives about her.

Either way, oneitis is an AFC disease. It should be avoided at all times but sometimes that's easier said than done.

 

[Juan_Man]

Anyone can contract oneitis, from the confident to the insecure. I think the only cure is getting another girl, which is easier said than done. You could try treating the oneitis as a friend or keeping your distance but I think you will always see her as someone special (the toilet image doesn't last long). That's why you have to find another girl who you are genuinely attracted to (not a replacement, not a person to fill the void) and make a move. That's when you truly forget the oneitis.

 

[randalll]

thanks for all the replies guys, thats really helped put this into perspective.

a few questions though, if the girl was into you first, and you think you might have a chance with her. would it still be AFC to keep seeing her? it's not like im chasing her.

tomorrow, if i see her out we'll probs stay in the pub a few hours n i could probs then get her back to my place, should i try and do this... or just cut all contact with this chick? how would you act when you see her/hang out with her again?

 

[randalll]

oh yeah and also, i asked one of my girl friends about this, and she said "you should text her, let her know you like her"

bad advice or what?!

i told her i wasnt gonna do that after she cancelled

 

[squirrels]

is there actually much you can do if you have a case of it?

any posts about it, that you can direct me to???

im just gonna end up giving this girl the power if i carry on the way i am..

i know it's a big problem and a proper DJ wouldnt have it, but i cant really be bothered going hanging out with other women a lot of the time, people say im way too picky about what women i talk to and hang out with. so when i meet a decent one, i just lose some control cos i dont have many, if any, others im interested in.

Just let it pass through you. Feel it, accept it, but don't ACT on it. Instead act on what you DO want. It's OK to do what you WANT while feeling what you DON'T want to feel, if you don't let your feelings distract you.