damn. i didnt make a move :(

[Gee]

i went out with this girl last night who ive know for the past year and a bit but have never really spoke to.

the conversation was good. i was making her laugh etc. but i didnt make any moves and im really kicking myself for it.

i really like this girl and like spending time with her.

could i invite her out again like to the cinema or something or have i blown it?

 

[nonstop]

not all is lost, invite her out again and make a move.

take her ice skating, or some other action date.

 

[LordBrian]

Originally posted by Gee

could i invite her out again like to the cinema or something or have i blown it?

the only time u have no chance... is if you do nothing

 

[Luscious]

Go for it, just make damn sure to show interest this time. Kino, kino, kino.

The only way to get a reward is to take a risk. Make a move.

 

[PVSSY-EATER]

exactly.....invite her to your outing on a certain night to a bowling alley or something of action.......kino her, and have a great time, you will do great.

 

[Gee]

well i asked her if she wanted to go to the cinema with me next week and she said that she couldnt as she was working split shifts.

its obviosuly an excuse becuase if she wanted to go she would have. so its all over

 

[Qmanchoo]

First off, Movies to girls either = boring or = He wants to make out for 2 hours, she wont really be all that interested unless it's a chick flick...but in either case why would you want to go to the movies of all places. You can't convey your personality and get a girl interested in you while she's trying not to fall asleep in a dark movie theater.

And don't assume so much. Work is important and I put it over getting together with any girls that I know, and most girls do as well. I'd say put this one on the back burner for a while and myabe ask her out again in a week or two.

But this time have something fun an interesting to do!

"Hey, I'm going to this party tonight, it's going to be great! We have an ice luge, a mini bar, and it's PIMP an HO themed! Going to be a crazy good time!"

Now I'm not saying do THAT specifically, but do you see how much more interested ANYONE on average would be in doing that rather than going to a movie?

Even going to a really popular area of town and walking around where there are tons of shops, places to eat, and neat things to see is 10X better than a movie. And this is more of an adventure for a girl.

I grew up in a reall small town, 4k peole or so. About 10 miles away was a city of 70k people. These were the only 2 places people used to hang out....somewhere in our small boring ass town or go in the "city" ...one of two popular places to chill. Everyone knew these spots, it was a very predictable place to go, nothing new nothing interesting.

So I thought to myself, how the hell do you be a little different in this situation? Well, most of these close minded and lazy people didn't even bother to notice that 20 miles away was a great beach / amusement park / tourist / party spot to have a great time and no one I knew went there on a regular basis. So, O drove there by myself once and setup a little "10 stop adventure" to all the cool spots in that area...found interesting places, thought of 1-2 interesting things to do there (just in case), and would take dates on a "New and cool adventure" on the _fisrt_ date and that set me up as the "fun guy to have an adventure with" instead of "go to the movies guy" like 90% of the other guys she knows.

Just a tip. And don't think anything is ever 100% blown unless YOU really **** it up by being REALLY mean and insult the **** out of her or something equally terrible, feelings always change over time.

 

[Gee]

thats some good advice but if i do that then she'll only come for the date, not becuase shes interested in me.

if she was interested in me she wouldnt care where we went

 

[Qmanchoo]

You're looking at it from the wrong perspective.

If you suggest boring things like going to the movies her interest level in you will drop because boring does not = attractive.

If you suggest something interesting and fun to do, and you go do something interesting and fun and convery your personality to her, get her turned on with kino, make small moves (without crossing the line), she will become very attrated to you again.

Womens interest level in you runs like a rollercoaster and it starts at the bottom. It is you and your actions that will determin if she's at a peak or low. However, there is usually that long ride up the first big hill until she's experiences ENOUGH emotional situations with you to make her interest level in you skyrocket _and stay there for a long time_. You have to get it there for her to REALLY be interested in you and REALLY want to be with you. You go on one date and expect someone to REALLY want to be with you?

A girls interest level in you has to be pretty DAMN high if she's willing to go do boring things with you just to be with you, that's LTR stuff right there. The fist few dates have to be really fun and interesting if you want to keep her interest!

What girl do you think is going to be interested in you if you're not suggesting progressivly fun things to do for dates? You're throwing your coaster into reverse.

When all is said and done you can at least tell youself you tried your best with someone you like, for some reason is just didn't work, and move on.

Perosnally I'd go after other women for a little while and forget about her for a bit.

 

[Gee]

ok. so in a bout 2 weeks ill aks he rout again.

what exatcly should i say.

can i just say "you want to come bowling woith me on XXX"

or shoudl i ask when shes free first?

 

[Gee]

Originally posted by Qmanchoo

Perosnally I'd go after other women for a little while and forget about her for a bit.

haha that'll be the day. it was easy asking this gril as shes in my class and i knew she liked derrne brown (as i took her to one of his shows).

i dont dare approach girls i dont know. maybe say hi to them buts that it

 

[Qmanchoo]

Man, it's so hard to give good advice over a forum when you really think about how different everyones situation is.

Well, you have one good thing here...

She's in your class, so that's money.

I'd say this.... Use that time to joke around with her, tease her, and see how she reacts. Pay close attention to everything you do and exactly how she reacts to it so you can learn! Some girls react to teasing well, some hate it. After you're done talking to her reflect on the interaction a bit and see what she reacted to positively and what negatively. Stop doing the negative things so much. Remember, no pressure she's just practice, just like most girls.

Do this for a week or so but don't smother her with attention. When the time is right to talk, talk, don't just run up and start jabbering away about something random.

If she's reacting positively again (and you'll know/feel (gut) she is)...you're good for another date request.

If not it's really important that you move on for a while. Because after the blow off you have to reasses her interest level to see if it was legit or really a blow off.

 

[Gee]

thanks for all your advice.

we'll be on half term next week so i wont see her then. and shes apparently 'working split shifts' =\.

the week after my class is going on holiday to Tenereef. me and her are also going.

could i use this ot my advantage. how should i act around he rin Tenereef. just tease her etc?

 

[BES]

for me bowling is not a good date unless you have some friends willing to have a double date.

take her to arcade games, pool, Also win something for her... stuff toys... (she will remember dat date for sure), paintball, clubing (good kino! if you know how to dance), ice skating or roller blading, play basketball at park or tennis (teach her something). be adventurous!

if she is a geek take her somewhere where she can enjoy something with you. museum or poet club.