Damn Chemistry !

[Wiesman44]

Hey everyone. Been out of the PUA game for years now. I'm recently single ( 5 months ago) and I've been doing a lot of online dating. I realized I lost a LOT of game. Got quite rusty. So I've got some Q's for you all.

Went out on 4 dates with one girl. She was real into me, then lost interest at last minute. She ended up saying she didn't feel any chemistry, but I was a fun guy so she was hoping it would gradually happen, but it didn't. Did something right if it lasted 4 dates. What is this damn chemistry and how do i artificially create it !

Another gorgeous girl said no chemistry after first date.


Whats going on here ! Do you all think this 'chemistry' sh#t that women talk of is just natural, or can we, as PUA's, get around it by doing something specific ? Could I have artificially created chemistry ? Someone help here. Its been far too long since I've been in this game.

 

[Findog]

I think of dating as a numbers game. The more women you meet and come across, the more likely you're gonna meet somebody with whom you click. Some people you're just not gonna hit it off with no matter what, and with other girls everything is just gonna come easy and naturally.

I've been single for a year now after my last serious relationship ended. I did a lot of online dating too for months and am now concentrating on spinning some offline plates. I think online dating is a useful adjunct to dating and a way to practice your skills. However, it is time-consuming and you can end up relying on it as a crutch, instead of getting involved in hobbies and activities and going out with friends where you are likely to meet other people. There's also a problem I think when you hit it off with somebody online and then sparks don't fly when you finally meet in person, or the chick ends up being a flake or crazy. It's hard to manage expectations sometimes with online dating, and avoid getting your hopes up until you've finally met in person and hit it off.

My last serious relationship ended pretty abruptly and I took it pretty hard, and I didn't feel like shelling out money for a subscription to match or eharmony, so I set up a profile on OKC. I had a wide range of experiences. I managed to sleep with three chicks, and I had a couple of other ones that wanted to do the deed but they were setting off too many red flags to make it worth it. I had only one really bad, awkward first date where there was no chemistry.

Also, don't feel bad that you are "rusty." If you've been in a relationship for a while and unexpectedly find yourself single again, if you're anything like me you will be mentally rebelling against that status and comparing every girl you meet to your ex. It took me a while to finally feel normal again being single instead of thinking to myself "It shouldn't be this way." It takes time I think to regain confidence and get the hang of spinning plates but the only way around that is to push yourself and get out there and go on dates with lots of different girls until you get the hang out of it again. I think it's like a mental muscle memory you haven't exercised in a long time, if that makes sense.

 

[scrouds]

Did something right if it lasted 4 dates.

Paid for the dates, no doubt.

Takes a good girl 2 dates to bang, 4 dates for feeling guilty for taking advantage of a dude. The gamut is much wider for bad girls.

 

[Die Hard]

You treated them too nice, acted too needy, were to eager to please them, didn't offer them enough of a challenge etc. With the next girl, be more of a jerk!

Report back how that works out for you.

 

[Mike32ct]

If you stop the hamster wheel in her head, this is the definition of chemistry (or lack thereof) that you'll see imprinted in her brain:

1. Chemistry = "You make my 'gina tingle. I want to ride your baloney pony lol."

2. No chemistry = "You're a nice guy, but you don't turn me on. I wouldn't F you with my worst enemy's p&ssy lol."

 

[st_99]

I think "chemistry" is just a byproduct of game. If you're cool, calm, and
collected, in other words, don't care about outcome, then you'll all of a
sudden have "chemistry"

 

[Jitterbug]

You need to make them feel more emotions than just plain social pleasantry, which quickly leads to boredom and dry vagina.

 

[Desdinova]

Whats going on here ! Do you all think this 'chemistry' sh#t that women talk of is just natural, or can we, as PUA's, get around it by doing something specific ?

Instead of treading you like a noob like many others on this thread, maybe it's better to get down to the basics. When I got tossed back into the dating world after 8 years, I was pretty rusty too.

For starters, how long have you been out of the game? How did your LTR end? Who ended it? How did it end?

I'm pretty sure Jitterbug hit the nail on the head. "Chemistry" is a bull5hit word that women come up with when the man they're seeing gives them powerful emotions or powerful emotional fluctuation. You may be nice to date, but you need to provide her with "chemistry".

Using kino, flirting, teasing, ****y / funny will ALL help her to feel "chemistry". I'm currently dating a 21 year old and I have fvck all in common with her, but in her opinion we have TONS in common, and we have chemistry. I use all of the above and have a bytch of a time getting rid of the women I date. I can't even remember the last time I was dumped.

It's easy to get out of practice after a LTR. Give the DJ Bible a quick review and get out there and practice. You'll find yourself back in the game soon enough

 

[gaspipe]

Hey everyone. Been out of the PUA game for years now. I'm recently single ( 5 months ago) and I've been doing a lot of online dating. I realized I lost a LOT of game. Got quite rusty. So I've got some Q's for you all.

Went out on 4 dates with one girl. She was real into me, then lost interest at last minute. She ended up saying she didn't feel any chemistry, but I was a fun guy so she was hoping it would gradually happen, but it didn't. Did something right if it lasted 4 dates. What is this damn chemistry and how do i artificially create it !

Another gorgeous girl said no chemistry after first date.


Whats going on here ! Do you all think this 'chemistry' sh#t that women talk of is just natural, or can we, as PUA's, get around it by doing something specific ? Could I have artificially created chemistry ? Someone help here. Its been far too long since I've been in this game.

Believe it or not many, perhaps most women online, although they wont admit it, just want to get laid just like you do. If you dont give out a sexual vibe early on they will get bored and just wait for the next guy to bang them silly.

Did you try to kiss any of these women on the first date? Did you use kino or made it clear that you were sexually interested early on? Did you look at them with lustful eyes letting them know that you wanted to bang them then and there? Or did you hide your sexuality thinking that they would get offended if you tried to show it too soon?.

Let me tell you something from my own experience with women both on and off line. I dont remember the last time a woman whom I dated ever refusing a followup date when I made a sexual move on her. I remember a multitude of dates with women where I played the part of the polite non sexual nice guy who never returned my calls after the first date.

BE A MAN. DONT BE AFRAID TO EXPRESS YOUR SEXUALITY. It will take you farther in the relationship than you can imagine.

 

[wait_out]

Girls don't date because they want to make friends.... remember that

 

[Wiesman44]

thanks everyone. I do believe I was too much of a nice guy, and was quite needy. I'm going to work on my ****y / funny and being a jerk. It worked for me way back when. But being in a 2 yr + relationship, you somewhat let all your DJ skills go to the wayside, and start dating with your 'old' style, which clearly doesn't work !

back to the DJ Bible !

 

[Die Hard]

Attaboy!

 

[SecondHalf]

thanks everyone. I do believe I was too much of a nice guy, and was quite needy. I'm going to work on my ****y / funny and being a jerk. It worked for me way back when. But being in a 2 yr + relationship, you somewhat let all your DJ skills go to the wayside, and start dating with your 'old' style, which clearly doesn't work !

back to the DJ Bible !

Chemistry = sexual attraction. That's it.

When I use online dating, I get multiple plates going immediately. It helps me to not worry too much about any of them initially. I never do coffee/dinner first dates only drinks. Get a couple drinks in them and they loosen right up.
Never be serious in the beginning just be fun and horn3y!

SH

 

[Colossus]

I agree with Findog here...LTRs and dating are two totally different mindsets. And you hit the nail on the head with the online dating thing---I've said for years that it is a great supplement but should not be relied upon or take the place of real hobbies and socializing.

As for the "chemistry" thing, I think it's just a function of how well you get along and how intense the sexual attraction is. It really is a numbers game...some girls you wont feel and some girls wont feel you. You just have to keep getting back in the saddle.

 

[Findog]

Believe it or not many, perhaps most women online, although they wont admit it, just want to get laid just like you do. If you dont give out a sexual vibe early on they will get bored and just wait for the next guy to bang them silly.

Did you try to kiss any of these women on the first date? Did you use kino or made it clear that you were sexually interested early on? Did you look at them with lustful eyes letting them know that you wanted to bang them then and there? Or did you hide your sexuality thinking that they would get offended if you tried to show it too soon?.

Let me tell you something from my own experience with women both on and off line. I dont remember the last time a woman whom I dated ever refusing a followup date when I made a sexual move on her. I remember a multitude of dates with women where I played the part of the polite non sexual nice guy who never returned my calls after the first date.

BE A MAN. DONT BE AFRAID TO EXPRESS YOUR SEXUALITY. It will take you farther in the relationship than you can imagine.

This is very good advice. I find the best approach is to just assume the girl likes you and is interested, whether that's actually the case initially or not. Sometimes they may be on the fence and being assertive and showing interest makes all the difference over playing it safe and trying to be non-threatening.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear WiesMan,
I have been in your situation many times in life...I enthusiastically agree with Second Half..."Chemistry = sexual attraction. That's it.When I use online dating, I get multiple plates going immediately."....
But when Collossus says"As for the "chemistry" thing, I think it's just a function of how well you get along and how intense the sexual attraction is."I cannot fully agree,Chemistry does exist,Love at First Sight is the rationalisation of this and when you meet someone that you instantly click with,the whole is more than the sum of the parts....There is something quite mysterious about such attraction,it can occur in nano seconds,and is incapable of rationalisation,it is not so much attraction but recognition...In my more spiritual moments I feel it is seeing someone who you knew and perhaps loved in some previous existence,or whose memory has lingered in the ether and has wondered in some way into your subconscious....Such meetings have occurred very seldom in my life,once as a Child of eleven years I was on a Bus and a young Girl got on,I am still in love with her...The Lady who I currently see a lot of was a similar situation,I just saw her crossing a lawn and something clicked......OK many of you rationalists will be unable to comprehend this,perhaps it will always be a mystery to you,like the love of the Tango or the music of classical composers...Pity.

 

[Jaylan]

For me chemistry = how much I connect with a woman on a total level. Mentally, emotionally, and physically. I know theres chemistry when I absolutely am enthralled by her mind and her body. Also, when I feel compelled to date her exclusively--because that feeling doesnt happen often for me. Its just when you absolutely gotta have all there is to have from a woman.

I mean sure there are women I just want to sleep with and its only physical attraction and nothing more. But whenever I have legit "clicked" with a girl I usually say how we had great chemistry.

Whenever its purely physical I dont really use the word chemistry and if I do I say "physical chemistry" or "sexual chemistry".

Also, in my experience when girls talk about chemistry they refer to the whole package of attraction.