Dale Carneige rules vs Being BOLD.

[Rainman4707]

Dale Carneige vs Being bold.

Dale carneige has taught me more than most authors. His books are some of the best stuff I've read, if not the best.
I try my best to follow his advice, but sometimes find myself getting frustrated, thinking stop *****footing around & be bold. There is only one of you in this world. You are different to everybody else, so stop skirting around the issue & be bold.

I have given this a lot of thought & I think it's best to be bold sometimes & other times use carneige's methods.

I.e 1 Your GF's mother is covertly having a dig at you. Do you be bold & speak your mind. Take no prisoners in this life. Speak as you find. Don't mess around. Warrior tells us to be bold in life. STOP listening to all the self help bulls*it & speak YOUR FUC8ING MIND. STOP LISTENING TO WHAT OTHERS ARE TELLING YOU OR ADVISING YOU TO DO & USE YOUR OWN FU8KING MIND!! YOUR MIND IS THE MOST FUC*ING AMAZING THING ON THIS GREEN EARTH! BE BOLD!
Listen to a few of Warriors video on youtube & you'll see what I mean. By warrior I mean the former wrestler known as the Ultimate Warrior who inspired people with his injections of inspiration videos on youtube.
Warrior wasn't one to skirt around the issue. He would tell you exactly what he thought.

Carneige though tells you to try & see the other persons point of view first. That is one of his many techniques.

Carneige tells us not to condemn, complain or criticize. That is how to win friends & influence people.

I've studied, internalised & applied Carneige's rules.
They have helped me. Sometimes though I just feel like speaking my mind & being bold.

You can give hints to people like if you find an employee is being messy. Instead of giving him a piece of your mind, You lead by example. I do believe this is great advice from carneige, but some employees/people just don't get the fuc*ing message. Sometimes I think it's better to be bold.

Any thoughts on this subject Don juans??

Thanks Rainman.

 

[Billtx49]

You lead by example.

The guiding principle of USMC leadership is leading by example, using good judgement, and being verbally bold. Works well in battle.
In civialian, social, and workplace conditions it can be different though. Bottom line is if you're Bold, it lets others know you have two very large brass balls they will have to deal with.

Carnegie and bold should be the two opposing outer limits of how you speak and act, including everything in between. Learn to trust your own judgement on how to react to each situation you face in life and what approach to take.

Have a warriors heart, but be willing to talk and accept peace.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Your GF's mother is covertly having a dig at you. Do you be bold & speak your mind.

No, because doing so would break my rule of not taking a woman's words seriously. If you let her get under your skin, you lose before you open your mouth, no matter what you say.

 

[Who Dares Win]

Your question is totally legit, sometime I ask myself the same.

Carnegies rules allow you to limit the number of enemies and often defuse some of them and turn them neutral however we are warm blooded creatures not machines and once in a while it just take conflict to make things clear.

An other problem I notice is that certain people appreciate diplomacy and reward it with other diplomacy while others clearly coming from different backrounds see it as weakness therefore a reason to insist and increase certain unwelcome behaviours.

What I consider the best option now is go carnegie at the beginning even for the first few steps and if not respected back slowly turn less agreeable and more hostile, if the other person notice the change and cease to be hostile then slowly go back to carnegie mode while if such person is simply looking for conflict then the choice is no longer yours so go ape on them.

 

[SmooveMooves]

STOP listening to all the self help bulls*it & speak YOUR FUC8ING MIND. STOP LISTENING TO WHAT OTHERS ARE TELLING YOU OR ADVISING YOU TO DO & USE YOUR OWN FU8KING MIND!!

The irony

 

[Julian]

Your GF's mother is covertly having a dig at you. Do you be bold & speak your mind.

No, because doing so would break my rule of not taking a woman's words seriously. If you let her get under your skin, you lose before you open your mouth, no matter what you say.

uhh not really. ive verbally owned and left speechless multiple females. no point in engaging them but dropping devestating 1 liners really is the most effective way to deal with these situations in my view point. and entertaining as fuk lol.

 

[Trunks]

uhh not really. ive verbally owned and left speechless multiple females. no point in engaging them but dropping devestating 1 liners really is the most effective way to deal with these situations in my view point. and entertaining as fuk lol.

Reminds of a definition from urbandictionary:

Man*****: A man who pretends to care about what comes out of a woman's mouth, but only cares about what goes in.

 

[Von]

Carnegie rules are all bold material but in a gentle way.

Confidence, respect, seductive

It's all about getting what you want while making others look good

Definitely every year reread

 

[fastlife]

Totally contextual. Experience with both until you find the balance that best works for you & develop the instincts for when either approach might be best suited.

Same thing as 'direct' vs 'indirect' game. Which is better. Both have their strengths & weakness & are better suited to different contexts. Same thing as 'attraction' vs 'comfort.'

What I find works best is a 2/3 blend in either direction. Come in bold like a DGAF azzhole & when I slip into rapport & it turns out I'm not a raging d1ckhead, people will value that rapport. Or come in smooth & socially savvy & then throw in some hard escalation/breaks in rapport & that will make that boldness all the more exciting. Is a girl shy? Is she a crazy party girl? Is she with c0ckblock friends? Is she with friends who want to see her get laid to get over her sh1tty exbf? Do you work in an office? Do you work in construction? Is your boss a diplomat? Is your boss an azzhole? Things to consider.

 

[Rainman4707]

It's like the school bully. you can put up with only so much before you knock him the f*** out!!

 

[Fatal Jay]

To be honest Dale Carnegie and Napoleon Hill are the only two authors that I have gotten vast value from, and Napoleon Hill worked under Carnegie for years before he broke off and became successful