Daily Routine or Meeting Women

[waynejohn]

Another question I had was about how you should meet women.

I've read that you should build a life and meet women where ever you go. That's great, but I have a life and do things I like. I just don't meet women like that. And I'm not down for changing my routine and hobbies just to meet women. That's being dishonest to myself.

Is it wrong to specifically take some time out of your day to go somewhere just to meet women? The one time I tried that and was asked by a girl what I was up to, I answered honestly that "I came to the mall to meet a cool girl." Things went downhill from there.

So I am definitely confused. As a man, no one is expected to hold your hand. You have to go out and get what you want. But at the same time, it's like when you go out to get a woman, you get punished for it.

 

[Tesl]

I've read that you should build a life and meet women where ever you go. That's great, but I have a life and do things I like. I just don't meet women like that. And I'm not down for changing my routine and hobbies just to meet women. That's being dishonest to myself.

Out of curiosity, what are your hobbies and what is your routine?

Does it not involve leaving the house?

 

[seagull]

Is it wrong to specifically take some time out of your day to go somewhere just to meet women? The one time I tried that and was asked by a girl what I was up to, I answered honestly that "I came to the mall to meet a cool girl." Things went downhill from there.

I have a lot of hobbies that occupy my time and do not meet many women from them e.g. playing soccer, badminton, gym, studying, etc. So no, it's not wrong. Just don't make it take over your whole life.

 

[kingsam]

Another question I had was about how you should meet women.

I've read that you should build a life and meet women where ever you go. That's great, but I have a life and do things I like. I just don't meet women like that. And I'm not down for changing my routine and hobbies just to meet women. That's being dishonest to myself.

Is it wrong to specifically take some time out of your day to go somewhere just to meet women? The one time I tried that and was asked by a girl what I was up to, I answered honestly that "I came to the mall to meet a cool girl." Things went downhill from there.

So I am definitely confused. As a man, no one is expected to hold your hand. You have to go out and get what you want. But at the same time, it's like when you go out to get a woman, you get punished for it.

so your "true self" doesnt meet women ? ... im sure you'd be much happier if your "ture self" met women yeh?
so its time to alter (lets call it improve) your true self a little so you go and meet women...

this reminds me of some one saying to a nice guy AFC, "just be yourself", well if being your self is pointless then its a bad idea and he needs to change "himself"...(hope that makes sense)
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id be interested to know what your hobbies are too!

 

[mikeyb]

You can always try to meet women that enjoy the same thing you do. Join a club, go to events related to your hobbies, etc.

 

[zekko]

so your "true self" doesnt meet women ? ... im sure you'd be much happier if your "ture self" met women yeh?
so its time to alter (lets call it improve) your true self a little so you go and meet women...

Yeah, if you want to meet women you need to put yourself in positions where you will meet women. Think of it as something you deserve for being such a cool guy.

Don't say "I came to the mall to meet a cool girl" though. That reeks of neediness and desperation (not saying you're desperate, it just looks desperate). Just say you're out shopping for a shirt or whatever.

 

[waynejohn]

Out of curiosity, what are your hobbies and what is your routine?

Does it not involve leaving the house?

To answer your question, no my routine does not prevent me from leaving the house.

I have an office job at a small accounting firm. I am a volunteer jv wrestling coach at a local high school and I enjoy playing card games - poker, bridge, pinochle. Besides that, I just hang out with my friends and go to the gym.

There is a cute girl at one of my card games, but she comes with her boyfriend. He's cool and I'm not interested in just meeting one chick at random. I want to be able to know that I can go and meet a chick I want.

Plus, the few times I go out with friends to bars, there are only white chicks. Not to mention I don't like noisy, crowded bars and clubs. I want to meet chicks that are Spanish, Black, Indian.

I really don't meet many women during my day. Especially not the kind that I want.

so your "true self" doesnt meet women ?

I have a lot of personal things I have to deal with, and a lot of goals I want to achieve outside of dating. I don't have the time or inclination to start doing all sorts of extra activities with the goal of meeting women.

I'd much rather set out a block of time in my week for that purpose specifically. And that seems more honest to me anyway. But then people say that is needy and desperate.

You can always try to meet women that enjoy the same thing you do. Join a club, go to events related to your hobbies, etc.

I'm sorry. There are no attractive women lined up outside of my local high school wanting to coach boys wrestling.


When I walk down the street, I see lots of girls that I'd want to talk to. But I don't meet them in common activities. My cold approaches have been abysmal - confidence crushing, actually. There have been some Spanish chicks that outright ignored me on the subway a few times. That sh*t is rough, to be stuck is a small space with all these people looking at you, and you trying to talk to a girl who isn't even making eye contact.

 

[Korrupt]

Sounds like you're making a lot of excuses. Look, no-one but you cares if you meet women or not. Make an effort or don't, it's up to you and no-one cares.

 

[waynejohn]

Sounds like you're making a lot of excuses. Look, no-one but you cares if you meet women or not. Make an effort or don't, it's up to you and no-one cares.

There are people trying to help each other here, whether you are here for that or not.

I am meeting women. But I am not having success and am getting conflicting advice. It's making me confused and unsure about everything.

Last week, I went out to meet girls at the mall. Things didn't work out, and I was told that I shouldn't specifically go out just to meet women. I should meet them during my day. Develop hobbies, interests, etc... That I should put myself first, focus on my life.

I already have hobbies, interests, a life. I am looking for input from people that have had a similar experience. You are missing the point, and your criticism is not constructive at all. I don't even know why you took the time to write a post. This board exists for like-minded people to seek help in achieving certain things.

You are not in a position to judge whether I make an effort to accomplish anything in my life.

 

[zekko]

I'd much rather set out a block of time in my week for that purpose specifically. And that seems more honest to me anyway. But then people say that is needy and desperate.

Not sure if you're referring to my comment, but just in case you are:

I'm NOT saying that going to the mall or setting aside time to specifically approach women is needy or desperate. In fact, it's probably a heckuva good idea, especially if you're doing some sort of bootcamp type exercise.

What I'm saying is don't TELL the girl you're specifically out to meet girls, that can make you LOOK needy or desperate. It makes you look like you don't have any options. And even if you don't, the girl doesn't have to know that. That is not attractive. You want to present yourself as a desireable guy. Plus girls like it better if they think these things happen spontaneously. You're out shopping, see a girl you like, and start talking.

The other thing I would say is that a lot of the advice here can be given very bluntly. It's a tough love environment. Even if the guy comes off like a jackass, there is often something to be learned from what he says. It's a good idea to keep a thick skin.

 

[Being_the_Don]

To answer your question, no my routine does not prevent me from leaving the house.

I have an office job at a small accounting firm. I am a volunteer jv wrestling coach at a local high school and I enjoy playing card games - poker, bridge, pinochle. Besides that, I just hang out with my friends and go to the gym.

There is a cute girl at one of my card games, but she comes with her boyfriend. He's cool and I'm not interested in just meeting one chick at random. I want to be able to know that I can go and meet a chick I want.

Plus, the few times I go out with friends to bars, there are only white chicks. Not to mention I don't like noisy, crowded bars and clubs. I want to meet chicks that are Spanish, Black, Indian.

I really don't meet many women during my day. Especially not the kind that I want.



I have a lot of personal things I have to deal with, and a lot of goals I want to achieve outside of dating. I don't have the time or inclination to start doing all sorts of extra activities with the goal of meeting women.

I'd much rather set out a block of time in my week for that purpose specifically. And that seems more honest to me anyway. But then people say that is needy and desperate.




I'm sorry. There are no attractive women lined up outside of my local high school wanting to coach boys wrestling.


When I walk down the street, I see lots of girls that I'd want to talk to. But I don't meet them in common activities. My cold approaches have been abysmal - confidence crushing, actually. There have been some Spanish chicks that outright ignored me on the subway a few times. That sh*t is rough, to be stuck is a small space with all these people looking at you, and you trying to talk to a girl who isn't even making eye contact.

I'd be tempted to tell you to hang in there if you hadn't come onto my thread and called me a "lost cause". If the women you're attracted to are the ones you really want, you'll get over whatever it is that is troubling you and go for it. If you place too much value on others then you'll base your self-worth on their opinion and likely come up short every time.

 

[AFCToDJSlowButSurely]

how the f can you not meet women playing badminton bro, i go to a club every Friday where the women are = to or outnumber the men, maybe you should find a different place to play...

and studying there is always tons of girls at the library, sit near them, not a big deal. ive gotten so many numbers from women that i sat next to or sat next to me in the school library. its about my fav place to pickup lol.

and go to the mall to get a shirt or something for you, i went there yesterday to get setup with a new cell phone plan and said hey to this girl i know that works there since i was there anyway, she is into me(has a bf too) haha. I couldve picked up this other girl there too but i didnt really give a **** tbh. Make things about you, not like im gonna go there just to talk to some *****, i go to get hats and stuff for me, talking to women is just a bonus.

most importantly smile and be happy, be in a good mood, people enjoy being around that and it makes you much more approachable/increases receptiveness to your approaches. gl

 

[kingsam]

DO NOT "SET TIME" TO MEET WOMEN, you need to be always on the look out for interaction opportunities.
that is a wrongly quantitive way of seeing a mostly qualitive interaction/communication ...

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and spanish chicks are white!

 

[catman]

none of those kids u coach have cute mommies?:yes:

 

[mikeyb]

none of those kids u coach have cute mommies?:yes:

Single moms?? He's better off alone.