Cutting off all contact but got a mortgage

[stevey_2000]

So anyway i'm trying to cut off all contact with my ex LTR as depicted in this thread:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=62412

but as we had a mortgage together and basically have still got to meet to sign things over (another 2 times should do it!!), i have been ok about it up until tonight when i met her for signing a few things she was with this guy who i only imagine could be her new 'fella', ok i kept the c&f going and showing her i wasn't bothered but it did hurt me deep inside to see this,

now though i still have to see her another 2 times to sign things over and i know she's using this as an excuse to keep in contact with me (i usually just send her one worded texts not to tell her my business)

what would you more expierienced DJ's do to get through this as i can't cut off contact until everything get's signed over,

this is a tricky scenario,

Ste.

 

[Desdinova]

Well, keep doing what you're doing. Limit all contact with her to business. This 5hit happens, but it doesn't last. Grit your teeth and keep your head up. Once the business aspect of the relationship is over, the entire relationship is over. Look forward to that day!

 

[stevey_2000]

cheers mate!!,

well i've cut off all contact but she has been getting in contact almost 1/2 a day because she wants me still to think about her (she must be thinking of me to keep getting in touch), we have more-or-less signed everything now but she keeps bringing stupid-a$$ excuses (today she told me to send all her pictures i have of her back) into play to keep in contact (i think!!),

i realise there is a thing called 'ganji games?' which i didn't know i was doing but seems to be taking effect, is there still a chance i could win this girl back using this technique or what would be the best thing to do as i have my mates, i am doing things with and have loads of hobbies to keep my mind occupied, hence why i'm not getting in touch,

what do my fellow DJ's think?

 

[Desdinova]

You've tried to build a life with this woman, and it hasn't worked. What makes you think it's going to work in the future? Better to cut all contact and move on. I agree, it hurts like hell and I've been through it. Women love to drag out the ending of a relationship as long as they can.

What I did when it came to my ex's belongings is I simply mailed them to her, or I gave them to one of her relatives. This way, you don't have to worry about contacting her, and it gets her 5hit out of your place.

Don't return her calls, don't call her, and get your number changed. You've already taken one step into a new life, now continue to walk.

 

[PeeGee]

It's very important you not lose sight of what your mission is -- to get over her. When and if you break up, there's usually a reason, and disregarding whether it's you (and that you think you've changed), or her (and that you changed your mind), the same problems will continue.

I was 'nice' enough to try to bridge the friendship with my ex after treating her like crap the entire summer, ultimately leading to her inviting me a thanksgiving dinner (Canada's Thanksgiving is in October). When she didn't show, and instead TEXTED me the excuse, I said 'fck this' and proceeded to block her from all forms of contact with me (IMs, phone).

Once this business thing is over, do the same.

 

[Soma]

Word on what Des said. Cut the contact unless absolutely necessary. Give all her shiet back or to her relatives in swoop and be done with it. Once the whole mortgage thing is done with never contact her again. So that she doesn't keep calling your phone or trying to contact you lay it bare. You need time to get over everything and seeing/talking to her isn't helping. Tell her NOT to contact you. Don't be flimsy about this and try to be sly and leave a way "out" so she can somehow have an excuse to get a hold of you. Tell her in NO UNCERTAIN terms that it is COMPELTELY over and that you do NOT want any contact with her whatsoever.

Then go have yourself one good, final cry about your relationship. Get it all out. Scream, kick, do whatever. Let it all out. Then move on. Go out with your buddies and have a good time. Talk to some women. Date some women. Before you know it you'll be over your ex and won't care who she's bonin.

 

[NewMan]

I understand your plight.

Realise:

* She doesn't want you back. She just wants to check up on you to make sure your still thinking of her and pinning over her.

* The fact that she brought a guy to sign the documents shows how classless she is. She wants to rub it in. You did well.

* You think you want her back now. It's a new wound. But give ti time you will see you made the correct decision.

* Don't let her get to you. Always put up a strong front. Don't show weakness or emotion.

* Finish up your business sh#t. Give her stuff back (next time you have to meet her to sign) then never contact her again. This last part is the most important part. Not only for you emotionally but so that you don't break and loose any self respect you have.


You'll be fine. Keep it up.

 

[KingPinp]

Originally posted by stevey_2000
cheers mate!!,

well i've cut off all contact but she has been getting in contact almost 1/2 a day because she wants me still to think about her (she must be thinking of me to keep getting in touch), we have more-or-less signed everything now but she keeps bringing stupid-a$$ excuses (today she told me to send all her pictures i have of her back) into play to keep in contact (i think!!),

i realise there is a thing called 'ganji games?' which i didn't know i was doing but seems to be taking effect, is there still a chance i could win this girl back using this technique or what would be the best thing to do as i have my mates, i am doing things with and have loads of hobbies to keep my mind occupied, hence why i'm not getting in touch,

what do my fellow DJ's think?

Going back to Ex-anything is a mistake

Once upon a time there was this relationship. Something went wrong in this perfect relationship and two star crossed lovers were forced to go their separate ways. Now the lovers(or one of the lovers) are having second thoughts and think that they should start going out again.

Suppose a milk went bad in your fridge and you took it out and threw it away. If you changed your mind next morning would you put it back in the fridge? No, you would throw that stinky **** into trash.

 

[stevey_2000]

UPDATE...

you won't believe this fellow DJ's, just when everything is signed, sealed and finished (the mortgage) i tell her not to contact me again, 3 days later she sends me a text saying 'i miss you', i delete the text, the next day my phone rings from her, i cut off the line,

i tell everyone here that women are out to 'feed' off men's ego's, when the breakup happens the female species are over the moon that the male is rid and the ego's are shot down in flames, when they think the male has stopped pining over them and moving on, it hurts them like f*** and all that the female thinks is attraction all over again for that male!!,

what makes the female's act in this way, i tell you?

she was obviously a psycho so i'm planning just one more 'goodbye and take care of yourself' e-mail to bang the bi***es ego down the ground like she has done mine,

would this be allowed in the rules?

Ste.

 

[frivolousz21]

this is the tough one..

part of me wants to tell you..no just let it go..never speak to her again.

part of me is mean...lol well maybe not mean..but stick it to the *****.

alright my advice..let it go..you are much better off now

 

[Desdinova]

Read my "The Word Goodbye" post
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=63522

she was obviously a psycho so i'm planning just one more 'goodbye and take care of yourself' e-mail to bang the bi***es ego down the ground like she has done mine,

Why bother? She's already swimming around in her escalated emotions over this issue. Let her stew in her own juices.

 

[stevey_2000]

Desdiniva,

Cheers mate for your input and it seems as though we've both been in the same circumstances, it's very nice to shoot a girl down who tried to shoot you down

but the word goodbye would 'seal an end to the chapter' as you stated in your thread so would it not suit the scenario best?, to get her even more telling her i plan to move to spain next march maybe for good, that would ensure that i'm very happy to move on from her!

btw, i'm loving this

 

[Desdinova]

You've already told her goodbye (telling her not to contact you is the same thing). Let her swim around in her thoughts and emotions for you. If you continue to respond to her, you're going to soothe her emotions and let her know that she still has control over you.

Stick to your word. You told her not to contact you again. Force her to obey you by closing all doors. You'll be leaving a door open for her to contact you if you respond.

 

[Blue Phoenix]

Did she called?

Holy sh!t man!

This is a BAIT!

She wants to see if you still have feelings for her. DON'T GO BACK! If you do, she'll dump you again! She will try to make you go back to her to see if she still can control you!

This AW is playing games again!

IGNORE her completely, she can't stand it.

 

[stevey_2000]

cheers guys!,

blue pheonix:

i know this is bait, perhaps she is meaning to hurt me again, perhaps she's not (more yes than no, i know) that's why i've gone 1 1/2 months totally ignoring her and not contacting her, it's driven her insane and she's going to extremes to boost her ego, she would take me back but for how long??

i'm in control mate and thanx for advising me as it only strengthens my case not to go back, it's just nice to see me not giving her attention like all her ex's have done (they we're all in contact while she was 'engaged' to me, waiting for her to get rid of me so they can try again for her, suckers!!), perhaps we should launch a campaign to show just how lethal AW's are to mankind?, i know to definitely keep clear and sympathise with ANYONE who is her next 'victim',

i have now 100% got over this women and don't even plan to date any women for the forseeable future but to hang out and enjoy myself with my buddies and pump my frustrations at the gym,

the thing is, if i didn't come across this site, i would have probably have gone after her and got caught in the AFC's who are probably knocking on her door for another chance, haha!

but my next worry i suppose is this girl could possibly try to goto extreme's to get me back, has anyone come across this before?,

Ste.

 

[Blue Phoenix]

It's just nice to see me not giving her attention like all her ex's have done (they we're all in contact while she was 'engaged' to me, waiting for her to get rid of me so they can try again for her, suckers!!), perhaps we should launch a campaign to show just how lethal AW's are to mankind?, i know to definitely keep clear and sympathise with ANYONE who is her next 'victim',

Good man! I'm telling you this because the psycho one I've met STILL sends me some emails in every 3 months, after I moved on completely! They are so control freak/insecure that they must have all guys arround her, even ALL her ex-es.

Let's be DJs not Symps. If she's not interested we move on, no friends thing, no nothing, at least with those types (AWs)!

Mosts Aws are swingers, did you know that? It's very interesting!