Cut loose or carry on pursuing lightly?

[SoulMan13]

So there's this girl I've been gaming. She's been flirting with me, sending me IOI's, texting me constantly etc and from her actions you would of thought she was interested. However, I heard rumblings about her with another guy so I asked her if she was single to cut to the chase and she said shes "kind of seeing someone at the moment" which sounds as of she's not that committed or just waiting for a better off to come around. How should I reply to this text? I'm the kind of person that likes a challenge and likes to get what he wants so I weirdly find it attractive that she's may be with another guy but if its a completely lost cause I will just let go.

 

[TheException]

Go no contact. She's a waste of your time.

She clearly is not interested. If she was....even if she was seeing another guy....she would never tell you that.

Going forward dont gauge a woman's interest level on flirting, IOI's, etc. Consider that POTENTIAL INTEREST. The only way you know for sure is by making a move....the things that count as high interest:
-making out
-getting bl0wjobs
-sex

Obviously I dont mean that to be the ONLY signs of high interest but I think you get the point. And dont ask "are you single" ever again....just assume she is and act accordingly. If she doesnt want to hookup with you....shes low interest and you now know not to waste your time.

 

[SoulMan13]

Go no contact. She's a waste of your time.

She clearly is not interested. If she was....even if she was seeing another guy....she would never tell you that.

Going forward dont gauge a woman's interest level on flirting, IOI's, etc. Consider that POTENTIAL INTEREST. The only way you know for sure is by making a move....the things that count as high interest:
-making out
-getting bl0wjobs
-sex

Obviously I dont mean that to be the ONLY signs of high interest but I think you get the point. And dont ask "are you single" ever again....just assume she is and act accordingly. If she doesnt want to hookup with you....shes low interest and you now know not to waste your time.

No contact would be quite hard. We are in a lot of the same classes together, have been assigned on projects together etc and I don't to look like a little b!tch if you know what I mean. Any other way to deal with this situation? And the "are you single" part was because I heard things and Im not into wasting my time and wanted to know what I was dealing with.

 

[SoulMan13]

Update: I replied to the girl.

Me: Aw that's so cute! It looks like were going to have to keep our little thing on the DL now!
Her: Ahahaha you ass! What about you, are you single?xox

So, if she's "kind of seeing" this other dude like she said why is she trying to pursue a conversation with me. Also, why would she care if I was single or not and why didn't she shoot me down when I mentioned "our little thing"? Do you think this ones for the taking?

Also, how should I reply to her text? I am spinning plates but I'm not exactly currently "dating" or "seeing" anyone but should I tell her I'm dating anyway or just leave her guessing?

 

[DonJuanit0]

Go no contact. She's a waste of your time.

She clearly is not interested. If she was....even if she was seeing another guy....she would never tell you that.

Going forward dont gauge a woman's interest level on flirting, IOI's, etc. Consider that POTENTIAL INTEREST. The only way you know for sure is by making a move....the things that count as high interest:
-making out
-getting bl0wjobs
-sex

Obviously I dont mean that to be the ONLY signs of high interest but I think you get the point. And dont ask "are you single" ever again....just assume she is and act accordingly. If she doesnt want to hookup with you....shes low interest and you now know not to waste your time.

I will disagree!

Going no contact will achieve nothing here! Again, going no contact without making your intentions clear?!?

Anyway, I believe that, she IS interested. She wouldn't say the exact words, "I kinda seeing someone" rather than a plain yes. She doesn't want to feel like a ***** like every other woman out there! She is being honest to you but to herself as well! Which is a good sign! If you want to interfere in a LTR is only your problem.

I believe some more action would get you where you want. Stop the talking and start the acting.

No one can be sure if she wants you or not, you can find out though!

 

[Bokanovsky]

So, if she's "kind of seeing" this other dude like she said why is she trying to pursue a conversation with me. Also, why would she care if I was single or not and why didn't she shoot me down when I mentioned "our little thing"? Do you think this ones for the taking?

Because she wants you to be her emasculated orbiter. Classic attention wh*re behaviour.

 

[SoulMan13]

Thanks for the advice/opinions.

She just text me saying, "Like I've been on a few dates and stuff with him Nothing serious yet though."

But meanwhile on Facebook the guy she is "seeing" (a mutual friend told me it was him) is posting status' such as "Me and my girl are keeping this our business" But yet she's telling me it's nothing serious. If anything it seems like he thinks she is committed but yet she's keeping her options open and opening the door up for me a bit. What do you think?

 

[Tomo]

A saying on this site I keep hearing is if you are posting a question about a certain HB then you have already lost her. From my point of view she sounds like one to lead you on all the while not having any intention to leave her current guy unless you have really good game and sweep her off your feet. How I'd carry on is to pursue lightly but with no intention of the end result. Find other girls, there are plenty out there. Escalate flirtatiously and kino and see how she responds when she is with you. From that you can gauge just how committed she is to the other guy and if you kiss close or end up sleeping with her well, then you'll definately know and should get a pat on the back!

 

[VladPatton]

Let it sit for a few days and try an insta-date: "hey, what's up, I really wanna grab a XXXX at XXXX later today, come with me at around 00:00" and see what she says.

Fluff talk is over, and you know where she stands. You basically have concrete competition, and if she gives you a chance you gotta be Mr. Funtime and blow that dude outta the water. If she's somewhat keen on you she'll give you a chance, if not, just say, "ok, see you around school" and be done with her. If she comes around later on, fine, mack her up again, and ask her out.

Nothing more you can do in this situation.

Good luck.

 

[Formerlyrossitheking]

Agree vlad. If you feel she is opening the door for you then walk in and ask her out.

If she says no. Walk out and knock on another door so to speak. That simple.

 

[rushing dude 123]

Keep going, when chicks say "I'm kind of seeing someone" or "I kind of have a boyfriend" It basically means pursue. It does depend a bit on the tone, but don't know how to detect that with text. However If she wasn't interested she would of simply said sorry I am not single.


My response would be "Ok kool, So how about I "kind of" see you for...(whatever date you have in mind), what days are you free?"

You should know where you stand with that, don't be afraid to take a risk, what do you have to lose? Chicks usually get hot for guys that try to steal them off these other "kind of" guys anyway.

The biggest thing you can waste bro is TIME, so I would rather go straight for the shot, than play some stupid waiting out game to see where this is going. O you are not interested...NEXT ... strolls up out of the house sees some hot chick "How you doing...babeahhh...!!!!"

 

[SoulMan13]

Well she just sent a text saying: "I'm not sure if I want anything serious with him yet I really like him so we'll see where it goes. Are you seeing anyone? xox" Then updated her Facebook status saying "Veryyy happy and lucky". I just don't understand why she is seeing this guy but constantly tries to prolong of conversation with me when I'm not replying to her.

Now I'm thinking this probably means she's unavailable. She's got a hot friend I wouldn't mind getting to know so I'm hesitant to ask her on a date as if I ask her and she rejects me then it may come across that I'm being petty, trying to make her jealous if I then ask out her friend.

So do you think this one is a lost cause? If so, I'm thinking NC is the best course of action so I can just move on but do you think I should tell her that I was interested in her and hit me up when you're single blah blah blah then go ghost or just ignore her text and go ghost from now on?

 

[pdx1138]

I'd go ghost and pursue her friend instead...that will set off her hamster if she's actually attracted to you.

Have fun with it.

 

[SoulMan13]

Thanks for the advice. Looks like NC from now on for me then.

 

[Mr_Stinky]

Go no contact. She's a waste of your time.

She clearly is not interested. If she was....even if she was seeing another guy....she would never tell you that.

Going forward dont gauge a woman's interest level on flirting, IOI's, etc. Consider that POTENTIAL INTEREST. The only way you know for sure is by making a move....the things that count as high interest:
-making out
-getting bl0wjobs
-sex

Obviously I dont mean that to be the ONLY signs of high interest but I think you get the point. And dont ask "are you single" ever again....just assume she is and act accordingly. If she doesnt want to hookup with you....shes low interest and you now know not to waste your time.

You may be my new favorite poster on this forum. Love your insights man

 

[HalfPUAHalfAFC]

Well she just sent a text saying: "I'm not sure if I want anything serious with him yet I really like him so we'll see where it goes. Are you seeing anyone? xox" Then updated her Facebook status saying "Veryyy happy and lucky". I just don't understand why she is seeing this guy but constantly tries to prolong of conversation with me when I'm not replying to her.

Now I'm thinking this probably means she's unavailable. She's got a hot friend I wouldn't mind getting to know so I'm hesitant to ask her on a date as if I ask her and she rejects me then it may come across that I'm being petty, trying to make her jealous if I then ask out her friend.

So do you think this one is a lost cause? If so, I'm thinking NC is the best course of action so I can just move on but do you think I should tell her that I was interested in her and hit me up when you're single blah blah blah then go ghost or just ignore her text and go ghost from now on?

Dude, she's telling you that's she's on the fence about this guy and if you don't step up your game she's going to decide on him.

She's sh!t-testing you, daring you to take her if you have the ballz.

Get her out, show her a fun time, kino/escalate, and close that sh!t. She's basically telling you that you can bang her if you got game. She's daring you, challenging your manhood to take what you want.

 

[TheCWord]

There are guys with legitimately complex, confusing girl problems on this site where there are no clear answers.

This is not one of them.

Ask her out. "Let's go for drinks. What days you got free this week?" If she lists days she's free, or if this week's busy and she counter-offers for next week, then it's game on. If she makes excuses then she just wants you as an orbiter, then you go NC.

 

[SoulMan13]

Are you sure about that? She definitely seems to be "loved up" with this guy even though the things she's been saying to me may suggest otherwise. She's been posting about how happy she is, putting up pics of a boy and a girl with a love heart in between them etc. However, I've saw her quite a few times around college and in class and she just stares at me. No smile or anything just a blank expressionless stare which I found weird. She's also started mimicking exactly how long I take to reply to her texts. For example, if I take 1 hour 13 mins she will reply in exactly 1 hour 13 mins and so on and she started following me on a few social networks this morning.

Like I said, I'm hesitant to ask her out on a date as I'm quite interested in her friend and I don't want to sabotage the opportunity to get something going with her by asking out a girl who is not even interested.

 

[VladPatton]

Are you sure about that? She definitely seems to be "loved up" with this guy even though the things she's been saying to me may suggest otherwise. She's been posting about how happy she is, putting up pics of a boy and a girl with a love heart in between them etc. However, I've saw her quite a few times around college and in class and she just stares at me. No smile or anything just a blank expressionless stare which I found weird. She's also started mimicking exactly how long I take to reply to her texts. For example, if I take 1 hour 13 mins she will reply in exactly 1 hour 13 mins and so on.

Like I said, I'm hesitant to ask her out on a date as I'm quite interested in her friend and I don't want to sabotage the opportunity to get something going with her by asking out a girl who is not even interested.

Those aren't good signs, however for experience purposes, just say fück it and ask her on a date anyway to see what happens. I'm curious to what she's do/say. If she nixes the idea, go for her friend, or just abort mission.