Current situation

[RicBoy]

Little update.
Yesterday mothers day, my son called me and asked if I could buy him some coins for the game he plays online with my ex's daughter. So I bought him. He also asked if I could buy to my ex's daughter. So I did.
I sent a text to her daughter with the voucher and asked how she was and said hi basically. She replied immediately with smiles and thanking me. Then she texted again asking when my son is moving here. I told her August.
I thought the kids were both behind computer playing their game.

But they weren't. My son told me he had called my ex's daughter just 5 minutes before and she was with my ex in the car driving home. So probably my ex knows I texted her daughter and good chance it was my ex who told her to ask me when my son moves here..

I have been in no contact for 3 months now.

Bottom of line, my ex will come around in August when my son moves here. It will be 6 months NC by then. It's guaranteed she will reach out to set play dates, either she will come by or ill come over her place. And probably her daughter will stay at my place sometimes and my son at my ex's house. The way the kids interact nearly on daily basis, it's almost for sure there will be playdates twice a month at least from August on.

I really would like some advice how to act when I see my ex, how to talk to her, etc efc during the kid's exchange

 

[Visionist]

Just keep things cool and businesslike. She treated you poorly and you need to move on. Don't go into her house or invite her into yours. Don't ask how she's been or tell her how you've been. Don't say "it's good to see you". Just talk briefly and only about how the children have been playing together, then be on your way.

I can tell you want to mess this up for yourself again. You've been given the best advice you'll ever get in this thread, but until you crash and burn yet again it won't sink in. You won't listen.

 

[RicBoy]

Just keep things cool and businesslike. She treated you poorly and you need to move on. Don't go into her house or invite her into yours. Don't ask how she's been or tell her how you've been. Don't say "it's good to see you". Just talk briefly and only about how the children have been playing together, then be on your way.

I can tell you want to mess this up for yourself again. You've been given the best advice you'll ever get in this thread, but until you crash and burn yet again it won't sink in. You won't listen.

Sounds like good advice, thanks a lot. I'll keep it businesslike indeed. I don't wanna sound like a broken record. But I think after a few play dates she is probably going to invite me inside he replace for coffee, she is not gonna let me be at her doorstep forever.. But let's see how things play out

 

[mikey2012]

Think of all the bad things she did.

 

[RicBoy]

Think of all the bad things she did.

I wasn't at my best either lol.
Called her fat bixt and pushed her during an argument etc.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I wasn't at my best either lol.
Called her fat bixt and pushed her during an argument etc.

Your still talking about her? It keeps it alive every day you mention it. Try to go 30 days without a mention or even typing it. Replace it with something you need to be doing for yourself.

 

[RicBoy]

3 months no contact today. This chit is getting harder. I'm really tempted to send a text to test the waters. She will come around in 3 months to pick up my son when he moves here. So I'm gonna see her anyways soon.

 

[RicBoy]

It's been hard. I guess what keeps me going silent is that I know she will come around In August for the kids and there will be more tension if I'm quiet until then. Will be 6 months NC by then

 

[Visionist]

You need a hobby.

 

[RicBoy]

It's just hurts that not one word from her in 3 months. Not a single peep

 

[mrgoodstuff]

It's been hard. I guess what keeps me going silent is that I know she will come around In August for the kids and there will be more tension if I'm quiet until then. Will be 6 months NC by then

Still talking about her. You could be talking about the new babe that treats you way better, that you can't keep your hands off of.

 

[RicBoy]

Still talking about her. You could be talking about the new babe that treats you way better, that you can't keep your hands off of.

I also couldn't keep my hands off of my ex that's why she got smothered lmao
She actually used to tell me that I physically grab her too much. Maybe I have issues man. She was cooking, there was grabbing ter boobs, she was in the living room, there I was fingering her, she goes to the balcony smoking, there I am with her. I don't know what happened to me, I lost myself in this girl big time.. I'm idiot

 

[bcude]

You will continue to be in pain as long as you are obsessed with her.

May as well just text her today, get rejected again. Text her weekly. Get it out of your sytem.

This may actually be the best advice since all the logic in the world wont work on our hurting friend here. He's still fixated on the day she will contact him to set a playdate for the children. He doesn't want to move on and that's the problem here.
Sometimes a second harsh rejection makes us go from fantasy land into reality where we can move on for real.

 

[Baibars]

He should text her ASAP and as often as possible. This way he'll get rejected faster and hopefully more aggressively.
Otherwise he'll go NC for the rest of his life waiting for her.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I also couldn't keep my hands off of my ex that's why she got smothered lmao
She actually used to tell me that I physically grab her too much. Maybe I have issues man. She was cooking, there was grabbing ter boobs, she was in the living room, there I was fingering her, she goes to the balcony smoking, there I am with her. I don't know what happened to me, I lost myself in this girl big time.. I'm idiot

I meant to say a woman that can't keep her hands off you.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

This may actually be the best advice since all the logic in the world wont work on our hurting friend here. He's still fixated on the day she will contact him to set a playdate for the children. He doesn't want to move on and that's the problem here.
Sometimes a second harsh rejection makes us go from fantasy land into reality where we can move on for real.

This is a problem cured by "new puzzy". Because he doesn't have a real problem, it's all in his head.

 

[RicBoy]

Maybe not a real problem. But it's my personality. I'm very obsessive person. I tend to fall fast for the girl, too much affection and smothered them. They lose interest and bounce. Big part of it is because I was unemployed and and nothing going on while dating so I saw my relationship as my salvation. This puts a lot of pressure on the girl.

Anyways I don't know how but I need to move on

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Maybe not a real problem. But it's my personality. I'm very obsessive person. I tend to fall fast for the girl, too much affection and smothered them. They lose interest and bounce. Big part of it is because I was unemployed and and nothing going on while dating so I saw my relationship as my salvation. This puts a lot of pressure on the girl.

Anyways I don't know how but I need to move on

Easiest in my experience by a "new one". While you stay in a "Vacuum" your last thoughts of women is HER. You have to add new recent memories in the realm of women and romance.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Easiest in my experience by a "new one". While you stay in a "Vacuum" your last thoughts of women is HER. You have to add new recent memories in the realm of women and romance.

You can add hobbies, personal growth, social groups, etc, make a shyt ton of progress, be busy all day. And in those idle moments, your mind will go to women and romance and it's most recent reference is of HER. That's why it's so important to add another. Once you make enough new memories with the new lady, your memories of her will be more minimized and not so strong.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

If you can't respect yourself enough to quit lusting after this one-woman who doesn't want you, instead of focusing on yourself and finding a woman who DOES want you, then I agree the best course of action is to message her daily and until it is finally clear to you that she will never be interested in you again no matter what you do. Maybe her repeated rejections of you will finally make you feel how pitiful this is and thus serve as the motivation you need to start respecting yourself and move-on.