Curious Situation

[PatientOne]

Hello all. I became recently separated from my wife, so I have been out of the game for a bit, but always watched for cues from other women, mostly to avoid *****s.

There is a situation where different women come around, daily,and one of them seems very comfortable around me. I know that some women are just like that, but she does a lot of what I call, validation.

For example, I will say A or B, and she will say that A or B happens in her life well. She also sensed that I am open to discussing controversial topics, and does so with me whenever we are in the same room. She randomly texts, or sends funny things. Not everyday, but on many days. I usually answer her, but I keep it brief. I will sometimes randomly send her something funny, but if I don't hear from her, I usually ignore her. She also lives a good distance away, but often mentions moving out in my direction.

She also mentioned an ex that wants to get back with her, which I took as:

1. She isn't interested, and mentioned him as part of a casual conversation.

2. She mentioned him because she is interested, but at the time I was unattainable.

3. She mentioned him as a way to say, hurry up.

She also showed me a pic of her with this guy, in addition to a pic of another ex. They are both douches for different reasons. I am also recovering from an accident, and she is very encouraging (pity?) She also brings me food, which is new.

As I recently split, I am not looking to rebound, but this woman is really cool, but maybe she is trouble. She might have sensed issues between me and my wife, because, you know, women.

She will be around, and I know that attraction can wane when things aren't happening. I'm fine with it, since there are many single women out there. Right now, I am curious and trying to figure her out.

Any thoughts? Questions?

 

[sazc]

My spider sense is tingling. Sounds like she is mirroring you in an effort to pull you in hard. That's hallmark female-with-issues behavior

 

[lizardking82]

So you're in a dramatic situation in your life and GO FIND OUT HOW! this woman who HAPPENS to have these douchy ex boyfriends, shows up and puts her foot forward. I would say just one thing and although it may sound "heartless", I am saying this to protect you, not her: nothing more than get laid with this woman. Do not develop feelings with her or you're right on the way to the collection of the ex-es pics and will be shown as her third ex in line to her next victim LOL

 

[Glassguy]

Agree......ask her out for a drink, get hammered and only smash and dash

 

[PatientOne]

Thank you for the replies and concerns. I tend to agree with all of the above. She seems like she might not want to be alone, and the mirroring theory is sound. Where her issues come from, I cannot say. Her parents have been married for over 30 years, large family, etc. When I first saw her, I instantly found her attractive, and I'm sure she noticed that straight off.

Her exes are taller than me, physically stronger (I have some atrophy from the aftermath of my accident, that I am fixing.) I'm a cool dude, smart, and good looking, so maybe she is attracted to those things. However, my situation is currently not very ideal to attract women, so her behavior does raise some flags.

Either way, I'm not looking to be in a rebound situation.

 

[PatientOne]

No communication from her in a couple of days, so she probably lost interest or hooked up with one of the exes, so it will be interesting to see how she acts the next time she is around. But I will be busy, so there will be some space.

 

[Glassguy]

Just be laid back, cool and friendly. Nothing out of the norm.

Don't show any butt hurt emotion. Business as usual. You may get a "everything ok?" From her once she she's you won't break frame and give 2 sh!ts about her.

 

[PatientOne]

I will smile and use small talk, but that is about it. I am in very good control of my emotions. I don't have anything invested in this chick, so I'm good, no matter what happens. I am glad that she didn't communicate lately, because honestly, I was thinking about her a lot, when I wasn't trying to, and now I am not.

What she and every other woman is going to see is me working out, rebuilding myself, going for surgeries to improve what was damaged in the accident, going out to have beers with my friends, playing guitar, and generally kicking some azz.

I have always been cool in these types of situations, because I find that having a DGAF attitude is very healthy for a man to have.

I agree with previous posts that she probably has some issues, and that she feels out guys that she is around, who meet certain requirements. Some women don't want to be alone, so they will keep douchy exes on the back burner while they investigate other guys.

 

[The Duke]

Keep doing what you have been doing. Tell her about some hot azz(your physical trainer, physical therapist, etc) you have chasing you. If she takes the bait and shows more interest, then ask her out for drinks and have some hot sechs afterwards. This won't be hard at all.

Don't get attached to these types.

 

[PatientOne]

Sechs would me too soon following my split from my wife, and the logistics wouldn't work out...yet.

 

[AlphaNate]

Sechs would me too soon following my split from my wife, and the logistics wouldn't work out...yet.

If you try to keep her around as a friend, she is guaranteed to attack your frame.

 

[PatientOne]

Possibly. However, I feel absolutely nothing regarding the fact that she hasn't communicated. If she went back to her ex, then I think that she is an emotional trainwreck, and I want absolutely no part of that. I would rather be single for life than deal with that kind of drama. My frame has only been in danger during my marriage, and the last LTR. That's why I am no longer with those women. The former was BPD crazy, and the latter became too comfortable and the things I wanted were lacking. It was discussed many times, nothing changed, so I bailed.

There are reasons that she and the other women come around that are partially beyond my control. I don't want to say why, because I don't want put that info out on the net and have it somehow bite me in the azz. So I get to admire some natural beauty for a bit, from a relatively safe distance (meaning, I maintain some distance.)

My wife and I are living in the same complex, and that affects logistics, no matter who I may have over. Its complicated, as they say.

 

[Roober]

Take care of your $hit with your soon to be ex before you get involved with anyone. Sounds like you have had women coming around for a while, possibly contributing to your divorce and your complicated situation. Beautiful women can cloud a dude's judgement. If you choose to pursue, keep it discreet and just sex. Depending on the lenght of your marriage, you are going to want to rebound to find that comfort of a warm body next to you each night.

 

[PatientOne]

The split was inevitable before the other women were coming around. There was no intimacy or sex, and I told my wife over a period of time that if it wasn't addressed, we would not make it. Once she sensed I was finally bailing, she became more touchy-feely, but at that point, I became annoyed.

Rebounding would be bad. I'm trying to focus on myself, right now. I know it sounds like my judgement might have been clouded, but I was just really curious about the signals from that woman. I am under no illusions. I believe that a certain amount of time should pass after an LTR before sechs with anyone else occurs.

 

[RangerMIke]

She is interested, she is trying to build rapport and letting you know she is available.... but really you should never wait for a sign. If you like her go for it. Be direct make a date. Get her out and see what happens.

 

[PatientOne]

During our casual convos, she mentioned having a disdain for married men who hit on her. After she learned of the split, she said that maybe my wife and I would repair things, so if she is truly interested, she is playing it safe. That is why I started the thread, because of the signals that seem termpered by caution. Due to what she does for a living, there may be ethical concerns as well.

 

[Desdinova]

She also brings me food, which is new.

When women do this, it's usually a sign of somewhat high interest.

I'm trying to figure out exactly where you stand on this situation. It sounds like you could take her or leave her, which isn't exactly a bad thing. However, whenever I'm interacting with a woman, I'm always on game mode, no matter who it is. The way I see it, it's not a bad thing to have multiple women attracted to you regardless of whether you're attracted to them. Social proof can help you get other women, so I always try to get as many women attracted as possible, regardless of their looks, shapes, and sizes.

If I were in your shoes, I would be actively working on making her more attracted.

 

[PatientOne]

She hasn't contacted me since Tuesday, but I will see her again in a couple of days. But I think her interest waned. Mine has a bit, since she is not on my mind as much.

Maybe she is playing it safe now that the knowledge of my split with the wife is out in the open. Or yet, she hooked up with her douchy ex.

If she did, I will probably make a snarky comment to her about being masochistic, and then ignore her unless I have to speak to her. She will find out that I have been going out with my buddies, and have plans to go out to shows and what not. Strategic phone calls that she will overhear, etc.

I am definitely in in the mode where I could take her or leave her. She is attractive, smart, and skilled, but I have no emotion invested. She lives far enough out of town that I would never see her wveryday, which would be great. However, if she had high interest in me knowing that I am married, that could be a major red flag. However, I know that women want what they can't have, and I am now attainable. But I will not enter into a competition with her exes. I don't want or need that drama in my life, which is quickly getting back on track now that I am single again.

 

[PatientOne]

I was mistaken. She will be here tomorrow, not Tuesday (later today, my time zone.) I plan on simply saying hello. Then I will go about my business, probably jam on my guitar, and do the things I mentioned in the last post.

Any ideas on anything snarky if she brings up her (ex)boyfriend? Personally, I don't want her thinking that I am her emo-tampon, though she of course she might be testing. I am still thinking of saying, "Tsk Tsk tsk, you must be masochistic," and continue to go about my business. That might be too harsh for the a actual situation. Either way, I don't mind having fun while I meet and game other chicks.

 

[PatientOne]

Well she brought donuts which I did not way. She is talkative. She has not brought up the exes, which is good because it got old. She did bring up dating profile, again, which I forgot to mention that she does often.

She tells me that someone contacted her on her d.p., and said that they wouldn't be compatible due to difference zodiac signs. She went off a little about how she didn't believe in that stuff. I did agree a bit, by saying that all relationships would be affected, not just romantic ones.

At one point, she handed something to me, and as I took it and she released it, Her fingers went over my hand and fingers. It felt like it was on purpose.

I playfully razzed her a bit. However, I'm just resting and reading, as I had a great night out last night. Met with friends, had some beers, and then went to a friends to jam. This chick was there who I got to alter her politics during a conversation which was funny. I was jamming some riffs, and she was playing drums. Never hung out with her before, but we were in sync. She hugged me afterwards. I got back home really late so I am tired today.

EDIT: I almost forgot, another chick showed up while I was drumming, drunk, and was into me right off. I recognized her, but I think that she is trouble. It seems that I am not going to have many issues with my new single life.