Critique this spot: 1st OLD

[FinallyAlpha]

• I'm on a 2.5 month drought.
• Last weekend I got a OLD with a HB5.
• We met at a bar.
• Initial chat was light and smooth.
• When we approached the bar I ordered first: a non-alcoholic beer (I don't drink). The greaseball barman tries to give me sh1t, but I engage him with lots of light hearted energy. I handled what could have been an awkward spot really well.
• She tries to order the same non-alcoholic drink, but they only have one, so she switches to an alcoholic one.
• We sit, and the conversation flows well. My posture is good. I maintain good eye contact even though I feel tired. I'm running the conversation well, trying to emotionally activate her, but keep it light.
• After the one drink, I suggest we walk, and we do, to a romantic lookout point. On the way, I point out where I live (up on a hill) and I jokingly complain about it.
• It was my first ever sober date, and I told her that.
• At the lookout point, conversation stalls. I kind of want to just kiss her. But we're sober, and it feels soon (i.e. no sexual tension / energy). I'm sure she picked up on that.
• She asked me what my least favourite thing about the city was since I arrived. I said "I don't know what loneliness feels like, but I've probably experienced some loneliness."
• I take her hand and start kissing her, she reciprocates. We kiss for a while. Then it's kind of like ... what now? I am thinking that I don't want to invite her to my place because it will come off as thirsty. But I do end up inviting her in a clumsy way. She politely declines.
• We kiss at her bus stop and the energy is good. And we part.
• We agree that, if she's free after work the next day, she'll come over and I'll cook for her. That was 100% my suggestion. She says that she'll message me the next day to let me know if she can make it.

Crickets.

------------

So inviting her to my place the very next day after a first date is stupid and conveys thirst and desperation?

Complaining at all is negative and, I think, gives off whiny little b1tch vibes. We should always keep it positive, right?

Talking about loneliness is a self-pity vibe? (Antithetical to a powerful, independent vibe?)

Anything else?

 

[Dr.Suave]

So it was basically something like:

You: Lets go back to my place.

Her: Nah, Im good, thanks.

You: How about meeting to my place tomorrow? I will cook for you because you are the prize and I have you up on a pedestal.

Her: Maybe, unless I ghost you because you are thirsty and want to see again tomorrow becasue you are not busy, you are always available, you are not a challenge.

You: Yeah, sounds about right.



Sorry for the though love bro. Keep it positive on the first dates. Dont try to see her often, pretend you are busy with cool stuff. Keep her on her toes, she has to think maybe she has come competition.

 

[FinallyAlpha]

So it was basically something like:

You nailed it.

Little bit of rust. I'll shake it off.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

I take her hand and start kissing her, she reciprocates. We kiss for a while. Then it's kind of like ... what now?

I am thinking that I don't want to invite her to my place because it will come off as thirsty. But I do end up inviting her in a clumsy way. She politely declines.

You did the right thing, especially inviting her to your place after the kiss.

we kiss at her bus stop and the energy is good. And we part.

We agree that, if she's free after work the next day, she'll come over and I'll cook for her.That was 100% my suggestion.

I would not recommend spending any non-sexual time with a woman, UNTIL after you've had sex with her.

This would include inviting her over to cook for her.

Now, after you invite her over to SMASH (and you succeed in smashing), then if you want to cook for her after that; fine.

She earned a meal after giving up the puzzy.

But spending non-sexual time with a woman who has not earned it...I would argue against it.

Instead of inviting her over to cook for her, you should have invited her over to SMASH.

She says that she'll message me the next day to let me know if she can make it. Crickets.

Which I deem disrespectful and a complete disregard to you.

All the more reason for you to send her a sexually suggestive text which states your desire for her to come over.

If she declines, then so be it.

Move on.

Your aim should be to level yourself SO HIGH, that you do not care if you have to let a chick go if she ain't down with your program.

So inviting her to my place the very next day after a first date is stupid and conveys thirst and desperation?

No.

You were honest with her.

You wanted her to come to your place, so that is what you suggested.

Complaining at all is negative and, I think, gives off whiny little b1tch vibes. We should always keep it positive, right?

Talking about loneliness is a self-pity vibe? (Antithetical to a powerful, independent vibe?)

Anything else?

Do as I suggested.

Send her the text^ and live with the results.

 

[FinallyAlpha]

I would not recommend spending any non-sexual time with a woman, UNTIL after you've had sex with her.

I don't think I understand / agree. You can't just walk up to a stranger and stick it in her. There has to be a context: a bar, nightclub, your place, their place. There has to be a date.

If I hadn't made the error of inviting over for dinner next day and, say, instead invited her bowling the following weekend, then it's likely that we're having sex 1-2 weeks into the future. Minimal investment. 2-3 dates. Close. That seems optimal. I botched the play; but not for the reasons you're describing.

Send her the text^ and live with the results.

I haven't messaged her since we met (and she failed to message the next day like she said she would). Me messaging again seems weak. Whether it's a "I just wanna fvck. Come fvck me" (which I see as having a negligible probability of success) or a "hey, what happened?"

 

[Murk]

I haven't messaged her since we met (and she failed to message the next day like she said she would). Me messaging again seems weak. Whether it's a "I just wanna fvck. Come fvck me" (which I see as having a negligible probability of success) or a "hey, what happened?"

Makes no difference at this point, but it doesn't look weak to invite her to fvck. Inviting an HB5 over to cook dinner is weaker. She's probably never been cooked for in her life. She probably expected to get doggied in the woods after the kissing and you let her down.

 

[FinallyAlpha]

Makes no difference at this point, but it doesn't look weak to invite her to fvck. Inviting an HB5 over to cook dinner is weaker. She's probably never been cooked for in her life. She probably expected to get doggied in the woods after the kissing and you let her down.

How would I word this fvck invitation text?

Seems very ambitious.

 

[Murk]

How would I word this fvck invitation text?

Seems very ambitious.

I would just voicenote her "What... no nextflix and chill?"

These HB5's are meant for practice, just be bold and get experience with different moves/lines.

 

[Gamisch]

You did the right thing, especially inviting her to your place after the kiss.



I would not recommend spending any non-sexual time with a woman, UNTIL after you've had sex with her.

This would include inviting her over to cook for her.

Now, after you invite her over to SMASH (and you succeed in smashing), then if you want to cook for her after that; fine.

She earned a meal after giving up the puzzy.

But spending non-sexual time with a woman who has not earned it...I would argue against it.

Instead of inviting her over to cook for her, you should have invited her over to SMASH.



Which I deem disrespectful and a complete disregard to you.

All the more reason for you to send her a sexually suggestive text which states your desire for her to come over.

If she declines, then so be it.

Move on.

Your aim should be to level yourself SO HIGH, that you do not care if you have to let a chick go if she ain't down with your program.



No.

You were honest with her.

You wanted her to come to your place, so that is what you suggested.



Do as I suggested.

Send her the text^ and live with the results.

I finally agree with you! 100%

Lets not forget its a hb5. Every month you are on a drought she gets 0,5 extra smv points. So your desperation makes her a hb7,5 by now...and your post with all due respect is proof of this.

When you kiss a woman you are in her panties for like 80% already. You could and should have pushed things and like @Murk said, let her hold a tree while you take her doggy.

Personally I would go all in and approach it like she already agreed to meet you the next day. Just skip the cooking part, tell her you'll eat with a colleague and you guys will just Netflix and chill.



Don't let her decide the dynamic. Save that for tte HB7's and higher. You should dgaf and practice game on her. If she walks that's ALSO a win, because you are already taking things into the bf/ gf zone. Before you know it you'll be stuck with a hb5...

OP did she actually agreed to meet up today? My geuss is she'll flake on you...

 

[FinallyAlpha]

OP did she actually agreed to meet up today? My geuss is she'll flake on you...

Date was last Sunday. Invitation to my place was for the following day (Monday). She was to message to confirm and didn't.

 

[RangerMIke]

You didn't do anything wrong. Just sounds like she wasn't feeling it. That happens, nothing you can do about it.

You met, no chemistry, low investment... it's a win. You can move on.

Only comments:

(1) Avoid negative topics. When she asked what was the thing you least liked about the city, you should have ignored the question and talked about what you like about the city. Women will ask you questions like this to gauge if you are a positive or negative person. Same is true if she asks about politics, religion, or other people she doesn't like. Stay positive. Dating is supposed to be fun, talking about sh1t you don't like isn't fun.

(2) Moved too fast from meeting to inviting her over to your place. You should have ended the date, saying it was nice to meet her, then that was it. You can't force anything, call her in a few days and invite her to something you like to do. If she liked you she will agree or made a counter-offer, anything other than a 'yes' or counter = "NO". You can wait a couple of weeks and try again, but I wouldn't. Too many women out there to waste time trying to 'make' something work with a chick that isn't feeling butterflies right from the start.

 

[FinallyAlpha]

I have to hold off on the "Hey, what happened? No Netflix and chill?" voice note for a few more days as my weekend is now booked up. I will send it on Sunday night if I'm alone.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

I don't think I understand / agree.

Then please, by all means; continue getting flaked on, and/or ghosted.

You can't just walk up to a stranger and stick it in her.

No, but you can walk up to a stranger and get her number, and later on invite her to your place for some action.

There has to be a context: a bar, nightclub, your place, their place. There has to be a date.

Which is exactly what you attempted to do; yet look at what happened.

If I hadn't made the error of inviting over for dinner next day and, say, instead invited her bowling the following weekend

Dude, do you know how many select (Rom Wills term) men invite women over for dinner the next day, and the women obliges and comes over for dinner, the next day?

If the woman is actually feeling you, she wouldn't have a problem coming over the next day.

However, if she ain't feeling you, then that is when you run into issues like what you are experiencing.

And like I said, it wasn't an error, because if that is what you wanted (her over for dinner), then that is exactly wtf you should have expressed to her.

Either she wants to come over for dinner or she doesn't.

Thinking you have to wine & dine a woman for 2-3 dates before you invite her to your place is simply low-level, beta thinking.

Your thinking should not be..

"If I had taken her on 2-3 dates, then she would have came over to my place"

Instead, it should be..

"I'm not taking her on any dates until she comes over to my place first".

That is the difference between an alpha mentality, and a beta mentality.

, then it's likely that we're having sex 1-2 weeks into the future.

Minimal investment. 2-3 dates. Close. That seems optimal. I botched the play; but not for the reasons you're describing.

Well, since you are claiming to have all this knowledge of how/why things didn't go your way, then why in the FUK didn't you take all of that knowledge and execute your game plan in the first place?

Not only that, what if you had taken her on 2-3 dates and she STILL won't let you smash?

Then you would feel even more sh!ttier.

I haven't messaged her since we met (and she failed to message the next day like she said she would). Me messaging again seems weak. Whether it's a "I just wanna fvck. Come fvck me" (which I see as having a negligible probability of success) or a "hey, what happened?"

Dude, if a woman is truly feeling you, then you don't need to REMIND HER or send her any "hey, what happened" messages.

Because if she was feeling you, she would have messaged you when she said she would.

Women do not flake/ghost guys that they are feeling.

Get that through your cranium.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

(1) Avoid negative topics. When she asked what was the thing you least liked about the city, you should have ignored the question and talked about what you like about the city. Women will ask you questions like this to gauge if you are a positive or negative person. Same is true if she asks about politics, religion, or other people she doesn't like. Stay positive. Dating is supposed to be fun, talking about sh1t you don't like isn't fun.

Nonsense.

How in the hell would that work?

Her: What is the least thing you like about the city?

You: Well, what I like about the city is its diversity. There are many different ethnicities and cultures, and I am a man of culture. My mother is Navajo Indian and my father is Nigerian.



SMH.

(2) Moved too fast from meeting to inviting her over to your place. You should have ended the date, saying it was nice to meet her, then that was it.

Bullsh!t.

Invite her to your place before the date, and if she found you sexually attracted enough (to begin with), she would not have a problem with it.

You can wait a couple of weeks and try again, but I wouldn't.

It just dawned on me..

Most of you guys apparently do not have any experience dealing with women of whom have let you smash without any rapport building or week(s)-long waits.

That is why all of this pansy ass advice is constantly given on here.

There are indeed levels to this sh!t.

But I tell you what, once you've experienced smashing chicks on the same night that you met them, you will NEVER go back to waiting again.

Trust me on that one.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

I finally agree with you! 100%

Lets not forget its a hb5. Every month you are on a drought she gets 0,5 extra smv points. So your desperation makes her a hb7,5 by now...and your post with all due respect is proof of this.

Pardon my ignorance, but what is a hb5?

Sounds like a new R&B group.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Pardon my ignorance, but what is a hb5?

Sounds like a new R&B group.

Im assuming its a girl who is a 5 in terms of looks on a scale of 1 through 10. Im asuming hb stands for "Hot Babe" but saying hb1-4 sounds contradictory, how can she be hot if she´s a 1-4? Im just guessing though.

 

[Murk]

Im assuming its a girl who is a 5 in terms of looks on a scale of 1 through 10. Im asuming hb stands for "Hot Babe" but saying hb1-4 sounds contradictory, how can she be hot if she´s a 1-4? Im just guessing though.

Hb stands for hot babe on the “hot babe ranking scale” so you can be a hb1

 

[pipeman84]

I don't know how OP can spend time with what he himself describes as an HB5, never mind kissing and making out with her. Don't you find it repulsive?

 

[Stanley]

Curious, if this girl was a 5 to you where would you say you match up? If your smv is significantly higher than hers very likely she was intimidated and perhaps confused

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

Im assuming its a girl who is a 5 in terms of looks on a scale of 1 through 10. Im asuming hb stands for "Hot Babe" but saying hb1-4 sounds contradictory, how can she be hot if she´s a 1-4? Im just guessing though.

I feel you.