Critique needed...think I messed up (kinda long)

[harkkam08]

A chat with a girl I had online dont really know what went wrong. I know my game sucks but still break it down fellas thanks. She was my lab instructor. Do I next her or talk to her online (makes sense after reading chat)?


me:hey......
hows it goin?

her: oh hi just came back from work

me: you must be tired

her: im hungry

me: lol, Wow I just looked at the time its 11:45
thats so late
to be coming home
chemistry is not for the faint of heart

her: btw i received your email
i think the easiest way is to send me a picture
i dont draw in public area lol

me: haha....fair enough. But Id still like to have lunch with you regardless.
You can draw at home after you've had so grub with me
some*
You could use some excitement, working in the lab all day
lol

her: maybe~~

me: oh women can be so indecisive

are you a good cook?

her: thats because i cant really think right now~~ so tired
do u think i am？
Today

me: hmm...not sure, I think you're probably really busy to have any time. I personally love it
well you need to get some sleep lady before you pass out on your keyboard

her: lol

me: What do you think about QC food?

her: bad

me: cardboard

her what is cardboard

me: the food
at qc
lol

her: anyway i think im better than them

me: yeah, what do you like cooking?

her: chinese food korean food

me: I helped my mother make chinese food once, it tasted so much better than take out

her: really
what did u cook

me: geneal tso
with jasmine ric
rice*
we found the recipe online
we kind of cheated we didnt have all the ingredients

her: i guess it's still american style chinese food

me: how is authentic chinese food diff?

her: dont know how to say

me: I bet it tastes better. Ill be honest and it probably makes me sound like a stupid american but i love fortune cookies

her: haha
fortune cookies are not bad

me: lol
i always get mad when they forget to put it in my order
have you ever tired indian sweets?
tried*

her: indian sweets？ im not sure.. i have a indian labmate. maybe he gave me some before

me: They're VERY sweet that I wouldnt be surprised if I had diabetes after eating them. But there is something called GulaB Jamin and its sweet cake with hot syrup
im probably making you more hungry

her: its fine.. i just finished dinner

me: yeah, what are you having?

her: chinese food cooked by my roommate

me:Can I have some?

her: nothing left lol
when were you in my class?

her: As in what year?

me: yeah

umm lol I would have to look at my transcript lol hold on

her: r u in the same class with pansy?

me: pansy..hmmm that name doesnt sound familiar
but I was in your SP 08 chem 114 class
thankfully I am graduating soon

her: sp08 oh thats the second semester

me: yeah... do you remember anthony

her: well i remember you
you were not very polite

me: really? ......
lol
I was going to ask
if i was your best student
lolz

her: and didn't do the lab seriously~~~

me: well Ms. Wang I've become a better student I can assure you

her: hehe

me: I cant believe you remb my lab work
lolz


her: i remember bad things very well lol

me: well using that logic maybe thats why I remb you as my teacher too


her: i agree with you

me: I think that the future student are going to be very lucky to have you a a teacher
because they will all fall asleep
hehe

her: nice words

me: Would you like to teach at QC once your Phd is done?
or another school

her: maybe

me: what do you think about the new building they built

her: i dont know... actually i haven't used any room of the new building yet
im teaching any more.. so ijust stay in my lab everyday
im not teaching any more
at least eveything is new there

me: I see just working on your dissertation right?

her: yeah doing experiments all the day

me: I worked in a bio lab for a year as well the lab had no windows

her: we do have windows but they are closed all the time...

me: I think the lack of fresh air would make me go crazy
with all those chemicals in the air
I worked on zebra fish
i had to mate them

her: oh

me: The guy fish sucked they never chased after the female fish
so I had no eggs for my experiments and would have to wait weeks

。。。

me: lol at least you dont have to deal with that
Do you like watching movies in your free time?

her: sometimes

me: Same here, I love drama

her: im following the good wife and nikita
i mean the TV series

me: yea...my dad introduced my to nikita....i think
its like a cartoon right?

her: your
dad?
maybe it's a cartoon.. i dont know
i just like the actress

me: oh

her: i mean originally maybe it's a cartoon

me: lol, i think im confused, see what happens when you talk to a lady who is so mcuh smarter than you
I like watching Fraiser
and Hogans Hero's

her: i think it's because my english sucks

me: no, not at all
im not a native speaker myself
i learned to speak punjabi first
and i always feel like i can express myseld better in punjabi than enlish

her: well i definitely prefer chinese

me: I think I know one word Hachi Ma! which I learned as a kid i think it means STOP! lol
actually im not even sure
if its mandarin
or japanese or korean

her: thats korean...

me: yeah see
i used to live in flushing
and i would hear people yell at each other
i guess thats where I got it from
there are lots of koreans where i lived on northern blvd

her: i thought you heard it from a girl maybe haha

me: LMAO....that was good
oh man

well yes that happens from time to time

...
her: okay it's nice talking to you. but i have to go to bed now

me: yeah...it was nice talking to
why dont you give me your number and during the week we can plan something if you want
xxx-xxx-xxx
thats mine

her: honestly
i feel more comfortable talking on line

me: Dont worry I dont bite....but I understand

her: hha
good night then

me: night

 

[badboyjmm]

Bro, let me tell you something... It was long... Very long and you just talking to her like you are one of her girlfriend, talking about food, class, and all that non-sense. Let me break it down for you.... LONG TALK = BORING
BORING DOESN'T GET GIRL VAY-JAYJAY WET

You didn't make it exciting, you were online for too long. If your purpose was to ask her out, why you didn't do it at the beginning of the conversation?

Just write: Let's meet, this time at time place, cool ? And WAIT. If she says yes SWEET if not HER LOSE. But you were there typing and typing for nothing at all man....

Save yourself some time alright: NO MORE OF THAT :cuss:

me: yeah...it was nice talking to
why dont you give me your number and during the week we can plan something if you want
xxx-xxx-xxx
thats mine

her: honestly
i feel more comfortable talking on line

me: Dont worry I dont bite....but I understand

her: hha
good night then

me: night

That was BAD, REAL BAD, You should have been more precise (this date, this time, and this place) and the worst is that you give her your number while she didn't ask for anything... If you ask for a number, you wait for the answer... You don't EVER give your number to some girl while you don't have her phone number EVER.

her:honestly
i feel more comfortable talking on line

Translation: We've been talking for so long, I was just bored so I decided to talk but really, I found that strange that you've stayed that long, I guess you don't have much to do but to think about me. How cute ! But I only see you as a friend and I really enjoy having a chatting buddy for the time that I'm bored. So I'm just going to say that I'm more comfortable taking online (which is bullsh*t because people don't make out or **** online) so that you don't feel bad. Notice how I didn't say anything about me and you hangout sometime even if you offered ? That's because nothing is going to happen between me and you. (And I don't wanna come up with a excuse every time you call, that why I'm not giving you my phone number)Good night.

P.S: I know you don't bite, because you've been talking with me all that time and you are way too shy to ask me on a date...

 

[harkkam08]

I agree man with all of it. I hate online chatting. But I didnt have her number and the funny thing is that BEFORE this convo ever took place, I did ask her to hangout with me in an email.



I made her promise me a drawing and I said why dont we go grab lunch and I can give you the picture too.



"her: btw i received your email
i think the easiest way is to send me a picture
i dont draw in public area lol"


She then in the chat said she got my msg and that it would be better if I just send the picture to her online.

My email was me asking her out.

Thats when I realized alright her IL is low. Doesnt want to meet me. So thats when I decided I needed to change it and had that chat.

Yeah I wasn't aggressive and sexual and flirtatious enough.

I know giving my number to her was a bad idea, but in the chat she had said that she might have lunch with me. So I was like okay this girl is low IL.

I thought i could get the IL higher with the chat. But then she said she wanted to go to bed and in my mind i was like "**** this Im going for it" and thought giving her my number would show like I wasnt afraid to put myself out there and take a risk, and if she was shy I could make it easier for her to offer hers.

That was my logic, now school me lol.

 

[Igetit!]

I agree man with all of it. I hate online chatting. But I didnt have her number

Question:You didn't have this girl's number,but you were able to communicate with her online,plus you said that she was your lab instructor.

Well how did you get her info for you be able to chat with her online? Did she give you her email address? If so,then why didn't you ask for her number then?



Badboy pretty much summed it all up of where you went wrong. I read the exchange between you and this girl,and it just got tedious. I kept skipping down farther and farther to where you finally decided to put all the "fluff talk" aside and get down to the business of you two seeing each other....and it never happened.



You said that the point of this chat was to raise her interest level,right?

Her interest level in what,drawing pictures? Cooking chinese food? Indian sweets? Dude,you were ALL OVER THE PLACE.



You talked about other students in her lab,watching Frasier and Hogan's Heros,speaking different languages,finding recipes online,some tv show called "Nikita" and "The Good Wife". You talked about anything and everything OTHER THAN the two of you possible seeing each other.



I'm just curious as to what made you think that discussing internet recipes and "Hogan's Hero's" would somehow get her all wet and horny for you.

You'll have to fill me in on that one,lol. :crackup:

That was my logic, now school me lol.

You intended for that conversation to somehow make her interested in you.

You're technique is different from mine. You know how I show my interest to a girl? Well after a few minutes of fluff,I've actually been as blunt as saying this....

me:Are you married?
her:No.
me:You have a boyfriend?
her:No.
me:Good,then we can go out.


You wouldn't think that something so simple would work,but it has for me.


I've even said,"Well look,if you're not married or belong to anybody,then I WANT to see you". Yep,just straight out like that,no hiding,hinting,or beating around the bush.



I think that this girl sensed that you were somewhat interested in her,but were too afraid to just come straight out and let her know. And that attempt at getting her number by offering her yours was....well how do I put this tactfully....it was WEAK dude.



All you can do is just show your interest while demonstrating as many attractive qualities as possible. You showed your interest while displaying 0 attractive qualities. You made a classic error. You skipped the attraction stage and went straight into making her feel comfort.



It's friendzone city when you do that. You did NOTHING sexual.


No flirting,teasing,no complimenting her looks,no sexual innuendo,no NOTHING.



Your convo wasn't bad,it was just out of order. Get the attraction going first,then once she hooks,you can move on to the comfort phase.

 

[harkkam08]

Okay I'm going to clear it up for you guys.

1. She was my lab instructor two years ago.
2. She friend requested me two years ago and never bothered about her
3. So one day I see pictures she posted and they got me interested in her
4. I see that she is online on Facebook and I talk to her for about 5 min tops and made a few jokes that gets her to laugh. Etc. I get her to say she would make a drawing of me.
5. So a day later I send her a message on facebook saying "Hey It was nice talking to you, why dont we have lunch I can give you my picture and maybe you can bring your canvas and draw me right there."
6. Dont get a response from her for a few days
7. See that she is online and I start talking to her
8. About thirty seconds into the conversation she says "btw I got your email and I think the easiest way is to send it to me online your picture, I dont draw in public"
9. My mind says okay she has low IL and trying to back out of lunch date.
10. So I decided to use this current chat I posted to build up attraction.

So if I understand you guys correctly my mistake was jumping into the comfort stage and not attracting her enough by being sexual and flirty.

But to clear things up, I had asked before to have lunch with me, this was just the second time that I did thinking my convo might have helped build IL.

Is this salvageable, as I do like her personality, or am I FkD and its next zone?

This seems like a long shot but maybe I could just send a pic online through email, then ask her if I could come pick it up and just use some attraction and get her to move to a diff venue perhaps or raise IL because physical presence is better?

 

[harkkam08]

bump

 

[Iceberg]

So if I understand you guys correctly my mistake was jumping into the comfort stage and not attracting her enough by being sexual and flirty.

Well considering that this is a woman you havent seen in two years, I'm not sure I'd recommend being sexual and flirty. Especially since it's happening entirely over the internet.

But to clear things up, I had asked before to have lunch with me, this was just the second time that I did thinking my convo might have helped build IL.

So she rejected you once, and you thought the solution was to have a long boring conversation with her?

Is this salvageable, as I do like her personality, or am I FkD and its next zone?

And now she rejected you twice. And your only method of communicating with her is via internet. In what possible way could it be salvageable? She didn't even want to give you her phone number.

This seems like a long shot but maybe I could just send a pic online through email, then ask her if I could come pick it up and just use some attraction and get her to move to a diff venue perhaps or raise IL because physical presence is better?

That sounds ridiculous. In the amount of time you're spending strategizing this like a military operation, you could have gone out and met 6 girls, got rejected by 5 and walked away with 1 serious prospect. Instead, you're spending hours chatting up ONE girl you knew 2 years ago, who probably doesnt like you anyway, only in hopes of getting a 3rd rejection.

Does this chick have diamonds coming out of her vag? No? Then why are you acting as if she's some rare find? Forget her and replace her with someone who might be interested. You don't just go around picking random chicks off your Facebook friends list and assuming you can build their IL out of f**king nowhere. Come on, man. Get real. Jesus christ...

EDIT

Also, there was no way in hell that I or anyone else was going to read that terrible text conversation. It looked boring just scanning past it. I can only imagine what that girl must have felt like having to sit through it.

 

[harkkam08]

^ you have a point.

So yes, this is next you guys are right.

My last question is I KNEW the whole time I was chatting with her that the stuff I was saying was boring and mundane. I was typing but my head was saying "Very boring" but I had NOTHING else to say nothing popped into my head.

Thats always my problem I dont know how to be witty and my humor sucks.

Yeah it was too long I def agree.

So question: "How do I become more interesting in conversations and wit not my life (ie hobbies etc)?"

I KNOW you cant work your wit out like your muscles but what can I do indirectly to help me in that area?

-books
-online chat for practice

Im not sure how you guys up your game. As in saying interesting things

Like I was watching a underground video of a PUA who approaches a set and he says

PUA: "Are you ladies from australia the accent gives it away"
She: "haha...no...do we sound different, my boyfriend is from australia actually"
PUA: (leans in slowly) "Would you like another one"
She: "laughs"

When Im in the hot seat there is no way that I could have thought of saying something like that. I need help with that.