Creating the right kind of anxiety

[Glassguy]

It is imperative to create a "good" anxiety when you are dating women. You can look at this as a way to push/pull if you will, and the great part is you have to do absolutely nothing to achieve it.

Let me start by saying that if you are a man with zero sexual options in his life, this is not going to benefit you at all until you start seeing women (multiple is better) as you need to have some form of communication established with a chick(s) in order to be able to do this.

Understand one very important point before we go any further: Both high value men and women seek partners who are desirable to others. Therefore, women want a man who she knows has other options behind curtain 1, 2 and 3 and that woman will work for the man's time and attention. But to be desirable to a woman, she must know that you at least have those other women in your orbit. Women want what they either cant have OR what they have to put some effort into. Competition is certainly not a bad thing.

Over the past couple of weeks I have really paid attention to doing certain things to create some "good" anxiety. Its a push/pull without opening your mouth to say anything-

* I do not initiate contact. Period. I am letting THEM initiate contact. Once they call, they dont hear from me until they reach out again (call, text, etc). Even if they know that I like them (and why would I be seeing them if I didnt) they do not know how much I like them and it keeps them guessing. Light and upbeat conversations that dont last longer than 15 minutes, set up the next date/hang out and disappear again. Its really simple and very effective. This is one of the most effective things you can do. It keeps you from over texting and over communicating. I respond back when they reach out and call, or I call them back when I get free. But I rarely initiate unless it is something that is time sensitive.
*90% of my communication (especially texting) is sub communication or sub context. Its something that I really didnt focus on as much in previous texting but no I am......and its huge.
*Increase the mystery. When a chick asks me what I am up to or doing, its "I met up with a friend"......"Having a drink with a friend"....."Met some people out".....you get the point. Do not give any details. Let her mind wonder. Build that anxiety. Let her think "What if he meets another woman while he is out?" But you have to be highly desirable to your dating pool for this to work.
*Reschedule the date. "Sorry something came up this evening and I cant make it. Ill touch base later". Then dont reach back out for a day or two. This is a ballsy move and one that you certainly dont want to do more than once with a chick. If she asks later on what came up, simply say a friend of yours really needed some help with something. Let her wonder if the friend was a chick and what she needed help with.

Doing these things creates some competition anxiety in women and you will certainly see them increase the amount of effort they put into seeing you. After all, you are a busy guy WITH OPTIONS and your time is valuable. Make them earn your time and make them miss you when you are "out with a friend".

@BeExcellent can probably add several more good techniques to use in order to build good anxiety.
Happy Hunting

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

This is an important point. Push/pull in the dynamics of dating is much more subtle & nuanced than many people realize IF you are in abundance. @Glassguy is a man fully in abundance who has to flake on dates himself if a better/more interesting prospect comes along.

Newsflash gang: That is exactly what sought after women do. They flake if interest level is low relative to interest level in some other guy. All highly desirable people, men or women, are going to make their best, most desirable option the highest priority.

Interest level correlates directly to priority in a dating rotation no matter whose rotation (man or woman) it happens to be.

Push/pull occurs naturally when you are splitting your time between different people. If girl A calls or texts when you are out with or talking on the phone with girl B then girl A gets to wonder about you. This creates the “good” anxiety that Glass mentions in girl A assuming she has high interest. Ditto what happens to girl B, girl C, girl D and so on.

As Pook always has said women communicate covertly. Sub communication is the essence of how women take social cues and communicate. I know for example that when my BF’s recent ex girlfriend comes over and initiates (unwanted) conversation with me, then comments on how happy we seem on social media, then in the next breath runs him down and states things that are intended to create uncertainty and insecurity in me that the following things are true:

1. She is quite jealous of me and/or the relationship with him
2. She would take him back, at least short term to hurt me and/or damage the relationship…
3. She is stalking social media about the relationship with vigor.

The best way to handle this is to listen, be non reactive, say nothing to him (she wants me running to him to complain about her which puts her into the forefront of his mind) and deploy Amused Mastery.

My attitude is this: If he is willing to screw up our interaction with her then he doesn’t deserve me in the first place. But Im not going to be the agent of her attempts to reach him through me…and all of that is unstated.

That way the instigator (his ex) cannot manipulate the situation. I understand the covert nature of her communication and I understand from her behavior that she is in fact a snake. But it doesn’t bother me because Im not insecure. Her error is that she makes the assumption that I am insecure because she is. But Im not. In fact my BF mate guards me constantly in subtle and not so subtle ways because he is far more insecure than I…even though he himself is a desirable man.

Just yesterday he had to leave earlier than he expected to get to a work meeting. We were already in separate cars because he was going to have coffee with me nearby then head to work. His boss called. Ok. He called to say he had to skip coffee. Fine. He got in the turn lane to head to the office. I went straight because I went for coffee without him.

I was looking good yesterday morning

He texted me I love you and other sweet things as soon as he reached his office.

Why? He knew I looked really good and that men approach me anywhere & often. So just by continuing to go get coffee (rather than turn around & go home) created “good” anxiety in him because he sees me as desirable, sees that other men have interest in me, and he therefore wants to be sure I stay locked down.

After we went to bed last night after 10pm my phone rang.

Boyfriend: “Who on Earth is calling you this late?”…..in a jealous tone.

It was a neighbor who needs me to pick up mail that looks important. Why she called rather than texted that late who knows. But it’s the same thing.

He sees the men hit on me at his sporting events. He sees them approach if he leaves my side to go to the men’s room while we are out. I have an abundance mind set. He knows he met me on the same night that I stopped dating the guy I was seeing before him. In other words I was unattached for about an hour. Seriously.

That is the abundance I have. Glassguy has that same kind of abundance and so do my friends who are players and playboys. My BF knows he got lucky (right place/right time) to have met me at all. People with this kind of value are rarely completely single. They are too sought after.

Work on becoming that kind of abundant in your own social environs. The push/pull and creating mystery and all that then becomes effortless because you actually have a full life with options.

I could be booked for coffee, lunch, happy hour and dinner every day of the week if I said yes to every invite. But I have kids and work and a relationship already so I have to decline other friends and social invitations more often than not. Glass has more invitations than he can entertain as well. It’s a great problem to have…and it keeps people competing for your time, which means your time must be very high value.

Let your abundant life create that “good” anxiety without any overt effort on your part. Your whole perspective will shift.

Cheers

 

[Willie Naylor]

For me, what works to create this 'right kind' of anxiety is, I'll do something really thoughtful one day, then some time later, pull something pretty d!ckish, like flake on a date.

She'll get mad, then she'll get over it, then I'll do something thoughtful....

Keep repeating the cycle.

Women do want nice guys. They just need to see the bad boy inside of us first.

 

[Velasco]

Glass has more invitations than he can entertain as well. It’s a great problem to have…and it keeps people competing for your time, which means your time must be very high value

Lol.

The real message behind glass's post is that abundance can be faked.

Doing simple things such as never (read: mostly her) initiating contact, when asked what you going off to go do (cuz you've reached that point where more time with you = depreciating value), it's always some ambiguous sh1t with friend(s), and not being available for meetups cuz you'd rather do something else (go see another girl, go hunting for another chick or you already saw this chick last week and you don't wanna create that "he's always available" feeling in her).

I know these things cuz I do them all. And know they work.

 

[BeExcellent]

Well @Velasco all I can say is I know for a fact Glassguy is not making up the abundance. But he will sure sound like he’s bragging if you get the full story….

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

Im sorry but this is a real wordy post, I don't think your wrong but I do think your ideas need to be concise for the consumer, again I don't think this about you Glassguy, I enjoy your posts, but "Complexity is the refuge of the Scoundrel"

 

[Stuffnu]

I do not initiate contact. Period. I am letting THEM initiate contact. Once they call, they dont hear from me until they reach out again (call, text, etc)

This.
I will initiate my interest in the beginning but they will already know this instinctively.
I have no time for low interest and tire kickers.
“Girls who like the goods will always reach out to make a purchase“

 

[BadBoy89]

Let me start by saying that if you are a man with zero sexual options in his life, this is not going to benefit you at all until you start seeing women (multiple is better) as you need to have some form of communication established with a chick(s) in order to be able to do this.

Come on bro, your posts are decent but when this is the preface, what the hell.

You are saying: “do all this and the girls will love you.”
“OK, well how do I get girls?”
‘Don’t ask me that question.”

If a guy knows how to get girls, he doesn’t really need more information on what to do, he’s already done it. All he has to is rinse and repeat.

The problem most guys have is they don’t know how to see single, available, childless, never married, decent looking women who want to live a normal life and not cash out when they want to be with the bad boy. Once they know how to meet these girls and are having some sort of sex with them, then maybe some advice here and there could be useful. Even then, they have already slept with them, as long as they keep on doing the same thing, they will be fine.

Again it’s like “If you have the 1st million, this advice will help you make 10 million.”
“OK, well how do I make the 1st million?”
‘That you have to do yourself.”

*Little* rough.

 

[BeExcellent]

Come on guys. There are tons of threads around here about how to get to a place of abundance. Look at @narcissist 100 approaches in 100 days if you want an approach journal.

The problem is that each man has to go out in the world at some point, open his mouth and talk to a girl. No amount of typing on hear can solve that problem. Each individual must solve that for himself. That’s life.

It’s like basic algebra. Sure there is algebra 2 and algebra 3 and pre cal and calculus and diff e and linear algebra. You don’t start at linear algebra and differential equations. So I guess this thread has prerequisites? Should posts that are of a more advanced and nuanced nature be pre qualified?

I don’t think so. But this attitude sheds light on the basic problem of social ineptitude that affects a percentage of the audience here just as it affects a percentage of the general male population at large.

The information is no less valuable. In fact if you have an awareness of more advanced and more nuanced concepts then you actually have a knowledge advantage as you learn the basics.

So there’s that.

 

[Glassguy]

Come on bro, your posts are decent but when this is the preface, what the hell.

You are saying: “do all this and the girls will love you.”
“OK, well how do I get girls?”
‘Don’t ask me that question.”

If a guy knows how to get girls, he doesn’t really need more information on what to do, he’s already done it. All he has to is rinse and repeat.

The problem most guys have is they don’t know how to see single, available, childless, never married, decent looking women who want to live a normal life and not cash out when they want to be with the bad boy. Once they know how to meet these girls and are having some sort of sex with them, then maybe some advice here and there could be useful. Even then, they have already slept with them, as long as they keep on doing the same thing, they will be fine.

Again it’s like “If you have the 1st million, this advice will help you make 10 million.”
“OK, well how do I make the 1st million?”
‘That you have to do yourself.”

*Little* rough.

I LITERALLY stated in my post that this is not for guys who can't get women. And you turn around and complain that it's not a thread teaching guys how to get women.
I agree the other stuff is important. There are hundreds if not thousands of threads on those topics.

This isn't one of them.

And I think you're smarter than what you say on here sometimes. Of course there isn't a "say this and get the girl". It doesn't exist.

If you read my posts they mainly deal with self improvement. It all starts with ME. I am the constant denominator. I don't blame those "mean girls who won't go out with me". I continue to be the best version of myself, which is always a moving target going in the same direction- forward.
There are a million topics on how to improve with women. This is one tiny piece of the puzzle to be very good with women, have them chasing us (and 8s and 9s will chase us rather easily) and continue increasing their interest level. It's really not hard IF you can attract the women you desire.
I don't make threads for Badboy. I make threads to share things that help me even further along.
If the men on here that do most of the complaining would use that time to self improve, they might actually start attracting something worth their time.

 

[Glassguy]

Well @Velasco all I can say is I know for a fact Glassguy is not making up the abundance. But he will sure sound like he’s bragging if you get the full story….

I'm on a hot streak right now of having an amount of attractive and high value women at my disposal. I might have set a personal record of lays in a week's time frame a couple of weeks ago lol. There is a lot to be said about how having many options and an abundance mindset attracts even more women, to the point that it's certainly unmanagable. It's like women can sense or smell it on a man who has many options and they will make it known that they are throwing their name in the hat.
Its also possible to lose several of those options in short order by doing things the wrong way.

To circle back to the points I made in this post, creating that good anxiety keeps them chasing and wondering. And I've never lost a woman from my rotation when she was chasing and doing 90% of the work to see me, and her hamster was spinning from wondering what I am doing in the absent.

Good stuff.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

“OK, well how do I make the 1st million?”
‘That you have to do yourself.”

 

[2Rocky]

It is imperative to create a "good" anxiety when you are dating women. You can look at this as a way to push/pull if you will, and the great part is you have to do absolutely nothing to achieve it.

Understand one very important point before we go any further: Both high value men and women seek partners who are desirable to others. Therefore, women want a man who she knows has other options behind curtain 1, 2 and 3 and that woman will work for the man's time and attention. ...

Doing these things creates some competition anxiety in women and you will certainly see them increase the amount of effort they put into seeing you. After all, you are a busy guy WITH OPTIONS and your time is valuable. Make them earn your time and make them miss you when you are "out with a friend".

@BeExcellent can probably add several more good techniques to use in order to build good anxiety.
Happy Hunting

I've noticed this in my LTR...

My Girlfriend isn't from around here...I introduced her to her Employer and my family has been in the community for 4 generations...People know me...Which sometimes is a little anxiety inducing to her.

So when she was working a booth at a gym and showing pictures of a training group I was in, a hot 28 year old recognized me and said "that's 2Rocky!" my GF responded, "That's my boyfriend!" (the 28 year old and I had no carnal history, but she is a part of another social circle)

She was going through a sale with a woman about my age who was moving back to the area (with her second husband) and we were kids together. She texted me with the woman's married name and I didn't recognize it...finally she gave me some details and I deduced who it was (It had been 15 years or more) . Apparently this woman who I grew up with was still looking real good.... I got a lot of questions later that day about how I knew her. I ended up replying that "The phone # I have for her is an old landline that probably isn't even in service anymore...."

She is always mentioning how she thinks other women "have a thing" for me...I think it makes her feel like she does have a big fish in the pond.

The other night I asked her to rub my back. She said "I think the only reason you have me around is to give you massages!." So I replied with "if that was the case, I'd be Dating "DeDe". (the female massage therapist I go to).

She then started to talk badly about how manly looking DeDe is, and I said "Yeah but she gives a GREAT massage.", and went on my way....

 

[Macadellic]

It’s like basic algebra. Sure there is algebra 2 and algebra 3 and pre cal and calculus and diff e and linear algebra. You don’t start at linear algebra and differential equations. So I guess this thread has prerequisites? Should posts that are of a more advanced and nuanced nature be pre qualified?

The information is no less valuable. In fact if you have an awareness of more advanced and more nuanced concepts then you actually have a knowledge advantage as you learn the basics.

In college I took this advanced mathematical psychology course that had prerequisites. During the first week of lecture I remember thinking the material was a bit difficult to comprehend. I ended up passing with an A in the course that I earned.

The professor was a bit perplexed because I did not take one of the prerequisites for his course. He advised to take the prerequisite the following semester and “Keep your head down and mouth shut.” Since it was his job to check all students were eligible for his course.

When I took the prerequisite the following semester I had an advantage over my classmates with an “easy A.”

To tie this up with this thread.
I’m no where near the abundance of Glassguy but I do consume his informative post/threads and think for myself in how I can incorporate his wisdom to be more effective and competent in dating.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I'm on a hot streak right now of having an amount of attractive and high value women at my disposal. I might have set a personal record of lays in a week's time frame a couple of weeks ago lol. There is a lot to be said about how having many options and an abundance mindset attracts even more women, to the point that it's certainly unmanagable. It's like women can sense or smell it on a man who has many options and they will make it known that they are throwing their name in the hat.
Its also possible to lose several of those options in short order by doing things the wrong way.

To circle back to the points I made in this post, creating that good anxiety keeps them chasing and wondering. And I've never lost a woman from my rotation when she was chasing and doing 90% of the work to see me, and her hamster was spinning from wondering what I am doing in the absent.

Good stuff.

I've found that whenever I have the most options, more seem to just naturally flow or come back in the picture and when I have fewer, it becomes harder to get more...it's weird. Almost like once you reach critical mass it takes on a life of its own in your favor.