Creating attraction?

[Flabbergasped?]

I know how to game chicks that think I'm hot. I also know how to game chicks that think I'm funny, or a good dancer, or w/e.

But what to do with chicks that don't have any pre-disposed attraction. I make small talk and negs, C&F, etc, but it usually doesn't yield more than a decently friendly conversation. I guess what I'm asking is, how can I work on my verbal/conversational game? I'm talking about neutral to bad situations, where the girl is either lukewarm or freezing cold.

My problem is, the chicks who like me right off the bat, I usually consider ugly (there's been 1 or 2 exceptions, and I'm working on them). Yet, the super HBs that don't have this instant attraction (that is, the ones I actually have to game), I'm having trouble getting them to get flirtateous. Ideas?

 

[Thomas94305]

WOW.. interesting. I've been monitoring this "thread", subscribed to it. This is EXACTLY the DJ help we seek. If the gal already thinks I'm hot, I don't need SoSuave or any other board. All I need to do is just not screw up a good thing. If the gal's not into me, or at best, very mild interest, then that's where I need help. And, so far, this board has posted NO HELP. Are we saying the value of SoSuave is .. ZERO???

I'll give this a first shot, to get it moving. However, I'm not a pro at this; I'm far along my rAFC path, tho.

First and foremost, work on being a sociable guy. Become more comfortable at approaching. Get your convo going to where you're not making small talk, but connecting on an emotional level. Juggler's a good read. A couple of things I tell myself are to "act like I've known her for years", and to deal with feelings, reactions, what something meant to me and her. Work on being charming.. ya, I'm not really defining that, but can't do that quickly. This is longer term work, tho.

Next, don't take her signals at face value. A lot of women are just female AFCs, and are just socially anxious. Give her space, but don't think of her reactions automatically as disinterest. This is the positive side of "persistence".

Next, "let her walk". A lot of women complain about guys hitting on them. I've had female friends say "I hate it when a guy hits on me". I ask them to tell me about when a guy hit on them. And, all they basically say is that the guy talked with them, or asked them to dance. And, she's at a social event, so she put herself out there for just this stuff. Go figure. Well, after studying this a bit, I've concluded that they just don't like a guy being pushy. If she doesn't want the conversation, turns away, etc, let her. This is not contradicting what I said about persistence. Persistence means you move things along socially, but don't take her stiffness to mean NO. It often just means she's not that sociable, think of how guys usually aren't sociable, but want to mix, and that may help you to identify where the woman is coming from. If she turns away, let her. If she walks away, let her. Don't make it a big deal. Continue to be charming, and interesting, and give her a few moments to come back, or go over to her later to see if she's mentally worked through some of her anxieties. You're communicating that you're of enough value to let her go, and that you are respectful enough to let her go, a charming combination.

Use jealousy in very small doses. If you've talked with her a while, and she's really not warming up, then go and talk with others. Be the sociable guy again. You've given her a sample of who you are. She's free to buy into that or not. If she says no, then advertise some consequences through your actions; she may reconsider.

 

[Outsider]

Just an assumption

Hey bro, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. What I'm saying is this, you're perceiving these cute girls as not being receptive to you, but to someone who gets alot of ass what this girl is doing is hitting on you. You need to shift your perspective on these girls. By asssuming that most good looking ladies are not attracted to you; you've given them alot of control over you, you're looking to fail and you need to stop that.
As far as conversations go, skills in that are real easy to get, some of this stuff is way over analized. First of all you have to enjoy talking to people. Read that last sentence again. You'll never get anywhere socially if you don't enjoy talking to people, I believe you're going to have to go into a situtaion where you talk to someone as eagerly as going to a Bear's game. That'll help you talking face to face, over the phone, or however you have to communicate. If a person sees you are interested in what they have to say you've made a huge step in the right direction. If you like to socialize that means you can get along with about everyone, so if this one girl is not feeling you, you have nothing to worry about becuase you can go up to anyone and have enjoying conversations with other people.
Second, a problem that is easily avoided and very, very common is not looking someone in the eye. Look at anyone in the eye when they talk to you or when you are talking to them, just do it, it's the way real men communicate.
Finally if it's a casual conversation, smile, if you can't have fun while conversing, act like it and you're going to get what you want.

 

[banGbro]

Hot chicks have a lot of power because men give them power the minute they see them. ("that girl is not hot for me") Now, charming means treating women like little girls. By assuming theyre madly in love with you, you are complitely ignoring their front, the persona they put up for you, that usually says no, stay away from me. ANd that is charming.


The most influential thing I learned from this forums is that their sh!t stinks as bad as yours. That means a lot of things if you think about it.

 

[Snow Plowman]

There are many things out there that you can use to cause attraction. Juggler's stuff gain attraction because if you just have a great vibe it can cause attraction. But some very basic stuff that cause attraction are cold readings, funny stories, mini cold reads, push/pull, etc. This stuff could be used at anytime.

This is why sometimes I feel bad for people who think PUA is all about canned material. There really avoiding things that can help them tremendously. You don't need to use canned material to be a PUA or even read the stuff that are posted by PUAs.

One thing you must realize is you have to be having fun. Also you don't want to make it boring in order to cause her to get bored. When you meet a girl and your sitting there talking about her crappy job at Jeff's donut shop? Do you think your having fun or her having fun. Just picture your sitting there talking about boring stuff and then some guy comes out of no where and starts getting her laughing and doing all these fun and silly things. Which person will she shift her attention too? Boring you or this guy who came in and gave her a fun experience.

Its like picking to go to an amusment park or waiting in a dentist office.

 

[anointed]

whats a cold read/mini cold read real quick?

is it telling a girl what shes thinking and shes all like "whoa u can read me so easily.. its amazing".. cos ive been doin that a few times with this girl im dating.

 

[Distant Light]

Its like a generic observation about them that can apply to anyone. Or just some exegeration about them and what it reminds you of. A cold read is like stuff girls read in a horoscope. I don't know any good cold reads but some mini cold reads that I've used are...

"You guys are so fiesty. You're like little powerpuff girls."
"You're the ring leader aren't you? and these are you're followers how cute."

Some other stuff that can create attraction that some people may not know about is impressions. Sometimes with this one girl I act like this AFC kid who tried to talk to her, she loves when I do that. Or I might sing a disney song, girls love when I do that because it just comes out of no where and never expect me to say such things. Overall its fun doing impressions.