Counter Girl

[FindingMyOwnPath]

So, I'm hoping someone can tell me if it worth a try or just a waste of time and face.

There's this girl who works at Subways on campus. She pretty cute and have an air of sweetness/nerdy innocence. So far, I haven't been able to build much rapport or anything with her. Kinda hard when you're mostly stuck in a one of the busiest Subways in the country (I'm not kidding, I have friend who works there and the boss told them that they are working in one of the busiest in the country, I guess it pays to be in the center of campus).

There are stories, one I just read yesterday of guys who have so much game that he can get that twinkle in the eyes in 5 minutes of meeting.

I'm not one of them. - Well, even if I have that, I'm pretty sure the process to order a sandwich is less than 5 minutes.

Anyways, I did manage to catch her on a break once and got her number. But I got so busy with school and life that weeks passed. I tried to call once anyway, but it came as expected when one never built that much of a connection and called a long time later. To be honest, my instinct says that even if I called two days later or something, I know I didn't felt that "vibe" (and other context) when I got her number.

So my point is that it seems that time, lack of game, and poor positioning make it pretty much impossible. But I do have one card left, but I wonder if it worth a try or will it just make me look like an idiot. I do have a mutual friend that I know as a fellow teammate (my sport allows us to practice/train together). We never hung out or anything, but she pretty cool. I could try and ask her if she could arrange something so I can meet her for a longer period of time outside of a huge line of hungry customers or a rare random pass on campus.

But... is it AFCish to even think of the idea? Is it worth a try? I'm graduating in a little over month BTW.

 

[scribblec]

ye asking another girl to help u get another girl is always a mistake believe me

ive done this mistake soooo many times, what happens is the girl ur getting help from will pretty much kill ur game, she will tell the other girl everything u say and that kills attraction

 

[FindingMyOwnPath]

Wow, you're right. I forgot about that factor. A girl blabbing how much a guy likes her is one hell of a way to kill any game at all. The only remedy is somehow she don't blab, but that's unlikely. Most girls can't keep their mouth shut.

Still, with the time I have left, before graduation, perhaps it is worth the risk, assuming she is trustable enough to help me and not run to her telling everything. I mean the other option is pretty much just give up the idea entirely. I doubt I'll be able to pick her up in the 30 seconds I have ordering a sandwich Subways (though it would be cool if I could pull that). I have to bet and make sure she go and help me and not just tell her everything in the worst possible light. If I try, I definitely have to frame it in the strongest way possible, asking a girl to bring that friend along is very slippable to looking like just begging to help get a girl

 

[Iceberg]

I'm trying to recap what happened: So, you called her and got no response? Then you called her again and nothing happened?

I don't know. Sounds like she's not interested.

Either she gave you her number because she was interested. Or because she was being "polite" and didn't want to publicly reject you.

If she were interested, she would have responded to your calls. So that leaves the other.

If I'm misunderstanding your story, and that is not the situation, then I'd recommend going to the Subway, chatting her up for a bit....just to renew the interest...and saying something like "There's a show coming up next week. You'd like it. I'll call you if I decide to go."

It gives you a reason to call again. And a potential date.

I would NOT use your female friend as a go-between. That never helps.

 

[Iceberg]

Still, with the time I have left, before graduation, perhaps it is worth the risk, assuming she is trustable enough to help me and not run to her telling everything. I mean the other option is pretty much just give up the idea entirely. I doubt I'll be able to pick her up in the 30 seconds I have ordering a sandwich Subways (though it would be cool if I could pull that). I have to bet and make sure she go and help me and not just tell her everything in the worst possible light. If I try, I definitely have to frame it in the strongest way possible, asking a girl to bring that friend along is very slippable to looking like just begging to help get a girl

I've done it before. And I've seen my best friend do it before too. But it only works if it's already established among your social group that you're confident, fun, and good with ladies.

Like if a female friend has a cute girlfriend, I'd say.

Me: "So what's up with that blonde friend of yours?"
Girl: "Sarah? You like her?"
Me: "Yeah. Set that up. Introduce me.."

And girls would do that for me. Because I treated it more like fun, and less like "I'm so lonely and desperate! Set me up with a new girlfriend." But it only works if you're extremely confident. Because you're already going into a situation where the girl knows you want her.

It doesn't sound like you're the fun, party guy, who casually meets girls. So I'm not sure this is the move for you.

 

[scribblec]

I'm trying to recap what happened: So, you called her and got no response? Then you called her again and nothing happened?

I don't know. Sounds like she's not interested.

Either she gave you her number because she was interested. Or because she was being "polite" and didn't want to publicly reject you.

If she were interested, she would have responded to your calls. So that leaves the other.

If I'm misunderstanding your story, and that is not the situation, then I'd recommend going to the Subway, chatting her up for a bit....just to renew the interest...and saying something like "There's a show coming up next week. You'd like it. I'll call you if I decide to go."

It gives you a reason to call again. And a potential date.

I would NOT use your female friend as a go-between. That never helps.

yea there was this one girl i told at work about how i felt about another girl that works there and instead of her helping me out they became best friends based on what they would discuss about me.... this obviously left me with no chance so i ejected and stoped talking to that girl and all of a sudden this other girl is on my case again.


anyway i got a question for u iceberg, i got a number of a girl with VERY high interest level on saturday night so i tried to call her today (she doesnt have my number) and she didnt pickup so a few hours later i tried again same thing... now she has no idea its me so shes not avoiding the call because of that and i dont feel like leaving a voicemail because thats just not me.

so what do i do? do i try again another day ( i want to strike while the irons still hot) but i dont want to blow her phone up with miscalls and then when she finally answers its like ohhhh its u thats calling me so many times....

so what would u do in a situation like this?

 

[Iceberg]

yea there was this one girl i told at work about how i felt about another girl that works there and instead of her helping me out they became best friends based on what they would discuss about me.... this obviously left me with no chance so i ejected and stoped talking to that girl and all of a sudden this other girl is on my case again.


anyway i got a question for u iceberg, i got a number of a girl with VERY high interest level on saturday night so i tried to call her today (she doesnt have my number) and she didnt pickup so a few hours later i tried again same thing... now she has no idea its me so shes not avoiding the call because of that and i dont feel like leaving a voicemail because thats just not me.

so what do i do? do i try again another day ( i want to strike while the irons still hot) but i dont want to blow her phone up with miscalls and then when she finally answers its like ohhhh its u thats calling me so many times....

so what would u do in a situation like this?

Probably would have left a message after the second attemp. It's not my thing either, but at some point you just gotta swallow your pride and do it. At best, she knows its you and calls back. At worst, she knows its you and doesn't call back....then you can NEXT her with adequate reason.

At this point, you might as well wait a day or two, try calling again, and leave a message. I don't think you've blown up her phone to the point of losing interest.

 

[FindingMyOwnPath]

I'm trying to recap what happened: So, you called her and got no response? Then you called her again and nothing happened?

I don't know. Sounds like she's not interested.

I called her once and it was at least two weeks after I got it from her. She will be spend the whole week studying for an exam coming up. She's is the bookish, nerdy type, so it is not implausible, but also not indicative of high interest.

Either she gave you her number because she was interested. Or because she was being "polite" and didn't want to publicly reject you.

If she were interested, she would have responded to your calls. So that leaves the other.

To be honest, I'm pretty sure I got the number more for politeness than I really left a strong impression. I could be biased and being hard on myself. I'm currently trying to operate that I just haven't chatted her up enough. The last run-in I had (and only significant amount of time except the first time when she was on break), we had a decent chat that actually didn't felt forced. Unfortunately, the chat got cut short before I brought up "y'know there's a show" thing. It was only one chat, but I'm hoping it is a sign that if I can chat wit her for longer than 30 seconds once a week that is not interspersed with what I want in my sandwich, then I might be able to make some progress.

It doesn't sound like you're the fun, party guy, who casually meets girls. So I'm not sure this is the move for you.

Hmm... Yeah, you have a good point. In my mind, I am imagining of trying pull something along that line. We're pretty cool, but she (or the team) in general don't see me as that fun, party guy. In the team in general, I failed to make captain (after being tapped twice and once extra when the captain was out for a short time) and I admittedly lack "gavititas" amongst underclassman despite being a senior.

The reality of it would go down could be very different. I did tried to imagine through that how well it would go based on her personality and etc. She is a nerdy, tomboy who never really partake gossipy girl stuff. Plus, her personality tend to be helpful and being concern about everyone as possible. So I doubt she would intentionally spite me. Yet, I shouldn't overestimate her. My gut she is she might react as "lost" as no not knowing how to help. I know I can't pull off the cool friend frame, more of fellow comrade frame, if you understand what I'm saying. Though the worse case could be really bad (relatively, if it fails, I'm gone in a month anyway).