Counselling with Mr Rolo Tomassi

[Billy Brazil]

Hello crew. I have been trying to contact Mr. Tomassi for some personal counselling, but even after to post 5 times in the forum it seems that I am not allowed to send him a PM. I don't even know if he is accepting consultation or if he is available for this kind of work. I love his writings so much and I need some guidance regarding some important decisions in my romantic life right now. Mr. Tomassi, if you are reading this, please contact me. Thanks a lot everyone!

 

[LoveTheLight]

Hes active on his blog here

http://rationalmale.wordpress.com/

 

[Billy Brazil]

Hes active on his blog here

http://rationalmale.wordpress.com/

I know man. But there is no contact form in there. Thanks anyway!!

 

[5string]

Hello crew. I have been trying to contact Mr. Tomassi for some personal counselling, but even after to post 5 times in the forum it seems that I am not allowed to send him a PM. I don't even know if he is accepting consultation or if he is available for this kind of work. I love his writings so much and I need some guidance regarding some important decisions in my romantic life right now. Mr. Tomassi, if you are reading this, please contact me. Thanks a lot everyone!

Careful. In real life he's a massage therapist.

 

[Billy Brazil]

Careful. In real life he's a massage therapist.

Haahahahaha. It's ok. I am from Brazil. No danger.

 

[Kbomb]

just ask here. We will sh^t on you just the same.

 

[The Bat]

Feel free to ask us. We won't bite...or give you a dirty massage...

 

[Atom Smasher]

I think you need ten posts in order to be able to send PMs.

I have noticed that our Mr. T. is often remiss in replying to communiques, so you will need to persist.

 

[Plutoman]

He does have a public e-mail listed on his blog profile.. but I don't know if he uses it, checks it, or anything.

 

[Billy Brazil]

Ok. My idea was a long term mentoring. And I was willing to pay, but I dont even know if the Mr. T works this way. I love his blog and read it every day! Anyways... Lets shoot the ****.

A little background from me. I am 36. Had three LTR (2 years each) in my 20s. Total AFC back then. Swallowed the red pill 5 years ago. Since them my lay count its 30 babes. I have been dating non-exclusively for the last 3 years, learning the game, improving the quality of the girls I date and of my lifestyle in general, working in my game every week etc...

6 months ago I met this 25 years old girl (solid HB 8) and after fighting and struggling not to like her, and continue to have only casual sex with her (she was into me hard since day one), she started to make me feel infatuated and melted the layers of ice that I managed to build around me in the last years. I started to give in and considering not to seeing other girls so often anymore. She never asked. I just considered that maybe I could try this if I want her to be exclusive with me too. I already ****ed with my ambiguous aura saying to her that I love her and want to be with her.

I was not looking for a new LTR, but I really love this girl and I feel I could try to be with her. As Mr T. would put, my romance was a product of plate spinning, and not a monogamous state goal that I was after. The thing is, will I be able to stop shagging other girls from my circle (there is one in special that is hard to let go, our chemistry is amazing)? Is this even worth it? Can I still work in my game outside the relationship and keep my sword sharp without ****ing with my integrity? I love the game and one thing I still would like to experience is one or two bootcamps with some instructors I enjoy (Tyler form RSD for example)? Is hard to let go of the seductor persona.

In general is a conflict between being monogamous or not. I would like her to be, so, shouldn't I do the same? The funny thing is, she is the first girl I care about this kind of ****. I never gave a **** if my girlfriends where ****ing other guys or not...

So many ****ing questions... But you guys asked for. hahaha.

 

[The Bat]

Ok. My idea was a long term mentoring. And I was willing to pay, but I dont even know if the Mr. T works this way. I love his blog and read it every day! Anyways... Lets shoot the ****.

A little background from me. I am 36. Had three LTR (2 years each) in my 20s. Total AFC back then. Swallowed the red pill 5 years ago. Since them my lay count its 30 babes. I have been dating non-exclusively for the last 3 years, learning the game, improving the quality of the girls I date and of my lifestyle in general, working in my game every week etc...

6 months ago I met this 25 years old girl (solid HB 8) and after fighting and struggling not to like her, and continue to have only casual sex with her (she was into me hard since day one), she started to make me feel infatuated and melted the layers of ice that I managed to build around me in the last years. I started to give in and considering not to seeing other girls so often anymore. She never asked. I just considered that maybe I could try this if I want her to be exclusive with me too. I already ****ed with my ambiguous aura saying to her that I love her and want to be with her.

I was not looking for a new LTR, but I really love this girl and I feel I could try to be with her. As Mr T. would put, my romance was a product of plate spinning, and not a monogamous state goal that I was after. The thing is, will I be able to stop shagging other girls from my circle (there is one in special that is hard to let go, our chemistry is amazing)? Is this even worth it? Can I still work in my game outside the relationship and keep my sword sharp without ****ing with my integrity? I love the game and one thing I still would like to experience is one or two bootcamps with some instructors I enjoy (Tyler form RSD for example)? Is hard to let go of the seductor persona.

In general is a conflict between being monogamous or not. I would like her to be, so, shouldn't I do the same? The funny thing is, she is the first girl I care about this kind of ****. I never gave a **** if my girlfriends where ****ing other guys or not...

So many ****ing questions... But you guys asked for. hahaha.

I'm probably old school when it comes to this type of stuff but I think you should NOT go exclusive with this girl especially when it is so obvious that you're open to gaming/plate spinning other potential women. And understand that I don't blame you. You're not a bad man for wanting one thing over the other.

You just need to be honest with yourself. Can you remain faithful with this girl? If not, then you shouldn't feel guilty about any decisions you may have to make. Trust me when I say this, this is not the first girl that's gonna make you feel like you need to give up the world for her and she's an angel and bla bla bla....

But if it is something you want to seriously give it a shot then go for it but understand that it probably won't last long because you make it really obvious that you're still interested in seeing what's out there.

 

[Boilermaker]

Ok. My idea was a long term mentoring. And I was willing to pay, but I dont even know if the Mr. T works this way. I love his blog and read it every day! Anyways... Lets shoot the ****.

A little background from me. I am 36. Had three LTR (2 years each) in my 20s. Total AFC back then. Swallowed the red pill 5 years ago. Since them my lay count its 30 babes. I have been dating non-exclusively for the last 3 years, learning the game, improving the quality of the girls I date and of my lifestyle in general, working in my game every week etc...

6 months ago I met this 25 years old girl (solid HB 8) and after fighting and struggling not to like her, and continue to have only casual sex with her (she was into me hard since day one), she started to make me feel infatuated and melted the layers of ice that I managed to build around me in the last years. I started to give in and considering not to seeing other girls so often anymore. She never asked. I just considered that maybe I could try this if I want her to be exclusive with me too. I already ****ed with my ambiguous aura saying to her that I love her and want to be with her.

I was not looking for a new LTR, but I really love this girl and I feel I could try to be with her. As Mr T. would put, my romance was a product of plate spinning, and not a monogamous state goal that I was after. The thing is, will I be able to stop shagging other girls from my circle (there is one in special that is hard to let go, our chemistry is amazing)? Is this even worth it? Can I still work in my game outside the relationship and keep my sword sharp without ****ing with my integrity? I love the game and one thing I still would like to experience is one or two bootcamps with some instructors I enjoy (Tyler form RSD for example)? Is hard to let go of the seductor persona.

In general is a conflict between being monogamous or not. I would like her to be, so, shouldn't I do the same? The funny thing is, she is the first girl I care about this kind of ****. I never gave a **** if my girlfriends where ****ing other guys or not...

So many ****ing questions... But you guys asked for. hahaha.

Hmmm... So you have had your share, dated chicks casually, slept with them, broke their hearts ( totally fine by me ), finally fell in love,

and now you are asking what

"the game" thinks whether you give in to this one girl.

Have an LTR, brother. Go on. To hell with it.

It won't kill you



Don't break your heart though.

You sound a tad obsessed with this thing, exactly counting numbers and such,

rest assured, nobody cares in the bigger frame of things. It's your life.

You define it.

 

[Plutoman]

She never asked.

This line worries me. Is she wanting the LTR, has she brought it up with you?

As far as having a relationship, hell with it, do it, but just remember as you are in the relationship that you have options, keep the frame. But, she has to want the relationship with you beyond just casual sex.

 

[BadNews]

Plutoman raises an extremely valid point. Has SHE indicated any interest whatsoever in a monogamous relationship with you? If no, then perhaps you're putting the cart ahead of the horse on this one Billy. Do not drop the other plates in your life until SHE is the one asking for Monogamy.

 

[Billy Brazil]

This line worries me. Is she wanting the LTR, has she brought it up with you?

As far as having a relationship, hell with it, do it, but just remember as you are in the relationship that you have options, keep the frame. But, she has to want the relationship with you beyond just casual sex.

She never asked at first but it seems to be into right now. Saying she knows she wants to be with me etc, etc... But you are right, let her ask for more if she wants. My main challenge is to keep my frame and control my emotions. They seem a little turbulent right now.

You are totally right too BadNews, I am conscious about that and I will follow your advices in this issue. Let her want to be in it. She says she is scared to ask questions about me, cause obviously our morals and view points about fidelity are different (maybe this means that I am sub communicating who I am the right way, being non available and relatively icy...) I gotta a feel that this girl was crushed hard in the past, and I suspect she could had being rapped to. But this is not a issue right now, I feel she is totally invested and even that I gotta huge influence over her soul.

My mistake really was put the cart ahead of the horse, telling her that I wanted to be with her and trying to calm her down about "infidelity" issues. My bad. Don't know if I can fix this and step back to my mysterious and uncertain status that had her imagination boiling. I did not promise nothing, just said that I wanted to be with her and I could stop ****ing around (how big of idiot am I? hahaha)

I will try to maintain my abundance mentality, detach a little from this love feelings, play it slow, keep gaming some more, and seeing my other plates. Pony (lets call her this) is travelling with her family in the new years eve and I called Camilla (the siren with amazing chemistry that is soooo devoted and obsessed about me) to spend the final week of the year with me. This will help to dissipate all my insecurities and lesser alpha worries.

Maybe I will be in the LTR with Pony, but I need to take one step back, play it smooth, and see if it works out nice. Right now, I feel like a chode in love. I dont want be a total nihilist, maybe I can have a nice relationship. Lets see. THANKS A LOT FOR YOU GUYS. Really, I feel that I have some good friends that are not AFC and I can chat with.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

And I was willing to pay, but I dont even know if the Mr. T works this way.

I pity da foo who thinks I work dat way!


Think of me as an ever present Godlike force on SoSuave. All you have to do is use my name in any thread and I will come to your interventive aid.

How can I help?

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

BRAZIL, read these two essays, I think they'll address what you're going through now:

https://rationalmale.wordpress.com/2011/11/03/plate-theory-iii-transitioning/

https://rationalmale.wordpress.com/2012/01/23/plate-theory-vi-abundance-scarcity/

 

[Atom Smasher]

I pity da foo who thinks I work dat way!


Think of me as an ever present Godlike force on SoSuave. All you have to do is use my name in any thread and I will come to your interventive aid.

How can I help?

Perhaps an essay on the messiah complex?

 

[Purefilth]

All you have to do is use my name in any thread and I will come to your interventive aid.

what happens If I look into the mirror at midnight and say your name three times :nervous:

 

[Buddha_Mind]

From the first essay, "True power isn’t controlling others, but the degree to which you control the course of your own life and your own choices."

I dig this man. Sometimes I get confounded in life as there's always a bigger monkey in the cage and to truly be 'top dog' I think is impossible (I have no desire to be top dog anyways). But rather than live in a jungle mentality of "outcompeting" others or AMOGing, your words are true. Focus on thyself.