Could I Have Handled This Better?

[Grey Fox]

I ran into an interesting situation tonight that really hasn't popped up before for me. I was at a friend's b-day party and a group of girls came in one of them was real cute, then there was a larger, fatter one who was trying to look cute, she waddled around like she was a ten or something. So we are all sitting around and I'm trying to talk to this cute girl whos attentive, but so is fatty. As I'm talking fatty keeps trying to get my attention, normally I just ignore them and the get the picture. Or I neg-hit not so jokingly and then the buzz off. Instead the more I neg on her the more she keeps interuptting and trying to get my attention. I try to move away but i would a good position to interact with the cute girl. So we talk and she suggests we play some card games, and I mention @sshole, fatty makes a comment about it, then i talk about Up and Down the River, and the cute girl never heard of it, she leans in wanting to know more, and she like tell me what is it sounds cool. I say "its a fun game if you want to sit around and get wasted. Get some cards and I can show you."(I was trying to isolate her and get away from fatty.) But the fatty is like "no just tell us about it." So I start to talk about it and say "Okay first.." and then fatty says "anyway."(trying to bust on me or something). So at that point I was tired of dealing with her and said "You know what I'm just going to stop paying any attention to you." And she was like "Oh really?" "Thats right you just not worth it." Her jaw drops and she tries to recover "Well if I'm not worth it why don't you get up and let someone else sit her." So I got up and she was speechless as another guy sat down next to her and I thanked him "for jumping on that grenade", I called it any early night since I had work and left after wishing my friend a good b-day. I decided to NEXT the cute girl cause she was friends with fatty and I couldn't see myself having to deal with her friend(Fatty) if I was going to start seeing this cute gir. Fatty was still stunned, and it wasn't until i was all the way out to my car when she popped her head out the window saying "Your Stupid." I have to admit it felt just as good knocking fatty off her industrial strength pedestal as it would have getting the cute girls #. Though I do admit I could have been more smooth with dealing with her, but I just got down 10 hours of work so I wasn't exactly prepared to play Mr. Diplomat. Anyway rather than have to lose another cute girl because her fat friend got too annoying, how can I make it obivious to someone that thickheaded I won't bite at the bait they're tossing me? Also how would you have handled things so I can have a smooth response to this situation when a long day of work has sapped my ability to deal with someone like fatty? And yeah I know its a shame I didn't get the cute girls number, but her friend fatty was just a huge turn off for the fact she'd associate with someone so disgusting and annoying. And yeah I'm not happy that I wasn't smooth as I normally am, I feel that there was another option in that situation and I missed it and had to take satisfaction in knocking some disgusting fat pig off her pedestal because she thought she was good enough to get my attention and whatever else she was thinking. So please help me out on this so I can DJ better in a situation like this in the future.

-Grey Fox

 

[Jay26]

Paragraphs dude, paragraphs!

Yeah, the annoying fat friends, well hardly a new thing, just ignore them as much as you can, if push comes to shove, don't put up with rudeness, I wouldn't.

 

[Grey Fox]

Thanks

Thanks, sorry about the lack of paragraphs normally I'm better about such things but its been a long day. I know the fat friend things isn't all that new, but the fact that she wouldn't take a hint kinda suprised me. But if you think there was a smoother way to deal with it let me know, but if it just comes down to either dealing with rudeness or taking rudeness, then I guess I made the right call?

-Grey Fox

 

[Pecker]

Disrespecting a girl's friend is not a good way to get into her panties.

I would have included the fatty, just played cards with both of them. Then I'd get BOTH numbers and say "we should all hang out sometime," hinting at a friendship tip. Then you only call the cuter one and set up a coffee date and she'll get the idea.

 

[davelmn2003]

If you really want that cute girl you should have tolerated the fatty one. She wasn't being rude (though you were, I have to say; but yes, she was annoying.)

You have to make good impressions on her friend as well you know. But when you go for the #, I'd only ask the cute girl, and the fatty one would get the idea.

 

[DiamondMind]

Originally posted by Grey Fox
and I thanked him "for jumping on that grenade"
-Grey Fox

Hehehehe, good line....I love that! I can see myself using it within a week

 

[Grey Fox]

Thanks I'll keep that in mind for the next time, and yeah I was rude. Oh well live and learn I suppose.

-Grey Fox

 

[TesuqueRed]

I dunno, it sounded like you handled it well enough. You tried sending signals (most people would get), and then escalate without being a moron, and finally it took blatant word-play to make it obvious.

My own thing is this: most people who are worth your time will know to read between the lines. You don't really have to say anything, your tone and posture and body language will communicate volumes. If they don't pick up on it, they're not in your league.

Cute-one--if she was of any quality--would've picked up on the stupid interference of Fatty and give you a knowing glance, or would've picked up on your discretion and subltle clues.

But you called out Fatty after she remained clueless and you couldn't take her shyt anymore. I wouldn't say you did badly since anyone of quality there will not hold any fault with you--you'll be part of the stories they tell tomorrow, but it'll be along the lines of "Oh my god! Did you hear what fatty was doing last night? Finally, GreyFox said something..." etc.

The only thing I would add: just recognize when situations can't be won. So don't try. Not every situation can be won--smart DJs don't get into un-winnable games. You can limit the downside, though.

And maybe Cute-one found the way you handled it better than most people would've done and is looking forward to running into you again. Maybe Cute-one was falling on a grenade that night and escorting Fatty out.

 

[Grey Fox]

Once again thanks for the input. I don't know if I'll ever see the cute girl again, but there are tons of other women out there so on to the next one.

-Grey Fox