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zekko

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I was standing in line at the grocery store today and my eyes caught this headline on the cover of the new Cosmopolitan:
"50 Reasons Why Your Ego Should Be Bigger".

I didn't read it so I have no idea what it says, but I couldn't help but think wow, this is really what women today need to be hearing.

I almost wonder if both genders are doing the same thing. Saying we need to be more narcissistic (PUAs portray this as irresistable to women), have more confidence, think more highly of ourselves, and play hard to get. Just another sign of what's wrong with the world today, I'd say.
 

Burroughs

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I don't think there's anything wrong with having a big ego

SO LONG AS YOU'VE FVCKING DONE SOMETHING TO WARRANT IT.

We live in a nation where people think social networking is a talent..that everybody is just a click away from being a star...everyone feels they are entitled to a lifestyle THAT SIMPLY IS NEVER COMING IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM.

fat girls watch kim kardass and think 'oh i'm as good looking as her so i should be famous!'

men and women need to take a hard look at themselves and enjoy what they have...because sooner rather than later a lot of things are going to be taken away..hunger will once again become an issue, we are all getting poorer by the day and yet the arrogance is increasing.

As a nation as a world we are heading for very tough times,

if the arrogance and entitled behavior doesn't decrease we are going to have a lot of suicidal 28 year old coulda-shoulda been model-actor-writer-director-nobodies on our hands.
 

imarockstar

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The title should have read,"Why you should have more confidence". Egos are bad for us, and the problem is, there is nothing we can do about them other than be consciously aware that our egos are constantly trying to stroke themselves. Our egos blind us, and separate us from reality.

Your confidence can be high if you have done something to warrant it, but not your ego. An ego is something that you must constantly feed with certain falsehoods in order to keep it happy. Authentic confidence is acquired through hard work, taking action, and even after countless failures, strives forward and achieves success.

The narcissist who must tell his ego false truths because he achieves nothing in life and does not take action is not a person I envy. I would much rather set goals and accomplish them than to sit by idly and feed my ego with affirmations in order to feel happy.

I read a quote by Einstein tonight that said "One does not live until they have learned to live outside themselves". Meaning, if you have a big ego you are constantly inside your head in order to maintain it, constantly worrying about what others think, which causes mental discomfort. When you live outside yourself, outside of your head and all of your thoughts, you really live. Yeah, Einstein knew all about living in the moment.
 

zekko

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imarockstar said:
Your confidence can be high if you have done something to warrant it, but not your ego. An ego is something that you must constantly feed with certain falsehoods in order to keep it happy. Authentic confidence is acquired through hard work, taking action, and even after countless failures, strives forward and achieves success.
Interesting thoughts on the difference between ego and confidence. At RSD they are always saying the ego is bad (because of their eastern philosophical leanings). Yet they also say you should be "delusionally confident" and narcissistic. Seems to me that if you were delusionally confident (more confident than your reality should allow), you would have a big ego. Or as you put it, your ego would demand being fed certain falsehoods.

My whole problem with the whole "creating your own reality" and being "delusionally confident" is that when reality smacks you in the head you can't help but see the discrepancy between reality and the imagined reality that's in your head. That has to result in a letdown.

Regardless, the last thing women today need is bigger egos. They're plenty big enough already. IMO. Although many guys here complain about insecure, low self esteem women, so maybe I'm wrong in saying that.
 

Victory Unlimited

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We live in a myopic culture populated with people (women AND MEN) with low self-esteem who are always looking for artificial or superficial ways to inflate their egos to hide their spiritual deficits and lack of true substance.

And the propaganda that you'll find in schlocky magazines, on trendy television shows, and at glitzy websites are a reflection of that.
 

iqqi

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Victory Unlimited said:
We live in a myopic culture populated with people (women AND MEN) with low self-esteem who are always looking for artificial or superficial ways to inflate their egos to hide their spiritual deficits and lack of true substance.

And the propaganda that you'll find in schlocky magazines, on trendy television shows, and at glitzy websites are a reflection of that.
This is the truth, and very sad.

I find it hard to make friends with other women because the current trend of bonding seems to be b!tching about other women. Or just b!tching. I can't stand that crap. It's something the insecure do to feel better about themselves.
 

Jitterbug

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zekko said:
Regardless, the last thing women today need is bigger egos. They're plenty big enough already. IMO. Although many guys here complain about insecure, low self esteem women, so maybe I'm wrong in saying that.
zekko, there is a subtle difference.

Those women have low self-esteem, but they think even less of most men they encounter.

The former is their insecurity, the latter is their huge ego. They can co-exist. A woman who has low self-esteem can simultaneously have an inflated evaluation of her sexual market value. It's a problem of a 5 who evaluates herself as an 8 and feels sh1tty because she is not good enough for the male 10 she wants, but believes she's too good for the males 5-7 out there who are interested in her.
 

Burroughs

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Jitterbug said:
The former is their insecurity, the latter is their huge ego. They can co-exist. A woman who has low self-esteem can simultaneously have an inflated evaluation of her sexual market value. It's a problem of a 5 who evaluates herself as an 8 and feels sh1tty because she is not good enough for the male 10 she wants, but believes she's too good for the males 5-7 out there who are interested in her.
nicely said

this is the modern relationship quagmire (giggedy) in a nutshell

the 5 thinks she's a 8 and wants a 10.

...and the entire gargantuan force of media and government supports this female delusion....with the statement to men 'man up' lol

mans response is increasingly why?
 

Jules_Winfield

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zekko said:
Interesting thoughts on the difference between ego and confidence. At RSD they are always saying the ego is bad (because of their eastern philosophical leanings). Yet they also say you should be "delusionally confident" and narcissistic. Seems to me that if you were delusionally confident (more confident than your reality should allow), you would have a big ego. Or as you put it, your ego would demand being fed certain falsehoods.

My whole problem with the whole "creating your own reality" and being "delusionally confident" is that when reality smacks you in the head you can't help but see the discrepancy between reality and the imagined reality that's in your head. That has to result in a letdown.

Regardless, the last thing women today need is bigger egos. They're plenty big enough already. IMO. Although many guys here complain about insecure, low self esteem women, so maybe I'm wrong in saying that.
The reality you create for yourself should have nothing to do with anything external - it's an unshakable confidence. You are not your car, it can be taken from you. You are not your job, you can be fired without warning. You are not a college degree, but you are the knowledge you've retained from your time in school. If you are confident enough, listening to people's criticisms of you will amuse you yet never interfere with your reality. The criticism is a readjustment on their end, but if they are a part of your life, you must make sure they actually do readjust or they will attack you on the regular bases.

I was constantly at odds with other guys until I understood this. I've had to downplay my intelligence and ability with women so I wouldn't interfere with the realities of a few less secure men at work. Their reality was never my own, but I had to make it appear that way to keep a job. Financially, it was worth it.
 

sodbuster

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Just had a talk with a female friend... She used to be fat,but had surgery. So she's now about 150 lbs lighter,with the saggy extra skin that comes with it. She has a 3 year old special needs child and is a student in college at age 27. Hell, with the clothes on,she looks like a 7? on a good day.

She thinks she can land a 10 in marriage? Online meeting guys. She said her current bf let her go to the gym while he worked. She told him it was "awkward' being the only girl in the weight room. He said it would have been worse if he was there...he went to school with those guys.... SHE didn't know what that meant. It means "he doesn't want his friends to know he's boinking you"
 

Channel your excited feelings into positive thoughts and behaviors. You will attract women by being enthusiastic, radiating energy, and becoming someone who is fun to be around.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

zekko

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Jules_Winfield said:
If you are confident enough, listening to people's criticisms of you will amuse you yet never interfere with your reality. The criticism is a readjustment on their end, but if they are a part of your life, you must make sure they actually do readjust or they will attack you on the regular bases.
I'm not talking about criticisms though. I'm talking about things like "Believe you are a 10". If you believe you are a 10, but you don't get treated like you know a 10 is treated, that sets up incongruence. I don't think you can indefinitely believe you are a 10 if you do not get a reaction that a 10 gets. You can fool yourself for awhile, but only so long.
 
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