Corey Wayne - When an ex reaches back out

[VladPatton]

Exes don't deserve a response or to be in your phone or on any of your social media platforms, especially if THEY dump you. Hell, you shouldn't be giving them bvll**** likes on FB from the get-go. This is like trying to become besties with the guy who rear-ended your new Porsche at a stop light. The fvck??

B!tch is bored and is hitting you up for a time kill until her next real interest. You mofos need to delete these cvnts once they dump you. They'll just do this sh!t to you as many times as you let them.

 

[Smartone84]

B!tch is bored and is hitting you up for a time kill until her next real interest. You mofos need to delete these cvnts once they dump you. They'll just do this sh!t to you as many times as you let them.

Yup. I gave her one chance and she showed her true colors. I will never entertain any contact from her ever again short of her throwing herself at me within the next few days with an answer that includes yes.

Also, I never liked a single thing of hers on FB. That was her liking something of mine a few weeks before she reached out.

 

[VladPatton]

Yup. I gave her one chance and she showed her true colors. I will never entertain any contact from her ever again short of her throwing herself at me within the next few days with an answer that includes yes.

Also, I never liked a single thing of hers on FB. That was her liking something of mine a few weeks before she reached out.

Good stuff!

 

[IKO69]

Exes come back the moment you have moved on and you stopped caring.
Somehow the universe manifests your wishes once you have fully let them go.

I recently met my ex-oneitis on the railway station a few weeks ago, NC for 1,5 years, I totally forgot about her in the last 3 months, totally haven't thought about her at all.
Then boom she manifested in my life, I saw her at the station, she said hi, I said hi, gotta run catch my train,
I realised I simply didn't care anymore.

It works that way because before you were stuck in a certain "state" I guess you can call it. In that state you were hurting, you were humiliated - maybe she dissed you, cheated on you and walked out. That's where you were living mentally long after the incident occurred and perhaps even without knowing that's where you constantly returned - always thinking about humiliating time. After a while it becomes a loop. While you were in that loop of course things stayed the same and didn't change. How can you expect things to possibly change without coming to terms and accepting whatever it is? So you do that and then you experience what you described - your decision to move from that state into a new state opened new doors and possibilities. Even if one wants to dismiss this and chalk it up to mere mystical mumbo jumbo look what happens when people make personal changes - I don't mean New Year resolution bull****, but actual personal changes? Often their lives completely change and people who knew them previously remark how different they are and if they are even the same person.

So the important thing here is to take things in-stride and not let them bog you down. Yes, you were cheated and your anger is probably justified but it really amounts to nothing at the end of the day - and then you have some guys who are obsessed about getting "revenge" down the line....what if that day never comes? You are giving this person that much power over you that you are going to stay mad for 10+ years, possibly your life, and lets say for arguments sake you end up getting the chance to "stick it to her" - maybe one day she sees you and she tries to talk to you and you shut her down - you get temporary satisfaction for about 3 seconds and then life goes on - guess what? It means little at the end of the day and at worst you are no better than they were - it shows you haven't progressed and evolved past being a simpleton.

I sympathize with guys that get hurt/shot down, it sucks and a lot of times is unfair I know. Instead of being hateful about it see it as an opportunity to grow. You know what worked and what didn't...and obviously could've been improved upon in these situations. Hopefully you learn from them and move forward - if you direct that energy towards success in your life you not only will not care about women who shoot you down, you'll eventually probably arrive at a station in life where women seek you out because you have things going on. Meeting women is only an uphill battle when you were never in the running in the first place. When a woman has chosen you, it's literally like the race committee handing you the trophy without participating.

So I would say when it comes to exes be cordial if you see them. Sometimes things work out, sometimes they don't, that's life. There's no shortage of women out there - if you succeeded once you'll succeed again. You don't have to get hung up on one particular woman.

 

[Smartone84]

Very good post. I enjoyed it. Fortunately I already have a lot of success in my life so it just sucks terribly when at 33 years old I had girls (two in the last year as discussed in this thread) that I was actually into and for one reason or another they didn't work out and I have to go back to square one.

 

[Spaz]

Get enrolled in some leadership classes.

And then get a job that actually puts to use what you have learnt.

That's the basics of strengthening ur frame.

 

[Smartone84]

What was not compatible 2 years or 5 years ago is probably still there and people don't just change.

Look forwards, not backwards.

Well said, but in my particular cases they are just tough pills to swallow bc we were compatible and had a blast but things just ended for other reasons. The first case bc she was still seemingly playing the field and didn't seem to want anything too serious, and the second case bc of an ex who came back into the picture that she wasn't over. Then when the two of them didn't work out again(What a shocker), she didn't return to me for fear of hurting me again someday. Tough pill.

 

[lizardking82]

Well said, but in my particular cases they are just tough pills to swallow bc we were compatible and had a blast but things just ended for other reasons. The first case bc she was still seemingly playing the field and didn't seem to want anything too serious, and the second case bc of an ex who came back into the picture that she wasn't over. Then when the two of them didn't work out again(What a shocker), she didn't return to me for fear of hurting me again someday. Tough pill.

Red pill: she did not come back to you because she is not interested, not because "she did not want to hurt you" LOL trust me, they say this sh1t all the time, throw it around to guys, my ex said this to me "I was afraid I was gonna hurt you". Gtfo, no, you just didn't care and that's OK. Take it up the chin, truth hurts cause it breaks down our imaginary realities, but it's needed.

 

[Smartone84]

Red pill: she did not come back to you because she is not interested, not because "she did not want to hurt you" LOL trust me, they say this sh1t all the time, throw it around to guys, my ex said this to me "I was afraid I was gonna hurt you". Gtfo, no, you just didn't care and that's OK. Take it up the chin, truth hurts cause it breaks down our imaginary realities, but it's needed.

I mean yeah, you're right, I just didn't want to get into it too much. Although I do feel there is SOME truth to what she said in the sense that she'd feel "Too much pressure" as well, but of course, ultimately, at the end of the day she simply didn't like me enough. I too experienced something similar years ago as I noted previously. I blew a girl off after a couple of months and she was devastated. A few months later I thought about reaching out to her to maybe try one more time but decided against it since god forbid I ever had to break up with her/blow her off again, it would have been a horror for me. Not that I'm trying to say she was being 100% truthful in her excuse in saying she'd be terrified of ever hurting me again, but look at it from her perspective for a second. We begin dating again and in 5 months she wants out. Girls just don't want to put themselves in that type of position, especially when they're HB8-10s (she was an 8.5 fyi) and can get a new date any night of the week anyway.

What happened was she did come back, but only to play big time push/pull. She even told me that she wanted to come back to me but just needed a little "time" before she completely blew her ex off. This girl was a big time game player, and a manipulator. Instead of me walking away like I should have from the start, I enabled her and fell victim to the false hope she was giving me. It was one part of my game I didn't have on track as I'd never had a past horrific experience like this to learn from. She'd text me that she misses me, she'd text me that this/that made her think of me. I went kind of beta in a few texts, until eventually she pulled that line out on me when I sent her one final message asking what was going on. I realized after almost 2 weeks that this needed to come to an end one way or another. Even after I told her I accept how she feels, she responded by saying she'd still like to see me sometime in the future with museum exhibit tickets I had got her for Christmas. 100% manipulation. And guess what, not wanting to be a d-ck to her and call her out on her bs, I technically took the bait again there by saying "Yeah, me too.". Amazing how much I've changed since then.

I still do feel like I made enough of an impact during our 2 months together that she may reach out one day when enough time has passed, but that will only be to give me some nice validation that she was wrong in everything that she did. I would never take her back short of a lay or two.

 

[MrWood]

took the bait again there by saying "Yeah, me too.".

did she go ghost right after this?

 

[Smartone84]

did she go ghost right after this?

Nope. She actually texted right back talking about some other BS random topic believe it or not which I responded to before deciding to go NC once and for all. Girl was desperate to keep me as her orbiter. She then texted me 3 days later with another small talk attempt asking a random question about a movie we once watched. I responded kind of cold and then went right back to NC. Mind you this is a girl who told me just a few days earlier that she felt things would be problematic for us going forward and would be afraid to ever hurt me again. I had also found her back on the dating site we met on at this exact time. Did I mention that? Done was an understatement for me.

I'll admit though that there was still a small fraction of hope left in me as I had developed some real feelings for this girl just before she blew me off. A little over a week later of NC though I noticed she deleted our 2 photos on her social media. Shortly after she posted a photo of herself alone at the museum exhibit (this was the thing she was referencing as far as seeing me again sometime. It was my Christmas gift to her as well. 2 tickets. One for each of us.). I was so p-ssed off and disgusted by this bizarre move that I simply texted her saying "Wow". She responded by saying "I haven't heard from you so I went alone. I'm not sure if you want your ticket back..". Again, manipulation city. I guess cell phones don't exist. After that I deleted her from social media and haven't spoken to her in over 2 months.

Basically I stopped playing her orbiter game and she said f-ck it, went to the museum AND posted a photo of herself on a social media site I still followed her on. Witty caption and all. She was always obsessed with social media. One negative about her. She chose attention and "Likes" over any consideration for my feelings. Good luck to her and the next sucker she lures in from online dating.

 

[Spaz]

You seriously need to work on your frame.

No woman in the right mind will be attracted to such a weak framed man.

Whiny post = weak minded.

Weak minded = not attractive.

 

[Smartone84]

You seriously need to work on your frame.

No woman in the right mind will be attracted to such a weak framed man.

Whiny post = weak minded.

Weak minded = not attractive.

Whiny? I'm telling a story, which ultimately ended with me doing the right thing, walking away, even if it was too late.

Throw your hate at someone else.

 

[Spaz]

Whiny? I'm telling a story, which ultimately ended with me doing the right thing, walking away, even if it was too late.

Throw your hate at someone else.

Still whiny.

Work on ur frame.

 

[SuckItUp]

She wasn't a true "ex" but we dated for a solid month last summer, slept together, before she ended it with me and I was pretty damn p-ssed bc I was just starting to develop some feelings. She basically told me that she didn't feel as strong for me as I did for her and was afraid she would end up hurting me, yada yada. I was pretty sure she was playing the field hard and had another option although I never saw anything serious on her social media in the timespan afterward. I went complete NC after the conversation.

So now, some 7 months later, she's texting me out of the blue (although there had been a few "Likes" from her on facebook about a month ago) asking how I've been and what's new. I gave in and had some small talk but the conversation eventually ended and I did not text back anything random or ask her anything else about her life. I haven't heard from her since. This was all yesterday afternoon.

I am an avid follower of Coach Corey Wayne and his teachings. He states that when an ex reaches back out the rule of thumb is simple - You are to ASSUME they want to see you, and you tell them it's nice to hear from them and you'd like to see them and to come over to your place to make dinner together. He says don't EVER go to them and that they must come to you as they blew YOU off. He implies that you should ask to hang out like this almost immediately and not to bother with much small talk. This has always been one area where I'm really not sure I agree with him on. So this girl took a sh-t on me and blew me off yet when she reaches back out I'm supposed to throw myself at her asking her to hang out? How does that not look needy and how does that not have the chance of turning her off? And what IF let's say this text of hers was just out of sheer boredom or loneliness from her and she's just looking for some attention? Next thing you know I ask her to come over and she rejects me in some capacity.

What he is saying make sense from the perspective of not wasting time on an ex. She reaches out and you nonchalantly force her hand. Either she comes back and wants to screw or she plays games and you move on immediately. Why waste 4-6 weeks gaming her when you can distill her intentions down to her response to an invitation to hang out.

 

[SuckItUp]

Women like to fluff talk guys who will swallow their bull****. When a woman says you’re an amazing guy but I’m going back my ex she’s covering her crap with febreeze like grains of truth to kill the smell of the steaming pile she just laid.

The way to tell how much a woman is into you is by seeing how much she invests and seeing how much **** she’ll put up with.

 

[Spaz]

Women like to fluff talk guys who will swallow their bull****. When a woman says you’re an amazing guy but I’m going back my ex she’s covering her crap with febreeze like grains of truth to kill the smell of the steaming pile she just laid.

The way to tell how much a woman is into you is by seeing how much she invests and seeing how much **** she’ll put up with.

Very good.

 

[Smartone84]

When a woman says you’re an amazing guy but I’m going back my ex she’s covering her crap with febreeze like grains of truth to kill the smell of the steaming pile she just laid.

Lol, basically.

 

[Smartone84]

Update: Going back to the second of the two ex-plates I was discussing in detail in this thread... This is the girl I dated for 2 amazing months that left me suddenly for her ex that came back to her that she wasn't over, which then lead to 2 weeks of push/pull drama where she came back after things didn't work out with her ex but she says she felt she "ruined everything" with me and couldn't come back to me, etc...

So its now been a little over 2 months of NC where I've moved on well. Been dating other girls. Studying the game. Getting good advice here. Just last night I notice that she VIEWS my online dating profile. This is the first time there has been any form of "contact" at all since the beginning of NC. As noted in my previous posts, she told me she didn't think she could see us going forward and I told her "I understand that. Take care" and subsequently deleted her from my social media shortly after. I know this could just be chalked up to simple curiosity on her part, but I think there's a little more going on here, and am just curious myself of what your guys' take is on this particular thing. If things ended mutually between two people I could understand someone clicking on their ex's online dating profile out of curiosity, but when things ended as semi-roughly as they did between us, with HER dumping ME, I have to admit that her having the gall to click my profile and view me (You have the ability to see who views your page) really is kind of interesting.

I gotta admit, it gave me a little bit of a nice validation feeling, especially since I like to think that my profile is very well written and that I also have some solid pics. Meanwhile there she is, now over 2 months since she dumped me, this nice successful guy who treated her like gold, and she's still single and probably realizing how much of a sh-t show online dating or dating in general really is. My two cents is that she wasn't looking just out of curiosity but was instead looking for some actual validation during her "tough times" of online dating, and wanted to see if she could get me to view her BACK, and maybe even strike gold by getting me to message her or 'Like' a photo of hers. I did nothing.

 

[MrWood]

My two cents is that she wasn't looking just out of curiosity but was instead looking for some actual validation during her "tough times" of online dating, and wanted to see if she could get me to view her BACK, and maybe even strike gold by getting me to message her or 'Like' a photo of hers. I did nothing.

yes. WAY TO BE YOUR OWN MAN SIR!