Conversing Tips

InspirationMan

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Most guys would approach women more (and have more success in dating) if they felt more comfortable with talking to women. It can feel intimidating to talk to a person you hardly know, while deep in the back of your head you're wondering how to ask her out, does she like you, will she ever want to sleep with you, etc. Sometimes the amount of things you wonder about women can be so overwhelming that it's difficult to initiate a conversation.

The first step is to SLOW DOWN. You only need to worry about one thing at a time. The first thing you want to do is to make sure you're totally relaxed for any conversation. If you talk too excitedly, you'll come across as nervous. Slow your speech down so that you don't hurry your words. If you appear relaxed and in control, you'll come across with confidence, and she will find you more attractive.

Next, you should find a topic that meets the following criteria :

Positive and uplifting
Exciting to talk about
Ending with an open-ended question, such as "Why ?" or "How ?"
[Asking questions is minus one point for you, asking MEANINGS of things are plus-points for you]

By keeping the conversation upbeat and exciting, you're making it worth her while to keep talking. By asking the open-ended questions, you are finding a way to keep her talking. If you pay attention, just by listening, you'll hear her mention things that you can ask more questions about, and keep the conversation flowing.

Here are some examples of questions to ask her :

"If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live ? Why ?"
"If you could be anyone in history, who would you choose to be ? Why ?"
"If you could make a living doing any kind of work, what would that be ? Why ?"
By asking "What if" questions, you get her to think outside of her usual box. She's used to dull topics. These questions get her thinking and dreaming. They get her mind working on possibilities.

Here are some things you should NOT talk about with her :

Death, violence, or tragedy
Her family
Your money or how much you make
Your plans for a family or marriage
Sex (until she brings it up)
Any negative topics
Any information about you that is too revealing
Also, wait until much later to start talking about romantic goals with her. You don't need to tell her all the reasons you'd make a great husband for her on the first date. Give it time. There is such thing as too much, too soon.

If you feel that you're running out of steam and you can't find any more topics, take a look at what she's wearing. If she has any jewelry on, even a watch, ask her: "What's the story behind that?" This could get her talking about herself, and you can keep asking more questions to keep it going.

Always remember: You want to keep the subject of the conversation on her as much as possible. The more she can talk about herself, the more attraction she will feel for you.
 

pootwo

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This is vague.
Everyone already knows the open ended questions rule, & the "how's, why's, who's, what's, where's".

they look nice in theory, but in pratice conversation requires more than that or it'll just be boring.

We need advice on how to make INTERESTING & FUN conversations. At least, thats what i'm looking for. How do you have those types of convo's with someone you've just met & not let it become a interview?
 

DJUofS

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Originally posted by pootwo
This is vague.
Everyone already knows the open ended questions rule, & the "how's, why's, who's, what's, where's".

they look nice in theory, but in pratice conversation requires more than that or it'll just be boring.

We need advice on how to make INTERESTING & FUN conversations. At least, thats what i'm looking for. How do you have those types of convo's with someone you've just met & not let it become a interview?
Advice can't be given on how to make a fun an interesting conversation besides the open ended questions advice. Your either going to be fun or interesting, or your not. Chances are, if your worrying about being fun and interesting, your not going to be. Stop worrying and go with the flow... all these conversing tips come naturally when you relax.
 

Zoso

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Zoso
This is vague.
Everyone already knows the open ended questions rule, & the "how's, why's, who's, what's, where's".

they look nice in theory, but in pratice conversation requires more than that or it'll just be boring.

We need advice on how to make INTERESTING & FUN conversations. At least, thats what i'm looking for. How do you have those types of convo's with someone you've just met & not let it become a interview?
InspirationMan gave some good examples of questions that would lead to interesting and fun conversations. Basically you just need to stimulate her imagination. A conversation becomes an interview when you simply exchange facts; make it interesting by exchanging ideas and opinions, using your imagination and stoking hers. Also, everyone loves to talk about themselves, so focus on her and let her do most of the talking. If you talk too much she will get bored. Use what she says and build off it.

Here are some things you should NOT talk about with her :

Death, violence, or tragedy
Her family
Your money or how much you make
Your plans for a family or marriage
Sex (until she brings it up)
Any negative topics
Any information about you that is too revealing
Also, wait until much later to start talking about romantic goals with her.
Religion, philosophy, and politics should also be avoided, as most girls are too self absorbed to care about things like these.
 
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