Conversation starters, openers, excuses to talk to people

[Ease]

This is the starter of all game and life. Being social is a required part of every man. Small talk leads to big talk, so you need to start it here. The most important thing you need is the confidence that the other person will be interested in talking to you.

The next important thing is an excuse to start a conversation. The more natural the better. It can be canned, corny, whatever, as long as it works and gives you an opportunity to begin talking to this girl.

'Do you have a light?' or 'Do you have a cigarette?', are old school moves but require smoking.

Leo Dicaprio variation: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VC2xh8hufq8&feature=related



Share your openers as well so that we can build up our arsenal.

 

[SamTheHobit]

*Hey whats up?

*Hey, i'm meeting random people.

*Takes lighter... Lights lighter in girls face... then tells girl I can light up your life. (lame Still funny though)

*Asks for a sip of her alcohol... Casually starts convo. (works every time)

*Random pick up lines here and there. (Gets alot of laughs)

opening is easy my problem is holding convo. (Proberbly because im drunk half the time lol)

 

[r0cky]

Notice something about them:
The clothes they're wearing
Their style
What they are doing
Anything interesting they have

then make a comment or ask them about it. It doesnt have to be witty, just a general observation: "Hey did you get that in bracelet in Hawaii?".
I saw a couple girls texting so I took out my cell acting like im texting and said "This is totally the texting section isnt it"

 

[Borknagar]

Say whatever you want to start a conversation. People are way too concerned about openers. It's what you say/do after that matters. openers should be the least of your worries. Anyone who's still stuck at opening has a long road ahead to get anywhere. Almost every opener I've used has worked in the sense that it's an opener. I might have screwed up later but as an opener every single opener I've used would be considered a successful opener. Don't think about it, don't use lines or scripts or canned bull****, just ****in do it.

Hell I've opened with "Hey' you're kinda cute" *touches face* *makeout*

and

"Hey I seen you from over a far, you look bubbley, who are you and what makes you awesome?" Took her home a hour later

 

[sexysuave]

If you only have a split second without time to observe, simply say "hey, you having fun yet?"

You can use it anywhere other than a funeral lol. You will have to keep the convo going obviously (although, sometimes some chicks will just start blabering about this and that, usually easier to close these types).

Nothing sweeter than nailing a chick you met at the grocery store or a gas station by simply saying to her "hey, you having fun yet?" rofl.. my number from this opener alone is somewhere in double digits.. just sayin

 

[Ease]

Don't think about it, don't use lines or scripts or canned bull****, just ****in do it.

Hell I've opened with "Hey' you're kinda cute" *touches face* *makeout*

and

"Hey I seen you from over a far, you look bubbley, who are you and what makes you awesome?" Took her home a hour later

Unfortunately since we are mere mortals this approach does not work consistently for us.

The key word here is social. All that 'dont think about it', 'say anything man' bull**** is great but everyone has their staple generic moves.

If you only have a split second without time to observe, simply say "hey, you having fun yet?"

You can use it anywhere other than a funeral lol. You will have to keep the convo going obviously (although, sometimes some chicks will just start blabering about this and that, usually easier to close these types).

Nothing sweeter than nailing a chick you met at the grocery store or a gas station by simply saying to her "hey, you having fun yet?" rofl.. my number from this opener alone is somewhere in double digits.. just sayin

Sounds interesting lol, how do you follow up on that?

 

[Mantis Toboggan]

Unfortunately since we are mere mortals this approach does not work consistently for us.

The key word here is social. All that 'dont think about it', 'say anything man' bull**** is great but everyone has their staple generic moves.

Sounds interesting lol, how do you follow up on that?

I think Rocky's approach makes the most sense. All that other stuff sounds like PUA talk.

Here's what's going to win you over with women, and anyone else you encounter: Being able to hold a good conversation. Because it's realistic. Women don't want to be picked up. They want to be seduced.

Not to sh*t on anyone else's approach, but "Hey. You having fun yet?" or "Hi. I'm meeting random people" isn't going to start many conversations. Talking about something the girl is wearing, what she's doing, or what is happening around you, WILL start a conversation...because that's what normal people do....they talk about things that are interesting to them.

Sure, I've scored some girls by saying dumb sh*t. Lots of us have. But look at your friends who are consistently pulling girls, and I'll bet they can talk. Not pick up lines. Not "Hey mama." Just talk. Like a normal, confident adult.

 

[FairShake]

Talk about cellphones. I swear they are the great equalizer and everyone is impressed with their fvcking cellphone. Or want another cellphone.

 

[Ease]

Here's what's going to win you over with women, and anyone else you encounter: Being able to hold a good conversation. Because it's realistic. Women don't want to be picked up. They want to be seduced.

Not to sh*t on anyone else's approach, but "Hey. You having fun yet?" or "Hi. I'm meeting random people" isn't going to start many conversations. Talking about something the girl is wearing, what she's doing, or what is happening around you, WILL start a conversation...because that's what normal people do....they talk about things that are interesting to them.

Holding a conversation is a different topic. 'Where are you girls from?' and 'What do you study/do?' are usually enough to get it flowing.

however as sexysuave said:

If you only have a split second without time to observe

This is true and a practical problem that you face. Sometimes you dont have time and ability to come up with something situational. That is why a backup is handy.

 

[sexysuave]

Originally posted by Ease:
Sounds interesting lol, how do you follow up on that?

All depends on their response. I don’t really have a script, just sort of go with the flow and try to insert ****y and funny and try to keep the convo going for about a minute or two (usually a lot of them will be more reserved until you have talked to them for at least a minute or two, so you sort of have to keep talking.. ). Some of them are quiet so maybe tell them a funny little story about whatever responses they give you, but after a minute or two they should be a little more engaged.

However, if they’re aren’t, you still wanna close it out, even if you think you’ve failed. So always assume you’re getting the number and demand it. In other words, you whip out your phone when you’re done, and be like “here, I gotta run, what’s your number”… and if they even hesitate for a second just start typing in the area code and say it out loud, obviously expecting her to give you the rest of the number. I clearly remember this freaking fine chick who was a few years older then me, very professional looking (later found out she was at a very high position in her company), that just seemed to be taken off guard and was a little reserved, but still ended up giving me her number.

I thought she was uninterested based on body language and all that good stuff, and just having so much experience that you can usually tell. So I was pretty shocked when I called her up to have her EXCITED and very talkative, and she apologized to be for “not saying much” when I met her. Lol. I’m being dead serious, this chick APOLOGIZED for not being very talkative. She was in my life for about a half a year, got to know her real well, but never even went out on a “date” anywhere other than hanging out with her over my place lol. Needless to say, that cold approach, while at a first impression seemed to be a failure, turned out really good. So always go for the close, no regrets this way.

Sometimes when you chat chicks up like this, they’ll start telling you all sorts of stuff, and conversation gets really easy. Usually I act like I have known them forever and can pretty comfortably talk to them like that. If you’re relaxed like that, they will be too most of the time. I’ve even literally heard from girls “I feel like I’ve known you forever” after simply knowing me for a VERY short time. The key here is to be overly comfortable and confident, and treat them this way from the very get go. Be playful and do some light teasing as well, so it’s not just “conversation” (most of the guys have plain boring conversation), but it’s also sexual conversation with just a slight bit of tension in there.

So once again, if you just say “hey, you having fun yet?” sometimes they will be very talkative at first, in which case you should have no problems doing a number close. However, if they’re more reserved, you KEEP talking for a minute or two, and they should open up a bit more by then. Find relevant stuff to talk about obviously but do be very confident and playful, and they will generally walk away feeling better, whether they give you the number or not (some are just simply taken, and some might not be interested, of course, they’d never say that lol).

Originally Posted by Mantis Toboggan
I think Rocky's approach makes the most sense. All that other stuff sounds like PUA talk.

Here's what's going to win you over with women, and anyone else you encounter: Being able to hold a good conversation. Because it's realistic. Women don't want to be picked up. They want to be seduced.

Not to sh*t on anyone else's approach, but "Hey. You having fun yet?" or "Hi. I'm meeting random people" isn't going to start many conversations. Talking about something the girl is wearing, what she's doing, or what is happening around you, WILL start a conversation...because that's what normal people do....they talk about things that are interesting to them.

Sure, I've scored some girls by saying dumb sh*t. Lots of us have. But look at your friends who are consistently pulling girls, and I'll bet they can talk. Not pick up lines. Not "Hey mama." Just talk. Like a normal, confident adult.

Oh I agree with Rocky’s approach, hence, notice how in the first line I said:

Originally Posted by sexysuave
If you only have a split second without time to observe

So yeah, obviously I’d prefer the observation approach, but it is correct that being able to hold a conversation is the key. So in that sense, it really doesn’t matter WHAT you say to start it off, as long as you can keep going. Hence, I’ve ended up banging on a ton of girls buy simply saying “hey, you having fun yet?” with a split second that I had. Obviously the secret was not the “hey, you having fun yet” lol I mean common, that’s not a magic question, but it got their attention for at least a few seconds, and that’s all that some people need to use their conversation skills to take care of the rest.

So if this has worked for me in the split second that I found, to chat up girls I otherwise may not get a chance to ever see again, I don’t’ see why it can’t work for some other people as well. Holding a conversation is an obvious skill, so I’m not disagreeing with you on that. You have to start it one way or another, and quite honestly, it really doesn’t matter too much how you start it (unless it’s something just extremely ridiculous) IF you do have this conversation skill down. Bottom line is, chicks will know that you’re trying to hit on them either way. It’s not like you’re disguising your “pick up” buy using more of a natural approach lol. But that’s not gonna stop any smart guys in here I hope, who know that if they are confident and skilled enough in their convo skills, they will walk up

The reason why any of these “work” is because you can talk after that and you have the right “frame of mind” and can indeed lead and hold a convo. Sometimes you have to see something work, in order to really believe it possible. And it’s not just regular “talk” either, you have to have a little bit of extra excitement and spice there, a little more confident, a little more ****y funny, a little more bold. I see too many guys that “talk” but are just dorks. So while you are having a “regular” conversation, like “normal” adults, this chick has to KNOW that there is a little bit of flirty sexual tension between you. A slight innuendo here and there, flirting not just with your words but also your body, use your eye contact, use your eyes and smile to show her that you are sexual and can make her do things that she doesn’t wanna do, and LIKE em! Lol

On top of all this, I’ve gotten girls before by saying all kinds of sh*t, so I know it doesn’t really matter how you start it off, as long as you got that flirty talking thing down, holding an interesting conversation, also sexual, also flirty, also some tension, boldness (yeah that ‘friend” that consistently pulls girls while single is me, to the point where I’m hooking up my other buddies with excess girls and having them hook their friends up with my friends lol). Just sayin.. your initial sentence doesn’t’ matter too much, just being playful and goofing around will open ridiculous amounts of doors.. Here, I will write these below in a new post, since the wording limits are surely not gonna let me post this entire thing in one post… but just some examples of how you can say almost anything at first, and then use convo skills to knock it out the ballpark:

 

[sexysuave]

Ok, so.... on top of all that, here are some other “d*mbass” approaches that have worked (of the top of my head that I remember and have the nerve to type now) and keep in mind all, I’m not saying to do these, but that just about anything can work if you start up a conversation and have the right frame of mind (OBVIOUSLY you will need the skills to keep the convo going in just about any pick up or seduction that you do):

“hey, nice ass!” (standing around with my softball teammates after one of our league games, and some chicks walking by). She laughed and said “come grab it” and I didn’t hear her and she said “wimppp” and they kept walking and laughed.. my buddies told me what she said and I laughed, but about 15 minutes later she was walking back to her car in the parking lot, and as soon as I saw her I walked right up, no hesitation, and literally grabbed her ass. Few minutes later, I had her number (with my friends BSing around and cheering and joking around), few days later, she was in my bed.. first thing I said to her way “hey, nice ass”

“wowwwwww” (while in the DMV line, in front of like tens and tens of people, this hottie was there and I just didn’t give a sh*t and blurted that out really loud while staring at her and she busted up laughin and turned around). Well I walked up to her and was like “sooo hey, what’s going on” (very confidently obviously lol you have to have the right frame of mind for these types of approaches), and she actually kinda blushed and was like “haha hey not much, what’s up”.. long story short, she ended up getting lucky too … first thing I said to her was “wowwwwwwww”

“I didn’t know redheads drink 2% milk” (at the dairy section of grocery store, this nice redhead was getting her milk, she said something flirty back, can’t remember what, and we kept this flirting going on for a few minutes… I told her to give me her number and she gave it to me, she asked for my name and I said “james bond”, I asked her and she says “I guess I’m redhead, as long as you’re james bond”. I kept this role play for a while, I had her come over for the very first time while pretending to be my “bond girl” and that she was on a secret mission to tell me something that could have an impact on the lives of thousands. I told her to make sure she is not followed and knock quietly exactly five times and be extra quiet and not say a word when I let her in until I tell her it’s ok to talk… she laughed her ass off told me I was fu*king insane and outta my mind, but she did come over, and got nailed in this very role of me being james bond and her being my bond chick “redhead”.. I never took her out once, but kept fuc*ing her for a good year, maybe once or twice a month.. She never knew my real name, only knew me as “James Bond”, and I only knew her as “Redhead” (she tried asking a few times but I just kept the role).. first thing I said to her was “I didn’t know redheads drink 2% milk”.

“I wanna f*ck the living sh*t outta you” (at a party, I was drunk, but this fine chick was just cracking up and blushing when I said it. If you come with enough authority and frame of mind, you CAN do stuff like this sometimes. Obviously I don’t go telling people to do this, but if you got it in you, and you’re bold and confident enough, then yes, some chicks will melt at that. This chick was I guess one of them, she kept flirting with me and I was very upfront with her and that same night she was actually screaming “f*ck me, f*ck me, do whatever the f*ck you want with me” as I was railing her… lol, that kinda stood out so I remember it, but I just loved hearing it.. funny I had the condom break on this one, and when I got done I called my brother kinda freaking out a bit (really late at night) and he was like “what the f*ck” and I told him what happened and he was like “damn, what did you do” and I’m like “I put a new one on and kept screwing her” and he was like “well sounds like you were REALLY f*cking concerned about it assh*le, I’m going back to sleep” click lol. But anyway, first thing I said to her was “I wanna f*ck the living sh*t outta you”.

(said nothing, but just handed this girl a paper with my number and words “call me” while I just walked by her. Situation: group application/interview for a telemarketing job (LONG time ago, late 90s I think LOL), everyone is supposed to fill out their test and you can’t talk or exit the room until you’re done and turn it in.. I see this chick walking in, pretty damn good looking and I catch her eye contact for about a second or two.. she sits down in a row behind me, but all the way towards the wall.. I get up in a minute or two, walk up and tell the dude that I have to use the bathroom, he says no bathroom but I said I really had to go, I’ll be back in a second.. I go to the restroom, whip out a paper and write my number and “call me” and walk back.. as I’m walking back to my row, she was the ONLY one that looked up as I was passing by, and I dropped the piece of paper on her desk and just gave her eye contact and a smile, she took it and smiled back.. she was done with her test before I was, and actually called me WHILE I was still in there and left me a message to call her back.. she lived alone and I was at her place the next night and she said how that must have taken some balls to do, and asked me if I’ve done it before.. she ended up getting lucky also… I didn’t even say a word to her at first..

“hey, what’s your number” (driving and seeing some hotties next to me in the car, and just rolled down my window and straight up asked for their number..) I got the number, and later on ended up talking to her on the phone for a while, and she was laughing about how silly it is how we met.. but she ended up getting lucky also… first thing I said to her was “hey, what’s your number”…

I could keep going on and on.. and I hate how I’m giving these stories in such short versions where there is so much more that could be taken from it as I like to get into details a lot, but the point is, anything CAN work, if you have the right frame of mind, are confident enough, and bold enough, and take action. It really doesn’t matter much what you say when you start it off. So sure, normal everyday guys are better off starting with an observation, but in extreme scenarios where this is not an option, and you only have a split second.. just say anything, even “are you having fun yet” lol

Or just stop her with that “Excuse me, can I ask you a quick question” (I talked about this one a few weeks back, it’s only to be used also when there is just no time at all to make a normal approach”

You: “excuse me, can I ask you a quick question”
her: “umm, sure”
you: (look at her first suspiciously for like 5 seconds) “are you single”
her: (giggle) umm, yeah
you: “listen, I gotta run, but I’ll call you, what’s your number” (whip out your phone and if she hesitates even for a second just start typing in the area code and saying it out loud, most of the time, they will follow right up with a number)

With this approach, you gotta follow up right away and call her, as there is much more of a chance of flaking if you wait.. so same day or very next day hookups are a must here, otherwise it will be too late.. a lot of times I just text them or call them right away as I’m walking away, and try to set something up soon..

Even if she says ‘no, I’m not single” almost always they will follow it up with “but thank you though, I really appreaciate it!!” or “no, but that just made my day, thanks!” so either way you’re doing a good thing.. I’ve literally NEVER had a negative response on this, and the chicks that I ended up hooking up with from this approach sure made it worth it lol.. never care too much about the approaches or how you open.. if you take pressure of the situation, things that don’t normally work will start working, also as you gain experience, you will be able to “get away” with more and more stuff and require “less and less game” as your frame of mind is so strong to the point that you CAN just walk up to a girl and just tell her to give you her number or even just ask her to meet with you right there and then, and follow you, like “let’s go over here, we’re going to this coffee shop” and literally have girls just follow along and be like “ok soo what are we doing, what’s going on?” lol

 

[sexysuave]

This one didn't fit above due to word limits lol, but yeah:

“Heyyyyy, what’s up, what’s going on, I haven’t seen you forever!!!!” (At macys at the mall, with my hands stretched out, going in and giving this absolutely HB9.5 a hug.. keep in mind, I’ve never seen this girl before in my life.. ) I was sarging with this guy that actually is one of the main guys on Style’s team, and the entire time he thought I already knew this girl. She was laughing and we had a nice little chat.. I asked her what she’s been up to and she told me a few things, and one of them “hanging out with ****, my boyfriend” and I answer “ohhh, no, you’re still with that duchebag?” and she started cracking up and was like “haha yeah I guess” and I’m like (to my sarging buddy) “dude, me and this chick used to date back in high school, but I eventually had to dump her, and now she’s with this one clown..” and he started laughing and so did she, she kept GOING ALONG will all of this and we talked for a few minutes, with BULLSH*T stories and made up stuff and both me and her just laughed as we talked, and we got my sarging buddy involved as well and told him these “stories” .. I was mainly clowning, talking about how she was so into me and did desperate sh*t and I had to ditch her ass lol.. she was loving it though.. get this.. at the end of this convo.. I take out my phone and say “you know I deleted your old number before, what’s your new number?” and this chick gives me her number without hesitation… as we’re walking away, this dude was like “damn man, she’s pretty fine, you hit that when you went out with her?” I’m like “dude, I’ve never seen this chick before in my life!” LOL, he didn’t believe me at first, but as I explained that I was just BSing and didn’t know this girl, he was like “damn, that’s crazy, I’ve seen a lot of stuff but never an approach like that” I’m like “yeah, I was just goofing off mainly, had no idea where I was even going with it, I just didn’t give a sh*t”