conversation help

[nacho]

i know this chick, im really interested in her. weve gone out a few times and all these times theres been many silences between us. i try to talk to this girl and i get short answers, so i try to do the talking. her reactions to some of the things i say is looking away. well she asked me out again this thursday for some drinks and a show.
normally i would think shes not interested but if shes not why does she continue to want to see me? its not like we have good conversations, and i dont imply friendship between us ya know?

is there any siggestions on things i can say or do here?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Give an example of one of your conversation. What are the topics, what questions do you ask?

 

[mxylplk]

Do you talk about yourself? Get her to talk about HER interests. Pick up on small details which you can use to keep the conversation going. For instance, if she says she loves going to a certain club because she enjoys the music, ask her what kind of music do they play and other stuff like that.

As for her wanting you to go out with her but seems aloof when chatting with you, maybe she craves company in a certain place cause she hates to be seen alone. If you sense she's doing this just to get another guy's attention, maybe she's not the type of girl you want to spend your valuable time with. Maybe she's raised that way in social settings. In any event, try to raise her interest level with you by letting her talk about herself.

 

[GtarPlayr73]

Indeed, always keep the focus on her. Learn about her. Just remember the words WHO, WHAT, WHEN, WHERE, and WHY. Build questions off of those words. Never say anything about yourself unless its the answer to a question she asks you. Finally, don't ask any close ended questions, that is, questions that she could answer 'yes' or 'no' to.

 

[girl_in_a_boy_forum]

Some girls aren't talkers. Instead of silently staring at each other over dinner, go do something that's more like an activity, so you can get to know each other while having something to do during those silences.

Are you having fun with her? Why would you want to date somebody who isn't fun?

 

[nacho]

well im the kind of person that always finds a way to have fun, dancing is like the only thing ive seen her have fun with me. well i wouldnt say she doesnt have fun cause shes always saying things like "we should do that again"

the topics i usually ask concern like how was her week, or what has she done, and its still like short answers. i try tyo ask about work, what shes into like music tv anything. i really dont talk about myself unless im asked about it.

would it be too extreme if i just put the moves on her? i dont know this chick is hard to figure out... any help would do, and thanks for the feedback ive gotten so far.

 

[Myriad By Python]

I have a question for you. If she doesn't speak much, what are the reasons you like her? Is it because she is interested in you? Or maybe her body language? Or maybe she laughs at your jokes?

 

[nacho]

something about her, theres something that makes me want her. i really dont know why. i was interested in her before she knew me too..

 

[Myriad By Python]

nacho, you say you dont talk about yourself unless youre asked.

heres a tip. girls listen emotionally. if you talk about yourself analytically (i work 9-5 at this job/i cleaned my pool today/i took a walk to the park/) those are all logistical things. thats boring. i recommend you DO speak about yourself, in an EMOTIONAL way.

in order for a girl to feel comfortable talking, she has to feel like she can be comfortable around you. maybe she is comfortable around you, but that doesn't mean she wants to talk to you about herself emotionally.

so when you speak, make the mundane interesting. take...

"I went to the store today and bought some bananas."

and inject some emotion into it...

"When I got into the store, everyone seemed like they were rushing around, so I knew the was closing soon. I hate the feeling of being rushed around, I like to take my time. Even with things like eating, if I am rushed, I will get so frustrated. I like to keep pleasure and work separated, no mixing."

That's an example of speaking emotionally. I keep the story to the bare bones, and just talk about things I like and don't like. My feelings, girls relate to this stuff. It will make you seem more like a PERSON, and she will want to speak about herself now.

See how that goes.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...the topics i usually ask concern like how was her week, or what has she done, and its still like short answers. ...

Boring... Way too general questions. Be more specific.

...
i try tyo ask about work, what shes into like music tv anything. i really dont talk about myself unless im asked about it.

Ask her specific things about her job or specific groups/songs/shows, better yet tell her how you feel about theses things and get her input about your perception of these thing.

would it be too extreme if i just put the moves on her? ...[/quote]
It's fourth and seventeen and you want to go for the first down?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

nacho, you say you dont talk about yourself unless youre asked.....

Is that a red flag or what?

 

[Myriad By Python]

That's a red flag baby.

 

[nacho]

well i do specific on the things i ask, i didnt write down exactly what i would ask but it is along those lines.

what do you mean by red flag??