Contending life: The Struggles of One Man overcoming Extreme Hardship.

[Contender]

I graduated today, and I came out with a better social rep. I think I have a shot at banging this chick. :box:

I'm really starting to loosen up. I'm going to a club today.

After I cleaned up, and changed my clothing style to something that I actual feel comfortable in, I've been a ball of confidence. I've been getting complements and hit on occasionally - but it has lifted my self-esteem dramatically. I feel as if I'm on top of the world. I talked to a few HBs, that I would never have, a month ago, and I carried a conversation. Then, I signed their yearbook.

One of my girl-friends wrote like a novel in my yearbook - noting the sudden change, and how she finds it really hot. :rockon:

Going to the gym regularly, and soon I'll have a hot, hot body to compliment everything else.

I don't know what else to say... I think the initial transition is complete; notice, I said intial.

We, as Humans, improve ourseleves on a day-to-day basis; my job will never be done, but it can only go uphill from here.

:box: :box: :box: :box: :box: :box:

 

[Dimebag_Darrell]

Thats my boy!

Learn from this pimpin thug, all you AFC, can't get no p*ssy, bustin a nut on your computer screen, no car having motherf*ckers

 

[Contender]

Another Update.

Another day at the gym, today. I saw a beautiful woman walk past me on the way home. My workout buddy claimed she was checking me out.

I know she glanced at me, but I didn't know she was "checking" me out...

Bleh. I failed - I could have said "Hi" at least. This feeling of regret is tearing me up inside. I'm not going to let it get hold of me again.

I'm going to live a life of NO REGRETS!!!! :rockon: :rockon: If I see, or meet, and attractive woman I will approach them confidently. I won't make a big deal about meeting them; I won't worry about getting their number, or getting them in the sack; I will just have a fun time - a good conversation. Everything else will follow suit.

Secondly, I have two different dates tomorrow; with two, different, women.

One of them is a hot senior from my school, and the other I met at a friend's party yesterday.

Thirdly, I've been invited to a party today by a girl! :yes:

--My new mentallity/personaility will be very chill, and laid back. I won't approach women with the intention of sex; I won't pressure myself, or other women. I will just be myself, and aim to have a good time - a good talk.

If they don't like me FOR me, then F'uck you - Next, with my head held high, and proud, in the air. I am tougher than a stone; tougher than metal; tougher than the largest mountain on Earth; I'm unmovable.

I am the master of my fate.

 

[Contender]

:box: I'll be ready to take on the World by the time school resumes. :box:

 

[Mr_rogers]

You sir, kick ass. Keep it up!

 

[Dj Joey]

Let me give you a helping hand.

Read this guy's threads. They are guaranteed to inspire you and help you. When you're feeling down, come here and read this guy posts. Believe me, It made me successful and I can help you too!

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/search.php?searchid=89819

I love this guy! (not in a gay way lol)

 

[Contender]

Parrrty Update

Let me put it to you guys bluntly. I crashed and burned.

I failed to approach the beautiful women at the club/lounge. I knew a handful of people, and the DJ; but, regardless, it was bad.

I was too timid to even approach some girls. However, in the end, I did have a few small, insignificant conversations with random girls - I didn't know them, but it was dull.

I didn't dress well for the event, and I didn't act comfortable, nor did I act confident.

I don't know what the f'uck to do in these situations. I walked around the block for a few minutes to cool off. I hate failure.

I'm going out again tomorrow with a few friends to another club/lounge. Hopefully, I can step it up a notch. I'm not going to give a **** and approach a drop dead gorgeous woman, Smile as if there's no tomorrow, and say "Hey, I like that shirt you're wearing."

God, tonight was awful.

Girls can be so frustrating.

EDIT: I just remembered, one REALLY beautiful girl... one who I had a fancy for since Freshman year, started to just talk to me. At first, I tried to get her attention twice, but she seemed to blow me off. Then, she began to talk to me a little bit later about college and stuff.

Then, she moved on or something. I saw her dance... really hot.

I think my MAIN problem is not the lack of things to talk about with a girl... it's more of a self-esteem issue - I still lack self-confidence; the only way I can overcome that is to push it aside until I can prove that I am attractive, and that I CAN get any girl I want. Only then, can I pronounce myself "Confident."

Maybe I'm looking at it the "wrong" way, but right now I feel like sh't. If I was around ugly girls, I'd be beaming in confidence because I know I'm better.

But, these women are drop-dead gorgeous; hence, the dramatic decline in my self-esteem. I need to get to where I deserve - ON TOP. I want to be the guy all the girls dream about - positively. I want to be THE man; you know?

I know I can be like that. I know it's IN me. But it's caged. When I'm tipsy, I'm a perfect guy; really. I'm funny, playful, and most importantly, nothing is holding me back.

 

[Mr_rogers]

Remmeber that no matter how beautiful the woman in question is, she's still just another girl, and is subject to everything that you've learned as a DJ, same as anyone else.

As for you lacking self-esteem, you may have a problem with something else that you're doing in your life. For example, you mentioned earlier that you were going to start eating healthier. Have you kept this up? I know that if you don't keep promises to yourself, you feel worse about yourself, because you're no sure if you're trustworthy anymore, right? I'd check to make sure that you're ok on that front before looking any deeper.

If you find that this isn't the problem, than maybe you feel that you're lacking something (something material, I mean), and that you don't feel that you can succeed with women without that object(s)? You said that you didn't look/dress all that well. You need to ask yourself; Why not? Why didn't I? Was I just too busy? Was I in a rush? Was I too lazy?

Once you get answers to these kinds of questions, it becomes time to just push your low confidence aside and "just do it", but if there's still something holding you back (whatever it may be), make sure to sort that out first.

 

[Contender]

Update

Remmeber that no matter how beautiful the woman in question is, she's still just another girl, and is subject to everything that you've learned as a DJ, same as anyone else.

As for you lacking self-esteem, you may have a problem with something else that you're doing in your life. For example, you mentioned earlier that you were going to start eating healthier. Have you kept this up? I know that if you don't keep promises to yourself, you feel worse about yourself, because you're no sure if you're trustworthy anymore, right? I'd check to make sure that you're ok on that front before looking any deeper.

If you find that this isn't the problem, than maybe you feel that you're lacking something (something material, I mean), and that you don't feel that you can succeed with women without that object(s)? You said that you didn't look/dress all that well. You need to ask yourself; Why not? Why didn't I? Was I just too busy? Was I in a rush? Was I too lazy?

Once you get answers to these kinds of questions, it becomes time to just push your low confidence aside and "just do it", but if there's still something holding you back (whatever it may be), make sure to sort that out first.

Yeah, regardless of the obstacles I must PUSH through that pain. As for my other promises - I am sticking to them!

I went to the beach today, and I was surrounded by women; five girls, and one guy (ME). I talked, and talked; I made them laugh, kinoed, flirted, relaxed, and had a good time. I had no pressure to do anything with them after the beach, ever... and lo' and behold, I'm going out soon with them.

P.S. I have their numbers. :rockon:

I met them at the beach, too. :box:

Oh, and did I mention they are DROP DEAD GORGOUS?! They have perfect, slim, sexy bodies with the nicest a'ss I ever saw. O-h m-y g-o-d- I love summer! One of them even brushed sand off her breasts, and I caught a sneak peak. She noticed and she was like heyy. I replied with hey... you get to see my breasts (and i make a little cleavage), so it's only fair...

I have decent pecs.




One of them goes to college already.

Ahhh, they were soooo hot.


I AM THE KING OF THE WORLD WOooO! They even neg'ed me. Usually I would take it to heart, being self-conscious and ****, but I played with them. HAhaha Best day.

 

[October]

Congratulations on your successes...I like your motivation.

Remember, change comes from within. Change/improvement will not come in a moment or the accomplishment of a single goal...but a complete change in lifestyle/mindset.

And "happiness" is internal...not external. Whether or not you get the girl, or the outer validation of your perception of yourself as a "pimp" in your own mind should not affect your self-esteem in that you should not rely on them to feel confident in yourself. You should not try to overcome other people so much as you should aim to overcome yourself. Not to prove yourself to others...but your own sake.

Confidence/"happiness" are achieved inwardly...NOT ******DLY...remember that. And remember your motives for improvement...not to conquer or to prove yourself to others...but to conquer yourself...

 

[Contender]

Update

Thanks for the excellent advice. I read that before I went out, and it relaxed me. You know, it's all in my head. I'm the one being unreasonably harsh to myself; like, the girls may not even think negatively of me... I just have high expectations for myself.

UPDATE

I went out after the beach a few hours later, and I had the BEST night of my life.

Let's put it this way... I was the funniest guy they ever knew; I a girl's number... and not just any girl... the hottest girl of the group - and the hottest girl I ever approached. Before I left... she whispered, and gestured with her hands, "call me."

I was like to myself.... SCORE! Contender is ON-TRACK!

::does a little dance::

Oh, wow. If only I remembered the things I said for a FR. Haha...

I blew out the competition so badly, it was just me and a bunch of girls at the end. I was funny, sweet, playful, flirtatoues, and a great person to be around.

They neg'ed me teasingly... and I got them back. I got a massage... I massaged a few of them... grabbed their asses... tehee

they are the HOTTEST girls at school, bro. Lo' and behold, the dorkest guy of High School, is the funniest guy they know.

I was laid back. I didn't pressure them with my presence. I chilled. I ordered food, and I ate. Playing around with them; flirted...

I was just being myself... with confidence. And, I was accepted by them.

And, I wasn't looking for it. I took the advice October gave me.

I'm basically set now for life. I'm just going to keep this up. I'm good.

Yo, I really wish I could be specific... besides, I'm a little scared that someone I know might read this and use it against me. So, I'm being as general as possible.

But, I was popular today. I knew a lot of people from last night's clubbing.

10/10 of a night. It's 4 AM now, and I just came back home... time to sleep.


BTW, when SHOULD I call back?? I'm not really "feeling" the game. I want to be chill, mysterous, etc.

I think I'll call tomorrow (Saturday). Agreed?

 

[Mr_rogers]

I'd wait until Sunday or even Monday myself, but that's just me. Congrats on your progress! Keep it up!

 

[Contender]

Why wait so long though? I really, really want to see her. She's freggin' cool, and banging hot! Reow!

She used to be a model for christ sake, bro!

[Edit] What's the big deal if I call her today? She WANTS me to call. She told me that after I dropped them (the girls) off. That's a great sign.

But, I don't want to lose that great connection we had. I don't want to come off as a creep, or become predictable. I think I'm worse in actual relationships, then meeting girls now - ironically, I thought it was the other way around; but talking is easy!

I'm not mysterious by nature. I'm a straightforward guy; I don't bullsh't. However, I'm not predictable. I have brilliant ideas for places to go and ****. And, in accordance to a newly developed inside joke, I know where to take her when WE go out (alone).

But, when should I initiate the date? Should I make the plans for tonight, considering I chilled with her yesterday, or should I make plans for tomorrow (Sunday), or....

I really hate this game. Why are there these f'cking rules to not call ASAP? I don't see the big deal. The only thing I see is apprehension. The ONLY reason why I would wait at this point, is fear. I'm nervous now, haha.

I'm not going to let her change me. I'll continue being myself - the person she fell for.

But back on subject... Why should I wait to call back? How long should I wait? Does it matter if I call her today? etc..

 

[Contender]

F'ck it. I called her already. Now, I'm going to wait for her to return my call.

After like 30 minutes of waiting... I realized this is the hardest part - being patient.

 

[Potbelly]

Dude, don't wait if you don't want to. It's such a small ass thing you don't even have to car for it. The reason BEHIND the waiting is what you gotta understand. AFCs are DESPERATE so they call IMMEDIATELY but if you're not desperate, you got nothing to worry about man. Plus, who the fvck wrote this "rule book"??? NOBODY so fvk that and DO WHAT YOU WANT MAN. Don't let fake rules hold u back. Just dont' go AFC and you'll be fine. Speaking of fine, you're doing mighty fine.

 

[stan kwero]

We, as Humans, improve ourseleves on a day-to-day basis; my job will never be done, but it can only go uphill from here.

Dude, your first post has inspired me to continue bettering myself(all i did last time was get new clothes). Keep up the good work, it seems you've made huge progress.

thanks for the inspiration

 

[Contender]

Thanks for the warm words. Good luck to you!

I already called her. As Potbelly said, F'ck the "rules."

I reached her finally. The convo went well. She was playful... teased me, etc.

She's busy though for the next two days... so I'm going to give her a call on Tuesday... unless she calls me back (hopefully) and ask her out then.



P.S. I hooked my friend up with a HOT girl that I met recently. Hehe, and I found another chick whose into me.


I'm going to turn this into a FR/Progress Journal; and I'll ask for personal advice and FR advice here.

So, stay tuned.

 

[Wonderbread166]

There's just not enough of this on the forums. Contender, this kicks ass.

We're all with you man.

 

[B-Lemond]

I'm rooting for you Contender.

You are on your way!

 

[don juan jr]

This is very truly inspiring. It makes me want to change.

Keep it up brother