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What happens, IN HER MIND, is that she comes to see you as WORTHLESS simply because she hasn't had to INVEST anything in you in order to get you or to keep you.
You were an interesting diversion while she had nothing else to do. But now that someone a little more valuable has come along, someone who expects her to treat him very well, she'll have no problem at all dropping you or demoting you to lowly "friendship" status.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
You know what you need to do. Get away from her!Just about two months ago I got dumped (realistically it was a 30 day ish relationship). Not so unexpected, seen some signs. Went NC immediately after.
Long story short, I got some traumatic responses at first after the breakup from myself, going into flight or fight for 48 hours straight, no sleep.
By I do not know what miracle, I found some stuff on BPD, started reading. Spent the last two months fixing the insides that got spilled.
Healing pretty good, had no idea that monsters are not just made up for exciting horror novels.
So yesterday I figured, time to put the fox in with the chickens and have a clean year. Last step was removing her from my social media. Figured she would not notice for weeks. Boy! I was wrong! She apparently was obsessing about me and I get a message within the hour.
The message was about; her accusing me of all things not remotely true (Why did we not talk about you being angry?).
Talked for a bit, me trying to be Odysseus with wax in ear. Deflected all the accusations, held that line.
I disarmed her pretty good... happy ending or so it would seem...
Thought about it till this morning, aw I should send her a message that if she wants to talk about something I`m willing, to talk.
She had an episode (rage?) where she blocked me yesterday and unblocked me in the span of 5 minutes, forgot to unblock the messages so I noticed (she confessed).
Somehow it feels like I got guilt tripped into breaking NC, having her on my social media and we agreed to talk (exactly the opposite that I wanted when I deleted her).
But I have seriously no idea about what she wants to talk about. Deadline is this Wednesday, for the talk or some time after it.
Is this an attempt for her to not get abandoned? Or some other weird thing that I can`t see?
Having a gut feeling that this is all bait, seeing if I go for it, then she can say "kidding" just before the stab to the gut.
Any advice?
You're just trying to rationalize your feelings. You're trying to justify holding on. Don't. You know she's not a positive impact on your life so just... let... go....Thank you for your time and energy writing the replies. I have been doing cbt and got some books on it too in the last couple of weeks.
Right now I have this itch that I want to block her on social media, having it pretty bad, like every hour. This urge to delete its almost overpowering.
Blocked on all platforms where she can`t see the block only the one remains.
Yet, out of decency I think(that this person does not deserve) I am waiting till wednesday +1-2 to see whats what.
I am waiting because of myself, it is risky and dangerous (probably idiotic too). Probably this is making excuses.
Ever since the last episode of breaking NC, I had this strange feeling of letting go that was so hard before it is a lot more manageable now.
So maybe this is the main thing why I have the balls to see what the irrational texts will be.
I know that you can`t to sheit for a person who abuses people without ever being wrong themselves. Me spending time on a person who is borderline psychotic and has this almost unbelievable break with reality, is not smart at all.
This all reads like martyrdom, guys(me) you just can`t fvcking help cause they just wanna go in there and get fvcked again and again.
Thanks to everyone who replied and spent their time writing constructive advice!