Contacted by ex with some major psych issues, need some advice

[Spaz]

Haha okay dude.

I'll let it slide for today and allow the BPD troopers to have some freedom to ply their trade.

 

[Music_czar]

Haha okay dude.

I'll let it slide for today and allow the BPD troopers to have some freedom to ply their trade.

^ LMAO @ 4,300 posts on SoSuave in only 1 year. That’s 15 posts a day every day for a whole year.

In addition to the trolling you do on other website fora.. you have to be the most effective internet troll of all time!

Nice profile pic by the way internet troll

 

[LuceoX]

My mind has hard time grasping the situation. Can you message her and tell her you have aids, to stop fvcking contacting you, and to fvck off, and then add her phone number to black list, social number to black list, black list everything basically?

I hope you live a happy, long and fulfilling life man. Your two sentences made me laugh so hard, instantly felt better.

 

[LuceoX]

Big rookie mistake, bud. You'll learn.

Nobody guilts you into anything without your permission. Relationships are there to enhance and improve one's life. Tell us again how/why you think she contributes to yours and is deserving of your time?

MEN make decisions and stick to them (IDGAF, Abundance Mindset), "boys" (you I'm afraid) are easy to crack and manipulate.

Good luck.

Yep you are on point, I did give her permission to guilt me into it. I`m actually happy to say that she can`t in any shape or form contribute to me as a man or a friend and she does not deserve even a stray thought from my brain.
The thing is, I went NC to see what happens, didn`t even know what NC was two months ago.

So, I got this baby vampire here and I`m tempted as fvck to learn more(and now I have an opportunity), cause I set the boundaries for her manipulation.
Is this stupid, or insane? I know she wants to get a kick out of it, make up her mind at the last minute or try to emotionally abuse me.
On the emotional side, I know I have fvcking stockholm synd, I feel it.
I appreciate your honesty man, I am probably still a boy who can be fvcked with emotionally. Thanks!

 

[LuceoX]

Just a 30 day relationship.

And after getting dumped, you went haywire without sleep for 48 hours, then whilst getting ur insides fixed (PTSD?) these past 2 months you now are contemplating on meeting her.

Nice. Very clever.

Seems like you are the one that has BPD..

Yup, we were friends for a couple of months before that, talking on and off.
So the relationship was abusive, me not really getting what emotional abuse and constant stress is I went along with it.
I figured out after these two months that my childhood was so massively fvcked that this was not even a problem for me.
But my body started to break down because of 24/7 stress during those 30 days in hell.
So the ptsd was just a minor side effect, I don`t think anyone here cares about me sharing how being abused can impact your body(boy I have a fvcked up story tho).

Uh, I did not write that I was contemplating meeting her (my bad, did not clarify) texting is probably the farthest I`m willing to go.
I probably am idiotic at this point, bpd is also not out of the question, inquiring about a therapist meantime.

 

[LuceoX]

well funny thing^^, reading books such as

psychopath free
healing from emotional abuse
stop walking on egg shells
no more mr nice guy
sex at dawn

but we're all here to learn right

I appreciate your advice and wisdom man, golden is what it is.

 

[LuceoX]

OP doesn’t suffer from BPD, he suffers from codependency, low self esteem, and a lack of options. If he was too busy texting/whatsapping ten other sloots to come over and suck his dink, he wouldn’t even be wasting his time writing this thread and wasting any more time on his ex-BPD sweetie.

Codependency, not sure, would say that whenever someone has a problem, I usually can come up with a solution or at least a path to it.
Think this comes from me reading about 500 books in the last couple of years, getting some of that education that I was missing.
I know myself, trust myself, am terribly argumentative(in a positive way). After I identified that the other person has bpd probably, my guilt, shame, self blaming all went away in an instant, it was like reading what happened to me made me realize that I was dealing with a person with cognitive deficiencies.

Low self esteem, I am aware of, working on it. A year ago I had no problem with anything, after I started talking to this person, I feel I kinda got deconstructed. Yeah lack of options, right now so true.
Grateful for your insight and honesty, I know that any relationship or conversation is 50-50. I am also to blame for being and ignorant idiot and she is just fvcking sick.

 

[backseatjuan]

^Would you like to raise your self esteem? Block her say you have aids. Self esteem is a thing you have to constantly work on, whether it will be at the gym, or else where, it is not something that comes out of thin air. You have to get constant self validation just like b1tches do.

 

[Spaz]

Yup, we were friends for a couple of months before that, talking on and off.
So the relationship was abusive, me not really getting what emotional abuse and constant stress is I went along with it.
I figured out after these two months that my childhood was so massively fvcked that this was not even a problem for me.
But my body started to break down because of 24/7 stress during those 30 days in hell.
So the ptsd was just a minor side effect, I don`t think anyone here cares about me sharing how being abused can impact your body(boy I have a fvcked up story tho).

Uh, I did not write that I was contemplating meeting her (my bad, did not clarify) texting is probably the farthest I`m willing to go.
I probably am idiotic at this point, bpd is also not out of the question, inquiring about a therapist meantime.

Childhood is where a man receives his core values (principles - core programming).

Core values + current principles (how u think) + how you do things = results.

Ur core values will influence how you think and that in return influences how you do things which ultimately yields the results you currently see in ur life.

Think deeply on this and then use this information to be greater then before.

 

[LuceoX]

Childhood is where a man receives his core values (principles - core programming).

Core values + current principles (how u think) + how you do things = results.

Ur core values will influence how you think and that in return influences how you do things which ultimately yields the results you currently see in ur life.

Think deeply on this and then use this information to be greater then before.

Sht, deep stuff dude, you are right got to dwell on this.

The thing is, the results I have been getting lately are beyond my expectations.
I am tempted to use this situation to learn, but ultimately the question is. Is this hubris?

I have come so far and probably am ****y as fvck, thinking I can milk the bpd(instert any tag you want) for some valuable insight that will enable me not to fvck myself again.
Wrote the post initially, to get some support if people are willing and get some advice on, if I`m being really idiotic right now.
Is this messed up? Am I messed up? It just feels right people telling me I`m an idiot and that I have better things to do...

 

[backseatjuan]

Am I messed up?

Yes. You have a lot of feminine within you. You overthinking the absolute obvious. Your mind is your greatest enemy. You exist in at a scarcity level because you know absolutely no better. Your best pic forward into an OLD site and get some ass quick, with a different approach.

 

[Spaz]

Sht, deep stuff dude, you are right got to dwell on this.

The thing is, the results I have been getting lately are beyond my expectations.
I am tempted to use this situation to learn, but ultimately the question is. Is this hubris?

I have come so far and probably am ****y as fvck, thinking I can milk the bpd(instert any tag you want) for some valuable insight that will enable me not to fvck myself again.
Wrote the post initially, to get some support if people are willing and get some advice on, if I`m being really idiotic right now.
Is this messed up? Am I messed up? It just feels right people telling me I`m an idiot and that I have better things to do...

To subvert your childhood programming you'll need time to build up multiple principles atop each other for it to gain primacy over ur core values (childhood upbringing).

Start off by creating a few mantras. This will be your armor and weapon that equips you mentally.

It will take years. Many years but it's worth all the effort.

Alternatively as a stop-gap measure, is 4 you 2 reinvent urself even if you need to take on a new identity.

Good luck.

 

[ohrein]

thinking I can milk the bpd(instert any tag you want) for some valuable insight that will enable me not to fvck myself again.

There's no more to learn, you've learned it. Here's the lessons. Don't tolerate disrespect from women. Don't trade your self respect for sex. Playing psychologist with women can be useful as thought exercises, but don't stick around with a woman who's negatively impacting your life. You'll date plenty more women who will teach you how to set boundaries and not be a push over. Let go of this one before she starts sucking you back in.

 

[ohrein]

To subvert your childhood programming you'll need time to build up multiple principles atop each other for it to gain primacy over ur core values (childhood upbringing).

Start off by creating a few mantras. This will be your armor and weapon that equips you mentally.

It will take years. Many years but it's worth all the effort.

Alternatively as a stop-gap measure, is 4 you 2 reinvent urself even if you need to take on a new identity.

Good luck.

CBT is the mental equivalent of a suit of armor and a sword. It's fvcking invaluable and it's free. You can take complete control of your life and destiny if you learn to use it effectively.

 

[LuceoX]

CBT is the mental equivalent of a suit of armor and a sword. It's fvcking invaluable and it's free. You can take complete control of your life and destiny if you learn to use it effectively.

Thank you for your time and energy writing the replies. I have been doing cbt and got some books on it too in the last couple of weeks.
Right now I have this itch that I want to block her on social media, having it pretty bad, like every hour. This urge to delete its almost overpowering.
Blocked on all platforms where she can`t see the block only the one remains.

Yet, out of decency I think(that this person does not deserve) I am waiting till wednesday +1-2 to see whats what.
I am waiting because of myself, it is risky and dangerous (probably idiotic too). Probably this is making excuses.

Ever since the last episode of breaking NC, I had this strange feeling of letting go that was so hard before it is a lot more manageable now.
So maybe this is the main thing why I have the balls to see what the irrational texts will be.
I know that you can`t to sheit for a person who abuses people without ever being wrong themselves. Me spending time on a person who is borderline psychotic and has this almost unbelievable break with reality, is not smart at all.

This all reads like martyrdom, guys(me) you just can`t fvcking help cause they just wanna go in there and get fvcked again and again.

Thanks to everyone who replied and spent their time writing constructive advice!

 

[backseatjuan]

Quick question, before you go. What positive things have reading books brought you in your life?

 

[Ranger]

Just a 30 day relationship.

And after getting dumped, you went haywire without sleep for 48 hours, then whilst getting ur insides fixed (PTSD?) these past 2 months you now are contemplating on meeting her.

Nice. Very clever.

Seems like you are the one that has BPD..

I was thinking the same thing. 30 days? Oh come on. Lol

 

[Spaz]

CBT is the mental equivalent of a suit of armor and a sword. It's fvcking invaluable and it's free. You can take complete control of your life and destiny if you learn to use it effectively.

I had to look up on CBT - managing problems into manageable sections then solving each one.

Yes that's a very smart way of tackling issues of which I in part do agree as it is indeed viable and has the means to be more sustainable in the long run.

Western societies have a multitude of names for mental disorders which to me seems strange and even alien.

That said, I find that western society places too much emphasis on their mental state, placing blame on a condition - perpetual circular victimisation, rather then actually finding viable solutions to be free from it.

To me, when a mental blame is assigned then that signals a person's inability to move forward - he has limited himself.

On the flip side, when an acknowledgement of a potential mental problem is made known such as in OP's case then I know for certain he is willing to take the next step forward.

He might fail in his attempts to subvert his mental issues but his willingness to move away from blaming it upon others has put him nearer on the path towards being whole and being great.

Of that I am certain.

 

[backseatjuan]

^Funny thing. Eastern comedy channel made fun of America recently, about breakthroughs and discoveries in mental health issues and now practically everyone one in United States has a personal psych he sees almost every month. Get this one, a lot of it is business of selling you a problem so you can spend money dealing with it.

 

[Ranger]

^Funny thing. Eastern comedy channel made fun of America recently, about breakthroughs and discoveries in mental health issues and now practically everyone one in United States has a personal psych he sees almost every month. Get this one, a lot of it is business of selling you a problem so you can spend money dealing with it.

Yep drugs. Billions wasted on bull$hit. It’s our drug culture.
“Oh, your life is a little too hard? Here take this one pill solves all $100.00 a piece tablet of happiness.”