Contact between dates?

[smooth_operator7]

Hi guys, I read somewhere that it is good to remain in contact with a girl before a date, so as to keep you in her mind and to reduce the chances of her canceling out on you. Thing is, I asked a girl out on a date for this upcoming friday and she said she couldnt because she was busy, so I pleasantly asked her to suggest a day and she said how about in 4 years or never! She was putting up resistance. Lol anyways that didnt stop me, we laughed at it a bit and I told her like this: ill make an exception for you, how about we go saturday, take it or leave it. She went with it and agreed to go out with me on sat.

Now during the week I dont want her to lose interest and flake out on the date. So should I text her atleast once this week? Like something short and casual that doesnt relate to the date?

 

[smooth_operator7]

I'm a fun person, I enjoy dates too! lol

 

[Rainman4707]

No need to text her before the date.

 

[smooth_operator7]

She's young (thus immaturity level is higher) and its in a week, shouldnt I text her atleast ONCE? For example midweek, wednesday?

 

[Rainman4707]

I wouldn't.

 

[Rainman4707]

Nothing wrong with texting her during the week. Do as you please =)

 

[Stugots26]

The phone is for setting definite dates. Period. Unless she initiates, keep contact to a minimum aside from logistics.

Attraction and anticipation builds when women are AWAY from you and have time to think about you. She either likes you or she doesn't and there's nothing you can say that will help you. You can only get in your own way by texting, and look weak.

If she forgets, she was never interested. SHE should be worried about YOU forgetting.

 

[Thundernuts]

I say don't text her. If she flakes then she wasn't interested in the first place and you just saved yourself some money.

Any sort of contact initiation from you can be perceived as you thinking about her and wanting to check in which equates to being AFC in her eyes. Its not worth the risk.

She said yes thats all you need to know.

I've literally had women tell me right after i text them that something came up and they won't be able to make the date. Let her hamster spin a little as to why you aren't texting her. As Stugots said let her anticipation build. How you behave before the first and second date make a huge difference as to how she will perceive you.

Got to let the concrete dry before you start walking on it man.

 

[Stugots26]

It's been scientifically proven that women are more attracted to men whose feelings are UNCLEAR. Let women try to puzzle out where they stand with you. The more certainty she has about where she stands with you, the less she'll wonder about you, and the less value you have.

 

[smooth_operator7]

You guys have successfully sold me the 'do not text her' formula. I will only contact her the day of the date.

 

[European-DJ]

Depends, if you used to text her ALL the time, then do not stop texting;

IF you used to text her SPARELY, Keep doing this, do not increase due to a potential future date.

 

[smooth_operator7]

Espi thank you for your valuable knowledge. Let me clarify a few things just to make sure we're on the same page: I never text her.

Last week SHE texted me, and I took advantage to ask her out (we're both young, we don't do fancy dinners, we're going to have fun mini-golfing actually lol). She was thrilled and asked me when, so I told her to pick between friday or saturday cause they were the only days I was available. But thats when she reminded me we had a religious holiday on those days (I had completely forgot) so I canceled that.

I saw her the day after the holiday, sunday, because we actually work together and that is when I suggested we'd go this upcoming friday. We tease each other a lot, like REALLY a lot by the way, so that is why I didn't take the whole "4 years" thing personally. Anyways, she said she couldnt do it on friday because she had plans already, I then told her to suggest a day and that is when she threw out the whole 4 year thing in what I believe was a teasing way. If it wasn't teasing that I must admit she's got balls lol. But the MINUTE I suggested we'd go on saturday and that it was my final offer she agreed to it.

So lets clarify: I didn't OK her refusal of going on friday, I brushed it off and suggested Saturday. She said Yes.

I did not engage her in any form of playful text messaging, I am too busy for that. As a matter of fact we haven't spoken since.

After giving much thought to what you said, I have to agree though, texting her would make me lose frame. I will refrain from contacting her at all, after all if she IS interested she will NOT flake, no matter what.

 

[uadialej]

I'm a fun person, I enjoy dates too! lol


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mkiEugZ9pXI

 

[smooth_operator7]

I'm not flaming you but I sense a HUGE disparity in posts #1 and #17.

In my mind this chick went from being a challenge who was resisting you and rejecting you (2 times as per post #1), to a chick who texted YOU, is flirtatious with you, and even acted "thrilled" to be around you (post #17).

Since she's texting you and is "thrilled" to be with you, then I don't see any challenge at all. The interest is clearly there on her part. What more do you want from her? I don't see her interest dissipating, unless you choose to go soft on her and/or don't escalate things to a sexual place.

You're young and I also sense you're religious. I'm 43 and agnostic and simply want to fvuck as many women as possible, so my advice would be, invite her to your place this Friday/Saturday night and ask her to bring something to drink (assuming you're old enough). And then fvuck her. IMO sleeping with her will definitely make her even more interested in you.

What is your goal with this girl?

My mistake Espi, I haven't been making myself clear this whole time because there are too many details. I do feel like you have the right mind-frame and philosophy though. Which has pushed me to withdraw myself and analyze the situation from a 3rd person point of view.

I have concluded that she did agree to going out on saturday with me, but chances are HIGH that she will flake. She is probably uncertain about me, she is pretty young and might be confused about her feelings towards me: she might feel like she likes me or maybe only likes the attention stemming from our flirting. I will wait until saturday to find out.

I will not overanalyze this situation any longer, it is not worth my time. There are plenty of attractive women out there dying to meet me. I am ready to let this one go.

 

[smooth_operator7]

IMO sleeping with her will definitely make her even more interested in you.

What is your goal with this girl?

Good point. Chances are she is a virgin though. As for my goal? Start a relationship, I don't see that happening.

 

[smooth_operator7]

Thanks Espi, thats good stuff. You're a good guy.

 

[Thundernuts]

(high value) Men know how to use time and attention to attract men.

Don't listen to him OP you are literally being led down the wrong rabbit hole (sorry had to quote that when I saw it lol)

Seriously Espi is giving solid advice, but you must keep in mind to make clear what your intentions are from the get go.

Personally I believe you are reaching the stage where we have given you all the advice we can on this particular subject. I have been on SS for over 4 years and I have a very low number of posts. Largely because I'm busy but also because I'm a firm believer that you will never learn how to ride a bike if you never take the training wheels off.

Espi you got my respect, OP you got my best wishes and I hope your weekend goes good flake or no flake.

 

[smooth_operator7]

What do you mean by make your intentions clear from the get go? You mean i should tell her i wanna **** her?

 

[JoshSway]

Hi guys, I read somewhere that it is good to remain in contact with a girl before a date, so as to keep you in her mind and to reduce the chances of her canceling out on you. Thing is, I asked a girl out on a date for this upcoming friday and she said she couldnt because she was busy, so I pleasantly asked her to suggest a day and she said how about in 4 years or never! She was putting up resistance. Lol anyways that didnt stop me, we laughed at it a bit and I told her like this: ill make an exception for you, how about we go saturday, take it or leave it. She went with it and agreed to go out with me on sat.

Now during the week I dont want her to lose interest and flake out on the date. So should I text her atleast once this week? Like something short and casual that doesnt relate to the date?

Haven't read the whole thread so maybe this has already been said, if so, apologies but here is what I do:

If it's only a week.. I text once three days before to confirm, and then the day of, or maybe the day before, I text rescheduling the date by an inconsequential amount of time in order to not appear desperate and needy for confirming again and again.

So, for example:

3 days before: "Hey, how's your week going? Does XYZ still work for you?"

Then the day of:

"Hey, gonna be jammed up a bit today, do you mind if we meet at 8:15 [instead of 8]?"