Constant reminder of the thing that bothers me the most

[sanyo7878]

Hey guys,

I look alot younger than my actual age. Pls review my original post if you like

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=105374

I made alot of progress using the DJ bible and what you guys say. I've read about half of the dj bible. I have been doing so good, but I realized something today. I just went on vacation (with my parents) and was depressed the entire time. I'm so mad at myself for letting myself be depressed the whole time. I am constantly reminded of what bothers me the most (my young looks). I have a very hard time just walking up to a girl and starting a conversation in a way that will lead to a # close or whatever because i'm always scared she thinks i'm a kid. I always have things happen to me that reinforce this fear. Everyday of my life I am reminded of this. People ask me what fvcking grade i'm in (i'm 21 years old). People chuckle and ask for my ID when I buy things that require you to be 18 or 21. When I tell people how ask what my age is how old i am they always respond with something like "wow, you really don't look that old, I would have guessed 15 or 16". Then people give me the total bull sh1t line "well think of it this way, when you are 50, you will look 30" to try to make me feel better when they see my depressed look. I have tried to do alot of things to try to get over my fear of this, but I am constantly brought down by people. IT always seems like whenever i start making progress to becomming a DJ, I eventually get torn down my constant reminders such as the ones I said earlier.


I'm sorry if i have ranted on about my depression, but i'm just looking for some help/suggestions from you guys, so please don't ***** at me for whining.

Summary: always being reminded of what bothers me the most, how can i get over this?

 

[El MonoLoco]

enjoy it while you can....when you're older you won't want to look it....

 

[Driven2Succeed]

dude, some girls like the young guy look.. definitely enjoy it while u can..are u like small or short? if u are, start working out and get bigger..that will make u look older..

man its all mental, just dont focus so much on girls all the time..next time enjoy time with ur parents and enjoy what ur doing

 

[SELF-MASTERY]

Dude there are worse things in life than looking younger than you are. You need to just get out in the field and get your mojo running...

http://www.playersupreme.libsyn.com/

I don't always agree with this guy, but I believe that guys that are new to the game need all the help they can get, and his form of help is pretty good.

 

[theapprentice]

I know

Hey buddy, I know how you feel, dont worry Im not going to give you the whole alpha male, be confident speech which Im sure you have told yourself to be confident a million times and it just doesnt seem to work.

I'll give you a example, today I went with family to a really nice place in Virginia, the streets where made of old brick and the homes had a historic look. It was a great place for young people, and you could see alot of couples walking around. The streets were lined with nice restaurants and bars and there was a harbor near by with young people standing all around having a good time, drinking, eating, laughing.

I also have eyes, and I was very jealous and upset walking around seeing men my age, I am 20, seeing them walking around with women, holding each others hand, looking sexy. I wanted to be that man, to hold that womens hand or have a girl to go and have fun around town with. I havent gotten anything for a year. Sucks I know. To add insult to injury I wanted to at least feel attractive to the women walking by, and all the good looking, decent women didnt take a second look, or check me out, or the girls that I wanted didnt even look once. That bumed me out more.

But I've had this happen to me so many times, that I try to live in the very present because honestly you begin to watch you life pass you by, if you keep thinking about what you could do, or what you could have. I wasted a whole year, doing nothing. I dont even remember much of my last year, I spent most of the good times being depressed about what I mentioned in my earlier paragraph. That I wished I could have women and date them and go around and have somebody to hold on my arm. That whole thing.

Being so depressed only made me feel worse, so I started to realize that being sad and depressed isnt doing anything for me. I am losing out even more by being depressed about something that I have tried so hard to change but hasnt.

SO...I live in the very present moment, from second to second, like "oh wow look at that nice boat...I wonder how much space it has inside" or "Wow what a nice lake" or "these leather seats in my aunts lexus are so comfortable or man the smell of rain is so great"

This kind of thinking takes time a practice, I mean you will feel stupid at times, and you will feel that your just avoiding the issue by trying to forget about it. But if you dont forget about it and think about it, you will only get more depressed. When the issue cannot be solved easily then try to keep your mood happy.

But experience is a good teacher, only after you waste a year or some considrable period of time of your life being depressed, will you realize yourself that being depressed or feeling sad is useless.

Sure there are days you feel bad, like today, going to that place in virginia, made me feel bad that these guys had all these attractive women and I cant even talk to one without getting nervous. I have had only one gf in my entire life of 20 years.

I came home and I was happy my tummy was full of thai food and I pet my dogs.

I still feel sad and disappointed inside and Im not saying to forget about the issue, but at least try and enjoy your present life. I still feel bad that I have tried my best but I never get anywhere with girls. But I have made an effort to try and enjoy my day.

 

[Ace of Flames]

Try to change up your appearance some. Grow a goatee. Change your hairstyle. Wear more sophisticated clothes. If you wear glasses, get more sophisticated frames. Don't wear flashy tennis shoes.

Basically, get the mental image of a typical teenager in your head, and then try your best to look nothing like it.

 

[Luveno]

It's not how young you look but how young you dress.

 

[sanyo7878]

bump


thanks for the input!

 

[sanyo7878]

Hey buddy, I know how you feel, dont worry Im not going to give you the whole alpha male, be confident speech which Im sure you have told yourself to be confident a million times and it just doesnt seem to work.

I'll give you a example, today I went with family to a really nice place in Virginia, the streets where made of old brick and the homes had a historic look. It was a great place for young people, and you could see alot of couples walking around. The streets were lined with nice restaurants and bars and there was a harbor near by with young people standing all around having a good time, drinking, eating, laughing.

I also have eyes, and I was very jealous and upset walking around seeing men my age, I am 20, seeing them walking around with women, holding each others hand, looking sexy. I wanted to be that man, to hold that womens hand or have a girl to go and have fun around town with. I havent gotten anything for a year. Sucks I know. To add insult to injury I wanted to at least feel attractive to the women walking by, and all the good looking, decent women didnt take a second look, or check me out, or the girls that I wanted didnt even look once. That bumed me out more.

But I've had this happen to me so many times, that I try to live in the very present because honestly you begin to watch you life pass you by, if you keep thinking about what you could do, or what you could have. I wasted a whole year, doing nothing. I dont even remember much of my last year, I spent most of the good times being depressed about what I mentioned in my earlier paragraph. That I wished I could have women and date them and go around and have somebody to hold on my arm. That whole thing.

Being so depressed only made me feel worse, so I started to realize that being sad and depressed isnt doing anything for me. I am losing out even more by being depressed about something that I have tried so hard to change but hasnt.

SO...I live in the very present moment, from second to second, like "oh wow look at that nice boat...I wonder how much space it has inside" or "Wow what a nice lake" or "these leather seats in my aunts lexus are so comfortable or man the smell of rain is so great"

This kind of thinking takes time a practice, I mean you will feel stupid at times, and you will feel that your just avoiding the issue by trying to forget about it. But if you dont forget about it and think about it, you will only get more depressed. When the issue cannot be solved easily then try to keep your mood happy.

But experience is a good teacher, only after you waste a year or some considrable period of time of your life being depressed, will you realize yourself that being depressed or feeling sad is useless.

Sure there are days you feel bad, like today, going to that place in virginia, made me feel bad that these guys had all these attractive women and I cant even talk to one without getting nervous. I have had only one gf in my entire life of 20 years.

I came home and I was happy my tummy was full of thai food and I pet my dogs.

I still feel sad and disappointed inside and Im not saying to forget about the issue, but at least try and enjoy your present life. I still feel bad that I have tried my best but I never get anywhere with girls. But I have made an effort to try and enjoy my day.

amen brotha, you just described my life exactly. The only way I keep my sanity is trying to not worry about what depresses me and focusing on the good things in life. I try to enjoy the small things in life. I always look at things and say, "wow that is a really nice building (or tree, or bird, or whatever). It really helps me too. But i think that only prolongs my depression. I really want to find a way to break out of my depression and get over my problems completely instead of just ignoring them and focusing on happy things.