h2o
Banned
I was a bit hesitant to post this only because I don't have great experience with women yet...so I may get flamed for this, but what the heck. It's also my first real tip. I posted another tip a while back, but it wasn't really something I had written. This here is not very original either...so, I am forewarning you (more like a condensed re-hash of what I've learned from experience, possibly from a less common perspective). However, I do feel I have conquered the domain of approaching and rid myself of the fear of doing so in ordinary, everyday places. I'm posting it because this is something I have down, my perspective could be helpful to others.
And yes, it is long. Feel free to skip it if you want.
*Cliff Notes Version: FACE YOUR FEARS TODAY. LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF AND BE HAPPY RIGHT NOW, regardless...no excuses; besides, if you're not happy with your results, what have you got to lose anyway?
__________
Whoa, I have to say, to see the numerous experienced posters who have been registered long before me to come back and recently post about having trouble with approaches or just starting them and all…it’s just surprising.
I don’t mean to put anyone down…everyone has to start somewhere, it’s never too late, and we all progress at our own paces.
So, I’ve decided to post a tip. Not because I think I’m a master at approaching. I don’t even refer to what I do as “game” (you’ll see what I mean). Although I haven’t found someone I truly “connect” with, I chat up and number close pretty much effortlessly now, and it’s become very much like chatting up an old friend.
I’d like to share tips on how I think others can achieve the same level of confidence with approaches. I also recognize the following tips may seem like a re-hash of previously-posted information, but I like to think that I’ve put a new perspective on it
1) Truly love yourself. Love who you are RIGHT NOW. There are certain things you will never be able to change about yourself; learn to accept them and don’t allow such minor insecurities to barricade your journey towards happiness. When you finally do achieve those washboard abs, become financially independent and wealthy, and have the ability to pull women left and right, you will still be the same person. Learn to find true happiness now, because if you can’t have it now, it won’t necessarily come more easily with money, better health, or more women.
2) Bombard yourself with your fears. Recognize what you really fear the most and face it, everyday. Force yourself into situations where you will have to chat up strangers, give speeches in front of a large crowd, interact with the general public on a daily basis, etc. You can find such opportunities through the various clubs/organizations in your school, through various occupations, and in and around your community.
a. Were cavemen ever unconfident? Were they afraid of the giant Mammoths they hunted? Heck no. Fear and lack of confidence is a result of our upbringings and social conditionings. Realize that you have been doing something everyday for most of your life that has made you so fearful of approaching women. The only way to reverse that is to face those fears everyday - just as you were conditioned to have those fears everyday - until you no longer fear it. Instinctually, you really have no fear. It’s all in your head.
I like Gunwitch method a lot, but only because it’s one of the few articles on here that advocates being natural, being relaxed and yourself, and not resorting to tips/techniques. I believe that the reason people still have trouble even after having succeeded before with some approaches and come back looking for answers is because they have looked to these articles as instruction manuals. You need to start thinking for yourself. Some of you are still chumps (I don’t mean that offensively) because you taking these articles and tips to be manuals. The sexual state, for example, is something that you will project naturally as a male without even thinking about it. Yes, we have been conditioned to repress that feeling, but it doesn’t mean you should be consciously “projecting” it either. If you’re a confident, happy, healthy male (past the age of puberty obviously) with a d!ck and at least two balls, you won’t even have to think about 90% of what’s stated in the Gunwitch method. And this is not to discredit what Gunwitch has said, but most of it is basic male human nature. In fact, I recently read a quote of his that says “Get laid not liked!” Well, in fact, that is quite wrong, because it sells it as a method/technique, and if you are only getting laid and not liked, you will either not enjoy your success with women as much, or run into some soul-searching / happiness issues down the road. And that is why #1 is so important. The fact that some of you still think about “projecting” the sexual state or consciously focusing on eye contact, is because you truly have not grasped axiom #1. Love yourself. Once you do that, just let go. Don’t worry about body language, etc, your body will automatically behave accordingly…unless of course you are still nervous or unhappy, or are trying to use a tip/technique that does not reflect who you truly are…which leads me to my last point…
3) Be Genuine. Some guys have posted about this, in their dislike of cold approaches because they feels that it is “creepy” to approach girls with the sole purpose of gaming them. I agree somewhat, but it depends on your tonality, attitude, and how genuine you are. First off, don’t go out of your way to approach women on a daily basis. Don’t do the hundreds of approaches, especially not after you’re already over the fear of approaching. This is almost no different than being that “creepy” nice guy who does homework and projects for the hot girl in his class with the ulterior motive getting laid. Don’t be desperate like that. Of course, when you are happy and confident, you won’t even think about doing this.
a. You will have so many opportunities to meet beautiful women on a daily basis (unless you live in a prison or mental institution) that you don’t need to go out of your way or spend extra time creating opportunities; just make sure to take the opportunities you are already given. Yes, live everyday to the fullest, but if you don’t run into any hot girls one day, it is not the end of the world. Heck, even if you don’t for a few days, don’t worry, it probably wasn’t meant to be. You’re not trying to be a pickup artist so approaching women should not be a top priority anyway.
b. When you do approach, don’t hide your attraction. (I got this from various posters, btw) Be real. She already knows what’s going on. It’s been said many times that over 80% of communication is nonverbal. So, forget how a lot of this or that is AFC…what to say, what not to…it doesn’t matter what you say, but how you say it and your demeanor. If you’re being natural you won’t be supplicating, so even if a compliment does naturally slip out of your mouth, it will not be a problem. Attraction is almost all instinctual; sure it can be created, but created attraction will never be as strong as true, instinctual attraction. So, let her catch you checking her out, so what. Genuinely mean what you are saying. Listen to what she says. Forget all the tips and techniques, I guarantee you women will appreciate “realness” more than anything else.
Finally, when you fully understand these 3 things, you will be the smoothest DJ (atleast at the approaching in ordinary places stage...though I think these are things that will lead you to success with women in higher stages also, I can't state that for a fact yet). Personally, I have to say #2 is what truly helped me comprehend these things. So, the one thing you can do now to achieve this comfort with approaching is to START FACING YOUR FEARS TODAY.
And yes, it is long. Feel free to skip it if you want.
*Cliff Notes Version: FACE YOUR FEARS TODAY. LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF AND BE HAPPY RIGHT NOW, regardless...no excuses; besides, if you're not happy with your results, what have you got to lose anyway?
__________
Whoa, I have to say, to see the numerous experienced posters who have been registered long before me to come back and recently post about having trouble with approaches or just starting them and all…it’s just surprising.
I don’t mean to put anyone down…everyone has to start somewhere, it’s never too late, and we all progress at our own paces.
So, I’ve decided to post a tip. Not because I think I’m a master at approaching. I don’t even refer to what I do as “game” (you’ll see what I mean). Although I haven’t found someone I truly “connect” with, I chat up and number close pretty much effortlessly now, and it’s become very much like chatting up an old friend.
I’d like to share tips on how I think others can achieve the same level of confidence with approaches. I also recognize the following tips may seem like a re-hash of previously-posted information, but I like to think that I’ve put a new perspective on it
1) Truly love yourself. Love who you are RIGHT NOW. There are certain things you will never be able to change about yourself; learn to accept them and don’t allow such minor insecurities to barricade your journey towards happiness. When you finally do achieve those washboard abs, become financially independent and wealthy, and have the ability to pull women left and right, you will still be the same person. Learn to find true happiness now, because if you can’t have it now, it won’t necessarily come more easily with money, better health, or more women.
2) Bombard yourself with your fears. Recognize what you really fear the most and face it, everyday. Force yourself into situations where you will have to chat up strangers, give speeches in front of a large crowd, interact with the general public on a daily basis, etc. You can find such opportunities through the various clubs/organizations in your school, through various occupations, and in and around your community.
a. Were cavemen ever unconfident? Were they afraid of the giant Mammoths they hunted? Heck no. Fear and lack of confidence is a result of our upbringings and social conditionings. Realize that you have been doing something everyday for most of your life that has made you so fearful of approaching women. The only way to reverse that is to face those fears everyday - just as you were conditioned to have those fears everyday - until you no longer fear it. Instinctually, you really have no fear. It’s all in your head.
I like Gunwitch method a lot, but only because it’s one of the few articles on here that advocates being natural, being relaxed and yourself, and not resorting to tips/techniques. I believe that the reason people still have trouble even after having succeeded before with some approaches and come back looking for answers is because they have looked to these articles as instruction manuals. You need to start thinking for yourself. Some of you are still chumps (I don’t mean that offensively) because you taking these articles and tips to be manuals. The sexual state, for example, is something that you will project naturally as a male without even thinking about it. Yes, we have been conditioned to repress that feeling, but it doesn’t mean you should be consciously “projecting” it either. If you’re a confident, happy, healthy male (past the age of puberty obviously) with a d!ck and at least two balls, you won’t even have to think about 90% of what’s stated in the Gunwitch method. And this is not to discredit what Gunwitch has said, but most of it is basic male human nature. In fact, I recently read a quote of his that says “Get laid not liked!” Well, in fact, that is quite wrong, because it sells it as a method/technique, and if you are only getting laid and not liked, you will either not enjoy your success with women as much, or run into some soul-searching / happiness issues down the road. And that is why #1 is so important. The fact that some of you still think about “projecting” the sexual state or consciously focusing on eye contact, is because you truly have not grasped axiom #1. Love yourself. Once you do that, just let go. Don’t worry about body language, etc, your body will automatically behave accordingly…unless of course you are still nervous or unhappy, or are trying to use a tip/technique that does not reflect who you truly are…which leads me to my last point…
3) Be Genuine. Some guys have posted about this, in their dislike of cold approaches because they feels that it is “creepy” to approach girls with the sole purpose of gaming them. I agree somewhat, but it depends on your tonality, attitude, and how genuine you are. First off, don’t go out of your way to approach women on a daily basis. Don’t do the hundreds of approaches, especially not after you’re already over the fear of approaching. This is almost no different than being that “creepy” nice guy who does homework and projects for the hot girl in his class with the ulterior motive getting laid. Don’t be desperate like that. Of course, when you are happy and confident, you won’t even think about doing this.
a. You will have so many opportunities to meet beautiful women on a daily basis (unless you live in a prison or mental institution) that you don’t need to go out of your way or spend extra time creating opportunities; just make sure to take the opportunities you are already given. Yes, live everyday to the fullest, but if you don’t run into any hot girls one day, it is not the end of the world. Heck, even if you don’t for a few days, don’t worry, it probably wasn’t meant to be. You’re not trying to be a pickup artist so approaching women should not be a top priority anyway.
b. When you do approach, don’t hide your attraction. (I got this from various posters, btw) Be real. She already knows what’s going on. It’s been said many times that over 80% of communication is nonverbal. So, forget how a lot of this or that is AFC…what to say, what not to…it doesn’t matter what you say, but how you say it and your demeanor. If you’re being natural you won’t be supplicating, so even if a compliment does naturally slip out of your mouth, it will not be a problem. Attraction is almost all instinctual; sure it can be created, but created attraction will never be as strong as true, instinctual attraction. So, let her catch you checking her out, so what. Genuinely mean what you are saying. Listen to what she says. Forget all the tips and techniques, I guarantee you women will appreciate “realness” more than anything else.
Finally, when you fully understand these 3 things, you will be the smoothest DJ (atleast at the approaching in ordinary places stage...though I think these are things that will lead you to success with women in higher stages also, I can't state that for a fact yet). Personally, I have to say #2 is what truly helped me comprehend these things. So, the one thing you can do now to achieve this comfort with approaching is to START FACING YOUR FEARS TODAY.
