Confusion

[Don_Joffe]

I was in this girl's room last night(late) and we kissed abit and I also hinted sometimes that I wont kiss her(just to play hard to get). Yet, Ive noticed over the last few weeks girls are telling me "You are really a confusing guy" - What does this mean and is it good?

 

[diablo]

Magic 8 ball says: "Ask again, with more detail than 2 sentences."

 

[Don_Joffe]

okay diablo, if a girl says to you
"you are really confusing" - What does this mean? Is it a good thing and if yes, why?

 

[diablo]

Congratulations, you've just summarized your earlier 2 sentences into 1 sentence. I didn't think that was possible.

It means that you're confusing.

• To cause to be unable to think with clarity or act with intelligence or understanding; throw off.
• To cause to feel embarrassment.
• To mistake (for another): confused effusiveness with affection.
• To make opaque; blur: “The old labels... confuse debate instead of clarifying it” (Christopher Lasch).
• To assemble without order or sense; jumble.

http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=confusing

Doesn't sound too good to me.

 

[Don_Joffe]

I think you misunderstood my question. I asked If a girl tells you that you are confusing...what does it mean? I never asked for a dictionary or a defintion of the word "confusing." I asked for what does the girl mean if she tells you that you are a confusing person and is it a good thing if she tells you this?

 

[diablo]

It means that she thinks that you're confusing. How is anyone here supposed to know what you've said or done or how you've acted to cause her or anyone else to say that about you without you telling us specifics? An analogy would be you coming on here and saying "My car won't start. Why?" then expect us to say "Well, from saying that, it seems that the right intake manifold must have a clog in it..."

Ask a simple question, get a simple answer.

 

[Don_Joffe]

Good point let me give a brief summary:
We have been like "sex-buddies" over the last few months. She seems to want to have something more than that like a relationship sometimes when I go over to her house and she tries to kiss me, i decline her offer and act offish and other times Im fully into kissing her. I sometimes flirt with her and sometimes I neg-hit her, this has caused her to think im a confusing person...

 

[Easy Tiger]

Sounds to me like you have been gaming this woman for too long and she is getting tired of it.

 

[Don_Joffe]

If she is getting tired of it? Why is that she calls me atleast twice a week to come over to her house, she even goes the length of calling my work? (Im a barman currently)

 

[Easy Tiger]

Don Joffe asked:

If she is getting tired of it? Why is that she calls me atleast twice a week to come over to her house

Don_Joffe answered:

She seems to want to have something more than that like a relationship

She is putting up with the games because she wants more from you. This will last for only so long before the frustration makes her get over it. It sounds like this "You are a confusing guy" call might be the start of her frustrations starting to show.

ET

 

[Don_Joffe]

Very thought out point, Do you have any ideas for me as how I can be more unpredictable and to "spark" her thoughts of me?

 

[BLUEox117]

spontaneously change your clothing, then go back to your old style the next,

come drunk to her house and tell her to get out of your house,


tell her a "true story" about how your name is bill smith and that you've had to change names to get a girl to stop stalking you, and thats why you are not ready for a committed relationship.

 

[Don_Joffe]

Dude, ive been going to her house for a few months about once a week, she told me last night "everytime i see you , you have different clothing on".she was even practically begging me for her to wear my slick pants last night. She knows my name, lol. Dude, your advice is way off base, think of other ideas..

 

[Quick]

Confusing is not a bad thing at all. A good way of rephrasing that is that you're a "Mystery" to her. Mystery is good.

While she's trying to figure you out, she's constantly thinking about you, and it brings excitement to her life. You also keep her on her toes and ensure that she doesn't take you for granted.

Just make sure that you give her a little and switch the things you do. There's only so long you can keep someone on the edge before it backfires.

 

[Dingus]

Perhaps she's just used to guys that are too eager and the fact that you have pulled back some confuses her. I did this to a girl that I knew from the start was playing me. She'd come over and sit on my bed and I wouldn't touch, just sit there and watch TV. It drove her crazy and it always ended with her saying, "you're confusing me." And then she would just come sit on my lap or strattle me. It worked wonders. Unfortunately I really wasn't interested in her. She so damn annoying!

 

[Climax]

My 2c...

She is confused because the one day you wiull see her and you will be all "lovey dovey" with her.. and the next day u will decline her kisses etc.. so she will be thinking.. "wtf is going on in his head? the one day he wants to kiss me etc and then the next day he wont touch me, wtf is going on here?" .... see what i am saying?


Laterz...

 

[Don_Joffe]

Dingus- you have hit the nail on the head. That is exactly what my situation is, im doing the exact same thing, the lap thing, the watching tv and doing nothing thing, it works mad. hehe, I even used this tool, we were macking out and she started undoing my jeans buttons (i had her top off by now) then I said NO, stop, get off me. That is surely a sign of power, the question I have , How long can these situations last for? Anyone care to comment...

 

[BLUEox117]

Originally posted by Don_Joffe
Dude, ive been going to her house for a few months about once a week, she told me last night "everytime i see you , you have different clothing on".she was even practically begging me for her to wear my slick pants last night. She knows my name, lol. Dude, your advice is way off base, think of other ideas..

my advise is perfect, u tell her that story because its your secret, dont u understand? youve had to change identities to get a witness protection program, and changing your style can be as simple as wearing something dirty or wearing the same thing (as u mentioned u always got difernt thing) make sure u do the drunk thing, it works.


im giving u advice, so u cant say its off base

 

[Don_Joffe]

If i come drunk, then will just prolong this thing for 1 more night kind of thing, I may consider that idea...Your identity thing seems immature and too far fetched though, i may consider rocking up drunk but ill prob make a fool of myself, any other ideas you got?

 

[Don_Joffe]

Hmmm...
You need to create a “tension loop” to create attraction for you, these tension loops create attraction for you without your looks getting involved.
Tension Loop - Create the feeling of wanting and reaching and eventually chasing for you.
This tension loop leads to the Push/Pull situation...
This is when you emotionally pull her into you then you push her away from you and the cycle is repeated.
Its like going without your favourite food for a whole month, the pull for that food will be massive.
Your goal is not to hurt her but to mess with her.

At some point while interacting with a woman I might take her hand and praise, "You have the most amazing smile I've seen tonight...It makes me feel so happy inside!" She'll usually respond with, "Thank you!" Then I'll count the fingers on my other hand and say, "You know what: actually there were four other girls with really amazing smiles tonight as well. Out of them, you have the fourth best smile. I'm going to call you number four." And then I'll push away her hand. More often than not, women demand, "No!!! I want to be number one!" I'll usually retort with, "Alright, I'll promote you to number three for being feisty."

If the girl is emotionally disturbed she wont enjoy this but most girls would find this attractive.

Obviously, Im doing the push/pull situation where one night I kiss her then the other I dont.