Confusing Relationships

[ONCELOVED]

I HAVE BEEN SEEING MY GIRL 4 ABOUT 6 MONTHS. THE BAD PART IS SHE IS STILL TECHNICALLY MARRIED. THE DIVORCE IS FINAL IN APRIL. IRONICALLY THAT IS NOT THE PROBLEM. IT STARTED WHEN I WENT 2 FL 4 THREE WKS. SHE WANTED ME 2 COME BACK SO BAD THAT I CUT MY TRIP SHORT. I WASNT BACK A WEEK AND I DID SOMETHING VERY STUPID. IM GOING TO LEAVE IT AS SOMETHING STUPID REAL STUPID, INSTEAD OF EXPLAINING. NEEDLESS TO SAY SHE DROPPED ME LIKE A BAD HABIT, AND NO I DIDN'T CHEAT. NORMALLY I WOULD JUST FEEL BAD 4 A WEEK OR 2 AND MOVE ON, BUT SOMETHING HAPPENED AT THE BEGINING OF OUR RELATIONSHIP THAT HAS NEVER HAPPENED TO ME B4. WE WERE IN BED AND I WAS THINKING OF MY PAST FAILURES WITH FEMALES( THIS 6 MNTHS BEING THE LONGEST EVER) REPLAYING WHAT I DID WRONG AND HOW I HAD BEEN HURT. THIS IS WHAT BLEW MY MIND. B4 I SAID ANYTHING SHE SAT UP AND TOLD NOT 2 B SCARED. THAT SHE WASN'T GOING TO HURT ME AND WASNT GOING TO LET ME SCREW IT UP EITHER. THAT CANT HAPPEN 2 EVERYONE THERE IS SOMETHING SPECIAL THERE, I MEAN SHE ACTUALLY READ MY MIND DAMN NEAR WORD 4 WORD NOW I DID SCREW UP, AND SHE HAD NO CHOICEBUT 2 LET ME GO. THAT WAS A WEEK AGO . SHE MAKES IT A POINT 2 SAY THAT WE ARE NOT TOGETHER, BUT SHE STILL WANTS 2 SEE ME AND THERE IS NO WAY I COULD EVER SAY NO. SHE IS THE ONLY PERSON I HAVE EVER FELT SAFE WITH. IM NOT SURE WHAT 2 DO CAN SOMEONE HELP

 

[DJHoolahoop]

see the ironic thing here is that she said to you not to be afraid cuz she wasn't going to hurt you and yet she has.

now that tells me two things... either 1) she was BS'ing you to play games with you... or 2) she was being serious and you scared her off instead and she was saving herself from you.

now this stupid thing you did may not need an explanation to us, but what you need an explanation for is why she said she wouldn't hurt you and now has gone and dumped u.

if you say to us that you can't ask her that cuz she won't let you or won't answer it, maybe you need to tell us what it is you did to make her dump you if she was so set on not hurting u.

 

[Kevon]

Man, Im not a master, im still a RAFC for that matter, but bro, you are calling her "my girl" and this and that, and she is still married. You would know better than me whether the divorce is really going to be finalized. I am rereading your post and it is giving me a headache, for futer notice, one capitalized letter per sentence. So you are not together, but she still wants to see you? I would like to know what you did, and not just for curiosity sake, it would make giving advice a little bit easier. My opinon, however, is don't be so sappy. Did she say she is leaving him for you, or was she leaving him, and then met you. So you are looking for a LTR with this woman. I am worried that after getting a divorce, jumping right into a LTR is the last thing she wants. Also, if she cheated on him, she will probably cheat on you. I posted something *SIMILAR* to this a long time ago, and got the same advice, next her, I repeat, if she did it to him, she will probably do it to you. One more thing, dont leave vacation early, anticipation is good, it raises interest level. That is really all the advice I can give without additional informaion. Good luck though man

 

[DJHoolahoop]

true as it may be that "if she did it to him, she will probably do it to you" but the thing is that it applies to women who feel the need to do so. If they felt no need to leave, why do it? If it isn't within reason, then seriously the girl is f_cked.

here's the thing... i'm pretty sure that most of us end up with people who have had prior relationships, so really we're the result of someone elses poor relationship skills. Really, it's true to think that if they dumped them for you, that they could dump you for some other person. But if you're doing your part, maybe they just won't leave you.

 

[Kevon]

I will agree with that, but dumping someone for someone else is a lot different than someone cheating in a LTR

When she said that she still wants to see you, did she say LJBF? I am getting the impression that she did.

Again, knowing what you did would be helpful.

 

[DJHoolahoop]

when it comes to cheating, i'll agree with you on that.

 

[ONCELOVED]

ok heres the deal when we met i hd come across a bunch of pharmies(pills) she didn't like me having them, but wasn't trippen on it. i just tuckled them in a corner in the basement and forgot about them . when i got back she asked if i still had them and wanted me to try to sell them . well i took a mini inventory and wrote the names of some to find out what they were. and i swear i put them away afterward. 2 or 3 days later her "ex" was over there and somehow found them in a basket of her kids laundry (still in the basement) he totally lost it. and when i got home she totally lost it on me . i know that whether i remember putting them away or not it still falls on me. i understand that what i did was completely uncool. i could've sworn i put them away. either way it's still my fault. what messes my head up is all my life i knew i would head out west and that would be where i would stay and meet the person i would be with. and then when she spoke what i was thinking that just sealed it. i just cant fathom being in love with anyone else. we both have put ourselves thru a lot just to be with each other, and i would still take anything else just to be with her. i dont know, i just thought i had finally found her, the one i could make a life with.