Confused .. just a bit.

[AIR-PILOT]

Well here it goes...

I met a HB9 last week, by the end of the night I had her asking for my number. This was Saturday, I waited about 4 days to give her a call. That Wednesday I called her but her voice mail went on, so I left a brief msg. About an hour later I get a text msg from her saying that we should meet up that weekend and that she would call me ( she never did). I called her on Friday and with my luck she had to go out of state for some family matters, OK NO PROBLEM IN MY MIND, I HAVE OTHER DATES I CAN FIND. Just out of curiosity I asked her when she will be back, she tells me Sat night.

Now here is the confusing part..........

We bump into each other at a bar that SAT NIGHT, my first reaction was ****, what a ***** she didn't even call me or anything, then I thought to myself, were not a couple she doesn't have to do anything. I eventually went up to her and she said that she just got in and that her friends told her to come out, all I said was oh thats cool, I didnt want to seem that I cared that she didnt call me etc etc. Night went on and we were just chatting, she starts telling me that she was drinking from before and that she was a little bit buzzed from the drinks. Out of nowhere she starts grinding against me, coming into my face talking, blah blah blah alot of KINO. Some girls were checking me out so she grabbed my hand...etc etc. I know I could of made a move easy on her but I didn't on purpose, didnt want to give her the satisfaction, SHE NEEDS TO WORK MORE. At one point she asks me whats wrong and I said that I didnt like the place we were at, she turns around and tells me that I should be happy because she is here....I just smiled it off like it was nothing. Anyway the night ended and we kissed each other goodbye and I told her that I want to meet up for coffee this week, actually I didnt ask her, I told her, she said call me...

Some of you might be saying why am I confused, she likes you etc. etc.
Well I am confused..is this finally the test to see if she is worth my time, meaning if she doesnt flake out about coffee?? I dunno man this is really annoying....She is a HB9 I think that is killing me the most....im thinking like a rookie, I have other girls I can turn too..what do you guys think? What should be my next move? If any....
Thanks.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Don't grind in public - tell her if she wants to grind then go to your place!!!

Forget coffee - she is beyond that - she was grinding on you for crying out loud!!!

 

[AIR-PILOT]

Originally posted by PuertoRican_Lover
Don't grind in public - tell her if she wants to grind then go to your place!!!

Forget coffee - she is beyond that - she was grinding on you for crying out loud!!!

Haha yeah...
you think I have this locked down??
Coffee is more like a lounge for some alone time, I don't really know her that much yet..
Next move is to bring her to my house or hers??

Another problem that is sorta funny is that she is only 20 years old, but all of her friends are over 25+ it seems she listens to them too much, im friends with her friends so they like me..but its just funny...she was with them last night, but with me at the same time .:crackup:

PuertoRican....anything else? thanks bro.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

When she grinded on you she was either seeking attention and wanted a reaction from you or she was sexually attracted to you!!

Find out why she did it - you won't find this out over coffee! Go for a kiss on the first date and see her reaction - be with her alone and not in a group or in public!

 

[AIR-PILOT]

Yeah, im going to plan a date for this week or weekend...I will let you know what happens. Any more advice is appreciated.

 

[tmpgstx]

she turns around and tells me that I should be happy because she is here

Can you say "Attention Ho". This should be in the ******** dictionary .. whenever a girl says that you should be happy because she's there or going to be there.. rest assured she be an Attention Ho.

She's going to flake more. I wouldn't waste your time, because you'll be setting yourself up for some major frustration and dissappointment.

 

[AIR-PILOT]

Originally posted by tmpgstx
Can you say "Attention Ho". This should be in the ******** dictionary .. whenever a girl says that you should be happy because she's there or going to be there.. rest assured she be an Attention Ho.

She's going to flake more. I wouldn't waste your time, because you'll be setting yourself up for some major frustration and dissappointment.

Yeah that might be the case, I looked up Attention HO but she didnt fit the bill for a lot of the things people posted. She seems like a good girl, she is digging me I know that but the signals are mixed, for god sakes she asked for my number! If **** goes sour this week Im prob going to break it off..I will be seeing her though because we hang out at the same places, should I keep her as a friend and maybe sometime in the future something "may" happen? ( this is if all goes bad )
Also last night she was pretty drunk, I got the feeling she wants attention when she had to HOLD my hand when other chicks were looking...
Bottom line is... I really like this chick, I rather not break it off..any advice? Thanks tmpgstx

 

[tmpgstx]

I think it very well could be AirPilot. I had a similar experience .. it was all about her and attention to her (why? because it's me why? because i'll be there ..). It's not about you or any significant interest in you, is about the attention she's getting from you.

She finds you attractive, as AWs do when they reel in a new admirer. They'll act like your the most special person out there, get all excited when you mention this or that .. even make plans or ask for your number! It's all about reeling you in and getting you under control.

I would keep her at a distance and just bang her for sex only. This is all they're good for .. really. They're not long term LTR material at all.

 

[AIR-PILOT]

Originally posted by tmpgstx
I think it very well could be AirPilot. I had a similar experience .. it was all about her and attention to her (why? because it's me why? because i'll be there ..). It's not about you or any significant interest in you, is about the attention she's getting from you.

She finds you attractive, as AWs do when they reel in a new admirer. They'll act like your the most special person out there, get all excited when you mention this or that .. even make plans or ask for your number! It's all about reeling you in and getting you under control.

I would keep her at a distance and just bang her for sex only. This is all they're good for .. really. They're not long term LTR material at all.

Grrr how annoying, I told her I would call her to make plans this week..should I follow through and see if she kept her promise when she said " I have nothing to do Thursday, call me" ??
When I first met her, she mentioned that she went to some place with her Ex-Boyfriend, that gave me the impression that she is only looking for a relationship?? I dunno, im still confused!

 

[tmpgstx]

Oh yeah .. the x-boyfriend thing. I'll bet the farm it was a bad relationship unstable in almost every sense. The similar situation i had was the same, being friends with her x etc. (he's trying to get back with her). Give me a break. This guy was/is a moron too. AWs tend to go for the 'bad boy' types most often from my experience and have short relationships with one bboy after another.

Yeah .. give her call but don't be surprised if you get the old flake routine. If you don't get her, just say something somewhat rude and hang up. These girls respond to being treated like shyte .. hate to say it but is true. The worse you treat them, the more they respond sexually to you. It's crazy isn't it? The way of the Attention Ho. Insecurities and little self-esteem.

 

[AIR-PILOT]

Originally posted by tmpgstx
Oh yeah .. the x-boyfriend thing. I'll bet the farm it was a bad relationship unstable in almost every sense. The similar situation i had was the same, being friends with her x etc. (he's trying to get back with her). Give me a break. This guy was/is a moron too. AWs tend to go for the 'bad boy' types most often from my experience and have short relationships with one bboy after another.

Yeah .. give her call but don't be surprised if you get the old flake routine. If you don't get her, just say something somewhat rude and hang up. These girls respond to being treated like shyte .. hate to say it but is true. The worse you treat them, the more they respond sexually to you. It's crazy isn't it? The way of the Attention Ho. Insecurities and little self-esteem.

Haha, next question..
How bout if she keeps her word??? and we go for a date
does all that AW stuff go down the drain??
From what I have been reading, AW are just girls who are immature, once maturity sets in maybe they change their ways.
Yeah its crazy, im thinking of an example right now.."why were u so mean on the phone??, now let me suck your ... " haha.
Another annoying thing, her friend asks me if I smoke, I said no, she turns to me and says good! I like that! WTF..... what is going on...
Bad boy types ?? Im not a bad boy type, I think I just look like one. If that makes any sense

 

[tmpgstx]

From what I have been reading, AW are just girls who are immature, once maturity sets in maybe they change their ways

Yeah, it's immaturity alright .. but even moreso is about deep seeded issues with image and getting attention. Some may mature to a good level, and others will not. They'll continue on and end up with a less than stable LTR (if at all). Usually girls that are going to be mature later are already mature in their early twenties. They're already stable and well adjusted that early on.

By saying 'call me' .. it puts all the onus on you, meaning that if you get her you get her and if you don't you don't .. is not her fault she wasn't around .. had other things to do. In other words, she's not placing too much importance on getting with you. She probably has other guys in the picture and not just one but several.

 

[AIR-PILOT]

Originally posted by tmpgstx
Yeah, it's immaturity alright .. but even moreso is about deep seeded issues with image and getting attention. Some may mature to a good level, and others will not. They'll continue on and end up with a less than stable LTR (if at all). Usually girls that are going to be mature later are already mature in their early twenties. They're already stable and well adjusted that early on.

By saying 'call me' .. it puts all the onus on you, meaning that if you get her you get her and if you don't you don't .. is not her fault she wasn't around .. had other things to do. In other words, she's not placing too much importance on getting with you. She probably has other guys in the picture and not just one but several.

So basically just get whatever I can from her...Only problem is thats not my style, I get a lot of chicks but I rather have a meaningfull Relationship then just be on a ****ing emotional rollercoaster with diff brauds. Maybe I need to change my thinking and **** whatever I can.............cause I have missed out on a lot of ***** with the way I think
I dunno she knows me and my friends, she knows im not an immature idiot, I wouldnt think she has the balls to play games with me, im can outsmart her easy. I never see her with guys, just her girl friends that I know...GRR!
Another annoying thing, her friend asks me if I smoke, I said no, she turns to me and says good! I like that! WTF..... what is going on...
Bad boy types ?? Im not a bad boy type, I think I just look like one. If that makes any sense

 

[tmpgstx]

Only problem is thats not my style, im not a player, I get a lot of chicks but I rather have a meaningfull Relationship then just be on a ****ing emotional rollercoaster with diff brauds

Yeahp .. and that's where the problem stems from. These girls are dam attractive (it's their job so to speak), and they can be the most charming and intelligent sounding girlz on the planet! Hell .. Hollywood is full of them. They have an 'act' that is down to a tee!

Yeah, and unfortuately too the bar scene is full of these chics, and this is why guys that are not the player types usually avoid it alltogether and see 'good' girls thru family,friends, sportz, work etc.

I feel her out a bit more .. get a jist for if she really is an AW. If she flakes one more time though, then you know. It's up to you then if you want to treat like the bytch that she is or not.

 

[AIR-PILOT]

I know this is a written law, not to open your cards tell her how you feel and stuff..
For the past week I have done everything perfect, shown her I am indifferent etc. etc. That I don't need her, talking to her ever couple of days and not everyday..BUT..should I just tell her that I like hanging out with her and that I like her...will it do damage? Or maybe it will wake her up and I will actually get a "well I feel the same" answer?
By feel her out, what do you mean? Any tests?

 

[tmpgstx]

These girls are masters of the 'game'. In my situation i was doing the same, only calling once a week (sometimes every couple of weeks)! It didn't make any difference, so long as it wasn't over-bearing. She knew though, i was a 'good' guy, and not her proverbial bad boy type .. so she played the part! She was like little Red Riding Hood around me, being very innocent and 'goody goody'. I later found out it was an all an act and far from the truth and bytched her out for it and wrote her off (and she still trys to get my attention from time to time).

She knows your a 'nice' guy good for stable LTRs, and if she is an AW .. that's on the opposite end of the spectrum as to what she's about! She likes you, but is just netting you like all the other Shrimp.

The letting the feelings out thing .. she'll just play along and say take it slow etc. (yeah, and with other x guys in the picture too). It's always BS. I mean judge her character in being responsible to going out when she says she will and other things .. something a decent girl would do .. in other words no selfishness.

 

[AIR-PILOT]

Yeah dude, so I guess we will see?? I told her that we will go out Thursday, she said ok...
I will call her up Thursday afternoon and let her know my intentions, that will be the test...like you said a descent girl would keep her promise! I will let you know, you've been a great help..
If all fails, im just going to treat her like she should be treated, meaning try and get in her pants!
Ill let you know the outcome...thanks brotha.

 

[squirrels]

Take her out for some coffee...grab some DVDs and head back to your place.

If she isn't up for it, her loss.

 

[AIR-PILOT]

Yeah, thats what im probably going to do ... Let's see what will happen.

 

[optimist prime]

First, not a single doubt in my mind she flaked on you last weekend. She didn't go anywhere but out with her friends, and maybe with another guy, who knows. I do know she lied however, not a good start. From saying she'd call you when she never did to saying she had plans, lie lie lie.

Next, forget about trying to have any sort of meaningful relationship with this girl. I've run across her type many times, they will only frustrate and confuse, depress and sadden-if you want a relationship with them. However, you might be able to fck her so if you go into it just looking for that, I say go for it. Forget the coffee thing, thats for girls you want a relationship with-good girls. Take this girl out to some bar, maybe a club, and get her back to your place or hers and do her. She obviously likes to drink, and when she drinks she gets horny by the looks of it, so right there is your in. Use it to your advantage.

Good luck.