Confused !! Help !

[s.mah]

Hi guys, I'm new to this forums, usually i just read the posts by googling and finding answers in this forums, so I decided to join and start this thread, and to learn from all of you and to try to help prople here.

so basically the situation is the following:

There's a girl who works as waitress in a café, I went there once, and got stunned when i saw her, decided that I want to get her (NOT FOR SEXUAL AMUSEMENT SOLELY, MEANS THAT I DONT PLAN TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF HER IN ANYWAY).
so i started going to the cafe everyday and having little chats with her, and made it obvious that i was interested in her by only ordering from her and only communicating with her and stating that i dont want her to call me sir, just call me with my name, and also whenever i go there and sit on a table, she comes to me and greet me and we have this chat of how are you ? BLAH BLAH
after about a 3 weeks of going there (not everyday) I was confused whether she's interested in me or she had to be nice too me because I'm a customer, I decided to take a friend with me, (before, i was going alone with my laptop doing some work) my friend said that it is obvious that she's interested because she's treating me different than other customers, but still i was not sure so I took another friend and when we sat on a table, she came as usual and greet me, and I asked how is she ? she said that finally her day off is after 2 days, so i just asked her what did she do in her day off and finished the conversation, my friend got angry on me and said: YOU IDIOT! THAT WAS YOUR CHANCE, SHE OBVIOUSLY WANTED YOU TO ASK HER OUT ON HER DAY OFF!
the next day I went there and what happened is the following:

she came to my table as i sat and:
Me: Hey...., how are you today ?
She: Im fine, how are you ?
Me: Im fine too, so tomorrow is your day off right ?
She: yes, finally, im so tired.
Me: so wahts your plans for tomorrow ?
She: Nothing i will just sleep, im so tired.
Me: Come on, btw have you seen the aquarium in the city ? (she is new in the country)
She: yeah I saw it before when i came as a tourist but i don't remember that much.
Me: i have two tickets for a visit and a dinner in a restaurant there, would you like to go with me ?
she: thank you, but maybe another time.
me: come on, its ok, we will have fun.
she: no no, another time.

Then i said its ok and she went away and that was the first time when she didnt bring my order and she started avoiding looking at me, to be honest i became nervous a little bit but then decided to pull myself and be calm and i called her.

Me: listen, can i get another cup of coffee?
She: of course
Me: and I wanna tell you something, if you don't want to go out because you're busy, it's okay, but if you're shy, I will really be sad, because you shouldn't.
She: no its not like this, but honestly, we are not allowed to go out with customers
Me: aha, ok then.

and she went away to get my coffee and when she came back i said the following:

Me: Listen, if that is the real reason, then you will not say anything about it, and i will never come again to this place, i dont care about this place.
She: no it's not about this , but the thing is , i have a boyfriend and he will be angry.
Me: oh, Im sorry, I didnt know that before, ok then.

then she went away, and i called her after a while and told her

Me: Dont be angry with me
She: no of course, its okay, and you are very nice guy and kind and smiling. and we are friends, right ?
Me: yeah of course. (FRIENDZONED )

then she started acting super nice to me , and I went there 3-4 times after this and she still do the same things, and she started goving me two-handed handshakes after that day ( I dont know if it means something but i noticed it)

Now I know that some people will tell me to move on, but i have that stupid trait of being so persistent and i dont take "no" for an answer until I embarrass myself or the other person, so please any opinion on where am I ? and what do you thing the situation is ? and what should i do about it ?

Im sorry for being too detailed but i needed to transfer the picture clearly
and finally, thank you in advance for your help , and i look forward to participate in this beautiful forums !

 

[Tictac]

"After about three weeks....."

You were already dead and didn't even know it.

 

[Suspens]

Some foreign hoe who is there for big sultan c0cks and money. You are irrelevant in her life.

she: no no, another time.

in other words," you are acting quite scary, leave me alone"


And you view of persistence is flawed. Never use these stuff in your conversations again:

but if you're shy, I will really be sad, because you shouldn't.

come on, its ok, we will have fun.


Dont be angry with me

 

[s.mah]

Some foreign hoe who is there for big sultan c0cks and money. You are irrelevant in her life.


in other words," you are acting quite scary, leave me alone"


And you view of persistence is flawed. Never use these stuff in your conversations again:

Thanks for the reply bro , first by persistence i didnt meant these words you quoted, i meant that i cant let go easily.
I disagree about the " foreign hoe who is there for ...... " because it is easier for her hangout in bars and clubs than to work in this job and she will make 10x money.

 

[s.mah]

"After about three weeks....."

You were already dead and didn't even know it.

why ? (i am asking just for the sake of getting experience)

 

[s.mah]

Wow. When the second sentence in the thread was "I don't want to take advantage of her sexually" I knew this was going to be a head case.

Listen man, you're new here and obviously not very experienced with game and the DJ lifestyle. I'd like to help you become at least exposed to the material. What you do with the knowledge is up to you. CLICK HERE TO READ THE DJ BIBLE - The DJ bible is a book (bible) that will teach you how women think, what they mean by their actions / words, how you deal with them, etc. etc. There really is nothing quite as good out there, in my opinion.

Read this. Take it slow, make sure you absorb as much of the material as possible and read it WITH AN OPEN MIND! You will realize that everything you thought to be true of women is actually a huge lie. They are not princesses, they are not virgins, they do not dislike sex, you get the point. It's called the "Red Pill" theory. It's a reference to the Matrix movies. Red pillers are those who see reality, and blue pillers those who chose to not see the world for what it is. You really want to take that red pill, trust me.

Now about this woman: you really fvcked things up. You came across as: needy, desperate, weak, apologetic, creepy, and unsure. These are all non-masculine qualities and you will attract the wrong types of women with them (if any at all). Move on from this one and stop focusing on women for a good 3-5 months. Read the DJ Bible, start working out, and start IMPROVING YOURSELF! The whole Don Juan lifestyle is one that focuses on improving yourself and letting the women follow. Life, and more importantly yourself, both come before women and pvssy.

If you have any questions, need advice, or want to learn more PM me.

well, that was interesting, i will definitely read this book, and i admit that im somehow a blue piller, but just for the record, what should've i done in a same situation?

 

[Tictac]

If it takes you three weeks to be confident enough with a woman to begin to think about asking her out, be prepared for a long, lonely existence.

By your own words, you spent three weeks -THREE WEEKS - on "Blah Blah" and the took a friend with you to observe. That is plain analysis paralysis.

Three days maybe. Hell, there are guys here that would have asked her out in three minutes.

By the time you began to gin up the courage to ask her out, she was way past done waiting, if she was waiting. She knew you didn't have any confidence or courage.

What did you get out of waiting that long (bedsides shot down)?

 

[Skyline]

She's already expressed her disinterest, so move on. I would keep her around for her friends since she seems to enjoy your company.

 

[s.mah]

If it takes you three weeks to be confident enough with a woman to begin to think about asking her out, be prepared for a long, lonely existence.

By your own words, you spent three weeks -THREE WEEKS - on "Blah Blah" and the took a friend with you to observe. That is plain analysis paralysis.

Three days maybe. Hell, there are guys here that would have asked her out in three minutes.

By the time you began to gin up the courage to ask her out, she was way past done waiting, if she was waiting. She knew you didn't have any confidence or courage.

What did you get out of waiting that long (bedsides shot down)?

It's not that i didnt have the courage to talk to her until 3 weeks, its because, correct me if im wrong, i had to make a minimum connection with her, because basically, everyday she gets asked out 100 times, so i had to make her actually now me before i ask her out or i would look like any guy who saw the hot waitress and was desperate to sleep with her

 

[Tictac]

Then take three weeks 'to make a minimum connection to her'. After which you will forever be a friendly customer and never more than that.

Good luck with that.

 

[Alexandar]

ok, next time dont wait so long, that you understand now

but in addition, your persistance mindset is good just dont use those apologetic weak phrases that suspens highlighted

when she says she has a boyfriend, you should say so what i have a girlfriend, we are just gonna hang out its not a date.

and by the way you obviously realize she said its cuz ur a customer first, so she may be lying about the boyfriend, and is showing disinterest.

which doesnt mean you couldnt have phucked her but you probably had to act sooner and/or more aggresively.

sometimes you escalate chicks who are in the right mood, and even if they dont like you much theyll go with it cuz ur not a creep and they r horny

 

[s.mah]

ok, next time dont wait so long, that you understand now

but in addition, your persistance mindset is good just dont use those apologetic weak phrases that suspens highlighted

when she says she has a boyfriend, you should say so what i have a girlfriend, we are just gonna hang out its not a date.

and by the way you obviously realize she said its cuz ur a customer first, so she may be lying about the boyfriend, and is showing disinterest.

which doesnt mean you couldnt have phucked her but you probably had to act sooner and/or more aggresively.

sometimes you escalate chicks who are in the right mood, and even if they dont like you much theyll go with it cuz ur not a creep and they r horny

Ok, Everything you said is right, but you just made me realize another issue with myself, when you said "you should say so what, i have a girlfriend, we are just gonna hangout, its not date" that exact phrase came to my mind but the problem that it came the next day, i started telling myself: why didnt i say that ?! it actually happens to me every time when i approach a chick and get rejected, I always say, s**t !! i should've said this and that

 

[s.mah]

Then take three weeks 'to make a minimum connection to her'. After which you will forever be a friendly customer and never more than that.

Good luck with that.

well, thanks for the reply, but actually you could be more helpful by telling whats wrong with this approach and tell me what should i've done instead. Because i still don't understand how this 3 weeks of trying to build a connection ruined it or have any relation of me getting rejected.
thanks again

 

[Infern0]

well, thanks for the reply, but actually you could be more helpful by telling whats wrong with this approach and tell me what should i've done instead. Because i still don't understand how this 3 weeks of trying to build a connection ruined it or have any relation of me getting rejected.
thanks again

You should ask straight away because it looks like you lack confidence otherwise.

The other thing is that if shes going to say no it's better to get it over with as fast as possible so you dont end up hung up on her then getting rejected.

"is she in or is she out" is basically what you want to know without saying it.

Ask out as fast as possible, if you get rejected walk away

On the date, attempt physical contact as soon as possible, go for the kiss on the first date, if you get rejected walk away.

If the girl is attracted to you she won't resist those things and you can go from there, if she does resist she's not interested enough so dont waste your time.

 

[s.mah]

You should ask straight away because it looks like you lack confidence otherwise.

The other thing is that if shes going to say no it's better to get it over with as fast as possible so you dont end up hung up on her then getting rejected.

"is she in or is she out" is basically what you want to know without saying it.

Ask out as fast as possible, if you get rejected walk away

On the date, attempt physical contact as soon as possible, go for the kiss on the first date, if you get rejected walk away.

If the girl is attracted to you she won't resist those things and you can go from there, if she does resist she's not interested enough so dont waste your time.

so its either she is interested from the beginning or not, i thought about it in the beginning, but then i said that she is not a girl in a bar who is checking every person who comes in and out, she is in her work, so she may not even notice me that first day, so i had to make her notice me before i approach.
what do you think ?

 

[Igetit!]

WOW.....I......


just WOW.


I almost don't even know what to say to this. I felt as awkward reading that...probably as much as this poor girl felt having to deal with it.

You got the title of this thread right.....dude...YOU NEED HELP. I've read some awkward sh1t in my 7 years here,but this? You kinda take the cake with this one.

I don't even know if the DJ Bible would be of any help.....you just.....man,I don't know.

There's a girl who works as waitress in a café, I went there once, and got stunned when i saw her, decided that I want to get her (NOT FOR SEXUAL AMUSEMENT SOLELY, MEANS THAT I DONT PLAN TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF HER IN ANYWAY).
so i started going to the cafe everyday and having little chats with her, and made it obvious that i was interested in her by only ordering from her and only communicating with her and stating that i dont want her to call me sir, just call me with my name, and also whenever i go there and sit on a table, she comes to me and greet me and we have this chat of how are you ? BLAH BLAH

You did EVERYTHING wrong from the getgo...and I mean EVERYTHING. It was like you have 5 runners all lined up next to each other,getting ready to race. Then the announcer goes,"On your mark......Get set.........GO!!!...then he fires a gun in the air.

Then all 5 of the runners take off running at full speed,only one of them....soon as he hears the gun go off,he turns around in the opposite direction and takes off running the WRONG WAY.


That runner my friend,is YOU. You started off wrong....WAY wrong.

after about a 3 weeks of going there (not everyday) I was confused whether she's interested in me or she had to be nice too me because I'm a customer, I decided to take a friend with me, (before, i was going alone with my laptop doing some work) my friend said that it is obvious that she's interested because she's treating me different than other customers, but still i was not sure so I took another friend and when we sat on a table, she came as usual and greet me, and I asked how is she ? she said that finally her day off is after 2 days, so i just asked her what did she do in her day off and finished the conversation, my friend got angry on me and said: YOU IDIOT! THAT WAS YOUR CHANCE, SHE OBVIOUSLY WANTED YOU TO ASK HER OUT ON HER DAY OFF!

Wow,lol. So you took two friends up there to try to guage the girl's interest,and THEY BOTH SAID she was interested in you.....one because she treated you differently than the other customers,and the other friend said she likes you because he thought she was hinting for you to ask her out on one of her days off..............and both of them were wrong.


Wow,lol. You guys remind me of the three stooges.

the next day I went there and what happened is the following:

she came to my table as i sat and:
Me: Hey...., how are you today ?
She: Im fine, how are you ?
Me: Im fine too, so tomorrow is your day off right ?
She: yes, finally, im so tired.
Me: so wahts your plans for tomorrow ?
She: Nothing i will just sleep, im so tired.
Me: Come on, btw have you seen the aquarium in the city ? (she is new in the country)
She: yeah I saw it before when i came as a tourist but i don't remember that much.
Me: i have two tickets for a visit and a dinner in a restaurant there, would you like to go with me ?
she: thank you, but maybe another time.
me: come on, its ok, we will have fun.
she: no no, another time.

Then i said its ok and she went away and that was the first time when she didnt bring my order and she started avoiding looking at me, to be honest i became nervous a little bit but then decided to pull myself and be calm and i called her.

Me: listen, can i get another cup of coffee?
She: of course
Me: and I wanna tell you something, if you don't want to go out because you're busy, it's okay, but if you're shy, I will really be sad, because you shouldn't.
She: no its not like this, but honestly, we are not allowed to go out with customers
Me: aha, ok then.

and she went away to get my coffee and when she came back i said the following:

Me: Listen, if that is the real reason, then you will not say anything about it, and i will never come again to this place, i dont care about this place.
She: no it's not about this , but the thing is , i have a boyfriend and he will be angry.
Me: oh, Im sorry, I didnt know that before, ok then.

then she went away, and i called her after a while and told her

Me: Dont be angry with me
She: no of course, its okay, and you are very nice guy and kind and smiling. and we are friends, right ?
Me: yeah of course. (FRIENDZONED )

You know....it's not that often that this happens,but after reading that exchange,I feel sorry for that poor girl,lol. I can't imagine how awkward and uncomfortable she must have felt.

You asked her out,and she POLITELY turned you down. Then you kinda resorted to slight begging,with "Oh,come on"....and she turned you down again.

Then she left......and you called her back.
She left again...then you called her back a second time.
She left again,and you called her back again for yet a THIRD time.......and each time you called her,you kept talking about the rejection,which made her more and more uncomfortable.


You have a lot.....a LOT to learn....more than any one post (or even the collection of them) in this thread can teach.

Now I know that some people will tell me to move on, but i have that stupid trait of being so persistent and i dont take "no" for an answer until I embarrass myself or the other person, so please any opinion on where am I ? and what do you thing the situation is ? and what should i do about it ?

I'm not going to say to stop going up there,but don't go everyday. And STOP ASKING HER OUT. Just try to learn from this so you'll do better with a new girl...don't go embarrassing yourself and making this girl uncomfortable again.


That poor girl was reaching for every excuse in sight.....

"Oh maybe another time"
"We're not allowed to date customers"
"I have a boyfriend,he might get angry"

and on and on. Just back off man,leave her alone. There's millions of other girls to choose from,but you have a WHOLE LOT of learning to do before you dive off into the sea of women and dating.

 

[bigneil]

Stalker!

This reminds me of Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982) when the guy says "Remember that girl at Photomat last summer? You bought fifty dollars worth of f*cking film, and you don't even own a camera!"

Here is what you should have said: "I'm going to the Aquarium tomorrow if you'd like to join me". Period. You can't arm wrestle her into talking to you. She's probably started a FB post about this guy at her work who won't leave her alone.

"The attitude dictates that you don't care whether she comes, stays, lays or prays. I mean no matter what happens your toes are still tapping. Once you have that, then you have the attitude".

 

[s.mah]

WOW.....I......


just WOW.


I almost don't even know what to say to this. I felt as awkward reading that...probably as much as this poor girl felt having to deal with it.

You got the title of this thread right.....dude...YOU NEED HELP. I've read some awkward sh1t in my 7 years here,but this? You kinda take the cake with this one.

I don't even know if the DJ Bible would be of any help.....you just.....man,I don't know.




You did EVERYTHING wrong from the getgo...and I mean EVERYTHING. It was like you have 5 runners all lined up next to each other,getting ready to race. Then the announcer goes,"On your mark......Get set.........GO!!!...then he fires a gun in the air.

Then all 5 of the runners take off running at full speed,only one of them....soon as he hears the gun go off,he turns around in the opposite direction and takes off running the WRONG WAY.


That runner my friend,is YOU. You started off wrong....WAY wrong.





Wow,lol. So you took two friends up there to try to guage the girl's interest,and THEY BOTH SAID she was interested in you.....one because she treated you differently than the other customers,and the other friend said she likes you because he thought she was hinting for you to ask her out on one of her days off..............and both of them were wrong.


Wow,lol. You guys remind of the three stooges.






You know....it's not that often that this happens,but after reading that exchange,I feel sorry for that poor girl,lol. I can't imagine how awkward and uncomfortable she must have felt.

You asked her out,and she POLITELY turned you down. Then you kinda resorted to slight begging,with "Oh,come on"....and she turned you down again.

Then she left......and you called her back.
She left again...then you called her back a second time.
She left again,and you called her back again for yet a THIRD time.......and each time you called her,you kept talking about the rejection,which made her more and more uncomfortable.


You have a lot.....a LOT to learn....more than any one post (or even the collection of them) in this thread can teach.




I'm not going to say to stop going up there,but don't go everyday. And STOP ASKING HER OUT. Just try to learn from this so you'll do better with a new girl...don't go embarrassing yourself and making this girl uncomfortable again.


That poor girl was reaching for every excuse in sight.....

"Oh maybe another time"
"We're not allowed to date customers"
"I have a boyfriend,he might get angry"

and on and on. Just back off man,leave her alone. There's millions of other girls to choose from,but you have a WHOLE LOT of learning to do before you dive off into the sea of women and dating.

wow, that was harsh, I have feeling that if i were in front of you, you could've slapped me in the face. well, to be honest, i was hoping that you could see my thread and comment on it , because reading your replies is mainly what got me register here, but man, you destroyed me but come on, give me a break, in my thread title I'm saying: Help!. and i know that i need help, thats what got me to read online and made me find this forums !

 

[GS750]

OP...please read the bible and learn some stuff about social dynamics and dealing with girls. Check out Corey Wayne's book and Youtube vids. Hitting on hostesses and waitresses is tacky. This is why some of the girls I've known who do that job wear a wedding or endgagement ring, even if they are single, when they are working. They don't want to get hit on by customers. They are there to work. Unless you get a CLEAR sign of interest, and I mean clear as day, don't take their friendly demeanor as a sign that they are into you. They are paid to be nice to customers. Also, read some info on hitting on hired guns (hot bartenders, hostesses, and servers). It usually takes more than one visit to the place to get some rapport going with them before you go in for the kill. And once you get turned down, let it be.

 

[:-)]

It's ok. We've all been here. You were operating in the dark. You are not yet aware of how things work. Stick around and be prepared for a shift in your thinking and you should be alright. Oh and don't be afraid to be honest about wanting to use women for your sexual amusement - we know you want to, you know you want to and most importantly she knows you want to. Pretending otherwise just makes you look like a creep.