Confused by her actions

Suba

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Hey what's up everyone.

So the issue is quite complex, she had a long time crush on me, so I'll have to describe things that happened in past, but I will make sure to make it as easily digestible as possible.
Me 20, girl in question 18.

There's this one girl, she is my classmate, and we've been going to the school for three years (out of four).
She is quite shy, little bit socially awkward, but she likes to communicate with other people, and is very attractive (nice face, small and busty, that's how I like it).

We were getting along pretty well as friends, talking a lot to each other, having the same sense of humour etc. It seems like we clicked very well more than just friends, and other people in class could tell that as wel, as they told me they would see us as a couple one day. I was interested in her, so 2 years ago, I invited her out. She agreed at first, but then said she unexpectedly had something else to do (recently I discovered that in fact she was very shy and chickened out), so I moved on, found a different girl, that was it.

Fast forward to March this year, my ex-gf broke up with me, and once the girl in question heard about that, I noticed how she started to talk to me more often. She randomly texted me on Messenger to give her my phone number, randomly asking me how I am, if I'll go to some parties etc. So I asked her again to hang out, and this time she finally accepted. Everything was great, we were talking about things, done fun activites.. We continued to hang out more during March and April, and it was really obvious that both of us want something more than just being friends. We started to touch each other more often, touching arms, hugging.. the chemistry was just starting to be there.

Also the fact that I heard from some of her girl friends that the girl had a crush on me basically for those three years definitely means something.

I invited her to go to a concert with me, just me and her. We really enjoyed it, at first there was nothing much, but as the concert went on, we started to touch more, eventually she grabbed my hand and placed it on her waist when I was behind her, then I was hugging her from behind.. When the concert ended, I stared into her eyes (knew that she wanted more), and went for a kiss. We then both said that we like each other etc.

Now an important note: She never had a boyfriend, she never kissed any guy, so everything that we do together is something new for her. So that is important to keep in mind.

We continued to date and stuff, everything seemed great, there seemed to be a big attraction from her to me, but just few days later, when we were hanging out, she told me that we should better stay as friends. This came as a surprise to me, because I knew how long she had a crush on me, I saw how attracted she was to me.. I told her okay, let's be friends, no biggie - but I continued pursuing her, because I wanted her.

Then few weeks later, we are out with friends drinking beer, the girl is there too. I hear from other people there that I should go for it, don't give up, so we got some private space with the girl, we talked about some things I don't remember anymore, and then we made out. She seemed to regret the 'break up', but that it was her first relationship, she was shy and scared about what she should do etc. Typical inexperience, I understand. We continue to literally make out for close to an hour (I would've taken her to my place, if not for my parents, as I don't live alone).

We continue to date more, now if I don't count in the break up, we are dating for more than a month now.

Recently we got a little drunk again, and talked about us. She feels 'awkward' talking about feelings, relationships when she doesn't have at least some alcohol in her. I found out that she has these feelings, one time she likes me, then the other she likes me less, she is confused and doesn't know what she wants, what to think. So I am telling to myself "What the f--? She makes out with me so passionately, touches me, flirts, goes out one on one a lot.. That is what you call 'being confused?'" I also find out that she is scared that I will compare her to my ex-gf, so I am wondering if that is also something that has an effect on her.

Yet like right after she tells me this, we walk around the night Prague (really beautiful, romantic, you should visit this city sometime!), we occasionally stop and kiss for longer time, then we repeat doing this for few hours around the town. Like literally, she puts her arms on my shoulders around me behind my head, plays with my hair, puts her hands everywhere, kisses so passionately, lets me touch her boobs and overall be intimate.. yet she is confused about her feelings.
Now I know that I want to escalate more and see her reaction to it, so I ask her if she wants to come to my place next time, watch a movie etc. And she agreed to that, so this Wednesday I'll have her at my place, and I'll escalate fully (perhaps not full on sex yet, as she is virgin and a little conservative).

I am really confused by her actions. On one hand it is seriously SO obvious that she wants me, that she is attracted to me, but says that she is confused about her feelings for me. I think her trying to be way too hard to get and stuff is out of question, as she is inexperienced in relationships. Some friends told me that everything we do together is just something new to her, so I should just give some time to her to get used to it, and she will open up more.
I'll be honest that I am looking for a longer relationship with her, I don't want her just as a FWB or something like that, but at the same time I don't have that high expectations.

What do you think? Is there anything I should be careful about, look out for, is there a way I should approach her not to scare her off?

Thanks.

TL;DR: Shy and inexperienced girl who had a crush on me for three years says she is confused about her feelings for me, but physically shows that she is very attracted to me. Is there anything I should be careful about, look out for, is there a way I should approach her not to scare her off?
 
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lamath

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Too long i only read 1/2 of it, but if she seems to be hot and cold.
I would just give her less attention and silence and distance for a while.

Dont be too available to her, dont anwser her txt right away and sometime dont even anwser then at all.

This should help her make her mind on what she want
 

Suba

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Too long i only read 1/2 of it, but if she seems to be hot and cold.
I would just give her less attention and silence and distance for a while.

Dont be too available to her, dont anwser her txt right away and sometime dont even anwser then at all.

This should help her make her mind on what she want

Hey, yeah, I added TL;DR at the bottom:
Shy and inexperienced girl who had a crush on me for three years says she is confused about her feelings for me, but physically shows that she is very attracted to me. Is there anything I should be careful about, look out for, is there a way I should approach her not to scare her off?

The thing is, I don't give her attention that much. She doesn't use her phone that much anyway, so we don't really text a lot.
 

The Duke

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Stop taking her so seriously. Have a good time, party your a$$ off and have some hot sex.

This relationship/feelings vibe you give off is probably turning her off. Thats her job, never the man's job.

And anytime you are confused by her actions........she isn't that into you. A girl that is super into you will create zero confusion.
 
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Robert28

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Act distant through communication other than setting up dates, when on said dates be very sexual and fun. The more touching her the better, it can be anything doesn’t have to be over the top. Just don’t be around her and never touch her, be fun and laugh a lot and make her laugh. Then go back to distant in between dates. She will either come around or she won’t but this is the only way to fix it. Worked for me with a girl like this. After several dates like this she got mad cause I hadn’t text her in 2 days, however in the beginning she’s go 2 weeks without talking to me.lol
 

Robert28

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Stop taking her so seriously. Have a good time, party your a$$ off and have some hot sex.

This relationship/feelings vibe you give off is probably turning her off. Thats her job, never the man's job.
This advice too! When the girl I mentioned blew up on me cause she had to text first I just said “why are you treating me like a boyfriend when you said we were just sorta kinda dating? Did I miss something where we are in a serious relationship now?lol” That stopped it right there and SHE apologized to ME.
 

Suba

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Stop taking her so seriously. Have a good time, party your a$$ off and have some hot sex.

This relationship/feelings vibe you give off is probably turning her off. Thats her job, never the man's job.

And anytime you are confused by her actions........she isn't that into you. A girl that is super into you will create zero confusion.
Hey, thank you, this is some really useful advice.

But yeah, I make the dates fun. I know it might've seemed like I am trying way too hard to make her commit - It's probably because I am sick now and at home, thinking about some things way too much, lol.

She's coming to my place in a few days, so that's a nice opportunity for more escalation.
 

Robert28

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Hey, thank you, this is some really useful advice.

But yeah, I make the dates fun. I know it might've seemed like I am trying way too hard to make her commit - It's probably because I am sick now and at home, thinking about some things way too much, lol.

She's coming to my place in a few days, so that's a nice opportunity for more escalation.
Wine is your best friend if she’s coming over.
 

marmel75

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The fact she is still going out with you when you are afraid to do anything more than kiss her and touch her boobs is amazing. Her confusion stems from the fact she wants you to be a man and fvck her brains out but she doubts you have it in you to be the man she wants you to be.

So OP, do you have it in you?
 

Dr.Suave

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Don´t pay attention to what she says, only pay attention to her actions. Escalate, she will either allow it or won´t, either way you´ll have your answer.
 

jaymbrs

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She's too inexperienced so she's going to do this for a long time. You're the guy she's going to look back on as a learning experience for the guys she dates in the future. Not that I want for that to happen but it's a very likely scenario based on how she's acting now. I would stop putting in so much effort. This hot and cold is not good.
 

Epic Days

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You have to lead her. You should have taken her clothes off already. She should be confused. I would be. She’s hot and cold because you won’t act.
She passionately making out and touching you? That isn’t shy. She will never initiate sex. That’s your job.
 

GrowingPains

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And anytime you are confused by her actions........she isn't that into you. A girl that is super into you will create zero confusion.
1. If you're confused, she isnt.

Think about that for a few minutes.

When a woman's actions (conversations, texts, etc) are confusing you and coming across as mixed signals: She is being very clear with you. You just arent listening.

How to solve the problem: Simply vanish. If a woman is unclear or confusing to me, I eject. I dont even say bye. If her interest is high enough she will return rather quickly and her communication will be much clearer when she does.

I will bet you that out of the 3 current plates I have right now, they will all say that I am tough to figure out and that I send them mixed messages. In actuality I dont send them mixed messages. I simply dont tell them what they want to hear all of the time and that creates an internal turmoil inside of them. In the business of fvcking women, that is good for business. Someone is going to be confused. If it is you, then you are doing something wrong OR the woman's interest is low and you havent figured it out yet.
 

Robert28

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You can turn this around but it’s going to take a lot of work, some balls and patience. Oh and meeting a couple new girls to keep you honest and busy. Do exactly what Glassguy said because it works, I’ve done it! I had this girl confusing me for 2 months, she was good at what she was doing and my penis was doing all the thinking while my brain was saying “dude wtf are you doing? This girl is running you in circles!”. I ghosted for 4 days. FOUR days. Guess who became confused all of a sudden? She did. But when you do this you aren’t out of the woods yet, not even close. Cause now you have to do all the things right you were doing wrong or else you’ll be back to where you are within a day or 2 and you won’t get a second chance and flipping the power.
 

marmel75

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You need to invite her to burger king and then escalate it and fck her somewhere.
Just do like Digital Underground sang:
"I like the freaks, I like the girls with the boom...
I once got busy in a Burger King Bathroom"
 

marmel75

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You can turn this around but it’s going to take a lot of work, some balls and patience. Oh and meeting a couple new girls to keep you honest and busy. Do exactly what Glassguy said because it works, I’ve done it! I had this girl confusing me for 2 months, she was good at what she was doing and my penis was doing all the thinking while my brain was saying “dude wtf are you doing? This girl is running you in circles!”. I ghosted for 4 days. FOUR days. Guess who became confused all of a sudden? She did. But when you do this you aren’t out of the woods yet, not even close. Cause now you have to do all the things right you were doing wrong or else you’ll be back to where you are within a day or 2 and you won’t get a second chance and flipping the power.
Its almost never worth the effort...its always easier to simply find a new woman who is highly interested and not make the same mistakes.
 

cola

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Hey what's up everyone.

So the issue is quite complex, she had a long time crush on me, so I'll have to describe things that happened in past, but I will make sure to make it as easily digestible as possible.
Me 20, girl in question 18.

There's this one girl, she is my classmate, and we've been going to the school for three years (out of four).
She is quite shy, little bit socially awkward, but she likes to communicate with other people, and is very attractive (nice face, small and busty, that's how I like it).

We were getting along pretty well as friends, talking a lot to each other, having the same sense of humour etc. It seems like we clicked very well more than just friends, and other people in class could tell that as wel, as they told me they would see us as a couple one day. I was interested in her, so 2 years ago, I invited her out. She agreed at first, but then said she unexpectedly had something else to do (recently I discovered that in fact she was very shy and chickened out), so I moved on, found a different girl, that was it.

Fast forward to March this year, my ex-gf broke up with me, and once the girl in question heard about that, I noticed how she started to talk to me more often. She randomly texted me on Messenger to give her my phone number, randomly asking me how I am, if I'll go to some parties etc. So I asked her again to hang out, and this time she finally accepted. Everything was great, we were talking about things, done fun activites.. We continued to hang out more during March and April, and it was really obvious that both of us want something more than just being friends. We started to touch each other more often, touching arms, hugging.. the chemistry was just starting to be there.

Also the fact that I heard from some of her girl friends that the girl had a crush on me basically for those three years definitely means something.

I invited her to go to a concert with me, just me and her. We really enjoyed it, at first there was nothing much, but as the concert went on, we started to touch more, eventually she grabbed my hand and placed it on her waist when I was behind her, then I was hugging her from behind.. When the concert ended, I stared into her eyes (knew that she wanted more), and went for a kiss. We then both said that we like each other etc.

Now an important note: She never had a boyfriend, she never kissed any guy, so everything that we do together is something new for her. So that is important to keep in mind.

We continued to date and stuff, everything seemed great, there seemed to be a big attraction from her to me, but just few days later, when we were hanging out, she told me that we should better stay as friends. This came as a surprise to me, because I knew how long she had a crush on me, I saw how attracted she was to me.. I told her okay, let's be friends, no biggie - but I continued pursuing her, because I wanted her.

Then few weeks later, we are out with friends drinking beer, the girl is there too. I hear from other people there that I should go for it, don't give up, so we got some private space with the girl, we talked about some things I don't remember anymore, and then we made out. She seemed to regret the 'break up', but that it was her first relationship, she was shy and scared about what she should do etc. Typical inexperience, I understand. We continue to literally make out for close to an hour (I would've taken her to my place, if not for my parents, as I don't live alone).

We continue to date more, now if I don't count in the break up, we are dating for more than a month now.

Recently we got a little drunk again, and talked about us. She feels 'awkward' talking about feelings, relationships when she doesn't have at least some alcohol in her. I found out that she has these feelings, one time she likes me, then the other she likes me less, she is confused and doesn't know what she wants, what to think. So I am telling to myself "What the f--? She makes out with me so passionately, touches me, flirts, goes out one on one a lot.. That is what you call 'being confused?'" I also find out that she is scared that I will compare her to my ex-gf, so I am wondering if that is also something that has an effect on her.

Yet like right after she tells me this, we walk around the night Prague (really beautiful, romantic, you should visit this city sometime!), we occasionally stop and kiss for longer time, then we repeat doing this for few hours around the town. Like literally, she puts her arms on my shoulders around me behind my head, plays with my hair, puts her hands everywhere, kisses so passionately, lets me touch her boobs and overall be intimate.. yet she is confused about her feelings.
Now I know that I want to escalate more and see her reaction to it, so I ask her if she wants to come to my place next time, watch a movie etc. And she agreed to that, so this Wednesday I'll have her at my place, and I'll escalate fully (perhaps not full on sex yet, as she is virgin and a little conservative).

I am really confused by her actions. On one hand it is seriously SO obvious that she wants me, that she is attracted to me, but says that she is confused about her feelings for me. I think her trying to be way too hard to get and stuff is out of question, as she is inexperienced in relationships. Some friends told me that everything we do together is just something new to her, so I should just give some time to her to get used to it, and she will open up more.
I'll be honest that I am looking for a longer relationship with her, I don't want her just as a FWB or something like that, but at the same time I don't have that high expectations.

What do you think? Is there anything I should be careful about, look out for, is there a way I should approach her not to scare her off?

Thanks.

TL;DR: Shy and inexperienced girl who had a crush on me for three years says she is confused about her feelings for me, but physically shows that she is very attracted to me. Is there anything I should be careful about, look out for, is there a way I should approach her not to scare her off?
She is a nut, waste of time. Don’t make any further efforts to hang with her.
 
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