Everyone,
I've been seeing a woman as of late -- we've gone out three times and have always had fun. I went for the kiss at the end of the second date, and although it seemed to take her by surprise, and she actually kind of made a joke afterwards like she was going to shake my hand and say goodbye, she had this big goofy grin on her face and then let me kiss her again. In fact, when it ended and I went to back away, she stepped forward and kissed me again. So I walked away thinking "great. She was a little hesitant, but maybe she was just nervous."
I tell you this because she really threw me for a loop last night. I invited her over to my place to have dinner and throw darts. I made some decent food and we ate and joked around -- you know, the usual flirty chit-chat, with me making fun of her when she missed the dart board, accusing her of cheating, and just otherwise teasing her. She laughed and gave it right back. She seemed to be having a good time and so was I. But I think I came across as a little nervous or tight because her body language was VERY closed off. She tended to stand with her arms crossed and kept more than an arm's-length of distance most of the time. She didn't object to me touching her here and there, but she didn't reciprocate. When we went for a brief walk outside, and it was obvious she was freezing, I put my arm around her, but she stayed closed off with her arms crossed. So I just sort of took my arm back.
Well, after that, we sat down to watch a movie. At one point, she leaned forward in her seat, so I kind of scratched her back a bit and when she was fine with that, I sort of moved my hand up to her neck. She made it pretty clear that she was uncomfortable with that, so I stopped and withdrew my hands altogether. About five minutes later, though, she turned in her seat and made a point of resting her hand on my shoulder. Long story short, I took it as a cue to go back to what I was doing and we spent the rest of the evening sort of huddled up with my arm around her. No big deal. It was nice.
So then I need to turn in. I had no reason to expect that she would want to stay or anything, given how much of a stretch it was to get her to respond to my touch, and as I expected, she said she was heading home. So I walked her to the door, expecting to at least get a kiss, and she said "bye" and turned and walked out.
I know this all sounds pretty bush-league, but I would appreciate your thoughts on the situation. I am inclined to just back-off and see if she makes any effort to contact me (she has always accepted my invitations, but doesn't seem inclined to make much contact on her own).
What would you do?
I've been seeing a woman as of late -- we've gone out three times and have always had fun. I went for the kiss at the end of the second date, and although it seemed to take her by surprise, and she actually kind of made a joke afterwards like she was going to shake my hand and say goodbye, she had this big goofy grin on her face and then let me kiss her again. In fact, when it ended and I went to back away, she stepped forward and kissed me again. So I walked away thinking "great. She was a little hesitant, but maybe she was just nervous."
I tell you this because she really threw me for a loop last night. I invited her over to my place to have dinner and throw darts. I made some decent food and we ate and joked around -- you know, the usual flirty chit-chat, with me making fun of her when she missed the dart board, accusing her of cheating, and just otherwise teasing her. She laughed and gave it right back. She seemed to be having a good time and so was I. But I think I came across as a little nervous or tight because her body language was VERY closed off. She tended to stand with her arms crossed and kept more than an arm's-length of distance most of the time. She didn't object to me touching her here and there, but she didn't reciprocate. When we went for a brief walk outside, and it was obvious she was freezing, I put my arm around her, but she stayed closed off with her arms crossed. So I just sort of took my arm back.
Well, after that, we sat down to watch a movie. At one point, she leaned forward in her seat, so I kind of scratched her back a bit and when she was fine with that, I sort of moved my hand up to her neck. She made it pretty clear that she was uncomfortable with that, so I stopped and withdrew my hands altogether. About five minutes later, though, she turned in her seat and made a point of resting her hand on my shoulder. Long story short, I took it as a cue to go back to what I was doing and we spent the rest of the evening sort of huddled up with my arm around her. No big deal. It was nice.
So then I need to turn in. I had no reason to expect that she would want to stay or anything, given how much of a stretch it was to get her to respond to my touch, and as I expected, she said she was heading home. So I walked her to the door, expecting to at least get a kiss, and she said "bye" and turned and walked out.
I know this all sounds pretty bush-league, but I would appreciate your thoughts on the situation. I am inclined to just back-off and see if she makes any effort to contact me (she has always accepted my invitations, but doesn't seem inclined to make much contact on her own).
What would you do?
