Hi there, girl lurker here, sorry. I have an honest need for advice, and I think if I brought all this game stuff up to a therapist he/she wouldn't understand and I'd have to spend time explaining "No Contact" to them which I don't feel would be worth doing.
I'm attracted to guys with game, sue me. However, several months ago a guy I met might've taken it to an extreme. He told me I had only a couple of chances to "flake" on him such as cancelling dates and being late, etc. It was weird but the good times we had seemed to make up for the weird ****. One night, I broke a date due to a last-minute work thing. Soon afterwards, he put me in NC.
I didn't know that's what he was doing at the time. My every attempts at contacting him were ignored or misdirected. I knew that he read up on PUA stuff so I started getting into it. I learned what NC was, and even ganji games. It was all very fascinating to me and he seemed to be doing these things by the fact that he wouldn't give me closure. Because I liked him a lot, I gave him several months space and contacted him again. He said we should meet up, which I agreed to, and it proved to me he was playing with my mind the whole time. But then a couple more months passed, and it gave me a chance to think.
Those months of being ignored by him were the most painful and confusing of my life so far. One night I couldn't really contain the hamster in my head and thought the only solution was to end it all. I really was on the verge of hurting myself, but somehow that feeling passed. I was still depressed but it never got to that point again.
Now he wants to meet up again. I'm afraid of what will happen if I do something like break another date this time. He knew I was hurting and yet acted like nothing was wrong. I don't think I can be with someone who does not care that they're hurting me. I don't think that in my case, the punishment fit the crime and even though I miss him and know that maybe he was just following NC, I have to let him go. I don't think he'll ever understand that I liked him for who he was, and not because of PUA or NC. ****y and funny are great and all, but I was attracted to his smarts and charm first and foremost.
I don't know. What do you do when you miss someone you're also afraid of and don't know what else they could be capable of if things don't always go their way?
I'm attracted to guys with game, sue me. However, several months ago a guy I met might've taken it to an extreme. He told me I had only a couple of chances to "flake" on him such as cancelling dates and being late, etc. It was weird but the good times we had seemed to make up for the weird ****. One night, I broke a date due to a last-minute work thing. Soon afterwards, he put me in NC.
I didn't know that's what he was doing at the time. My every attempts at contacting him were ignored or misdirected. I knew that he read up on PUA stuff so I started getting into it. I learned what NC was, and even ganji games. It was all very fascinating to me and he seemed to be doing these things by the fact that he wouldn't give me closure. Because I liked him a lot, I gave him several months space and contacted him again. He said we should meet up, which I agreed to, and it proved to me he was playing with my mind the whole time. But then a couple more months passed, and it gave me a chance to think.
Those months of being ignored by him were the most painful and confusing of my life so far. One night I couldn't really contain the hamster in my head and thought the only solution was to end it all. I really was on the verge of hurting myself, but somehow that feeling passed. I was still depressed but it never got to that point again.
Now he wants to meet up again. I'm afraid of what will happen if I do something like break another date this time. He knew I was hurting and yet acted like nothing was wrong. I don't think I can be with someone who does not care that they're hurting me. I don't think that in my case, the punishment fit the crime and even though I miss him and know that maybe he was just following NC, I have to let him go. I don't think he'll ever understand that I liked him for who he was, and not because of PUA or NC. ****y and funny are great and all, but I was attracted to his smarts and charm first and foremost.
I don't know. What do you do when you miss someone you're also afraid of and don't know what else they could be capable of if things don't always go their way?
