confused about reply to email...

[Burnover]

Okay, so I quit dating and everything because of school for almost about a year, and concentrated on that and un-wussing myself. So after making a few changes and letting some time pass, I check into the internet thing again and get a few new pics up. Sure enough, several emails show up out of the blue. I am now emailing 3 of them on a somewhat regular basis (but not several times a day like I used to). ;-)

One in particular I really think would be neat but I'm confused about a couple things. Like I have read in the DJB, I have asked for phone numbers, pics and the like quickly, and have recieved them from 2 of 3. The last one posted a pic finally, but said that she wants to move slowly and didn't want to give me her number. She's apparently really into working out and has asked some questions to that effect about myself. So I tell her the truth, that I'm not totally buff but I like to exercise and do so on a regular basis. Which is true, that's one thing I have been getting a handle on, but I am still slightly overweight (need to lose another 10). So today she asks me if I am "overweight at all", all the while apologizing for the rude question. I do have pics up (including full body ones) so it should be pretty obvious where I'm at. This email from her was fairly short and seemed to be a little distant, on the last one she seemed to have pretty high IL.

I guess there a few ways I could go about it. I could next her for being so shallow, but I don't know if that's the case or not. I could just be honest and tell her the truth. Or I could do that and combine a little c&f with it (well, I was at 500# but I'm down to just 300# right now, is that okay with you?)... Anyway - just looking for a little input about what I should do.

Thanks for the help!

 

[Player_Supreme]

1. be careful your not getting played here. By her initail making you wait for the number, your interest level has gone up, instead of the other way around.
2. girls that play games are low on my list. I preffer the "I'm interested in your right now" approach from women.
3. Yeah C/F thing you wrote sounds good.
4. Do not let this one take the lead in this thing your developing. Who cares if her standards are high...she has to prove herself worthy of you. Your the one who is going to school..has a career ahead of him...job, car, money...everything she will want to tie herself to...your the prize not her.

peace

 

[TesuqueRed]

You're in college but you're going to the internet to meet chicks--??? I'm not sure the reasoning for this---you're in a time and place where meeting women is literally shoved at you, and it will never be like that again.

You must have a good reason for this. I am wondering what it is.

Otherwise, get off the on-line meeting and get out and do it in person. On-line stuff really doesn't count, you need the face-to-face interaction.

 

[TesuqueRed]

Oh yeah, girl behind door #3 is putting up challenges and getting you to jump thru hoops. Either she likes the attention and control and has no intention of really getting together with you or she's into establishing control and getting you to jump through hoops--and it sounds like you're resisting but slowly getting pulled into it.

Too many obstacles and confusion at this stage, next her. Just say--"you know, it sounds like I'm not quite your type. it was nice speaking with you..." She may cave and become more friendly, but I would pass on her.

 

[Burnover]

Thanks for a couple good replies!

Player_Supreme - yeah, I had about figured as much, she is getting in control of the situation and I'm not liking it!

TesuqueRed - I didn't write the post to whine but since you asked it, the answer to your first post is that it's always been difficult for me in person. But, I'm working on that like everything else. I was in school for a year, I'm done now, approached and got shot down by the one chick I was interested in. But that's just as well though, I found out in the end. And yes, I think I will wait to reply just to not play into that aspect of things. Then I will follow your suggestion and both give her the info. she want but also say that maybe I'm not her type, etc...

Thx again!

 

[TesuqueRed]

I was wondering if it was something like that..

I know that d'Angelo (DYD stuff) recommends it for learning to kick back with the ****y and funny stuff--and for practice, that stuff is good. It gets you thinking of funny curve balls to throw back.

Of course, this is strictly practice, so don't let your expectations run rampant from there, which is all too easy to do on the internet. The internet is more fantacy-land than the phone is (think of Fantacy Island and Disneyland rolled into one and then some....)

Transition to face-to-face by taking your new-found funnybone and cracking fun jokes with the counterpeople you meet at the stores you go to.

This will lead to classmates, club-mates, friends of friends, and then--yes--cold approaches.

Basic idea: practice where it's safe, slowly escalate as you begin experiencing success at the lower levels and continue escalating as you experience success. When failure occurs you're at a level where you need to continue the practice. Success returns--escalate some more.

 

[Burnover]

I was wondering if it was something like that..

I know that d'Angelo (DYD stuff) recommends it for learning to kick back with the ****y and funny stuff--and for practice, that stuff is good. It gets you thinking of funny curve balls to throw back.

Of course, this is strictly practice, so don't let your expectations run rampant from there, which is all too easy to do on the internet. The internet is more fantacy-land than the phone is (think of Fantacy Island and Disneyland rolled into one and then some....)

Transition to face-to-face by taking your new-found funnybone and cracking fun jokes with the counterpeople you meet at the stores you go to.

This will lead to classmates, club-mates, friends of friends, and then--yes--cold approaches.

Basic idea: practice where it's safe, slowly escalate as you begin experiencing success at the lower levels and continue escalating as you experience success. When failure occurs you're at a level where you need to continue the practice. Success returns--escalate some more.

Hey thanks, that was actually my next project, working from the ground up in person, as is suggested in the boot camp. For this one chick, making her wait for a reply (well, I really was busy, not just playing games!) and then telling her that I might not be her type did work wonders. She actually sent me a message to apologize and ask if I had gotten her first message lol! I'm not holding my breath by any means, nonetheless it is fun to try different stuff and practice...